A Baron of Bonds (Conduit of Light #2)

10. Karus

Chapter 10

Karus

“Karus!”

My name from Revich’s lips pierced the space of what was the absence of light.

In my first step through the Blightress’s portal, his desperate call revealed my mistake. His anguished roar pierced my heart while the relentless chill of doubt settled into my skin.

“Revich?” I turned, not knowing which direction in the darkness that engulfed me.

He yelled my name again, and I screamed his.

I should not have done this.

“Revich!” I cried again, no longer hearing my own name in the abyssal black.

If this really was a portal, I had not transported to the other side.

I had been through two in my lifetime. Both had been green, both had transported me instantly across a span of distance I did not know.

I looked down to my hands. I could not see them. I closed my eyes and the place I stood looked no different. I felt the tears threaten to fall and took a breath. Opening my eyes again, I reproduced my orb of light, whispering, “ Illuminare ” and stepped in the direction I hoped was forward.

The cold of the void seeped through my skin, through my soaked dress that had hardly begun to dry in the blighted tunnel. I took what strength I had left and steadied my heart.

I felt pulled, yanked in many different directions since I’d entered the portal. I turned my head, unwilling to turn my feet, convinced that I needed to decide on a way that was forward.

It was all dark. It was all the blackest of space in the utter deprivation of light.

I walked on, nothing changing, no sign of anything but vacancy.

Was I supposed to do something? Say something? How had the lumens made it through this abyss, and what secret did the Blightress know and should have told me?

I continued walking, never knowing how long, unable to time the moments that had already passed. My green light pulsed, the only evidence that time moved at all.

Flare…dim.

Flare…dim.

Flare.

Nothingness surrounded me. Endless space of…nothing. Any hope I held dwindled rapidly like the last rays of light at deep dusk, and I caught myself slipping into madness.

I began to speak, my voice soft and stagnated in the dim light. “My name is Karus,” I began, clearing my throat of its imperfections. “It means beloved.”

I thought of what I might say to the Blightress’s portal. I thought of what I could possibly confess to leave.

“I chose my name. I took it for my own. I have been loved so fiercely in the last seven years, that I do not recognize anything but beloved.”

My light pulsed brighter, faster, evidence of my body’s refusal to stay calm and quiet.

“I am loved by many, and I love them in return, but my heart belongs to one man.”

Please let this be what the portal needed . If the doors to Viridis could request the soul who enters to know themselves at their truest name, it was possible this portal requested something of its inhabitant as well.

“Rev. His name is Rev. He loves me more than I can explain, more than words could ever weave to tell, and his heart is mine, and I—” I wiped the tears that fell down my cheeks, wanting to fall with them.

My feet pushed me forward, even in my stumble, my soul continually being pulled all over.

Minutes passed. An hour.

In my creeping insanity, I stiffened and promised myself that I would get out. I must get out. I didn’t care anymore about the answers to my questions. No one who would trap me in a portal could possibly help me understand more of myself.

I didn’t want to know her. I didn’t want to leave the lumens, but I would. I would fight my way back to Revich and never leave his side again.

I wiped my nose with my sleeve and spoke into the dark. “I must get back to him. I cannot stay here. I will not stay here!”

A determined rage burned from the deepest part of me, and I seethed my next words. “I will leave. Now . I’m done with this place.”

I turned around, no longer caring if I lost all sense of the direction I had gone.

Faster now—flare, dim, flare, dim.

“Do you hear me!” I screamed. “I will leave! Show me the way out! NOW!”

A light blinded me, and I fell forward, catching myself with my hands. My orb of light extinguished the moment they touched the rocky earth.

Hard, wet, solid earth. I muffled a cry of relief, shielding my eyes.

I’d tumbled into a massive cave, the light of the surface beaming through a small opening above.

I glanced behind to see the swirling mist of black—the portal had let me go, or I had forced myself from it. I didn’t know which, and I was too relieved to care.

I stood and wiped my wet hands on my dried dress. The previously white fibers were now gray and dull.

How much time had passed? In my heart, I refused to believe it had been more than an hour or two, but based on the stiff, dry, and discolored fabric of my dress, I knew it had been longer.

I wiped my eyes, rubbing them as they adjusted to the light. I was standing in a cave at least double the size of Viridis. The sound of water trickled down the walls, leaving the air riddled with moisture.

I took in my surroundings. A structure hung in the middle of the cave, tree-like limbs sprouting from its top, tangled and black. They adhered to the cave ceiling, and I rubbed my eyes once more, unsure of what I had just seen.

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

A monstrous heart beat steadily, hanging heavily from the cave like a grotesque abscess born from wrath and ruin.

For that’s what it exuded. The unmistakable feeling of anger, deep and destructive, seeped through each beat, as the heart cast a dull, crimson glow through the cavern.

I stood for a moment, staring at what hung enormous before me. Each pulse beat with me. Each echo of the throbbing mass of blood and flesh reflected inside my own chest.

I told myself I didn’t care.

I convinced myself that I couldn’t stop, couldn’t process what this meant or whose heart this was.

I had somewhere to be, and it was not here. It was not in this cave, even with realization pouring through me and more questions forming at its presence.

It could wait. Everything could wait, and I refused to stay any longer.

I continued forward, stumbling over the jagged, rocky ground, slick with algae. I looked for an entrance to another tunnel or door of some kind, my resolute heart refusing to contemplate the constant beating I knew well.

I spied what looked like steps upward, and following the ridge, I saw their end at the entrance to the surface above. I ran to their base, taking a moment to breathe, reminding myself that I had a long way to go.

I took each step with care, whispering, “ I will get out. I will find him. I will get out. I will find my way back to him.”

I repeated the words over and over, never stumbling, never slipping on the endless stone steps. I would not falter and I would not fail.

As I neared the top, I looked down onto the growth still beating, still mocking me in its steady, unyielding pulse.

I shivered, my resolve releasing just a moment before I caught myself again, refusing to stop any longer. I took each step quicker, still careful, still cautious of my feet which tended to trip on the simplest of things.

The fresh air above me became a welcome wave of cool salvation. I gripped the edge of the hole above as I finally reached my destination and pulled myself up completely, ignoring the last few steps.

I curled my fingers around wet grass, pulling at their roots, a cry escaping my throat as I let myself sob. I pulled my legs to my chest, my face lying against the muddy ground.

It was there, in the first rays of dawn, that I let my body release its fear, its anger, and its repulsion for what I’d just seen and been through. My tears fell, unheard and unfaltering, as they soaked through the ground that fed the heart of the Blight beneath.