A Christmas Call of Duty (Sweet Christmas Kisses)

17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Shay

I wake up, and it's the morning after Colt took the red-eye flight to D.C. for his training. Groaning, I roll over and grab my phone from the nightstand, hoping to see a message from him.

There are two.

Just landed in D.C. I miss you already.

Good morning girlfriend. Hope you slept well. Now get your cute butt out of bed and go seize the day. You've got this!

A smile tugs at my lips as I read his words. They remind me of the note he left on my car after our first night together at the clinic. Back then, I was so annoyed by what a sap he was. Now? Well… it's like I can't get enough of it.

Before rolling out of bed to start my day, I open the camera on my phone and snap a quick selfie to send with my reply.

Wish you were here to make me.

Once I'm up, I close my eyes and take a moment to stretch out my body, feeling the warmth spread all the way down to my toes. It's a stark contrast to the icy dread pooling in my stomach as I think about how crucial the next few days are for the shelter. We're running out of time, and I can't shake the feeling that we're also running out of options.

After a good sweat fest at the gym, I stop by The Java Hut for my daily dose of caffeine, and my olfactory nerves come to life as soon as I walk through the door. When those first heavenly scents of freshly ground coffee beans hit my nose, I feel like there's nothing me or my shaky legs can't handle. "The usual, Dr. Mason?" Jenna, the barista, asks with a friendly smile.

I nod, fishing out my wallet. "Thanks, Jenna. Slow morning?"

She shrugs, her eyes darting around to the empty tables. "Just one of those days, I guess."

As I wait for my latte, I find myself daydreaming about Colt and all the sweet kisses he'd be stealing if he were here right now. The thought of his lips pressed against mine is almost enough to make me sad knowing I'll have to wait four more days to feel them again.

Later at the shelter, I try to focus on Tyler's presentation as he outlines any last-minute fundraising strategies. But my eyes keep drifting to the empty chair at the end of the second row. Colt's chair. The sight of it sends pain rippling through my chest until I can almost see him sitting there, looking over his shoulder and flashing me that dimpled smile when he thinks no one else is looking.

It's silly, really. Not even twenty-four hours have gone by, and already I'm sitting here mourning like he's gone to war on the other side of the world instead of some plush conference room seven hours away. I shake my head, forcing myself to tune back into Tyler's words. Now is not the time to worry about all the things I can't control when the fate of the shelter is on the line.

I only have an hour before my shift starts at the clinic when he suggests we start another round of dialing for dollars. I slump back in my chair at a table set up for volunteers in the main area and rub my temples as I disconnect from another fruitless phone call. A part of me was hoping that the new database Colt helped me compile would somehow be our golden ticket, but right now it feels more like a list of people who are tired of hearing the shelter's sob story.

I reach for my phone again, this time letting my finger hover over Colt's name in my recent call history. I know he's probably in class right now, and I shouldn't bother him. So, I imagine his voice cheering me on instead. "Don't give up now," he'd say with sparkling green eyes. "You've got this. I believe in you."

I sigh and scroll to the next name on the list in our database. Just a few more calls, then I'll head to the clinic.

***

Just as I'm settling into a mile-high stack of paperwork at the clinic, my phone buzzes, and Colt's name flashes on the screen. My heart leaps. Eager to see his handsome face, I quickly answer the video call. "Hey there, beautiful," Colt's warm voice fills the air, and suddenly, my dreary day doesn't seem so bad.

"Hi," I breathe, drinking in the sight of him. Even though the pixelated screen, that dimple I love so much makes an appearance. "How's D.C.?"

"Busy," he chuckles. "But I'd rather hear about you. How's everything back home?"

I start to tell him about the shelter and my day, but the connection is awful. His image freezes, then jumps, and his words keep cutting in and out. "Colt? Can you hear me?" I ask, yelling into my phone like that's somehow going to fix the issue.

"Shay? You're breaking up—" His voice crackles before the call drops entirely, and I stare at the blank screen, a wave of longing washing over me. When I try calling him back, it goes straight to voicemail. I blow out a frustrated breath and lean back in my chair, wishing he was here. He'd probably perch on the edge of my desk with a mischievous glint in his eye while distracting me from my work. I miss him. The way his hand feels cradling my cheek. Or the way he leans in any time he wants to steal a kiss. It's enough to drive me crazy just thinking about it.

It's not just about missing Colt's physical presence, either. It's about missing the way he makes me feel. He always finds a way to make me smile, even when I'm at my grumpiest. And right now, with the shelter's future hanging in the balance, I could really use some of that Colt Ralston optimism.

A knock on my office door makes me jump, and I look up to see Gladys peeking her head in. "Dr. Mason? I'm heading out for lunch. Can I grab you anything?"

I force a smile. "No thanks, Gladys. I'm good."

She hesitates and furrows her brows. "Are you sure? You seem a little down today."

I sigh, slumping in my chair. "Is it that obvious?"

Gladys steps into my office, closing the door behind her. "Want to talk about it?"

"It's dumb," I say, feeling both weak and vulnerable as the words tumble out anyway. "I miss Colt. A lot."

Gladys's eyes soften. "Oh, honey. That's not dumb at all."

"Yeah, but it's only been a day," I protest weakly.

"And yet, I haven't seen you this happy in years," she says gently. "These past few days, you've been practically glowing."

I blink, feeling uncertain. "You think so?"

Gladys nods. "It's wonderful to see you putting yourself out there again. And this Colt, fellow… he seems like such a nice person. I think he's just the kind of man you need in your life."

As I process her words, I realize that maybe my feelings for Colt aren't supposed to make me feel vulnerable. If anything, maybe they exist to make me stronger, pushing me to be more open, and more alive.

The rest of the afternoon goes by faster than I expected, and before I know it, Dr. Weber is locking up for the day. With my body is crying for a hot shower, I pull my car keys out of my purse and realize I must have left the ring with my house keys at the shelter earlier. "Great," I mutter as I trudge back to my car. Looks like that hot shower’s going to have to wait.

The place is quiet when I arrive. It looks like most of the staff has left for the day until I finally spot Jayden finishing up some paperwork in the back. I give him a quick wave as I pass by on my way to the small employee lounge near the kennels.

"Hey, Shay! Everything alright?" he asks with a startled look.

"Yeah, I just forgot my keys," I reply with a forced smile.

"Okay. I'm locking up soon so let me know if you need anything."

I nod my thanks but find myself drawn to the kennels after retrieving my keys. The familiar sounds and smells wash over me as I walk down the rows, stopping to scratch a few furry heads through the bars along the way. It's humbling being here with all these animals who only know love. Especially when it seems the rest of the world has given up on them.

It's then that I realize just how right Grandma and Grandpa Mason were when they said I'm the reason none of my past relationships ever worked. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying all my exes were saints, but looking back, it was me who bailed every time things started feeling shaky. I guess I always thought being the first to break things off was the best way to protect my heart.

Now, I know how flawed my way of thinking was. Because even as perfect as Colt may seem today, love isn't a quest to find perfection in another person. It's a journey of self-discovery. It's compromise and forgiveness. It's giving yourself permission to care about the well-being of another even if they don't reciprocate. Colt is a good man for loving me through all my imperfections, but I have to be okay with the fact that sometimes he won’t be there. It's time I learned how to be strong for myself.