A Biker’s Tiny Present (Rebel Vipers MC Christmas Standalone)

CHAPTER EIGHT

TINY

Missing the first six months of my son’s life, as well as not knowing about his mother’s nine months of pregnancy, really fucking sucks.

I would give anything to have been there to support her and watch my son grow. It doesn't take long for Nicky to fall asleep after finishing his bottle, so I just stay where I am and watch him sleep.

Looking around the room and seeing various pictures of a happy family, I can't help but think about the shitty way my life started. My father was a functioning alcoholic, abusive to anyone who questioned a word he said, but it ended up being his downfall. Still in prison the last time I checked, his anger was useless and unnecessary.

My mother was the exact opposite while I was growing up. She is the most loving, caring, and supportive mother anyone could ever ask for. Even as she was nursing her own wounds, she never let a day go by that I didn't know I was loved. Luckily Mom met my stepfather while I was away in the Marines and they have been together for twenty-five years. They currently live together in a nursing home and are happier than they've ever been. With the crap she had to deal with from my dad, I’m glad she found someone who actually treats her like the queen she is.

There was one bright beacon of light in my childhood that I will never forget—my Gran. On the occasional weekend when my dad was too drunk to care what was going on around him, mom would sneak her and I off to Gran’s house and we would stay there as long as he didn't notice. Gran taught me how to be a kind human being. Even under the rough exterior that goes hand in hand with my MC lifestyle, the person that she helped mold is still in me today.

Gran taught me how to crochet.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was eight years old and spending two weeks with her over the summer break. I don't remember where my dad was, but mom needed to work so she dropped me off to stay with Gran. One night there was a particularly bad thunderstorm and I couldn't fall asleep. As I made my way down the stairs, I tried to hear any noises other than the thunder and lightning rumbling and crashing outside. I wasn’t halfway down when Gran called out, “Henry, come on down and sit with me.”

It was the middle of the night and the living room was only illuminated by a couple candles on the coffee table, in between flashes of lightning, but Gran was cool as a cucumber. Camped out on the couch with what looked like a metal stick in one hand, and string wrapped around a few fingers of the other, I could’ve sworn she was weaving magic.

She patiently taught me how to use the hook and string to create a series of interlocking loops, eventually creating what she called masterpieces. Over those two weeks I made countless coasters, winter hats, and even helped her trim a scarf. My circles may not have been perfectly round, and my squares and rectangles looked more like trapezoids, but the time she spent patiently teaching me is something I have never forgotten. Even still to this day, when I have some downtime I pull out my backpack full of yarn, whip a few stitches, and create something I know my Gran would be proud of. Sadly she passed away just over eleven years ago on the day after I came home from my last appointment. I'd like to think she waited to see me just once more, but I know it was her time.

One picture frame sitting on the fireplace mantle catches my attention over the countless others. It's a shot of Taylor, Riley, and Nicky, huddled together in a hospital bed the day he was born. I should have been there for that. I should have been in that picture. It should have been me who took the picture of the three of them together. But it wasn't.

I didn't get to go to any ultrasound appointments, I didn't get to tour the hospital like I saw a few of my Brothers and their Old Ladies do together, and worst of all . . . I didn't get to see him being born. That’s what burns the most.

Nicholas is six months old and growing like a weed, but I have missed so many milestones already. Hell, he doesn't even have my last name.

As angry as I know I have every right to be, there's no use staying in the past. I get to watch the little boy in my lap grow up. I'll get to see him say his first words, take his first steps, teach him how to ride his first bicycle, and even help him fix up his first motorcycle. Everything I get to experience with him in the future is something I wish my father had done with me in the past. I won't miss a single moment.

“I packed up some stuff for Nicky so we can spend the day at the clubhouse.” Riley walks in the room and my trip down memory lane comes to a close. She’s changed into a pair of tight jeans, a red and black flannel over a black shirt, and a pair of somehow sexy shitkicker boots. I have a few pairs that look just like hers, in various shades of brown and black, although they are much larger than hers, but I've never thought of a pair of boots as something that would turn me on.

“Lookin’ good there, Vixen,” I shoot her a compliment and a wink.

“Why thank you, kind sir,” she sasses back with a wink of her own. She sets a backpack and a tote bag on the coffee table and points to them as she tells me what’s in each one. “Backpack is full of Nicky's things. Diapers, wipes, a few changes of clothes, as well as his blanket and monkey. The tote bag is his bottles and formula, along with the journals I found yesterday and a couple more that were in the bottom drawer of Taylor’s dresser. I figure while you’re doing whatever it is that you do with your Brothers, I’ll read some more entries and see if I can figure out any clues about where she could be hiding.”

“When I called Whiskey last night to let him know what’s goin’ on, he said he’d call Church for noon. So we should head out sooner rather than later.”

“Church? What’s that?”

“It’s what we call out club meetings. We don’t sit around and pray,” even the thought of some of my Brothers bowing their heads and talking to themselves, makes me chuckle. “It’s called Church ‘cause the room we use to gather is our sacred place. Only fully Brothers are allowed in that room.”

“Oh. Okay.” I can tell she doesn’t exactly get it, but I hope one day she will. “If you’re going to be busy, I can stay here so I’m not in anyone’s way.”

“No, Vixen, you and the little man are comin’ with me.” I get up and put the still sleeping Nicky in his car seat. “I need you with me. If we’re gonna to make this thing with us happen, and we will ‘cause I say so, you have to see how my MC works.”

“Okay.”

Pulling her into a hug, and resting my forehead on hers, I force her to keep her attention on me. “This thing? You, me, and Nicky, I’m all in. You’re comin’ to the clubhouse one way or another.”

“Well well, aren’t you a bossy one when you want your way?” She teases me with that cheeky smile before pressing a quick kiss to my lips.

“You have no idea.” I nip her lower lip and give it a sharp tug with my teeth.

Riley can’t hide her blush from me. “After last night, I think I might.”

“That’s okay. You’ll sort it all out the more time you spend with us.” I emphasize my seriousness with a slap to her ass.

“Us?” We pull apart and start getting ready to head out. “Who all is going to be there?”

“Majority of the club lives on the compound. Alot of the club members have private rooms in the clubhouse, including myself. My Prez, VP, Sergeant-at-Arms, and a few others have cabins out back for their families. A handful of others live nearby, all but one lives in Tellison I believe. It just depends on what works best for them, and if they have families.”

“Kids and families live in a motorcycle clubhouse?” Of course that's what catches her attention. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“We don’t do crazy shit around the kids.” Lacing up my boots, I watch her tuck a blanket around Nicky before I pick up the car seat. “Any club business is handled either in Church, which is a locked room where only Brothers are allowed, in Whiskey’s office, or when the kids and women ain’t around. Club business is for the men only.”

“So you’ll never tell me what you do all day?” She zips up her coat then grabs the bags of Nicky’s things. “How are we supposed to build a real relationship when everything about you is a secret?”

“Not everythin’ will be a secret, babe.” I use my free hand to tip up her chin to drop a kiss on her lips. “I know it’s a lot, and I definitely am not explainin’ this the right way, but I promise to tell you everythin’ I can, when I can.”

“When will that be?”

“When we get to the clubhouse, how about I introduce you to some of the women and have them give you the rundown? A bunch of my Brothers have Old Ladies, that’s what we call wives and committed girlfriends, and I know they’ll do a helluva better job at answerin’ your questions and tellin’ you the way things go day to day. Anything you still have questions about when we get back here tonight, I’ll answer the best I can, if I can.”

“Sounds like I’m about to jump into the shark filled deep end with no floaties.”

“It’s not that bad.” I chuckle quietly so I don’t wake the baby. “I got you, Vixen.”