A Brooding Christmas Promise (Christmas Matches of Worth #2)

Chapter Eight

“I am truly sorry for what you had to endure.”

Samuel stiffened but forced himself to smile. “You are very kind, Lady Dalmyre.”

The lady smiled gently and put her hand to his arm for a moment. “You must remember that there are many other young ladies present who would be more than willing to consider you. Not everyone would behave as terribly as Lady Maria did, I can promise you that!” With that remark, she sent a long look towards her daughter who was standing next to her, a light smile on her face – and Samuel’s stomach dropped.

He cleared his throat. “I should never want to suggest that all ladies are of that ilk, of course. However, I am not yet considering matrimony again, I am afraid.”

The smiles on both of the ladies’ faces fell.

“I am here merely to enjoy some time in good company over the Christmas period,” Samuel continued, inclining his head. “Now, do excuse me. I am to dance very soon and must go in search of my partner!”

It was not at all true that he was to dance, for he only wanted an excuse to step away from the lady who was clearly attempting to push her daughter into his acquaintance. With a nod of his head – and as a rush of relief washed over him – Samuel made his way to the side of the ballroom, only to catch sight of none other than Miss Millerton.

He paused for a moment, taking her in. She was standing with her hands clasped in front of her and the edge of her lip caught between her teeth. Samuel smiled and came closer to her, delighted to see the smile which spread across her face when she caught his eye.

“Miss Millerton, good evening.” Samuel bowed quickly. “Are you enjoying your evening?”

“I am, yes. Though I confess that I am not as confident as I thought I would be.”

Samuel tipped his head just a little, searching her face. “You are concerned about Lady Foster?”

Miss Millerton nodded, though she looked away, perhaps a little embarrassed. “I do not want to be. I told myself that I would be determined and bold and that I would show her that her presence did not concern me… but now I find myself worrying that she will be present.”

“Then should you like to dance?” Samuel found himself saying, a little surprised that he had offered such a thing. “Or we can take a turn about the room?”

Miss Millerton smiled. “I should like to dance very much though…” A slight hint of color came into her cheeks. “Might I ask you something first?”

“Of course.”

The color in her cheeks heightened all the more. “My sister informs me – and pray, do not think that we were gossiping – that you have no interest in matrimony.”

Samuel blinked, rather astonished at the lady’s remarks.

“Forgive me for being so blunt and indeed, I do not wish to know your reasons for such a thing, but I must know if this is true. You are only interested in friendship? You will not seek to pursue anything more?”

Clearing his throat and finding a tightness in his chest which had not been there before, Samuel spread out his hands. “Yes, that is so.”

Something like relief spread across Miss Millerton’s face. “Then I should be glad to dance with you.”

A little confused, Samuel frowned. “Might I ask why you needed to know such a thing?”

The lady ducked her head for a moment, a flush in her cheeks. “If you recall from our conversation, I have made a commitment to remain companion to my stepmother. I wanted to ascertain that you were also as I am – that is, not searching for any sort of… intimate connection.”

Those words sent a shot of fire up Samuel’s spine, though he quickly smiled and nodded, spreading out his hands either side. “It is just as your sister has said, I am not in the least bit interested in forming any sort of attachment. I would, however, be more than happy to be your friend.”

This made a bright smile spread right across Miss Millerton’s face and Samuel’s heart leapt, making him frown suddenly. Seeing this, Miss Millerton’s smile fell away but Samuel turned and then offered her his arm, forcing a more composed expression to his face. “Shall we dance, then?”

“I would be glad to. Thank you,” she murmured, taking his arm as he led her to the floor. The quadrille had only just been announced and, as Samuel made his way to join the other dancers, he caught Lady Dalmyre’s eye and offered her a brief nod, relieved that he was now proving to her that his reason for stepping away from herself and her daughter was, truly, so that he might dance. That strange jolt of fire in his frame and the leap of his heart, however, was not something that he could understand and it was with some relief that he stepped back, ready to bow before the quadrille began. It gave him a moment or two to gather himself and, telling himself silently not to be as ridiculous as to permit strange thoughts to take a hold, Samuel lifted his chin and, as the music began, stepped forward.

The music seemed to calm his mind all the more and, though they said nothing during the dance, Samuel found himself beginning to relax despite the tempo of the dance itself. When Miss Millerton smiled up at him, Samuel returned it at once, glad that she was enjoying his company as much as he was hers. They were barely acquainted, he considered, but all the same, there appeared to be an easiness within their connection which he was grateful for.

“A wonderful dance.” Miss Millerton, a little breathless, dropped into a curtsy as the dance came to a close. “Thank you, Lord Crestwood. My sister was encouraging me to dance a little more so I am grateful for the opportunity.”

“You dance very well.” He offered his arm again and she took it without hesitation. “I hope it has distracted your thoughts long enough to put you into a more pleasant frame of mind?”

She laughed and nodded. “It has indeed.”

“Then I am contented.” Samuel continued to wander around the ballroom, seeing the glances which were sent in his direction before being quickly pulled away again. He frowned, realizing that even his nearness to Miss Millerton might soon grant him some more whispers. “Though I am afraid that the ton might soon make some remarks, Miss Millerton.”

A glance up at him told Samuel that she did not understand what he meant.

“There might well be rumours and whispers,” he said, “given that I am unwed and you are also unattached.”

“Oh.” Miss Millerton frowned, only to shrug. “Well, I do not think that such a thing matters. You can continue to declare yourself determined to remain unattached and I shall say nothing. The ton can whisper all they like and it will do me no harm.”

A little surprised at her response, it took Samuel a moment to respond. “I – I see.”

“Though Lady Foster will, no doubt, be most concerned,” she continued, with a sigh. “However, I can do nothing about that. If she wishes to involve herself in such a way then what can be done about it?” The smile on her face lifted Samuel’s spirits all the more. “You see? I am quite determined to enjoy myself this Christmas time.”

Whether it was her tenacity or the beauty of her smile, Samuel did not know but regardless, his heart leapt up all over again, sending a broad smile across his face. “I am glad to hear it! We shall ignore the whispers, then. We shall do nothing about them, either by way of quietening them or encouraging them.”

“Precisely.”

Samuel smiled back at her. “Now, you must tell me what else you intend to do during your visit to London. Are you interested in the theatre? There are many plays being performed this time of year and though I have not been to one as yet, I have heard that there is a comedy being played which is excellent!”

“Oh, how wonderful!” Miss Millerton’s eyes lit up. “No, I have not thought to attend a play as yet but I should certainly like to. I do also hope to help my sister throw a ball very soon, the invitations are to come out tomorrow, I believe.” A look of curiosity came into her eyes. “You are to host a ball or some such event, I believe?”

Recalling that he had said to her that he intended to host various events, Samuel nodded without having any real idea as to what it could be. “I have every intention to, yes. Mayhap a soiree? Or a card party of some kind? Something where it could be a little more intimate and without too many guests. I confess that I find balls to be a little too crowded for my liking, though they are enjoyable enough.”

“I quite agree.”

Samuel found himself smiling, his heart feeling a good deal lighter as he walked with the lady. For the first time, he realized, he was at an occasion where he had not once thought about what had happened with Lady Maria. He had not given her a single thought. Instead, he had actually found himself enjoying the company and the conversation – and even the dance! How strange a thing that was.

“Crestwood?”

Someone called his name, a hand touched his arm and Samuel turned quickly, only for his breath to tighten and coil in his chest. He stepped back, his arm falling to his side, releasing Miss Millerton from him. A rush of heat tore from one side of his body to the other, leaving a sense of weakness lingering, his heart hammering, clawing at his chest.

“Maria.”

“Samuel.” She reached out one hand to him, only for her gaze to slide to Miss Millerton, then looking back to him again. “Forgive me, I… ” With a pause, she closed her eyes and then dropped into a curtsy. “Good evening, Lord Crestwood.”

The pain in his chest was screaming at him to breathe, to take in at least one breath so that he might respond but he could do nothing but stare, letting the pain linger. This was Maria as he knew her but she looked different, altered in some way. Samuel finally took in a breath, his whole body shuddering violently for a moment as he did so.

“Good evening,” he rasped, reaching to grasp Miss Millerton’s hand again, lifting it so it might settle on his arm. He did not know why he needed it, did not truly understand what he was doing but something in him told him that he needed her near. “I – do excuse us.” On trembling legs, he made to step away, only for Maria to move to the side, preventing him from leaving.

“Please, do let us talk for a moment,” she said, never once looking to Miss Millerton, seeming to choose now to ignore her. “I know that I am the last person you might wish to see but so much has happened, so much has changed and I – ”

“You perceive correctly, Lady Grifford,” Samuel interrupted, a little harshly. “Now, if you will excuse us, we are currently in the depths of conversation.”

“Grifford is dead.”

Samuel stopped short, his heart slamming hard against his ribs as he looked back into her face, seeing glistening tears in her eyes.

“I am not mourning for him,” she continued, lifting her chin just a little. “I have done a few months but that is all. I refuse to do more given how he treated me.”

Something stirred in Samuel’s heart but he refused to listen to it. “I am sorry to hear that your husband is dead,” he managed to say, seeing the way her eyes glistened though her expression softened as he spoke, perhaps seeing something more in his words than he meant to give. “You have returned to London for Christmas, I see. I do hope that you enjoy your time here back in society.”

“I did hope that we might speak. There is much that I wish to say.”

Samuel swallowed tightly, looking back into Maria’s face and becoming aware of the hope shining in her eyes. What was it she was expecting of him? A great and dreadful fear began to wind around his heart, suddenly afraid that she was expecting a rekindling of their affections, that she would see him as her saviour from the difficulties she was now experiencing.

Could it be that my heart would ever be willing to return to her again?

That frightened him all the more, dreading the thought of letting his emotions burn hot for the lady who had not only broken him apart but betrayed him in doing so. He was surely not as weak as that, was he?

“Forgive me, I have not introduced you to… Miss Millerton.” An idea struck him and before he could stop himself, he said the words that he knew would not only shock Miss Millerton but would also stun – and mayhap silence – Lady Grifford. “My betrothed.”

Miss Millerton did not even flinch. Instead, she went very still, her eyes fixed on Lady Grifford – for that was how he had to think of her now, not as Maria any longer. She did not speak, she did not even make a single sound and Samuel silently prayed that she would understand what he had said and why he had said it.

“Your betrothed?” Lady Grifford blinked and then turned to face Miss Millerton. “I did not know. But, then again, why should I know such a thing?” She tried to laugh but it came out as a broken, harsh sound. “How very good to meet you, Miss Millerton.” Her gaze went back to Samuel. “Might we meet for even a few minutes, just so that I might speak with you? There is much that I wish to say, much that I wish to apologise for.”

“It would not be seemly for me to be noticed by the ton in your company and your company alone,” Samuel stated, with a lift of his chin. “However, if you wish to speak with Miss Millerton and me, then we might arrange that at some point soon. Now, if you will excuse me, I must continue walking with Miss Millerton.”

Without another word to her, with only a nod, Samuel stepped away. Miss Millerton while walking with him, he realized, had not said a single thing either to himself or to Lady Grifford. As he glanced at her, Samuel saw the white in her face, the pinched expression and his gut twisted.

What had he done?