A Break in Communications

Chapter 12

Anna

I woke up early in the morning, still dark outside the thick windows clouded with frost, snowflakes drifting down outside in the low light of the Christmas candle in the window. The bed felt unfamiliar under me, even though I’d grown up in this room—the thick bedsheets a little coarse and heavy on top of me—and also, the only thing I was wearing was my underwear. And Lucy Masters, stirring slightly in bed next to me, was barely wearing any more, a thin t-shirt and slim panties.

My stomach dropped, a nervous sensation hitting me all at once, memories flooding in and coursing through my body. Lucy making me her own. Even after we’d finished and cleaned up, I’d practically been worshiping her, cuddling and kissing until we fell asleep.

Seriously? Lucy? How was it so utterly insane that I would sleep with Lucy Masters and yet—at the same time—now that I was here, it was just yeah, of course it’s her. Nobody else who got under my skin like she did.

My heart was pounding as Lucy stirred more, turning to face me, a little bit of smudged mascara still there on her eyelids, hair a frizzy mess, and she brushed back a tangle of hair from her face to look at me. “Mm… good morning.”

“Good—good morning.” I was almost completely naked in front of Lucy. She’d come on my face last night. What were you supposed to say to someone after something like that? “Um… what… time is it?”

“Mm.” She rolled over, picking up her phone from the nightstand. “Six thirty. Do you need more sleep?”

“No, I, uh…” I was completely awake the instant I realized I’m naked in bed with you. “I think I’m… up.”

“Morning.” She rolled back to face me, and my heart jolted when she traced her fingertips along my face, caressing softly. She—wanted me. And I think—not just physically. That wasn’t part of the plan. I didn’t know what to do with it. I wasn’t in love with Lucy Masters. “I need to go to the bathroom… there’s nothing weird with the bathroom in the morning here I should be aware of, is there?”

“Only… only that the toilet flush is so loud it sounds like a dying animal in the middle of the night.”

“Ah. Same thing in Grandma’s house. I think I know the drill.” She pressed a kiss to my forehead before she stood up, and it left me fuzzy, butterflies in my stomach, swirling and swooping, and I blushed as I watched her gloriously pantsless, getting dressed and heading out of the room.

Thankfully, it gave me the minute I needed to collect myself, to sort out the chaos in my head. I’d slept with Lucy. And it was the best sex I’d ever had, and honestly, even with everything, I wanted to do it again. I’d come so quickly both times last night that it felt like I’d barely gotten to do anything, and despite my mind telling me we needed to pull back and abort mission as fast as possible, my body desperately wanted to see if I could start something with her when she got back… what she’d do if she got back to the room to find me with my underwear off playing with myself, spread out on the bed waiting for her…

Okay—I was more desperate than I’d realized. It didn’t help that Lucy was hot and better in bed than I could have ever imagined. But I wasn’t dating Lucy Masters. Not in a million years. I just… was… sexually frustrated, and she wanted me, and she was good at it. So it had happened. It only had to be weird if I made it weird.

God, she’d really made me beg last night. That had to be at least a little weird.

I got up, a little wobbly, and I opened my bag to get a change of clothes—just a casual sweater and pants for today. Was dressing up or dressing down more of a problem around Lucy at this point?

I was on my phone just looking for distraction when she got back into the room, slipping in quietly and shutting the door behind her, and she smiled sweetly at me. My heart ached, hard. I didn’t want to… I mean, it felt weird to think it, but I didn’t want to hurt her. Not really. Just wanted to get her off my case. Just because she annoyed me and got under my skin didn’t mean she was a bad person, I guess, and I didn’t want to hurt her, but knowing now how she felt about me…

“That’s a shame,” she said lightly, stepping around the bed to settle back in next to me, huddling in the blankets against the cold air of the room. “I liked the look you had going on.”

“While it’s this cold in here? I don’t want my breasts freezing off.”

She smiled flawlessly. “Do you want something to warm you up?”

“Uh—” Yes please. Yes, please, yes please, yes please was the only thing in my mind. I blushed, blanking, and she smiled wider.

“I’m talking about coffee.”

“Oh—” I burned. “I’m—”

“But I mean, if you want…” She slipped a hand to my waist, and I whimpered, my inhibitions crackling down, resolve fading. What could really be the harm in just a little more…? If we’d already done it once last night, then just one more… enjoy it one more time…

I bit my lip. Lucy stopped, her fingers pausing at the band of my pants, looking at me with her brows furrowed.

“You okay? I’m only going to do anything if you actually want it, you know.”

“I-I know. I just…” I slumped back against the pillow, raking my hair back. “God—I’m sorry. Just a minute. Lucy—do you have feelings for me?”

“Of course.”

“Of—” I bristled, turning on her. “What do you mean, of course? ”

She gave me an odd smile, settling onto her side in the bed next to me, propped up on her elbow. “I’ve been flirting with you since I found out you were bisexual.”

“What?” I scrunched up my face. “That was a year and a half ago.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“How—in what world has that been flirting? You just pick fights with me—”

“By calling you darling, pretty angel, sweetheart, gorgeous, batting my eyelashes at you, making comments about how you’re the best part of every day… backing you up against the wall, pinning you against things to look you in the eye… inviting you to sit on my lap?”

Jesus Christ. Was I an actual fucking idiot?

I burned, sitting there blank-faced, and Lucy laughed, furrowing her brow. “Honestly, you’ve kind of been doing the same thing, so I wasn’t sure if you were flirting back until your whole thing where you assumed I had a husband…”

Oh. That was why she looked at me like I was a moron when I said that. Because I fucking was.

Jesus Christ. “All that time?”

“Psh.” She flopped onto her back, looking up at the ceiling, that same light fixture I’d grown up looking at. “Sometimes someone just comes along who ticks all the boxes for you, and you’re helpless as soon as you meet them.”

She remembered the exact date I’d transferred into her office. And she’d kept joking about it being love at first sight… son of a bitch, she wasn’t joking.

“You… never wanted to just say?” I mumbled, looking away. “You know, hey, I think you’re cute, do you want to grab coffee? ”

“I’ve invited you for coffee a million times.”

“Not as a joke or a—” I stopped myself, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Ah, fuck.”

“They weren’t jokes.”

“Oh my god, Lucy.” I groaned, massaging my temples. “I… Jesus Christ. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I… am… sorry.”

She laughed, turning back to her side to face me again, a glint in her eyes. “No need to apologize. You just focus on your work a lot and don’t notice personal things… plus, I’m not the most emotionally vulnerable, so it’s not like my comments all coming off like they could be jokes was an accident.”

“So… you’re…” The words felt strange, awkward in my throat. “I mean, you’re actually, you know—you—like me, and everything.” Why did I sound like I’d just stepped out of an awkward teen movie? I was so fucking bad at this.

“It was love at first sight,” she said lightly, but—I guess—telling the truth. Jesus. I guess she always had been.

“So—” I turned to face her too, my breath catching a little seeing her in the low light like this. I didn’t want to be with Lucy Masters, but—even I had to admit she was gorgeous, and it wasn’t like it didn’t do something for me knowing someone equal parts stunning and capable was head-over-heels for me. Lucy, though? Seriously? I pulled my thoughts back in line. “So, what’s your actual ploy in all this?”

“To spend time with you.”

Jesus Christ, she’d even said that upfront. What the hell was wrong with me? I shifted awkwardly. “Do you—do you even care about the promotion?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Of course. I intend to beat you to it. Just because I have feelings for you doesn’t mean I’ll just step back and let you walk all over me, you know.”

“Enough to be willing to follow me home, lift things off my computer…”

“Tit for tat, darling.”

Darling felt a little different now. I wish I could have told her to stop. I guess it was… good for my ego. I looked away. “I thought you were in this whole Christmas family gathering thing trying to… insinuate yourself closer to people around Gould, and…”

“I think it would be infinitely more effective to just spend the weekend sucking up to the G&S accountholders. I just thought this would be fun.”

I slumped onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, and I groaned, rubbing my forehead. “God, I’m a fucking idiot.”

She sighed, settling onto her back next to me. “So… I take it you don’t feel the same way.”

“Well—not—no. I mean, not really. Not…” I scratched my head. That should have been a softball question. Why did I feel anxious about saying no? When I thought about being in a relationship with Lucy Masters, half of me wanted to retch. Half thought about… well. Various things.

“Not what?”

I blushed—it came on out of nowhere, hitting me with nuclear force, and my face burned hot. I looked away. “Uh… I don’t know.”

“Do you regret last night?”

That also should have been a softball question. Actually, I guess it was, just in the other direction. “Uh. No.” I put a hand over my face, busily watching snowfall outside the window. “Um… I guess it’s just that. You’re very attractive. And, uh—” I cleared my throat. “Well, you’re good—you know.”

“Good in bed?”

“Ah.” She sounded too happy about that. We were moving on. “I’m not looking to date you. But I don’t—I mean, I enjoyed… last night. I’m plenty… physically… attracted, I guess, but that’s all it is. Uh… sorry.”

“Hey, I’ll take what I can get,” she laughed, a small, soft sound, looking over at me with that twinkle in her eyes—both impossibly fond and distantly sad all at once. God, this girl actually seriously liked me. Where did she get off like that?

On my mouth. I… pushed the thought aside.

“I mean, if you want to just have something physical,” she said, a smile playing on one corner of her lips, and I got a shudder, heat pooling in my core. I could… just get into something physical with her, do that as much as we liked… maybe even starting right now, and she could climb on top of me, mount me in bed—

“I don’t—think—that’s a good idea,” I said, forcing words together in a way I think made sense. I put a hand over my mouth, trying to hide the blush. I don’t think it worked. “I mean… it wouldn’t really be that fair to you… and it’s just going to make feelings complicated…”

“Don’t think I’d find it too unfair to me.”

God, I wanted her. It was really getting in the way of a serious conversation where I knew what I needed to say. The rational, sensible part of my brain was warring with the part that wanted her to suck my nipples again. All I had to do was ask, apparently…

I shook my head. “I think it’s best to be clear with these things,” I blurted. “Unambiguous and direct. I don’t want to give you just… half of what you want and leave you there.”

“Hm.” She pursed her lips, looking away. “Well, if you feel that’s what’s best, then I guess that’s what we need to do. But just for the record—I’ve enjoyed this a lot.”

No please I take it back just one more time, please. Seriously—I swear I wasn’t normally this horny and desperate. No clue what happened to me, but I wanted to reset to factory default settings. “Right… uh. I mean, I have, too. Just…”

“Just in that you enjoyed being a good girl for me.”

I was halfway through sitting up, and I lost it, flopping onto my back with an arm slung over my face. “Jesus Christ, Lucy. We’re not invoking that.”

I could feel her smile even without looking. “You didn’t enjoy it?”

“No—it’s not that—oh my god.” I tossed a pillow at her face, standing up in a huff that broke out into the worst-timed laughter ever. “I don’t even know what to do with you, Lucy. I’m gonna take a shower.”

“I’ll go after you. Have a good shower. Whatever that looks like for you.”

I almost tripped on my way to the door. My face burned, but it wasn’t like I could call her out for it. Plausible deniability was a bitch. I cleared my throat, stopping at the door. “Um…” I glanced back at her, spread out perfectly in my bed. Why was it Lucy? I hated every bit of it. “Thanks for, you know, uh… well, sorry for me being a little… slow… to the party.”

She smiled wider. “You go at whatever pace you need, Anna.”

I was not getting turned on. Was not thinking about whatever other things she had in mind. “Guess you’re, uh —making good progress with that, you know, emotional availability.”

“Psh. Don’t give me too much credit. We only got here because you kissed me and begged me to fuck you.”

I stopped at the door, hand on the handle, taking a long breath, before I turned back and gave her the sweetest smile I could manage. “And you made sure I knew just how wet you got, so we all know you were excited too.”

I satisfied myself with the glint in her eyes, lighting up at the challenge, and I refused to back down, meeting her eyes and holding it there until she said, “Not the only time it’s happened with you in mind, princess.”

Dammit—that was hot. I relaxed back against the door. “Oh, I believe it. I’ll let you think about it some more, darling.”

“I will. Feel free to take a long shower.”

Jesus Christ. I was going to take a long shower. Long enough for me too. I pulled open the door, stepping out into the hall, and I looked back long enough to say, “I think I just might. Have fun, gorgeous.”

I probably shouldn’t have been… did this count as leading her on? Giving her crumbs? But I couldn’t help the exhilarated rush and the sense of power I got knowing Lucy would be spread out in my bed, hands on her own body thinking about me… or the fact that it was a turn-on. If she weren’t Lucy Masters, I’d have been there spending such a long, satisfying morning with her…

“So, a good night,” Veronica’s voice said from behind me as I turned back into the hall, and I jumped, banging my elbow on the wall, pain lancing up through my arm.

“Ah—fuck me—”

“Sounds like she got it taken care of,” Veronica said through a yawn, trudging down the hall. “Did you seriously go again in the morning? After how hard you were going last night?”

Son of a bitch, Veronica’s room was next to mine. I’d been so, uh… in the… zone, last night, that I hadn’t thought about the logistics. And Lucy could only do so much to keep me quiet. I took a long breath, letting it out slowly, and I gave Veronica the most patronizing smile I could. “Veronica, you have to understand me when I tell you that there is nothing I want to do less than talk to my own sister about my sex life.”

She snorted. “Don’t have to talk about it, I already heard all the details. Ah, whatever, I guess I get it. Kelcey said you two only actually got together the other day, so I guess you’re still in the fucking-twice-a-day-every-day phase.”

I closed my eyes. “Please tell me that doesn’t mean you’re still talking to Kelcey.”

“Nah, we just got to talking about lots of stuff in between rounds. You know how it is between girls.”

“Right. Spoken like a true straight woman.”

“I probably should message her at some point… I accidentally packed the panties I took from her and now I’ve just got them sitting in my bag.”

“Veronica—”

“I mean, it was a fun thing in the moment, like, you know, I’ll keep your panties and you go home without underwear like a good dirty little girl— ”

“ Veronica —”

“What?” She gestured to my bedroom. “You were doing the same stuff with Lucy last night—”

“I’m taking a fucking shower now, please do not talk to me any further—”

“Can you give me her number? I only realized yesterday that it’s, like, nice silk underwear and I should probably return it, they seem expensive.”

I looked up at the ceiling, focusing on one point there just for a way to keep myself from losing my damn mind. “Kelcey’s family is kind of stupid rich. I think she’ll be fine without one pair of silk underwear.”

“Oh, really? Maybe I should go fuck her again, see if she buys me a fancy dinner or something…”

“I’m going to take a shower now. Goodbye, Veronica. Have a nice morning.” I turned and pushed into the bathroom before she could say another word, shutting the door behind me, and I sank back against it, clutching my bundle of underwear and a towel and my phone close to my chest.

Mom really could have stopped at one kid.

I had a text when I checked my phone—not from Kelcey this time, thank god, but from Lucy.

you and Vern having fun?

God, I hoped Lucy was the only one who could hear that conversation. I didn’t need the whole family knowing about Lucy topping me or Veronica topping my coworker. I tossed my underwear bundle onto the counter by the sink, turning on the shower and shimmying out of my clothes as I texted back, Veronica was having fun enough for both of us, and then, possessed by something I didn’t know what, aren’t you supposed to be busy right now?

while I was listening to you argue with your sister?

I leaned back against the cool tile wall, feeling the steam starting to rise from the shower, slick over my bare skin. Wondering what state Lucy was in on the other side of the wall… well, obstacles are out of the way now, lucky you

oh, I know, she sent, and then right after, currently feeling very lucky.

I bit my lip, hard. I wasn’t supposed to get this turned on by the thought of Lucy touching herself… thinking about me… have fun, Masters was the text I managed after a minute, and she took a second to reply, for such a short message.

I definitely am, and then a heart emoji. I felt stirring between my own legs, and I bit my lip, letting my fingertips drift down my front, over the front of my thigh, when another text came in. and you too, Preston

Was I that obvious? I didn’t even care anymore. I slipped my hand between my legs, sinking back against the wall with a heavy sigh, and I texted back, I’ll let you imagine it

Trust me, I am, and then, especially if you’re going to keep giving me updates…

I was not sexting with Lucy. I was not sexting with Lucy. any kind of update in particular you’re thinking? like, shower temperature, how fogged-up the air is…?

She replied at lightning speed. exactly, and then, the shower temperature, and, let me know how it’s heating up, how close it’s getting to the perfect temperature, how good it feels when it’s almost there, and once it finally gets there

I swallowed, hard, heat prickling through my body. Took me a minute to type out a reply. it’s already pretty warm, honestly

same on my side, she sent, and then, after a pause, under the blankets, of course.

God dammit. I stepped into the shower, gripping my phone tightly, keeping it out of the water enough to keep texting.

It wasn’t going to take long for the water to get up to temperature.