A Break in Communications

Chapter 9

Anna

We were five minutes in and my family liked Lucy better than they did me.

Mom had greeted us at the door, absolutely gushing over how beautiful a couple we were, and apparently Grandma wasn’t the only one creeping on us, because we were flush with people talking about how nice it was to meet her and what a nice couple we were, as if they knew anything about us. Grandma, of course, pretended like she hadn’t been spying on us in the courtyard, and to nobody’s great surprise, Veronica only showed up once there was food on the table.

We sat for breakfast, and I smiled politely and said nothing while everybody took turns talking to Lucy like she was divine salvation and I was just there.

Maybe it sucked that Lucy was charming. She was a master at letting somebody else talk about what they wanted to talk about, and she picked up talking about Mom’s cousin in the Netherlands and let her lead the way running her mouth like Mom always wanted. Took about two seconds for her to pick up on Dad’s obsession with college basketball, and we were off to the races with Lucy giving him space to recite every number and every name he had in his head, and when my cousin Josh talked about his video games, Lucy acted like it was the most interesting thing she’d ever heard. I knew the deal was sealed when Grandma asked her what she did in her free time, the food worn down to crumbs now and everyone nursing their coffees, and Lucy faked a little bashfulness.

“I don’t really have a lot of free time,” she said. “Between the office and looking after my grandmother, it’s hard to find time for much… but I’ve been wanting to get back to salsa lately. I used to take classes.”

I shot her a look, breaking character for a second. I would have suspected she was making it up to charm my grandmother, who always loved dance growing up, but I didn’t feel like even Lucy could have known that. “What? When did you do dancing?”

She laughed, giving me that bright-eyed smile she had down pat, and she brushed a lock of my hair back from my face. I felt myself prickle, flustered at the sudden touch, but she didn’t give me the chance to recover. “It’s been a while,” she said. “But being with you makes me want to dance again.”

Dammit—I think I blushed. Why? Why on earth I was blushing over Lucy Masters flirting with me—just because she was smooth, even though I hated to admit it, and I was lonely? I couldn’t think of anything more humiliating… I didn’t think I even wanted the promotion anymore, not now that it would only make me think about all of this.

But I wasn’t about to break character, so I laughed, furrowing my brows through a smile. “You are so smooth,” I said, and she batted her eyelashes.

“Only for you.”

She was so smug. I guess I was goaded, because I was desperate enough to put her on the back foot that I put a hand to her cheek, cradling her face, and I rested my forehead against hers, and I was rewarded with the small flinch, her expression changing just a fraction. “Never done dance before,” I whispered, “but I’d gladly do anything with you.”

She opened her mouth, closed it again, and she put on a smile, but it faltered. Flustered—a little pink in her cheeks. “Name a time and place,” she said, finally, trying to regain some of her momentum, and I guess I just wanted to shut that down, because I laughed, and before I knew it, I’d kissed her—just a quick peck on the corner of her lips, and I had my reward, because she swallowed, eyes wide.

“We’ll talk about it later, darling,” I said, turning back to my coffee, and I cradled my hands around the cup while Grandma gushed about dance, and this time I was grateful for my family ignoring me, because I got to sit there in silence wondering what the hell I’d just done and why I was kissing Lucy Masters.

Again. Jesus, I’d already had her kiss me once before. What the hell was she doing to me?

She was just… I don’t know. It was satisfying to break her stride. Slipped out of me before I could think it through, and I’d just—go for it. I felt my lips tingle with awareness, but I wasn’t thinking about it.

After breakfast, Lucy the ever popular got kidnapped for conversation in the living room, despite protesting she could help with the dishes, and I excused myself to help in the kitchen, which seemed like a good way to get away from everything until I found Mom in the kitchen with me. Too late by then to get away—she cornered me while I was washing a baking tray, and she beamed.

“I’m really glad you brought Lucy around,” she said, and I worked on a response for a second while I scrubbed the dish in my hands, the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg still strong in the kitchen around me, tacky music still loud from the next room.

“I’m… really glad she could come.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you so happy with someone before,” she laughed, and I plastered a smile on tighter. I don’t think she really meant it that way, but the comment… well, it was true by default, because I’d never brought someone back to meet my parents before. Always felt like a weird crossing of wires, and a little too… serious.

Or maybe I’d just never really gotten close to someone before.

“She is… really good,” I said quietly, cleaning a plate slowly.

“I was about two seconds from introducing you to Nicholas Meyers again.”

I paused. “Nicholas Meyers? Isn’t he still in London?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh… you don’t know. He’s been back for three months now. Apparently things didn’t work out for him there.”

“Huh…” I went back to the sink, working slowly. “You really don’t need to set me up with people. I’m an adult.”

“Well, honey, you, um… I just figured we can all use a little help.”

That was tactful… I could hear the you’ve been sad and alone for years and you haven’t been putting in any effort unspoken in her voice, but she went the polite route.

Nicholas Meyers was probably the last time I’d gotten serious with someone, back when I’d been with my last firm. The son of someone my grandfather worked with, he’d come around with flowers and cards and sweet gestures, and I’d had fun, felt something in it all. Took a piece of my heart with him when he accepted a job offer in London, and I’d spent a good six months pining over him, wishing he’d come back and sweep me up again.

But that was years ago. Didn’t inspire a thing in me now, just this antsy unease, Lucy the only thing to mind now. There was no way I was letting my dating life center around Lucy Masters. I needed to do something…

Only after this, though. I smiled at her, setting a dish in the rack, and I said, “I was holding out for the right person. And I think I’ve found her.”

She looked like she would burst on the spot, smiling brilliantly. “You know, I think you have,” she laughed. “Found someone closer than you’d have thought.”

“Ha… yeah. I guess I’m not surprised I’d date someone from the office.”

“Only place to find someone as serious as you.”

“Lucy’s good at her job,” I laughed. “I guess that’s attractive. You spend enough time dealing with people who aren’t good at what they do, and when someone competent comes along…”

She shook her head, laughing. “Only you would call that a love story, Veronica.”

“Wrong daughter, Mom.”

“Anna.” She waved me off. “You’re not going to disappear on us again after the holidays, are you, sweetheart? I’ll forget your name less if you’re around more.”

“Oh, I see. Threatening me with parental neglect. Well,” I said, waving a dish at her, “I have a very attentive girlfriend now, so I’m immune to your threats.”

“ Attentive, disciplined, skillful, ” she muttered, shaking her head with a dry smile. “I’d think you’re describing a good job candidate, not an ideal girlfriend.”

“You know how I am, Mom. I’m sure you’ll get something better from Veronica at some point. For me, I want a woman who’s good at what she does, and you already knew I’d do that.”

And I heard the worst thing I could, which was Lucy’s voice from behind me, before she bumped into me from behind, wrapping her arms around me in a bear hug. “You’ll be happy to know I find your competency attractive, too, dear,” she said, her voice soft in my ear, and it gave me a shudder. I felt like I’d melt on the spot, slosh down the drain and be gone from this world—the thought of Lucy overhearing me talking about how amazing she was and how attractive it all was—I wanted to crawl under the sink and disappear there like some sad Christmas goblin.

Instead, though, I laughed, turning and resting my forehead against hers, where she leaned over my shoulder. “Babe—how long were you there eavesdropping on me?”

“Your mother tried to tell you I was closer than you’d think.”

Son of a bitch. Since when was my mother clever? And Lucy lurking like some kind of creeper—

Whatever. This creeper was my girlfriend right now. My heart beat faster with the nervous situation, and part of me wandered off to that same thought about what her grandmother had said… whether she actually felt that way about me and that was why she got embarrassed when I reciprocated, and I was so caught up in the thought of reciprocation that, before I knew what I was doing, I’d pecked her on the cheek.

She was so—soft. Perfectly silky smooth. It wasn’t really fair. Not when I was thinking about how badly I wanted an actual girlfriend. Maybe the reason Nicholas Meyers didn’t stir anything for me now was because I was just leaning so much more towards women these days…

“Next time you want compliments, you can just show up and talk to me normally,” I laughed, “instead of just creeping in the background?”

She grinned at me, flashing white teeth against her dark red lipstick, and my stomach dropped when she kissed me—pressed a quick kiss against the corner of my lips, and part of me wondered what the hell she thought gave her the authority, except that—well—I’d been doing it just as much to her. More, actually. “You’re so stingy with compliments normally…”

Mom was giving us a little space, politely pretending to be busy drying the dishes and putting them away, but I knew she was just about dying over this display, and I couldn’t really let the comment slide with her watching, so I turned around to face Lucy properly. Didn’t really think it through, though—turned around with my back to the sink, and it ended with Lucy pinning me to the counter, her hands on the counter on my either side, pressing up against my front. And my body reacted to an attractive woman pinning me against the counter, even if it was Lucy.

I really needed a girlfriend. It was going to be hard being so emotionally constipated, though, so… I guess… all the better for me if I got to practice these mushy things with Lucy right now anyway.

“Should have just said so,” I said, putting my hands up to cradle Lucy’s face. “Let’s see. How perfectly beautiful you are, how you always seem to have just the right thing to say—”

“Okay, now I’m getting embarrassed,” Lucy laughed, looking down.

“Oh—” Mom put a plate in the cabinet, setting her drying cloth down. “Hold on, I just remembered I need to ask your uncle Matt about something—I’ll be back in a bit. Or a while, it depends on… I’ll be back,” she said, walking out of the room a little too quickly, letting the swing door to the dining room drift closed again. Lucy watched her go, and I felt myself laugh drily.

“She’s subtle.”

“Didn’t expect her to actually give us space,” she said. “She acts like a fangirl seeing her favorite celebrity couple together…”

“My mother has about the same emotional maturity level as Veronica. Of course, so does my father. Who is now forever going to be disappointed with me that I don’t show as much interest in his basketball games as you do…”

She smiled wider, still pinning me up to the counter… I’d kind of expected her to step back. The proximity, the contact of her hips and mine, her face so close to mine… I was having a hard time sorting thoughts in my head. “Fair’s fair,” she said. “My family loves you, your family loves me.”

“Your family told me I’m an ugly loser.”

“I told you, Grandma’s obsessed. She just acts like that. She’s going to ask me when we’re getting married as soon as I get back, tell me to get on it…”

I swallowed. Why was she still standing so close to me? Still looking at me like that? Ugh… “Did you come in here for a reason, or just to grab me randomly?”

She smiled wider. “I came in here for something, but for right now, I’m just enjoying how flustered you are.”

“I’m not flustered,” I said, knowing it was a bad lie. She laughed, gesturing to her face.

“All of this is red. You have a cute blush.”

“Ugh—” I ducked my head. “Tell me what you’re here for.”

“To see you nervous.” She put a hand on my hip, and it shot something through me—I put my hand on hers in an instant, like I was trying to pull her away, but I couldn’t. Holding onto me too tightly. Which was funny, because she wasn’t holding on at all, just resting it there and I just couldn’t… I slipped my fingers around the edge of her hand, but I couldn’t figure out how to pull her away. “It’s cute when you’re embarrassed, Anna.”

“I… I haven’t had a lot of physical… human… contact lately. I guess you win,” I said. “I haven’t.”

“Me neither,” she said, smiling wider. “I’m also nervous right now.”

What was that even supposed to mean? I couldn’t figure out words right now. “You don’t ever seem nervous,” I mumbled. She laughed.

“That lack of emotional availability, I guess? I’m working on opening up.”

“Zero emotional availability and you still got my whole family falling for you.”

She beamed. “Calling me charming, sweetheart?”

“Asking for more compliments, sweetheart?”

She laughed, eyes twinkling. “You’re right, it’s only fair I start to give you some, too. Let’s see—”

“We don’t need to go there—” I was blushing even worse now. She went there anyway.

“Do people tell you very often that you have a beautiful voice?”

Was that—a real compliment? That was too specific to be something just to throw me off. “What?”

“It’s such a unique vocal register. Warm, a little dark, deep but unmistakably feminine. And when you speak, it’s always in this sharp, precise way like you’re just saying what you need to and not trying to get anybody to like you… ironically, it’s captivating.”

Was it? I’d never really… thought about my voice. Why was I getting shy, blushing like this, like a nervous teenager? “So what you’re saying is that you like it when I yell at you.”

She laughed, moving her face in closer to mine, and it made something pitch inside my system, this nervous rush even as she didn’t touch me, just—closer. Too close. “What don’t I like about you, Anna?”

Ugh… why was I spinning so much, swimming in this nervous sensation? Whatever it was she’d done to me, I didn’t know how to counteract it, to—get the upper hand, unless—the only thing I’d found to really work was—

I kissed her. Again. Leaned in and pressed my lips up to hers, firmly, capturing her in a kiss, my hand slipping to the back of her head, and she made a muffled sound against me, her body tensing up—I felt her hand on my hip tighten, fingertips gripping into me, and my whole body reacted with it, leaning into her, pulling her tighter against me. I moved my lips against her slowly, once, tilted my head to meet her at a different angle, kissed again, and I pulled back to where she was absolutely, beautifully stunned, that smug smile gone from her lips, eyes wide, blinking fast.

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed, Lucy,” I said, and taking the high, I slipped out from between her and the counter, leaning against the next counter instead, kicking one foot up over the other. “Now, do you want to tell me what you actually came in here for?”

She looked down, scratched the back of her head, touched her lips. “I just wanted to get away from the music.”

I snorted. “You know, fair enough. Do you need a minute here alone or something?”

She laughed, a short thing, but she wouldn’t look at me. Poor thing. She really was cute when she got flustered. “I’m good.”

“You sure, sweetheart?”

“You know?” She put her hands up. “No, I’m not sure, thanks for asking. I’ll stay here a minute. Maybe I’ll finish these dishes.”

Oh—I’d kind of forgotten the dishes. “Well, we can’t have a guest clean the kitchen. Shall I stay and help you with them?”

She turned to the sink, starting on the dishes. “Maybe… you can bring some drinks out to the living room for everyone.”

“Aw. You’re so cute when you’re nervous, babe.” I turned to the coffee station, a sleek espresso machine that was normally the highlight of going back to the family house but was a little bit forgettable right now. “Feel free to come out whenever you like, then. I’ll be thinking of you.”