A Dream of Fate & Flesh (Courts of Malice #2)

15. Forever Indebted to Him

fifteen

Forever Indebted to Him

Eoin

“ F eckin’ hell,” I mutter, kicking at the air.

Ezamae is a swine for interfering and whisking Alessia away. I’m so close to getting everything I wanted—my own court, respect, awe.

I just need to get Alessia back and uphold Queen Yvanthia’s orders, and it’s all mine.

Ignoring the oblivious fae dancing around me, I quickly locate my sister. “Sennah, we need to get Alessia. Send out the troops.”

We’re lucky to have a few winged warriors in our army. They can quickly spread out and find the human. I bet Ezamae took her to his damn court.

“Come on,” I say, jerking my head toward the exit. “Let’s speak outside.”

I bolt down the hallway and into the night, Sennah on my heels.

The fresh air is a balm to my overheated skin. I suck in a breath, loosen my collar, and crack my knuckles.

“Feck!” I yell toward the dark sky.

Striding through my gardens, I don’t pause until I reach my fountain.

Tonight didn’t go the way I had expected.

Well, the first part did—I successfully instigated Rainer as I had planned. The violent shite has no self-control. He’s a stain tainting Avylon’s beauty. However, I had not expected Queen Yvanthia to show up and interfere.

I make a fist, shaking it into the air as I release another growl of frustration. I’ll still take Umbra Court over. It’ll be mine soon. We just have a few more complications to work out on the way.

Sennah catches up to me, her expression stern. “What the hell did you do?”

“What are you waiting for?” I gesture toward the hill behind the palace where the barracks are. “Send them after her.”

I need to be the one to deliver her back to Dovenak to earn the queen’s favor. Shite, if I’m smart, I can earn both queen’s favors and repair the rift between the realms.

I’ll be a hero.

I’ll be respected for once.

“I’m not entertaining this, Eoin.”

I balk, spinning to face my sister. “What?”

A shadow crosses her face. “You have done enough irreparable damage—”

“Of course you’re not taking my side.” I hold up a hand, shaking my head. “You won’t waste your energy, your army, or your love on me —your brother.” My insides turn to dust, crumbling at the rejection again.

She always always chooses everyone but me.

“Eoin…” Sennah sighs. “Let it go. Let her go.”

I narrow my eyes, a burning anger shooting its way through my chest and up my throat. “What?”

“Let her go ,” my sister repeats.

I scoff. “Is this another order as princess? Or a request from my sister?”

“Both.”

“You heard Queen Yvanthia. If we don’t return her, we risk losing our court!” I pace, the disbelief coursing through me like a live energy.

“If she wants Alessia gone, she’ll handle it. It’s not like we’re housing her secretly.” Sennah shrugs, and I scoff at the careless attitude. “Let her and Rainer face their fate without your interference. You’ve done more than enough.”

The judgment in her tone causes me to cringe. “I’ve done nothing to—”

“You planned this,” she accuses.

My cheeks heat. “For good reason. He—”

“I do not care what he’s done, Eoin!” She yells, and my brows fly up. I glance around to make sure no one is listening. “I care about what you’ve done.” Her finger pokes my chest, her nail biting into my skin.

I swat her hand away.

“Why do you always take his side, Sennah?” My voice cracks. “Why? I’m your brother.”

I feel like a sniveling wimp, but I’m determined to know where we went wrong. It kills me that she doesn’t have my back like I have hers.

“Of course you’re my brother.” Her face softens. She reaches for me, but I flinch from her touch. “Don’t take things so personally.”

“How can I not, Sennah? It’s always been personal.” Our parents chose her to rule, casting me aside. The Cave of Reflection found me unworthy of my ancestral magic, leaving me the weakest royal of the courts .

Rainer was supposed to be my friend, but the smug little shite abandoned our friendship as soon as he got his magic.

I was left to fend for myself while the other royals made fun of my weaknesses—my pathetic healing abilities. Worst of all, even my own sister chose his side, time and time again, staying with Rainer at his court for weeks on end like the two were best friends.

“Why do you protect him?” I ask again.

“It’s an alliance that—”

“An alliance that benefits us all, yes, I know,” I say. “I’ve heard it all before.” I step closer, looking straight into her eyes. “ Why do you choose him over me ?”

“I don’t.” She avoids my gaze.

“You do! I have no one on my side, no one. I’m worthless, replaceable, weak .” I quote the things that have been said to me over the years. “The laughingstock of the entire realm. I get that, Sennah.” Blood pulses in my temples. “You’d rather have anyone but me as your brother.”

I turn to walk away, but she grips my wrist. “Eoin, no.” Her voice is low, haunted. “I love you more than anyone.”

I rip free of her grasp. “If this is what it feels like to be loved by you, then maybe love me less.”

“You’re my brother. You’re all I have.” She echoes my sentiments, cracking my chest into two.

“Then why can’t you feckin’ act like it and choose me—not Rainer—for once!”

“ Because ,” she yells, throwing her hands up, “I owe him.” Her voice lowers. “He’s kept my secret! ”

Every function in my body slows. Silence lingers between us, with only the soft trickle of the fountain and the distant music littering the air.

“Secret?” I repeat, not sure I heard her correctly. We don’t have secrets.

“Rainer didn’t curse the woods—at least not alone.” She sighs. “It’s my elemental magic tethering his fear magic to the land.”

“Sennah,” I say as calmly as I can muster. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

“ I’m the reason so many fae have died there. I’m why fae are losing faith in the Umbra Court and their ruler.” She straightens, glancing around the garden. “He continues to take the blame, keeping my secret to spare me the vitriol of both courts. To spare your anger at me. He burdens the hatred instead.”

My lungs squeeze, iron bars compressing the air there. I slump on the fountain’s edge, resting my arms on my knees and hanging my head. “Feckin’ hell, Sennah.”

Her breaths come fast, sharp, and angry. I can’t muster the energy to look at her.

“He was protecting me,” she says with finality.

“But why ?” I look at her, my shoulders slumped.

“Because that’s who he is—he looks out for—”

“No.” I grit my teeth. “Why did you feck with the woods? What were you thinking?”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Eoin.” She stands taller, looking every bit the princess she is. Even in an emotional crisis, she wears a neutral expression, not allowing me to read anything she doesn’t purposely show me .

“This is precisely why I didn’t want to tell you,” she says. “You’re so judgmental.”

My face blazes with annoyance. “No, I’m not.”

Irritated with her quick dismissal and accusations, I snatch up a stone cup from beside my fountain and scoop up some wine. I take a big gulp.

A rancid taste overwhelms my tongue, and I spit it out, scrunching my nose.

“Sit back down,” she orders. She puts her back to me as if she can’t stand to look me in the eye. “When we were younger, I practiced my magic in the woods near the Gleam.” Her head dips down, and she reaches a hand out, twisting her wrist in rhythmic motions. The soil swirls around her feet, gently lifting into the air.

A bitter taste sits on my tongue as I watch in awe, wishing I had her power instead of healing . Sennah has always been stronger than me.

If I had that power, I would not have a wine fountain. No, I would make it rain wine down around us. A parlor trick, perhaps, but with the unspoken threat of so much more .

I lose myself to the daydream until her previous words register: she preferred to practice her magic near the Gleam—on Rainer’s property.

“Why there?” I ask, studying her. “Why were you practicing your magic at his court?”

This time, I note the flush on her cheeks as she glances down at her feet, letting the soil rest. “It was right after the Cave of Reflection… and you…”

“I was an arse.” I sigh, running a hand over my face as the realization slams into me. It was right after Sennah and Rainer had received their secondary magic. We all went together. I was the only one who returned bitter, resentful, and empty inside.

“You were healing.” She squeezes my shoulder. “In your own way.”

“I pushed you and Rainer away,” I surmise, reflecting on my attitude.

“We both tried to be there for you.” She takes a deep breath and sits on the stone wall at the base of the fountain, facing me with her back to the wine.

I don’t reply, unsure of what to say.

“It wasn’t only to get away from you, you know,” she continues. “The peace and privacy at Umbra Court were wonderful. There’s a couple of meadows with...” She glances over her shoulder, toward the basin of wine. Focusing intently, she twists her hand in small circles. The wine shimmies, then rises in a steady stream, like a reverse waterfall. With a sigh, she drops her hand, and the liquid crashes down, sloshing against the stone.

“It doesn’t matter,” she continues, continuing to watch the wine flow from the fountain. “One day, a couple of men crossed the Gleam. They caught me off guard before I could react and use my magic to defend myself… they tried to… they tried to hurt me, but somehow Rainer was there before anything could happen.”

I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare at the back of my sister’s head, waiting for her to turn and look at me. To go on. Anything other than this dreadful silence filled with her pain lingering between us.

She clears her throat, still refusing to face me. “I’d seen him use his fearcaller power when he was upset before, but this was different. He was downright feral. It was then I discovered what he was. He gave up his secret to protect me when he killed those men that day. The least I could do was keep it to myself.”

“Sennah,” I say, the ache in my heart threatening to suffocate me.

She shakes her head. “In the days that followed, it was my pleading, my pushing that convinced Rainer to try and combine our magic. Around that time, I’d read a book about combining magic. We could create a barrier stronger than the Gleam to protect us from humans. He agreed, but he’s undeserving of the blame. A lesser male wouldn’t have protected me at the potential cost of their own life.”

Her eyes still won’t meet mine. Instead, she strides to the fountain to procure a cup of wine.

“Don’t,” I say softly, touching her wrist to stop her. “It’s… spoiled.”

She drops the cup. “I hate this statue, you know.”

I roll my eyes. “The whole palace is decorated to your taste. At least I get something of mine.”

She gives me a small smile. “That’s why I never mentioned it—I know it makes you happy.”

We go quiet, each lost in thought as we gaze out in the distance at our city’s twinkling lights at the base of the court’s towering hill.

“Why didn’t Rainer just reimplement the treaty?” I ask, my mind still spinning with the revelations. “It’s still his fault.”

Sennah sighs, which cues me in that there’s more to the story.

“What is it?” I press.

“Rainer tried to reinstate the treaty… it was the human queen who denied it. ”

“What?” Outraged, I pace. “That doesn’t make sense. They’ve been negotiating terms. He’s the one who’s been denying the reinstatement.” Or was that all a lie?

“Because of the demands he’s making,” Sennah says quietly.

“What demand?”

“That she dismantle the Trade.”

My nose wrinkles. “It isn’t his business.”

As much as I enjoy the company of humans, I’d never interfere with their laws or customs. The arse has a bigger heart than I expected.

I plop onto the stone wall beside the fountain. Sennah joins me, scooting close and resting her head on my shoulder.

For a moment, we simply exist.

Brother and sister.

Prince and Princess.

Empath and elemental.

So very different, despite sharing blood.

“Why didn’t you let me take your pain?” I ask. “After what you went through? I could’ve helped more than anyone.”

Her expression morphs into something softer. “I couldn’t do that to you, Eoin. I know the cost of your power. I’ve witnessed it our whole lives.”

A boulder sits in my chest, crushing me.

“Don’t pity me,” she says. “I wouldn’t be who I am today without surviving what I did.” She pats my hand placatingly. “I tell you this now not to torture you with the knowledge but to spur you into action. Alessia doesn’t deserve to be forced back into Dovenak. Rainer certainly doesn’t deserve death. ”

“You should loathe humans after what they’ve done to you, Sennah. Why would you want to keep a reminder of your pain so close?”

She gives a small smile. “Alessia is not a reminder of my pain. She’s a reminder of my strength.”

With an aggressive flick of her wrist, she sends a gust of air into my face and then chuckles. I sputter, glaring at her.

“She reminds me so much of me all those years ago.” She sucks in a breath, her expression turning serious. “Don’t hate me for saying so, but Rainer also deserves a bit of happiness himself.”

My initial reaction is to ask her why I don’t deserve happiness, too… but I realize that one’s happiness shouldn’t negate the others.

My sister is right; I have been taking things too seriously.

I work my jaw, running a hand over it. My sister’s avoidance and inclination to keep her secrets isn’t about me. My ego takes it all personally, but it’s about her . She keeps herself closed off because she’s ashamed and wants to protect herself and me.

Seeing my strong, beautiful sister burden such heavy secrets alone is like being skinned alive.

Except… she was never really alone. She found a friendship with Rainer. Feckin’ hell, it’s impossible to hate the bastard after that. If he hadn’t already killed those humans who hurt her…

“This entire thing is your fault, you know,” she says, regaining her usual pep. She pats my leg before standing up, looking down at me with shame that douses the tender moment. “You need to fix it. Preferably before the Umbra Prince is executed.”

Feck me right in the arse. I groan again, hanging my head.

“Oh, and Eoin?”

“Yes?”

“Next time we have a heart-to-heart, may we not do it beneath your stone phallus?”

Burying my face into my hands, I groan. “Don’t say phallus ever again, Sennah.”

“Phallus!” she yells, smirking before she gracefully skirts away.

I know what I need to do. I couldn’t help my sister, but it’s not too late to help Alessia—to make things right.

Gods know, after hearing how Rainer saved Sennah and kept her secrets, I’m forever indebted to him.