A Forbidden Night with a Scot (Sins in a Kilt #1)

Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

I n Gavin’s study, Samuel sat across from his friend that morning, only half-listening as he spoke about the previous day’s incident with Mairead. His thoughts were with Alicia once again, something that seemed to be happening far too often for his liking those days.

He hadn’t seen her since he had left her in a rush the previous day. Had she gone to see him on her own, Samuel wondered? She had said she would, but he couldn’t be certain about it.

He had left so suddenly, without giving Alicia any explanation, but he couldn’t stand the thought of being around anyone in that moment. He only wished to be alone, as he always did whenever he was reminded of his son.

“Samuel.”

Samuel looked up from his cup to see Gavin looking at him with concern, and it was only then that he realized Gavin must have called his name several times.

“Forgive me,” Samuel said. “I was thinkin’ about somethin’. What did ye say?”

“I said there seems tae be somethin’ that is troublin’ ye,” said Gavin slowly, as if he expected Samuel to not hear him again. “What is it?”

Samuel didn’t particularly want to discuss it, but if he was going to discuss it with anyone, then Gavin was perhaps the best option, as he already knew the whole story.

“Yesterday, Alicia asked me about me son an’ I… I simply couldnae bring meself tae speak about it,” he said. “I just left. I must have seemed terribly rude tae her an’ Katherine.”

From across the desk, Gavin gave him a small, understanding smile. “I’m sure they’ll ken ye meant nae offence. If anythin’, Alicia shouldnae have asked ye. She was the one who acted rudely.”

“Nay,” said Samuel, shaking his head. “Nay, she wasnae rude. But it is difficult fer me tae discuss me son.”

Ever since his wife, Thomasina, and their son Nyall, had perished at sea after their birlinn had been attacked, a part of Samuel had died along with them. And despite being unable to prove it to anyone, he had thought the one responsible for their demise had been Laird Colm MacLaine—the man who was supposed to wed Thomasina before she chose Samuel. With no tangible proof, though, there was nothing Samuel could do about it.

“I’m certain she’ll understand,” Gavin assured him. “Dinnae fash. Besides, she has other things on her mind now. I’ve never seen her as upset as she has been about this marriage.”

“I cannae blame her,” said Samuel. If anything, he thought she was taking it quite well, all things considered. Other girls in her position would have screamed and cried, begging their fathers to refuse. “Who would want tae wed Laird MacTavish? Especially a lass her age.”

“Nay one, I suppose,” Gavin agreed. Once again, he looked exhausted, so much that Samuel had half a mind to tell him to go back to bed—if he had been to bed at all, that was. For all Samuel knew, Gavin had spent the whole night awake, agonizing over this decision. “I dinnae ken how tae help her. I dinnae ken what tae dae tae stop this weddin’.”

“Perhaps we can find someone else tae wed her,” Samuel suggested, but even as he spoke those words, a part of him regretted them. He knew it would be the wisest choice, finding someone more suitable for Alicia and pretending they had been betrothed for far longer than they would be, but the suggestion left a bitter taste at the back on his throat. He could imagine her before the priest with another man, someone handsome, perhaps closer to her age, someone she could even love one day, and the mere thought pained him.

“In such a short time?” Gavin asked. “Laird MacTavish will demand an answer soon. Or the king will. We dinnae have time an’ even if we did, dae ye think they would allow it?”

Samuel shrugged a shoulder. “Thomasina chose me over MacLaine,” he reminded Gavin. “An’ MacLaine could dae naething about it.”

He had, of course, taken both his wife and his son away from him, but he doubted Laird MacTavish would do such a thing. Even if Alicia chose someone else, Samuel wanted to think she would be safe from that man.

Gavin hummed noncommittally and Samuel couldn’t blame him for his lack of response. On the one hand, Gavin surely wanted someone else to marry his daughter, but on the other, he couldn’t see how that could happen.

For a while, the two of them fell silent, until Gavin said, “What about ye? Dae ye plan tae marry again?”

“Me?” Samuel asked, unable to hold back a chuckle. “Nay. I have nae plans tae wed.”

“But Thomasina… ye didnae marry her fer love, me friend.”

“She was dear tae me,” said Samuel with a sigh. “She still is. Even if I wasnae in love with her, I did love her. She was me wife, the maither o’ me son. She gave me a few happy years, even if she wasnae in love with me, either.”

Theirs had been a marriage of convenience, as most marriages among nobles were. Their station didn’t allow them to marry for love. Few were lucky enough to fall in love with their spouses throughout the course of their marriage and fewer still those who found their perfect match and married them. And yet he and Thomasina had had a mutual understanding and they had been fond of each other. They had understood they didn’t need to be in love to have a marriage that was happier than most.

Thomasina had been kind to him. She had been an amazing mother. It was the most Samuel could have asked of her.

“So ye’ll never give that necklace ye wear tae anyone?” Gavin asked. “Ye’ll simply keep it around yer neck fer the rest o’ yer life?”

“Even if I wed again, it doesnae mean I will be in love,” Samuel pointed out. He was too old for such things. If he did marry another woman, it would be another marriage of convenience, and he doubted there would be feelings involved. Perhaps, if he was lucky enough, he would find someone like Thomasina, who would respect him and whom he would respect. “I was instructed tae give this tae the woman I love the most, nae tae me wife.”

“Did ye ever tell Thomasina about it?”

“Dae ye take me fer a fool?” asked Samuel. “O’ course I didnae. I would never dae that tae a woman.”

“Good lad,” said Gavin. “Ye should keep that tae yerself.”

Once again, silence stretched between them, and this time, Samuel could see that what Gavin needed the most was some rest. Pushing himself off the chair, he rounded the desk and patted his friend’s shoulder, forcing him to stand.

“Go tae sleep,” he said. “Ye need it. We will talk later.”

“There are things I must dae,” Gavin protested, but Samuel wouldn’t hear any of it.

“Ye cannae dae those things if ye’re so tired,” he said. “Come. Go tae bed. Ye need it.”

Still grumbling under his breath, Gavin stood and followed Samuel out of the room, heading to his chambers. Without him to keep him company, Samuel decided to head to the bathing rooms before continuing with his day, and so he grabbed a change of clothes from his chambers before he headed down to the baths.

Once there, he heard there was someone else, though he assumed it was perhaps one of the men from Samuel’s council or one of the high-ranking soldiers. Who else would be using the baths, after all, especially at that time of the day? As he walked farther inside, though, he saw a figure through the steam of a hot bath that was decidedly not male in nature and he was about to excuse himself, embarrassed to have intruded like that, before that figure turned around, alarmed by the sound of his footsteps.

It was none other than Alicia, standing there in shock. Drops of water travelled down her silky skin, following the swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, some disappearing between her legs where Samuel’s gaze was drawn?—

They both screamed at the same time, Alicia grabbing a drying cloth just as she jumped back in the tub in a desperate attempt to hide her nudity and Samuel throwing his clothes at her as if that could somehow help either of them.

Swiftly turning around, Samuel shouted, “Forgive me! I didnae ken ye would be here!”

“What are ye doin’ here?” Alicia demanded. “Nay one ever comes here so early in the mornin’!”

“I didnae ken that was a rule!” Samuel pointed out.

“It isnae a rule , but nay one does!”

Samuel was panting. He hadn’t realized until then, but his breath was coming in quick, short puffs and his heart was racing as if he had just seen a woman naked for the first time. As much as he tried to forget what he had seen, he was certain that the memory would stay with him and torment him for the rest of his life.

“Ye didnae… ye didnae see anythin’, did ye?”

Alicia’s voice was hollow and tinny as it rang through the small room. It was so empty that every sound seemed to be amplified—everything from her voice and the splashing of water as she moved in the tub, to the slow, steady drip of it on the floor. The air seemed to press down on him, oppressive and filled with humidity, and the only thing Samuel wanted in that moment was to disappear.

“Nay,” he lied. “I saw naething, o’ course. Dinnae fash.”

It was better to lie to her, he thought, than tell her the truth. He didn’t want her to be embarrassed about this or to allow such an unfortunate incident make their interactions awkward.

Silence stretched between them for several moments, time seemingly slowing down for Samuel. Eventually, Alicia cleared her throat and he remembered just where he was and what he was doing, and he couldn’t help but curse his bad luck.

Why did Alicia have to have been there right when he entered the room? Why did she have to have been naked?

“Well!” said Samuel in a voice so loud it was jarring even to his own ears. “I will leave ye tae dress.”

As he spoke, he quickly gathered the clothes he had thrown, picking them up off the floor. In his hasty effort, he kept dropping things—first his shirt, then the trews, and then his drying cloth, the items simply falling right out of his hands as though his body had forgotten how to hold onto things. By the time he had gathered it all, he had almost given up, thinking it was better to flee and leave the clothes there.

The moment he had everything in his arms, he strode out of the baths without another word and he didn’t stop walking until he had made it all the way back to his chambers. He didn’t know how he even managed to get there—all he knew was that he was now behind the safety of his door and he had managed to reach that safety without further incidents, though several servants had looked at him oddly as he rushed by without a word.

Heart still hammering in his chest, Samuel dropped his clothes on the floor and let his head fall back against the door, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. Soon, though, that turned out to be a bad idea, as he could imagine, clear as day, Alicia’s nude body right in front of him, as vivid as when he had first seen it.

It was going to be a long stay at Castle MacCallum, Samuel thought. There was no other explanation for it—this was payment for his sins.