A Break in Communications

Chapter 6

Lucy

Matthew Gould was a lovely sort, even if he was a bit brusque and not bothered by formalities. Maybe even better that way—didn’t need to stand on ceremony when Anna’s mother and I up and made friends with him.

The only part that was difficult was how my entire body shut down whenever Anna got cute and coupley with me. I was trying to keep it together, be a professional, manage the situation, but when she said something like how she was so looking forward to a cozy date with just the two of us…

It didn’t stop there, either—we sat at a table for some light food with Matthew and Anna’s mother Maria, along with her sister Veronica, and Anna and I sat next to each other, playing chicken. Started off with little things like putting my hand on top of hers on the table, and it quickly escalated to, when she made a comment about her garlic-parmesan breadstick, me goading her by batting my eyelashes and saying, “You’re not going to share some with me, sweetheart?”

She gave me a sidelong look, studying me, and I was quickly learning—my stomach dropped when I saw that glint in her eyes she got right before she decided to call my ante, and she smiled sweetly, picking up the breadstick. “You have only to ask, darling.”

She touched the tip of it to my lips, leaning in closer. My soul left my body, left the building, left the city center, headed out and caught a Greyhound, left town and started a new life. She wasn’t sparing me—touched her thumb and forefinger to my jaw, pushing slightly and parting my lips, and I sat stupefied as she slipped it into my mouth, just a bit but plenty more than enough to end me.

Somehow I found her gaze, making eye contact, which was a terrible idea but at the same time it was a fantastic idea, and it caught her off-guard a little too—she flinched, just a bit, blush creeping into her cheeks, and I let my eyelids get a bit heavier as I took a delicate bite off the end of the bread. Something crept into her eyes, a twitch, looking at me differently, and I wondered what she would do if I just pushed the damn bread out of the way and kissed her right now.

“Damn,” Veronica’s voice said from somewhere that didn’t matter, “you two—I love this for you and all, but, like, right in front of my sandwich?”

I winked at Anna, and it took her aback, just a little, as I turned back to the table, picking up my wine and swirling it lightly. “Well, if the sandwich is looking,” I said, “we’d better be decent.”

My mind kept spinning through it the whole time, that thought thrumming there in the front of my mind wondering how Anna would react if we upped the ante until I kissed her. And then I guess how she would react when I died instantly. To lay sacred touch upon a goddess was beyond the remit of a mere mortal, and I felt like the heavens would smite me if I tried.

Would be worth it, though.

We finished up with the meal before too much longer—the company was a bunch of cheap bastards and barely fed us more than a light lunch—and we moved onto the socializing, people gathering around with drinks and talking in the center of the room, gathering in small groups and gossiping, meandering, while Anna’s mother continued to flounce around like she was supposed to be here. I stuck to Anna’s side, both of us posing nicely with arms around each other’s waists, but when the rest of our table headed off in every direction, Anna leaned closer to me and spoke in a whisper.

“What are you after, Masters?”

“A happy life, Preston, darling. Aren’t we all?”

She twitched an eye in my direction. “I think I know why you’re inviting yourself to my family’s holiday reunion, but tell me so I know if it’s right.”

I smiled sweetly. “To spend more time with my precious partner?”

She closed her eyes, letting out a long, strained sigh. “So much for plausible deniability, huh?”

“ You , if you’ll recall, are the one who started staring into my eyes talking about cozy dates just for the two of us. I did not say anything specific until then.”

“Well—” She fluttered her eyes open, a little—just a little bit—cross-eyed with vexation. I didn’t think I’d ever seen anything half as cute. I thought I’d die on the spot. “ You started it.”

“Oh, did I? How, exactly?”

“With your—feeling me up?”

“My hand on your shoulder? What do you call your hand caressing my waist, then?”

She rolled her eyes, turning back to the drink she held in her free hand, and if I didn’t know Anna well, I’d think she was just sick of my bullshit. As it was, I knew she was sick of my bullshit and she had that cute little blush creeping into her face again. “Calling your bluff. I noticed you can do it to me all day but you lose your cool when I do it to you.”

Yeah, maybe that was because I was so desperately, achingly in love with her that I’d throw myself on a blade for her without a second’s hesitation, and every touch from her was a sweet symphony. But who knows? I was probably talking nonsense. “I guess I’ll have to get some more practice in, then. Shall we gaze deeply into one another’s eyes?”

“Like you’d be able to take it,” she said lightly into her wine before sipping it. I leaned closer to her ear, whispering softly.

“I promise you I can take it, Anna.”

She choked a little on the wine. I’d take that as a compliment. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew, Masters.”

It was just my selfish whims, but to be fair, she was inviting it. And I never, ever refused a challenge. I tilted my head to look at her, and I put my thumb and forefinger on her chin, just the way she had on me earlier, and I tilted her head to meet me, my heart settling into a blissful sigh when I met her eyes.

She blinked fast, blushing more, and she licked her lips nervously. I found myself smiling.

“You don’t do this a lot,” I said, my voice low, “do you?”

She didn’t miss a beat. “And you do?”

“Of course. All the time, with my husband.”

She smiled drily. “Given that your husband turned out to actually be your grandmother, honestly, that’s a little disgusting.”

I laughed. “What kinds of sick things do you spend your time picturing, Preston?”

“Sick things? You, mostly.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You spend a lot of time picturing me?”

“What? Uh.” She scrunched up her face, and I felt like my chest would explode. I knew it was just her being confused and forgetting what exactly she was responding to, but I liked to think about her spending a lot of time picturing me…

I didn’t even realize what I was doing, this close to Anna staring into where those dark eyes glimmered from the lights like stars all around us, and before I could realize what I was doing and catch myself, I’d leaned in, just enough to touch the tip of my nose to hers. It hit like flipping a switch, and she scrunched up her face more, blushing wider.

“I-I do not consent for you to kiss me,” she mumbled, a hundred different things in her eyes all at once. I laughed softly.

“I’m sure you spend a lot of time picturing that,” I said idly. She scowled.

“I’m not—”

“Good to establish these things,” I said lightly. “Consent is important.”

“Hm.”

“You’re so embarrassed,” I laughed. “I never thought I’d see Anna Preston herself get shy.”

She pursed her lips. “Too repulsed for words, actually.”

I smiled. “You can pull away anytime, darling.”

“And lose?”

I laughed. “Maybe that’s the reason you’re never dating anybody. Nobody’s challenged you to do it.”

She scowled harder, but that little pout in her lips said she couldn’t exactly summon a lot of venom. Probably hard to when you were touching noses with somebody. “I date people plenty.”

“Gutsy, as far as lies go, but I love a woman with some guts.”

She flicked her eyes away. “Don’t really care what your type is, Masters.”

“Hell of a thing to try claiming when your face is touching mine.”

She laughed—caught herself and rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she’d laughed. Or that she had the most beautiful laugh. “Your breath smells like garlic.”

“You’re the one who put it in my mouth.”

“I’ll put something else in your mouth.”

I raised my eyebrows. She did a double take.

“I mean—that doesn’t sound right—”

“Damn, Preston. But kissing is where you draw the line?”

“No—I mean—” She was red red now. She broke eye contact, looking down. “I just meant I’d… punch you in the mouth or… something like that… let’s move on past this—”

I couldn’t help the smile spreading over my features, even when I tried to suppress it. “What, get too nervous around a girl’s mouth?”

“Ugh—Lucy—stop that,” she muttered, putting a hand over her eyes.

“It’s okay. Only natural to be nervous at first.”

“Ugh, god. It is not at first, thank you,” she said, looking away. “I’ve dated women before, I’ll have you know.”

Well, that was one way to make me painfully jealous. I never thought I’d be a possessive partner, but in another universe where I ascended to godhood and got the chance to be with Anna Preston, I believed I’d be a jealous harpy over her. “You strike me as the type to have experimented in college.”

She glowered. “How could you possibly know that?”

I smiled wider. “That means I’m right.”

She looked away, pinching the bridge of her nose, our little moment of linked eyes and touching faces broken now. I think I’d won. Maybe we needed to go to best of three. “So invested in my life story, Masters…”

“Well, you are my girlfriend tonight.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes, and she gave me a light shove. “If you’re my girlfriend, make yourself a useful one and get me another drink.”

“A little bossy, huh? Don’t worry, I’m bossy in other ways.”

She shot me a look, but I swear there was a little smile at the corner of her lips. Or maybe it was my imagination.

I went back to pick up another champagne flute from where the supply was dwindling a little low now—once again, company was a bunch of cheap bastards—except a voice stopped me, a woman leaning against the table next to me and saying hey, and I looked at where Veronica Preston raised a hand in a lazy wave.

As far as Prestons went, she was all right… she looked too much like Anna to not be pretty, but mostly she just looked like a second-rate Anna Preston. Like a painter had set out to make Anna and left her unfinished. But she and Anna seemed to get along okay, so I guess she was all right. “Veronica,” I said, leaning against the table with her. “Good to see you here, at this event you aren’t supposed to be at.”

She blinked slowly. “What, are there rules on who’s allowed to be here?”

She was also a little slow sometimes. I smiled. “Well, if they let you in, then I suppose not. Did you come here just to drink the champagne?”

She shrugged. “And to find someone to smash.”

Well, I had to respect her directness. I doubted our office was the place for it, though. I put on a smile. “I… hope that goes well for you. Something I can do for you?”

She folded her arms, scowling at me. “Just don’t screw with Anna, okay? She really likes you.”

Well, that was news to me. “Does she, now?”

“What—she’s your girlfriend. Shouldn’t you know that?” She scowled. “Don’t tell me she denies it to you as much as she did to me earlier.”

“Ah.” I looked away, a hand to my forehead. “Truth be told, it’s all pretty new, and I still can’t get my head around the fact that I get to be with Anna.”

She studied me for a bit before she dropped her arms, her expression softening. “Damn, you’re really into her.”

Honesty worked in my favor this time, I guess. “It was love at first sight on my end. I just never thought I’d get a chance.”

That did it—she broke out into a big smile. “Aw. That’s so cute and stuff. I never thought Anna would be cute.”

“Hey—what the hell does that mean?”

She laughed. “Oh, jeez, you even go to bat for her. Okay, you’re good. Sister-approved. Don’t worry, she’s, like… obsessed with you. I swear every time I’ve seen her since forever, she’s been talking about you. I bet it was love at first sight for her too and she was just too emotionally constipated to realize.”

Veronica was going to start giving me false hopes. “Anything I should know about her, from the court of sisterly wisdom?”

“Oh, god. Where do I even start? She loves snickerdoodles. Her favorite flowers are violets. She’s a big Terry Pratchett fan, and she tried to get me to read the books when we were little, but I couldn’t get into them. I’m not really a reader, but she is… all kinds of books, novels, graphic novels, web serials, audiobooks. She loves a cozy spot by a window in the rain or the snow to listen to an audiobook. We were both big fans of that stupid show Sherlock, and we wrote fanfiction for it. Had our own little fanfiction universe with all our own little internal canons. She didn’t want to read all my erotic Mystrade fics, though. She’s just an intelligent, well-rounded woman who’s always wanted to be the best she can be, and she’s always had big dreams, always on her visualizations and her affirmations, set on her vision board from the beginning. That always meant a lot to her,” she laughed. “Don’t think she’s done her vision boarding in a while. God, there’s so much to say. She’s three years older than me, but we basically grew up together, sharing everything. I hate her, but I love her.”

I blinked, slowly, taking it all in, and in the end, I focused on, “You tried to share erotic fanfiction with your sister?”

“I think I missed out on forming those synapses where I’m supposed to find that kind of thing embarrassing.” She shrugged. “People fuck. I’m sure you and Anna fuck, and I’m sure it’s great. Doesn’t ruin anything for me.”

God, could you imagine? I didn’t think I could even take seeing Anna in her underwear without my heart exploding. “So I should study up on my Sherlock ships if I want to keep her.”

She laughed. “We both started hating the show around the same time. I bet she’d tell you off if you tried talking about it, but she’d totally secretly love it. She was a boring-ass Johnlock shipper, obviously. I even wrote a Johnlock fic that was only a little smutty and she still didn’t read it.”

“I wouldn’t, either, if my siblings wrote one.”

She beamed. “Do you have siblings?”

“Ah, yeah, I guess, technically, I have a brother, but he sided with my dad when he kicked me out for being a lesbian. My grandmother’s my real family.”

She made a face. “Sounds like your dad and your brother suck. Do you want me to kill them?”

“Yeah, actually, if you come across them and have some free time to commit murder, that would be great. Thanks, Veronica.”

“No prob. It’s what sisters are for.” She looked up past me, and she raised a hand, waving to somebody.

Guess it made sense who she made friends with—she and Kelcey seemed to be on the same wavelength, and Kelcey broke off from where she was talking to Harry from our department and came over with a big smile on her face.

“What’s up, Kelce,” Veronica said, and I almost said something before Veronica hooked her finger into the neckline of Kelcey’s dress and pulled her into what was, unreservedly, unabashedly, a makeout against the table. I stared blankly for a second—Veronica grabbed her butt, and I took that as my cue to leave them to it, turning and getting a glass of champagne on my way back to Anna.

Guess she had said she was looking for someone to smash. Hadn’t thought Kelcey would be the one, but… well, I hoped they had fun. Knowing Kelcey’s penchant for talking about things, we’d probably find out.

I found Anna by a column talking with Matthew, a small but genuine smile on her face talking away—seemed she really did have a knack with Matthew, although I was positive she could make anyone like her. I couldn’t imagine anyone in the world messed up enough to not fall in love with Anna Preston. She turned away just as I got up to her, turning to me with that loaded smile as she took the champagne from my hand, her fingers brushing mine.

“Took your sweet time, Masters,” she said, stepping close enough it was a conversation just for the two of us.

“Got distracted talking to your sister. Marched up and inserted herself talking to me, and then stopped just as suddenly to make out against the table with her… date tonight? Date feels like a generous word. She did tell me she was just looking for someone to smash tonight.”

She made a face, holding her glass up to her lips. “So, she found someone, huh.”

“She found someone from our department, no less. Guess she likes to keep it close to the family.”

“Ew. Who was it? Don’t tell me she’s over there grinding on Daniel.”

“Kelcey.”

I said it just as she took a sip, and she spat it back into her glass. “ What? ”

“Didn’t know Kelcey swung that way.”

“It’s not— Veronica doesn’t swing that way.”

I raised my eyebrows. “She was certainly… swinging.”

Anna clutched her glass white-knuckled, looking at me through a marble-white face. “I’m sure… it was just Veronica being touchy-feely.”

“Her tongue was visibly in Kelcey’s mouth. And her hands were on Kelcey’s butt. I don’t know about you, Preston, but I don’t do that with someone unless I have plans for them.”

Anna looked like she’d be queasy. “Oh, god. Do not tell me my sister is experimenting with Kelcey. Kelcey’s going to tell me every detail of it…”

“I don’t know if experimenting is the right word. Looked like she’d, uh, run that experiment a few times already.”

“I—don’t know how to handle this right now. I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you. And drink this wine.”

I laughed. “Maybe she experimented in college, too, darling.”

She rolled her eyes, knocking back a long sip of wine before she said, through a barely suppressed smile, “You spend a lot of time thinking about it.”

“Of course. Just from all the pining over you.”

She laughed, softly, under her breath. Odds were she didn’t know I was fully, deathly serious. “Mm-hm. Well, since you’re so curious. I first dated a woman in high school, identified as bisexual, and then started identifying as a lesbian in college and only dated women. Realized I still liked men, just not as much as I do women, so I’m back to bisexual. My sexuality feels fluid. I could see myself identifying as a lesbian again in the future and that would be okay, for me.”

Might have been the first real, genuine thing Anna openly told me about herself. I wanted to write it down, frame it, put it up on my wall. Every word out of her mouth, every banal fact about her life, was like beautiful calligraphy on precious parchment, everything priceless and perfectly placed.

That was probably just me being into her, though.

I wonder if she’d just had enough to drink that she felt like sharing things. I’d still take it. “And you’re still too shy to hold eye contact with a girl and start blurting out about the things you want to put in her mouth—”

“Lucy.” She waved me off, looking pointedly away. “Masters.”

She was absolutely slipping with that Lucy more lately. I sidled closer to her side, putting a hand on her lower back. “So, what’s your type?”

“Ew,” she laughed. “Why are you asking something like that?”

“Wondering if it’s self-assured bossy blondes who like to give you a hard time.”

“Everything that’s the exact opposite of that,” she said, smiling to herself as she sipped her wine. “I love a small, nervous brunette who’s too shy to say what’s on her mind. Not a blonde. Cannot stand blondes.”

“And you made an exception for me. I’m touched.”

She turned to me with something I’d never seen before—a glimmer in her eyes that looked almost playfully fond, and a real smile on her lips, a little lopsided, and she pushed my hair out of my face. “Don’t take it for granted, gorgeous.”

I faltered, and I felt my face prickle, thoughts lost for a second, and she laughed, taking a step back.

“Cute when I get to see you flustered. You really can dish it out but can’t take it, huh?”

“You’d… I think you’d be surprised just how much I can take it, Anna, darling.”

“Hm. Don’t tempt me.”

I laid a finger under her chin, tilting my head and looking through my lashes at her, before I’d stopped to think through the implications of it. “Isn’t that what a girlfriend does, beautiful?”

She stopped, studying me, and my stomach fluttered at the sight of that gleam in her eyes again, before—

She slipped her hand to my cheek, and my heart stopped beating when she leaned in closer, closing her eyes and tilting her head to the side, and my mind shut down completely enough that the only thing left for me was my body reacting, eyes fluttering shut, tilting my head to meet her, and—

She stopped just shy of my lips, hovering there, before she laughed, softly, her breath tickling my lips. “You’re breathing so erratically.”

“What?” I opened my eyes to where she stayed just short of me, eyes cracked, that gleam in them again as she looked at me—challenging me.

“Now I’m starting to think you’re the one who hasn’t kissed a girl in some time… really that nervous just from being close to a woman, Masters?”

Not just a woman, from having the most beautiful and perfect being ever to exist hovering just inches from my lips. Yes, I was nervous. I think my heart had actually exploded and I was just running on fumes. “Do you want me to kiss you, Preston?”

“Just figured you’d be too scared to. You talk a big game.”

If we kissed here, I wasn’t making it out of this building alive. “You explicitly told me you don’t consent.”

A smile quirked on her lips. I could feel it this close—so close to Anna Preston’s lips that I could feel her movements. I was going to pass out. “And that’s the only reason.”

“It’s enough reason in of itself.”

“So if I changed my mind, you’d do it, huh?”

“Only one way to find out, Preston.”

She narrowed her eyes, smile still playing on her lips. “You’d really lower yourself to anything just to make a point. Or to keep up appearances? You don’t have scruples, huh?”

Lower myself? Lower myself? To kissing Anna Preston? “Scruples?” I said. “Sounds like a self-esteem issue on your part… are you such a bad kisser that you’d describe it as a punishment?”

She laughed. “You wouldn’t do it.”

“Only one way to find out.”

“Would you?”

“Only one way to find out.”

She smiled wider, eyes narrowed, studying. “Fine. You have my permission. What’s your move, Masters?”

My move? What would be my move if I was offered all the money in the world? If I was offered eternal paradise?

Eternal paradise was chump change. This was Anna Preston we were talking about.

“This,” I said, and I slipped my hand to the back of her neck, cradling her as I moved forward, closed the distance, shut my eyes, and the stars aligned, and this was that far-flung version of reality where I got to kiss Anna Preston.

She flinched when my lips met hers, making a surprised noise and curling her fingers into my hair on the side of my head, and for one breathless moment—lips quivering together, pressed firm together, sweet perfection but neither of us yielding—I thought the world would end.

But she softened her lips, and she kissed me back. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me, breathless from the tiniest sensation of her perfect, sweet lips moving across mine, and embarrassingly, my hand shook against the back of her neck.

It was just one fraction of a moment, one break in time that felt like it wasn’t supposed to exist, one mistaken stitch in the fabric of the universe, and she pulled away quickly, flustered, brows furrowed, looking at me oddly.

“You—you kissed me,” she said.

I did? Jesus Christ, I did. I couldn’t have a breakdown here. I’d have one later, looking at my lips in the mirror wondering if I’d imagined it. I shot her a smile, flicking my hair back. “You’re not nearly as bad as you made yourself out to be.”

“Why—did you just do that?”

I faltered. Was she—actually upset? I’d never really been sure, over all this time, if she hated me specifically or if she was just brusque—had never really been sure if she was flirting back—but this felt different. “What did you think would happen when you told me I’d never be able to pull it off, exactly?”

She narrowed her eyes, gaze flicking over me, past me, frantically around the room with its fifteen million lights. Seriously, what was with all the lights, anyway? “You really don’t stop at anything to screw with a person.”

She was actually upset. How the hell was she going to dare me to kiss her, give me permission to kiss her, and then get mad when I kissed her? Just because I was in love with her didn’t mean I couldn’t get upset too, and I felt a bubble of indignation rise up in my chest. I put on a dry smile, though, raising my eyebrow. “So, do I win this round?”

“Fuck off, Masters,” she said, spinning on her heel. “I’m going home. I drank too much. Don’t bother with the stupid fucking documents this time. Come back tomorrow if you want to beg me for them, I need a shower and some sleep.”

Seriously—ugh. I almost chased after her, taking a half step in her direction and stopping, squeezing my hands.

What a nightmare. I didn’t like winning our little competition if this was what it looked like.

I needed to go home, too. Grandma could do with a proper dinner. And I could do with someone to tell me a story she didn’t realize I’d heard a million times already.

“Oh—” Veronica’s voice broke me out of my spiral, and I looked back at where she walked past, looking after Anna. “Where’s she stomping off to in such a hurry? Did you scare her off?”

I took a long breath, and I gave her the most serene smile I could. “We’re just heading out to take our separate cars back to her place.”

She relaxed. “Oh, you’re ditching the party to go fuck. You could have just led with that.”

“If your mom asks, tell her we left for something else. Have fun with Kelcey.”

She saluted smartly. “Already did, under the table.”

“Fantastic. So glad I know that. See you, Veronica.”

One hell of a company party. And seriously, what was with all the damn string lights?

Whatever. I was leaving this damn place.