A Christmas to Cherish (A Festive Christmas #4)

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

“ T here you are.” Jack’s tie was askew around his neck, and he looked like he’d run his fingers through his hair multiple times. “I was looking for you.”

“You found me.” Emma tilted her glass of spiced apple cider in his direction. “It seemed like an important conversation back there. I didn’t want to intrude.”

Jack sat down next to her and rolled his shoulders. “It wasn’t important. Darlene never has anything new to say.”

Emma took a long sip of her drink, and it trickled down her throat before settling in the pit of her stomach. “It didn’t seem that way to me. Not that it’s any of my business, of course.”

Nor could it be.

Emma had spent the past hour watching the Christmas dance evolve into a full-fledged party, and she’d told herself not to seek Jack out.

What good would it do?

He needed someone who could give him everything he deserved: a family and stability. He’d been given a taste of those things with Darlene.

It didn’t matter how nostalgic the past made her or how good she felt around Jack; she couldn’t give him what he wanted when she didn’t even know what she was doing.

She had no idea if she was meant to stay in Rockport or return to Boston.

She wasn’t even sure what her life was meant to look like after all of these years, and Jack deserved someone as sure as he was.

Someone whose head wasn’t sent into a tailspin because of her parents and hometown.

“Darlene and I have been over for a long time. We tried to make it work, and honestly, I gave her way more chances than I should’ve, for Derek’s sake. I wanted us to be a family, you know? And I really did try.”

Emma twisted to face him, and her stomach dipped. “So, what happened?”

Jack lifted his gaze to hers, and he frowned. “We just weren’t a good fit. We wanted different things out of life, and I knew Darlene wanted to see the world. I wanted to stay here and give Derek a stable life full of community, family, and tradition.”

“Darlene had other ideas?”

Jack exhaled. “She usually does. When she first left to find herself, I thought she would never come back, and for a long time, she didn’t. She was gone for almost six years, and when she showed up at our door, I couldn’t believe it.”

Emma spotted Derek out of the corner of her eye, half of his flannel shirt untucked as he spoke to a petite brunette with almond-shaped, hazel eyes. “I’m sure it must’ve been hard for Derek.”

“It was, but I told myself that I would give her another chance, and I did,” Jack replied, his expression turning wistful. “I guess I told myself that because she was his mother, it was going to work out.”

A loud crash interrupted the conversation, and the music drew to a halt.

Someone hoisted the now-drunk piano player onto his feet, and laughter erupted among the nearby group. Suddenly, music began to play through the overhead speakers, and everyone returned to the festivities, even when the lights on the Christmas tree flickered and the snow outside fell in large chunks. A fierce wind howled, rattling some windows as Emma inched closer to Jack, overcome with a strong urge to hold his hand.

Would he still feel as warm and solid as he used to in high school?

Like she could do anything with him by her side?

“I’m sorry it didn’t,” Emma said, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the chatter. “I wish things had worked out differently.”

Jack swung his gaze to hers, and his eyes softened. “I’m not. They worked out the way they were supposed to. Darlene might think she wants me back, but that’s only because she hasn’t found someone who can give her what she wants.”

“And have you found someone who can give you what you want?”

“I feel like I’ve been searching ever since you and I broke up,” Jack replied, his eyes never leaving her face. “What did happen between us?”

Emma broke their gaze and clutched her drink tighter. “What usually happens. I went away to college, and we drifted apart. It happens to a lot more people than you think.”

“I remember it being worse than that.”

He was right.

It had been.

Those first few months without him had been like trying to walk around with half a heart. Even though he’d only been to her campus a handful of times, she’d see him everywhere she looked, and his face had haunted all of her dreams. At nineteen, she had done her best to make it work, everything from going home every weekend to inviting Jack to any and all events on campus, all in an effort to make sure they didn’t drift apart.

In the end, it hadn’t mattered.

He’d started pulling away the day she told him she’d gotten into the university in Boston.

Emma hadn’t known it then, but it was the beginning of the end, and she’d fought against it with everything she had until she couldn’t.

Until it hurt too much to realize he wasn’t holding on anymore.

What were you supposed to do? Keep up a one-sided relationship? Jack had basically started the timer on your relationship before you were completely packed for college.

A lump rose in the back of Emma’s throat. “I don’t think it’ll do either of us any good to relive this. It was a lifetime ago. We’re different people now.”

Jack plucked the drink from her hand and set it on the table behind her. He lowered himself onto the chair next to hers and twisted so he was looking at her completely.

She saw herself reflected in his eyes.

Her teenage self, who was younger and freer, had all these plans for her life.

What had happened to her?

“I know we both went on to have lives,” Jack began in a low voice. “But you were always in the back of my mind, Emma. A part of me held on to you for a really long time.”

Emma’s heart felt like it was going to jump right out of her chest.

Why was he telling her all of this now—at the Christmas dance, no less?

This wasn’t supposed to be happening.

She wasn’t here to rekindle an old flame.

She couldn’t.

“I know why we didn’t work out, and maybe things worked out the way they did because we weren’t ready at the time.”

Emma’s breath hitched in her throat. “Jack, I-I really don’t think we should be talking about this now. This isn’t the time or the place.”

Jack searched her face. “Isn’t it? Fate has brought us back together after all this time for a reason.”

Emma shook her head, tasting bile in the back of her throat. “Fate didn’t bring us back together. My father’s letter did.”

And no amount of wishful thinking was going to change that.

Emma couldn’t let herself get swept up in the fantasy, not when Jack was clearly too far gone. She’d already gotten lucky in love twice, and she wasn’t na?ve enough to think that she’d been brought back here for this.

“When you and I broke up, it wasn’t just because being apart was hard or because we had different lives,” Emma continued, the words pouring out of her in a rush. “I also couldn’t handle how close you and Marley had become, remember?”

It had nearly destroyed her to go home every week and see them together.

She had known nothing was happening between them and was certain neither of them would betray her like that, but once the seed of doubt had taken root, Emma hadn’t been able to stop it from unfolding. For months, she’d swallowed back every mean retort on the tip of her tongue and tried not to scowl whenever the three of them got together.

But it had almost killed her.

Seeing Marley and Jack with the same easy banter had broken something inside her.

Knowing she couldn’t go back in time had weighed heavily on her, and for a year, she’d carried that feeling around, the deep-seated belief that she wasn’t good enough anymore.

A part of her had always wondered what would’ve happened if she hadn’t let her jealousy get the upper hand.

You and Jack would’ve broken up anyway. It just wasn’t meant to be, and it had nothing to do with Marley.

Jack frowned and took both of her hands in his. “You know nothing ever happened between Marley and me. She’s like my little sister.”

Emma gave him a weak smile. “I know, but at the time, seeing the two of you was hard, and I’ll admit, I let jealousy get the better of me.”

“You had nothing to be jealous of.”

Emma sighed. “I know. I know that now, but my jealousy isn’t the only reason we broke up. You and I both know that.”

Pretending otherwise wasn’t going to help anyone.

It wasn’t going to turn back the clock.

“I shouldn’t have given up so easily,” Jack whispered, his eyes moving steadily over her face, making the rest of the world melt away.

Abruptly, he stood and led Emma to a quieter part of the room, where the music and conversation weren’t as loud. By the light of the fire, he stroked her hand and gazed into her eyes, making her feel like she was back in high school.

Looking into Jack’s eyes made everything feel possible.

He drew her into his arms, and she didn’t protest. “You came back for a reason, and I’m not giving up that easily this time.”

Emma tilted her head back to look at him, and the words died on her lips.

Why could she still see forever in his eyes?

She made a low noise in the back of her throat, grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and pressed her lips to his. Jack was still for a long moment, and then he kissed her back with just as much fervor, as if he’d been starving for air all these years.

The years between them no longer mattered.

Nothing mattered except the rush in her veins and the stardust exploding behind her eyes, reminding her of how it used to be between them.

Jack’s hands moved to her waist, and she tilted her head to the side, marveling at how good it felt to be held by him.

A loud chirping sound broke through the fog, and Emma whimpered.

When it happened again, Jack drew back and fished her phone out of her pocket. “You should probably get that.”

Emma’s heart was still pounding, and her chest was heaving. She took a step back, slightly shook her head, and pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

Her mother’s voice was frantic, her breathing coming out in short puffs. “Emma? Thank God you picked up. Your father wanted us to leave early, and we didn’t want to disturb you, but…you…you need to come to the hospital. It’s your father. He collapsed.”

The heavy fog that had settled around her vanished in an instant, replaced by a hard knot in the center of her stomach. Emma’s veins turned to ice as she mumbled something into the phone and fumbled with her keys. She didn’t realize she was shaking until Jack took her elbow and led her outside to the rental car. Wordlessly, he buckled her in, got into the driver’s side, and drove her to the hospital. He kept one hand on the steering wheel, and the other held her hand in a viselike grip.

I just got him back. Please, let him be okay. Please.