A Day in a Life

Chapter Thirty-One

Sydni

A FTER ELIJAH LEAVES , I tear off my clothes and climb between my cool sheets to hunker under the covers. It’s my safe space to allow myself a gut-wrenching cry. I cry so hard, I begin to see spots in front of my eyes. My head aches from the pressure of deep sobbing. My hands lock up from hyperventilating. My eyelids become puffy and swollen. Red spots cover my face.

I don’t cry pretty.

I didn’t see this coming. Not at all. I didn’t even suspect a thing. I feel so dumb.

Newsflash: when a strikingly handsome man shows up at your place of employment and wants you and only you, it’s too good to be true.

I fell into his trap so easily.

Except he says he loves me.

Do I believe him? Why would he lie? I told him everything he wanted to know. He got what he wanted.

Yet he’s not leaving. He’s professing his love. He has nothing more to gain from me.

Doesn’t that say something? I think so. I don’t know. I can’t think straight.

I call in sick the next day so I can stay in bed and feel sorry for myself. I cry off and on, eat far too much ice cream, and ignore Elijah’s phone calls.

When he comes to my door, knocking and yelling out my name, I ignore him.

He sends me a text. Please, just let me know you’re all right.

I respond because I’m sick of people thinking I’m suicidal over men. As if. My worth is not based on how a man feels about me.

I’m fine , I text back. That’s all he gets.

This day is for me and me alone. I asked for time. I’m taking it. There’s so much emotional baggage to unpack.

I call in sick the next day too. Except I can’t stay in the apartment all day. It’s too depressing. I’m not inspired to paint either. So I pull on some clothes and head for the beach. A long walk is what I need. Time to clear my head and see things as they are, not how my emotions perceive them to be.

The salty air, the sand between my toes, the surf licking at my feet, all combine to soothe and calm me. The world is too beautiful for ugliness.

After a few hours, I’m thinking clearly again. I can see what happened from Elijah’s point of view.

I wish he would’ve confronted me from the very beginning. I tell myself I would’ve spoken with him, but I wonder if I really would have.

Besides, according to Elijah, nothing has been fake. It’s all been real.

Who am I really mad at?

That’s easy. Cole.

He’s the slithering serpent behind everything that has gone wrong in my life.

Not Elijah. He’s been the one perfect thing in my life. The one person who has come to my aid. He didn’t have to. He could have snapped a picture of me and reported to the insurance company that I was alive. His job would’ve been done. Instead, he’s stayed by my side, watching over me, protecting me, trying to figure out what really happened. He’s gone above and beyond the parameters of his job.

I simply needed a day or two to sort it all out in my mind.

“Hey.”

I look up to see Elijah, looking more serious than I’ve ever seen him. “Hey.” I don’t know how he found me. Maybe he’s been following me all along. Protecting me from afar.

“I wanted to make sure you’re all right. Then I’ll leave you alone.” The line between his brows seems deeper, the light in his eyes extinguished. His entire expression is a mask of apprehension.

He’s truly worried about me. “Don’t worry. You can’t hurt me. I’ve been dead on the inside for the past seven years anyway.”

“Don’t say that. It’s not true. You’re thriving in the new life you’ve made for yourself. You’re a survivor, Sydni.”

“Am I? Or am I just surviving ?” I’m not sure anymore.

“No. You’re living your life on your terms. That took a lot of courage.”

“Did it? Or did I take the coward’s way out?” Looking back, it feels like I ran away from life instead of facing it.

“Not at all. You did what was best for you. You put yourself first,” Elijah says, his tone fierce.

Because I loved myself enough to realize I was in a toxic situation. One I had to escape. He’s right. “Yeah. That’s true.”

“What do you want, Sydni? I’ll make it happen.”

“All I want is you.” My whisper-voice seems fitting in this moment.

He blinks as though I startled him. “What?”

“You. All I want is you. All the rest, it’s not about me and you. It’s about Cole. And he has nothing to do with me and you.”

“I agree.”

“If you want me, say you want me. If you don’t, tell me you don’t. All I’m asking for is the truth. A lie will hurt more. Are you in or are you out?”

He doesn’t hesitate. “I’m all in.”

“You are?” My voice cracks.

“I am.” Elijah walks toward me with purpose, drops his cane, and throws his arms around me in a tight embrace. I hold him equally as tight, burying my head in his chest.

He takes a step back, cradling my face in his hands. “I listened to your family members speak of you, one by one. Then Penny, then Emma. I learned who you were through their eyes, and I fell in love with you. Everything that has happened since I’ve been with you in person has only made that love grow stronger.”

Our lips are so close, almost touching. I inhale his sweet breath.

“I want to kiss you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. But I won’t. I refuse to taint our relationship with regrets.”

My regrets. Because I don’t want to be like Cole. The burden of regret would become a blood stain on my soul.

We embrace again, desperately holding each other close.

After our emotions have calmed down, we sit on the sand, his arm around me, my head resting on his shoulder. Elijah has gone to great lengths to be a part of my life, more than anyone else. I love him for that.

My mind jumps ahead to the other things that need to be resolved in my life. “So Cole’s letting everyone believe I’m dead?”

“He is. He’s never told anyone about your phone call. At least, no one’s ever admitted to it.”

“What do you mean?”

“His fiancée probably knows. Those two are in cahoots.”

“Is he still with the one with the loud laugh?” I ask. While I was crying, she was laughing. I’ll never forget it.

“He is. By the way, you should know something. He planned for you to find them together the morning you came home from the hospital. He knew it would make you end the marriage.”

I close my eyes, feeling numb. Is there no end to his betrayal?

“Syd?”

“It’s a lot to absorb.” It’s too much.

“I felt you should know. No more secrets.”

“I appreciate that.” I hate secrets. I want to know everything, even if it hurts. Then an idea hits me. As I let it tumble around in my mind, I like it more and more. “Cole’s pretending I’m dead. I’d like to sting him.”

“Sting him?” I can tell Elijah hates the idea just by the tone of his voice.

“Yeah. Catch him in his game. I’ll go in wearing a wire. He’ll act all shocked to see me. I’ll get him to admit he knew I was alive all along. We’ll have the recording as proof.”

“I hate that idea. No, absolutely not. It’s too dangerous for you.” Elijah tightens his arm around me.

I scoff. “Cole might be a lowlife jerk, but he would never hurt me. He’s not a violent man. He wouldn’t want to get blood on the carpet or scuff a wall. Seriously. You met him. Did he have a speck of lint on him? Was there a speck of dust anywhere in the house? Was a strand of hair out of place?”

“He’s dangerous, Syd. I’m telling you, he’s a desperate man. I think he may have pre-spent some of the life insurance money on a ridiculously expensive ring for his hyena of a fiancée. If he’s pre-spent money on that, there are probably a lot more things he’s purchased. He’s counting on that money. You don’t corner a desperate man.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” I repeat.

“No, he wouldn’t. He’d hire someone else to do the dirty work. No more secrets means facing the cold hard facts. It’s why I’ve been worried about your safety.”

I think my blood stops in my veins. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

I’m silent for a long time as the truth settles inside me. This is a nightmare that will never end.

Finally I say, “I want to get him. It’s something I have to do. You’d be listening to everything that’s being said. I’d be safe.”

“I’m not putting you in that position. It’s not worth it. Too risky. He’s not going to get the money. In many ways, that’s punishment enough.” Elijah’s voice is firm.

“Not for me.”

“I think it’s best if we let this go. The police will take it from here.”

I sit up so I can face Elijah. “I know you want to protect me, and I love you for it. But you don’t get to decide this for me. He didn’t just let everyone think I was dead, he let everyone believe I resorted to suicide. Plus, he’s trying to collect money from my imaginary death. I need to do this. I need to stand up for myself.”

“Penny warned me you had a backbone. It’s stronger than I thought. Here’s the thing: I don’t want you to do it. It’s poking the bear.” There’s not an ounce of amusement in Elijah’s demeanor.

I stare into his brown eyes, searching for any sign of surrender. There’s none. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. But this is something I want to do.” I take a deep breath. “I’ll do it with or without your help. I’ll be safer if you’re there listening in.”

Elijah runs one hand through his hair. “A tape recording doesn’t always hold up in court. It could be considered entrapment.”

“I want to do this. I don’t want anyone else to know I’m alive yet. Cole gets to hear the news first. I want to see the sorry look on his face when he sees me standing on his doorstep, very much alive.”

“I get it. It would be satisfying. You deserve the gratification. But I don’t think it would be worth it. Not if it puts your life at risk.”

“It will help put him behind bars for insurance fraud. I’ll get proof he knew I was alive all along. It’ll be worth it.”

“I’ll think about it,” Elijah relents. “For the record, it’s a huge N-O from me.”