A Dream of Fate & Flesh (Courts of Malice #2)

32. Die A Happy Demon

thirty-two

Die A Happy Demon

Rainer

A sweet, pale face hovers above me, her grey eyes crinkling joyfully. She leans in to kiss my forehead, and her hair conceals us like a curtain.

“Mo róisín,” I whisper, gripping her neck. I pull her lips to mine.

“I haven’t seen you in days,” she whispers against my mouth.

I sit up, pulling her onto my lap so she straddles me. We sit chest to chest, and I focus on her, the rest of the dreamscape falling away.

“I haven’t slept in days,” I admit. I’m not sure I’m sleeping now, so much as knocked unconscious by my hand. Perhaps that means I’m still alive.

I’m not sure what’s worse at this point—dying or living.

She pulls back, giving me a worried look. “Rainer… Are you okay?”

I take inventory of my body, unsure how to respond. Here , I am more than okay. I feel normal without the pain in my gums and the hunger in my core, but back in that cell… if I wake up with only a migraine tomorrow, it will be a blessing.

“Tell me the truth.” She grips my face in her small, callused hands. Her sparkling eyes roam my face, searching for the truths I’ve hidden from her .

I sigh; she’d rather me be honest than try to spare her. She’s strong enough to handle my honesty, and keeping this from her will only have her assuming I think she’s weak.

“Yvanthia put a young girl in my cell. A Tradeling.” I swallow the knot in my throat as I glance away, unable to meet her questioning gaze. We’re deep in my gardens, the rose bushes reaching up tall around us like walls.

“But the queen is trying to starve you…” Her eyes widen and her hands release my face, flying up to her mouth in shock. I wrap my arms around her to keep her from toppling backward off my lap. “Rainer,” she says, my name muffled. “No.”

She pops to her feet, frantically pacing. “This is all my fault. I thought we had time. I’ve been complacent, and I should’ve hurried to—”

“Alessia,” I murmur. I rise, gently snagging her hand to get her attention. “Look at me.” She obliges, her gaze watery, and I give her the same lie Kenisius gave me recently: “It’s going to be okay.”

“Things are never okay,” she whispers. “They never have been, and they never will be.” Her eyes squeeze shut, tears slipping from the corner. “They want you to kill the girl… prove to everyone your execution is warranted. They want to kill you.”

Everything she said is correct.

Things aren’t okay, and they won’t be on this path.

“Tell me about you,” I beg, not wanting to focus on my bleak future. “The Cave. What happened?” The last time we saw each other, we vowed to keep reality from our dreams, but that’s no longer possible. Not when we’re so frightfully close to a potential ending. “Distract me, Alessia.”

She sniffles, giving me a sad smile. She leans in to kiss me, and I let her.

“Wait.” I softly cup her elbows, pulling her away from me. If these are my last moments with her, I want her mind, soul, and heart. Not just her body. “Can we… can we just talk tonight?”

Her expression softens, and she touches my cheek gently. “Of course.”

We lie on the grass, staring at the fake, too-blue sky overhead. I reach for her hand, interlacing our fingers together. My thumb moves back and forth, caressing her skin.

“I went to the Cave,” she says. “I expected to receive some sort of… powerful magic that would allow me to save the day miraculously.” She scoffs at herself, then pauses contemplatively before going. “I passed my first trial, I think, but I failed the second.”

“Perhaps you’re not ready to accept whatever is meant for you yet. That’s okay.”

“Something weird happened.” She rolls over to look at me. “In the Cave…”

I listen intently as she recounts her experience, detailing the various images she saw in the mirrathyst. When she recounts her interaction with the strange, shadowy version of herself, I hold my breath, hanging onto every word.

“The shadow has a darkness to it,” she says. “It encourages violence.”

My brow scrunches as I sit back up. “Did it look like the one you saw at Umbra?”

She nods. "In a way—until it transformed into me."

“Have you seen it other times? Outside of the Cave? ”

“Yes. But it gets weirder… I got into an altercation with it, and when I stabbed it, I was the one wounded.”

I drag a hand over my face as the pieces come together. “It sounds like a shadow-spirit, except Tynan implied he rounded them all up—he claims none are missing from Shyga.”

“Do you believe him?” she asks.

“Tynan is a lot of things, but he isn’t usually a liar.” It’s hard to take his word for things lately, though. "They also would not be able to inflict harm on you."

“Their resting place,” Alessia says. “How does that work?”

“When fae meet their end, their souls are drawn to the magic in Shyga—it used to be Spiritus Court." I furrow my brow, trying to remember what I've heard about the old court. "The souls were essentially recycled into the magic of their land.”

“The court that fell,” Alessia surmises.

I nod, surprised at her knowledge. “Now, the souls simply rest there, as if stuck in purgatory—waiting." Her eyes widen, and she dips her chin, as if telling me to continue. "When the souls cross beyond our realm to the next, their spirit—or their magic—tethers to a tree. The tree blossoms with new life, and the magic recycles into the land.” But the spirits haven’t been crossing over in recent years. The trees haven't been blooming.

“How can Tynan tell that none are missing?”

“Because a shadow-spirit breaking free is a rare occurrence… if the spirit becomes untethered from their tree, they eventually disappear into nothingness.” This is why the sighting of a rogue shadow-spirit is so unsettling—especially if it’s still following Alessia after all this time.

“Without bloodline Lírshadow—the family of the seventh court—the spirits have had trouble crossing over. As of lately, they've seemed unsettled. My brother keeps an eye on things.”

The prisoner across from my cell was ranting about the fall of the seventh court, claiming my court was next. Perhaps my family was wrong to think they could oversee Shyga, the spirits’ land, and enforce the cycle of life.

“The other strange thing is that shadow-spirits cannot assume the form of others. They certainly can’t speak.” I run a hand through my hair. “I don’t understand.”

“Me neither,” she mutters. “It hasn’t tried to hurt me. It just stalks me. And if I hurt it, I hurt myself.”

“Be careful, Alessia,” I murmur. “If anything happens to you…”

“I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about getting you back to your court. Your folk need you.”

I sit up with a sigh, stroking my jaw. “It’s over, Alessia. Don’t waste your time coming for me. I need you to protect yourself.”

She narrows her eyes at me, pushing me back into the grass. “Take it back.” She plants her hands on my chest and straddles me, lips tight with anger. “Take it back right now!”

“If I don’t, will you slap me again?”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Perhaps.” I can’t help but smirk at her, loving the fire in her eyes.

When she smiles back, my muscles relax. I reach up to her armpit, tickling the sensitive skin there. She screeches, squirming as she tries to battle my onslaught.

“Rainer—” she laughs breathlessly. “Stop! Mercy! Please!”

I pull back, letting her catch her breath. She doesn’t make a move to get off me, and my stomach tightens as I gaze up into her beautiful face. Reaching up, I push her hair back out of her face, and commit this moment to memory.

“I wish we could stay here. Just me and you. Safe.” She plants a kiss on my jaw. “And happy.” She plants another one on my temple. “And alone.”

I grip her hips, desperate to keep her here with me forever. “I know, mo róisín. Me too.”

My jaw tenses at the thought of what awaits me when I awaken. I glance away, not wanting her to read the truth in my face.

Alessia must notice my change because she grips my chin and forces my gaze back to her.

“What if… what if you feed on me here?” she asks hesitantly. “Would that maybe help your bloodlust?”

I freeze, aghast at the suggestion. “No.”

“Have you tried it before?”

I frown, holding her gaze. “Of course not. You’re the only one who has been in my dreams.” Guilt crawls up my throat, but I swallow it back down. Now is not the time for that.

“Then how could you possibly know?” She pulls her hair over one shoulder, baring the smooth, creamy skin of her neck to me. “I think we should try.”

“No,” I growl. I lift her by the waist, depositing her in the grass beside me.

“Rainer…”

“I said no!” I stand and pace the rose bushes with a scowl. How could she propose such a thing after I’ve already lost it and bit her once before ?

She gently touches my shoulder, and I relax a bit. “We’re safe here. You can’t hurt me. Even if it weren’t a dream, I’d let you feed,” she murmurs.

I shove my hands in my pockets and sigh, facing the sky. “I… I can’t.”

“I told you, I think I liked it…” She gets in front of me, a wicked gleam I’ve never seen before sparkling in her eyes. She steps so close our chests brush. “No… I know I did.” Leaning up on her tiptoes, she places her lips against the shell of my ear, letting her warm breath tickle me. “I want to feel your teeth on my skin, Rainer. I want to feel you suck from my neck, taking your fill. I want to be the one to feed you.”

The seductive way she says it sends a bolt of heat straight to my groin. On her lips, the ordeal sounds intimate, not dirty. Not something to be ashamed of. My gums pulse with desperation of their own. Never has feeding been a sexual experience for me, but Alessia brings new temptations.

“Please,” she says. She tilts her head, giving me access to her neck. “Please provide me with the pleasure and honor of feeding you.”

My canines burst free with a pop, elongating into deadly weapons. Here, in the dreamscape, the bloodlust isn’t scrambling my thoughts or impeding my free will.

I am in control.

It’s worth trying.

Carefully, I brush my fingers over Alessia’s delicate throat. My hands tremble.

“I trust you,” she whispers.

She trusts me .

Slowly, I lean in, hovering my fangs over her delicate flesh. I inhale deeply, relishing her sweet, decadent scent. Now that I really pay attention, it’s not as overpowering as fae or as rich as humans. She smells more human than fae, though, and I wonder if it’s because her ancestors have been in Dovenak for some time, mating with humans for generations.

Regardless, it’s a temptation unlike any other because it’s simply her.

“Don’t be afraid,” she says.

“I am the Prince of Fear,” I murmur against her skin. “I am afraid of nothing.”

Except you , I want to say. I’m afraid of you. I’m afraid for you, and I’m afraid of losing you.

Her husky laugh frees me from my thoughts, and her throat pulses beneath my lips. Her hands wind their way into my hair, holding me in place against her.

“I’m safe with you,” she says. “Take what you need from me.”

I press my teeth against her. She shudders, and I expect her to tense, but she does the opposite. Her body relaxes into mine, and it’s all the invitation I need. Slowly, I pierce the skin, sinking into her flesh.

She gasps, and it’s alluring. “Rainer…”

I pause. My teeth are barely in, breaking enough skin for a slow metallic stream to trickle into my mouth. Her taste floods me, and my eyes roll back, lids fluttering shut.

She pulls me closer. “More.” It’s a single, breathless word, and it breaks me down .

I push in a little deeper, and she groans, gripping my hair to hold me in place. Not wanting to be greedy, I gently suck, letting her blood fill me with life.

With love.

With hope.

“Touch me,” she whispers. “Please.”

I freeze at the unexpected request. My cock is painfully hard, something that’s never happened during a feed. I had expected the lust was only affecting me.

It’s a pleasant revelation that it’s affecting her, too.

Abiding by her request, I move a hand up her skirt, between her legs. Pulling aside her underwear, I find her delightfully drenched.

This time, I’m the one who groans, overcome with new feelings. A blinding, obliterating desire to have Alessia in every way I can. To consume her as much as she consumes me—body, mind, and spirit.

She wiggles, reminding me to move. I put my fingers to work, rubbing her rhythmically while I sip from her. A soft moan escapes her as she grinds against my hand, adding motion of her own.

I suck a little deeper, a little harder, and soon, she’s crying out. She yanks my hair so forcefully that my scalp burns, and I fight to keep my teeth latched onto her neck. I thrust my finger inside her at the last second, catching the aftershocks of her pleasure as it squeezes my finger.

Careful not to tear the minor wounds I made, I pull free from her neck and withdraw my hand. I have no time to wipe my mouth as she pulls me down to her lips, smearing her blood between us as she kisses me ravenously .

“Rainer,” she whispers breathlessly between kisses. “That was…” Her mouth meets mine again, and she groans. “That was unlike anything I’ve experienced.”

I sigh, pressing my forehead to hers.

Words feel too inadequate or meaningless to express the depth of the experience we shared.

“You… are everything to me, mo róisín.” And if I die tonight, my heart swollen with love, my stomach filled with her essence, I shall die a happy demon.