A Christmas Call of Duty (Sweet Christmas Kisses)

15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Shay

I pull into the shelter's parking lot during my lunch break to drop off a handful of gift cards donated from local businesses, and my heart skips a beat when I spot Colt's truck. Memories of our almost-romance come flooding back, and I can't help but wonder what might have been if things had gone differently on New Year's Eve.

Inside, Jayden greets me with his usual friendly smile. "Hey, Shay! Margo and Tyler are in a meeting right now. Want to have a seat and wait?"

I nod, settling into one of the worn waiting room chairs. As I fidget with the gift cards, my phone buzzes. It's a text from Harrison.

Passing through town in about an hour. Coffee?

Sure. Text me when you get here.

I stare at my message, feeling less enthusiastic about the prospect than I rightfully should, then hit send. Things with Harrison have been... okay. I guess. But I still haven't felt that spark people talk about when they meet someone extraordinary.

I'm lost in thought when I hear Colt's deep voice echoing down the hall. My heart flips in my chest. Did he just come out of Margo's office? And why does the sound of his voice still make my knees feel weak?

Aside from our fundraiser on New Year's Eve, I only saw him once last week when he stopped by to see Tyler, but it's not like we had time to play catch up. This last week, I had successfully managed to stay busy enough so there wasn't time to think about Colt and how much I missed having him around. But between setting aside time for phone calls with Harrison and my work at the clinic while Dr. Weber and his wife were away on vacation, I'm surprised I even had time to help with the shelter.

I'm sure Colt has been busy with his new assignment, as well. He's definitely been too busy to call, that's for sure. But I wonder what he could be meeting with Margo about. Tyler never mentioned anything to me about it. Before I can dwell on it anymore, Colt's eyes lock in on mine before I'm able to look away. Shoot! Now he's coming over. Ohhhh, be still my heart.

Colt strolls across the room, his casual "Hey, Shay" hitting me like a wave of conflicting emotions. Is he playing it cool because Tyler and Margo are within earshot, or does he share the same jumble of emotions I've been wrestling with since the night he kissed me? I force a smile, hoping it doesn't betray the butterflies in my stomach. "Hey," I manage, proud that my voice doesn't come out three octaves higher than it should. "You had a meeting with Margo?"

He gives a weary smile before sliding into the chair beside me and telling me about plans he has for something he's calling The Retired Heroes Project, and I'll admit, I'm hanging on every word when he explains the part about helping military work dogs transition when the military can't use them anymore. Then, he tells me how he had hoped the idea could somehow help the shelter.

"Wow," I say, blinking as I take it all in. "Colt, that sounds… amazing. But if you thought it might help the shelter, how come you never mentioned it before?"

"Because I'm not sure I ever really did." He leans forward in his chair and lets his head fall, resting both forearms on his thighs.

Seeing Colt down like this is more than I can bear, and I find myself instinctively running a hand over his shoulder to console him. And no, not because I want him to forget about everything we've been through, but because Colt is my friend. And I don't think my heart knows how to handle not seeing him smile. "I don't understand," I say.

When he lifts his head and our eyes meet, there's a pause, and that's when I feel it. The spark. It's the same one I felt the night we first met at the clinic, then again at the diner. I let my hand fall from his shoulder into my lap, and he discreetly reaches for it.

"I know how much this place means to everyone here. How much it means… to you ," he says, looking down at my hand as he traces circles over the back of it with his thumb. "And there's nothing I wouldn't do to help. But The Retired Heroes Project? It was never a viable solution."

"I'm sorry," I say, wishing I could think of anything else to offer him besides the obvious.

He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "It's okay. We still got another week, right?"

Colt and I spend a few more minutes talking about his new assignment as a Liaison Officer before my phone starts buzzing. I don't check the screen because I don't want to be rude, but I already know it's from Harrison.

Before I leave, Colt walks me out to my car, but he doesn't hug me. Instead, he brushes a warm hand over my cheek. Because, sure. That's not the lesser of two evils or anything. I'm sandwiched between him and my Prius when he starts to lean in, closing the distance between us. His lips are practically inches away from mine when he drops his hand and reaches around my waist.

Click.

I feel Colt's hand lift my driver's side door handle. I close my eyes and blow out a deep sigh as he carefully guides me to the side, opening my car door for me. Once I'm situated in the driver’s seat, Colt leans in again, this time reaching over me to buckle the latch on my seatbelt. The smell of his cologne is intoxicating, and I wonder if we're about to have a repeat of our night at the diner. But we don't, and knowing I'm about to leave to have coffee with another man makes me feel even worse about the fact that I wanted to.

"See you later?" he asks before closing my car door.

I nod, and as I drive away, I watch Colt's figure fade in the mirror while I rehearse my lines. Because no more than twenty minutes later, I'm sitting across the table from Harrison at my favorite coffee shop… breaking things off.

***

I swear, sometimes I don't know how I get myself into these messes. One minute I'm begging for a boyfriend, and the next I'm having to fight them off with a stick. Okay. So, maybe I’m not actually fighting anyone off with a stick. But two guys at once? I've never had to juggle two different men a day in my life. And let me tell you… I hope I never have to again because that —was rough.

I guess I should be glad that Harrison and I never got to the phase where we were kissing and holding hands. A part of me liked that he seemed more interested in getting to know me on an intellectual level. But at the end of the day, what woman doesn't need a little romance?

Speaking of romance, Colt's truck is still parked in front of the shelter when I drive by after finishing the rest of my shift at the clinic, but I'm not willing to pass on an invite to have some of Grandpa Mason's famous homemade pizza. Plus, all that coffee I drank today has me feeling a little jittery. No telling what kind of spaz I'd be around Colt without any solid food in my stomach.

When I pull up to Grandma and Grandpa Mason's house, all my bundled nerves relax in an instant.

"Is that you, Shay?" I hear Grandma call from the kitchen. "We're in here. Come join us!" I walk in just in time to see Grandpa pulling a hot pizza stone out of the oven, and my mouth begins to water when I smell the fresh basil and sausage.

"Hope you're hungry," Grandpa says, slicing into the piping hot pie with a pizza cutter.

We all gather around the tiny dining room table, and soon the room is buzzing with excitement when Grandpa Mason asks if I've found me a boyfriend yet. "Not exactly," I say, unsure how much I should tell them about my recent love triangle. "But…. I did meet someone."

"Oh?" Grandma Mason's eyes light up. "Well, tell us… what's his name?"

I blush, realizing neither of my grandparents ever heard me talk about the last few guys I dated. I didn't even tell them about Zane. "His name is Colt. Colt Ralston. I helped him with his dog at the clinic, and then we sort of ended up working together at the shelter."

"Sounds like a perfect match if he's volunteering with you. Any chance we'll get to meet him one of these days?" Grandpa says.

"Oh, I don't know about all that. See… Colt's in the military, and—"

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Grandma interrupts. "Here we go again with you and those military men, Shay. Honestly?"

"What?" My eyes shoot up to Grandma's and she meets them with an accusing look.

"Shay, you know your grandpa and I love you very much, and there's nothing we want more than to see you happy, but we all know every time you get involved with one of those boys you weasel your way out of it before things get serious.”

I blink hard, then scoff, pulling my shoulders back defensively. "I most certainly do not."

"You're grandma's right, Shay." Grandpa sets his slice of pizza back down on his plate and wipes his hands on a paper napkin. "You always go for these boys on base, then make a hundred different excuses for why things could never work out. Did you ever think that maybe you're the reason?"

I blink again, this time, trying to fight away whatever this lump in my throat tells me is coming next.

"Oh, sweetheart," Grandma says, reaching a hand across the table and covering mine. "What your grandpa is so poorly trying to say is that we know how hard it was growing up without your mother. And while we tried our best to raise you right, we've always noticed how you keep everyone around you at an arm's distance. You should never apologize for trying to protect your heart, but sometimes… when you put that many walls up, you block yourself from ever letting any of the good ones in. So, ask yourself. Is this Colt fellow one of the good ones?"

A silent tear falls from the corner of my eye. "I… think he is," I say, wiping at my cheek with the back of my hand.

"Well then trust that. Because if there's one thing I've learned from this old badger sitting across the table from us, it's that the only things in life worth truly regretting are the chances we never take. And for better or worse, not a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars I took a chance on your grandpa."

***

Trust that. Grandma Mason's words play on repeat in my head all day the next day until I'm exhausted by them. It's late in the evening and I'm back at my apartment working on a database for the shelter in my most comfortable flannel pajamas when I hear a knock at my door. It's almost 8:30, and I'm not expecting any company.

"Who is it?" I ask, hovering over my kitchen table as I wait for a reply.

When no one answers, my senses go on high alert, and I tiptoe into my room to retrieve the wooden Louisville Slugger baseball bat I keep hidden under my bed. Now would be an excellent time to talk management into investing in peepholes for all the doors. I hold the bat over my shoulder with one hand while I use the other to unlock the deadbolt. When I crack the door open, the chain stops it from swinging open all the way. "Colt?" I say, peeking through the opening. "What are you doing here?"

He muffles something unintelligible through the paper bag he's holding with his teeth. He looks ridiculous.

"Okay, okay. Just… hold on a second," I say, closing the door and sliding the chain to unlatch it. When I open the door, I see Colt's arms are filled with brown take-out bags from the Lucky Dragon, Snowberry Creek's only authentic Chinese restaurant. I take a step back and open the door wider, inviting him in, but when he sees my bat, he stops in the doorway with wide eyes. "What?" I say, pulling the bag from between his teeth. "I wasn't expecting company."

"Cute PJs," he says with an amused smirk. "Hungry? Tyler told me the crunchy noodles were your favorite."

Betrayed by one of my own. "Maybe." I shoot him a look. "You can put the bags on the counter. I was just working on a spreadsheet for the shelter."

The smell coming from the bags makes my mouth water. Good thing I really am hungry.

"Sorry to show up unannounced, but Tyler said you were working from home and asked me to drop off some donor info on my way back to base. I know you said you don't like to cook, so…." His eyes scan the bags on the counter.

"Yeah, thanks," I say, turning to pull a few plates from the cabinet so he doesn't notice my cheeks turning red.

"So, tell me. What's this spreadsheet you're working on?"

I go over the new database I've been working on building with Tyler that allows us to track all the organizations who've offered to help with funding for the shelter while Colt and I split a container of crunchy noodles and an order of spring rolls. Good thing I didn't skip leg day today.

When we've had enough, I get up and begin washing the pile of dishes in my sink. As I work, Colt tells me about the details of his new assignment, then continues to tell me about his decision to leave the Army when his current contract is up.

Guilt pools up in my stomach. I turn off the water and hang up my dish towel, but I can't even muster the nerve to turn and face him with what I'm about to say. "Look, Colt. About that…" I brace my hands on the ledge of the counter and stare down at my feet. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for giving you so much grief about your job. It's not fair that I put you in a box. You deserve better."

I hear Colt's footsteps on the tile behind me as his voice cuts through the silence. "Hey, look at me."

I turn, and once again, Colt and I are so close that I'm surprised he doesn’t pick up on my racing heartbeat. "I don't ever want to be the reason you lose sleep at night. But I can't help the way I feel about you, Shay. You… see me. And you're not afraid to tell me exactly what's on your mind. I'm a better person when I'm with you. And I guess… a part of me hopes you might feel the same way about me one day."

I look up into Colt's green eyes, only this time, I don't look away. "That's the thing. I think I already do."