A Forbidden Night with a Scot (Sins in a Kilt #1)

Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

“ T hat is me daughter,” Gavin said through gritted teeth, his voice barely a whisper. His eyes shone with tears that refused to spill. “Me daughter. Ye’ve kent her since she was a bairn.”

Samuel said nothing. What was there for him to say, after all? He had always known, deep down, that Gavin would be furious with him, disgusted by his actions. He had always known their friendship had come to an end the moment he decided to give himself to Alicia.

He didn’t expect Gavin to understand. Samuel hardly understood it himself.

When Gavin grabbed him once more, his fingers closing around the fabric of his shirt, Samuel knew what was to come and didn’t try to resist. The first punch to his face, even expected as it was, sent a wild, throbbing pain through him, the force of it leaving him reeling. Above him, Gavin was crouched like a wild animal, the rage he exuded almost more oppressive than his physical presence. Samuel saw him in details: the twitching vein in his forehead, the reddened blood vessels in his eyes bursting in his fury, the curl of his lip as he bared his teeth. Never before had Samuel seen him like this, nor had he ever expected to be at the receiving end of such anger and hatred and more than anything else, it broke his heart to know this was his best friend, the man he had sworn to never betray.

But betray him he did, and now he had to suffer the consequences.

“Faither!” Alicia’s voice cut through the fog in Samuel’s mind, though it didn’t seem to have the same effect on Gavin. Another punch landed on his cheek, this one just as vicious, just as unrestrained as the first, and Samuel only groaned in pain as he sagged in Gavin’s grip, letting him do as he pleased.

I deserve this. I deserve so much more than this.

Distantly, he became aware of the presence of more people around him—Emmeline and Katherine, both emerging from their rooms to see the source of the commotion, and Nerian, who was trying to wrestle Gavin off him. Samuel had half a mind to tell Nerian to leave, to let Gavin do whatever he wanted to him, but Gavin’s rough treatment had already left him disoriented and confused. Gavin was a strong man; he had always been. Now that Samuel wasn’t fighting back, wasn’t even trying to defend himself, the burst of pain that came with every punch was unbearable, bringing him one moment closer to unconsciousness.

“Faither, let him go!”

It was Alicia again, her voice loud and jarring in Samuel’s ears, even through the ringing in his head. Still, Gavin was relentless, dealing punch after punch, even as all three of his daughters were shouting at him and Nerian was trying his best to peel him off Samuel. Samuel only gazed at his friend, his eyes filled with nothing but guilt and regret.

If only I had spoken to him sooner.

If only I had never allowed meself the indulgence.

But even so, he couldn’t quite bring himself to regret his relationship with Alicia. He adored her and he knew she, too, loved him. Perhaps it was wrong. Perhaps he was sick for loving her. Perhaps there was something terribly wrong with him and Gavin was right to want to hurt him.

At the same time, though, his feelings were real and he, at least, knew he would never do anything to hurt Alicia.

“She’s me daughter,” Gavin repeated, but this time, he seemed to be talking to Nerian, who had managed to restrain him, the two of them hovering right over Samuel where he lay on the floor. The stone was cold and hard against his back, digging into his spine, but he was only vaguely aware of the discomfort. “Me wee lassie.”

Samuel’s heart shattered in his chest at the pain he heard in Gavin’s voice. Slowly, he dragged his gaze to Alicia, who was staring at him in horror, a hand clamped over her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks.

In one final fit of rage, Gavin tore himself free of Nerian with a growl and delivered one final blow to Samuel, knuckles smashing against the side of his head. This time, he hardly had the chance to register the pain. Instead, darkness claimed him, everything around him going black.

The last thing he saw was Alicia and the glint of tears in her eyes.

Pain speared through Samuel’s head as he blinked his eyes open, looking at his surroundings. He was not in his bed, but rather in a cot next to a few more identical cots that lined the wall. At the other end of the room, books and papers covered a large table and herbs hung from the ceiling to dry.

The healer’s quarters.

There was little light in the room, though not because it was still night. The windows had been covered with heavy cloths, letting in only a sliver of morning light that barely illuminated the room. As Samuel looked around, he thought at first that he was all alone, but then spotted a lone figure sitting in a nearby chair, absorbed in the pages of a book.

At first, he thought it was Alicia and his heart jumped to his throat as the memories of the previous night rushed back to him and he remembered what had happened and how he had ended up where he was. But then he realized it couldn’t be Alicia. He doubted Gavin would ever allow him to see her again, let alone be in the same room with her without anyone else present.

“Ye’re awake.”

It was a familiar voice and Samuel saw the figure stand and approach him, the book laid carefully on the chair. As the woman came closer, he saw it was none other than Emmeline, who looked as though she hadn’t slept at all that night. Dark circles lined her eyes and she appeared wearier than when she had arrived, as though the night had taken much out of her.

“How are ye feelin’?” Emmeline asked. “Shall I call the healer?”

“Nay,” said Samuel, making to shake his head before he thought better of it. His ears still rang and the pain was still too much for him to do anything but keep his head still precisely where it was. “I’m alright. Alicia?”

Emmeline gave him a small, yet fond smile. “Locked in her chambers, o’ course,” she said. “But she’s alright. Scared from what she saw, but she’ll recover.”

Knowing Alicia was shocked and scared from what she had witnessed hurt Samuel even worse than his injuries. Though he couldn’t tell how bad he looked, he was certain he didn’t make for a pleasant sight, as every part of his face felt swollen and tender, pain coursing through him every time he tried to speak or move his facial muscles. He couldn’t help but wish he could have protected her from this. He couldn’t help but wish he could have done something to prevent it.

Hesitantly, Samuel asked, “An’ Gavin?”

At first, Emmeline said nothing, staring into the distance for a few moments. In the end, she said, “Me Faither is furious. He is makin’ us leave today.”

“Today?”

It was too soon. Samuel needed to speak to him, to make him understand how much he loved Alicia. He had promised her he would do anything for them to be together, and he wasn’t going to take back his promise now.

Emmeline nodded. “Soon, even. We are preparin’ fer our departure. He forbade Alicia an’ Katherine from seein’ ye, but I am a married woman an’ he cannae tell me what tae dae. I came tae inform ye. I didnae want ye tae find out after we were gone an’ Alicia… she begged me tae say goodbye tae ye on her behalf.”

Trying to push himself upright, even as his head swam and his vision blurred, Samuel said, “I must see her. I must?—”

“Ye cannae,” said Emmeline firmly, pushing him back down with a hand on his shoulder. “Faither will never allow it. An’ besides, ye can hardly sit. Ye’ll never make it tae her.”

Samuel didn’t want to give up, but the way Emmeline spoke made him realize he truly had no other option than to let Alicia go. If Gavin saw him again, he would surely end him and the years of friendship between them would make no difference.

“I am truly sorry this happened, Samuel,” said Emmeline as she perched on the edge of his cot, regret coloring her features. “Ye have always been… special tae Alicia. When she first told me about ye, I was surprised, o’ course, but perhaps it isnae so surprisin’, after all. I ken she loves ye very much an’ I am glad she doesnae have tae marry Laird MacTavish anymore. She would have been so unhappy with him.”

Samuel knew Emmeline spoke from experience, as she had married her much older husband at the tender age of fifteen and had been suffering as his wife ever since. The last thing she would want was for her sister to meet the same fate.

For a few moments, Emmeline fell silent again, her gaze lost somewhere in the distance, as though she, too, was lost in her memories. Was she thinking about her husband, Samuel wondered? Was she thinking about what would happen to Alicia now that no other man would marry her? From how she had spoken, it seemed they knew she was no longer pure and thus Laird MacTavish would not want to marry her.

“I’ll come fer her,” Samuel said with absolute resolve in his voice. “Once I am healed, I will come fer her, Emmeline. I will convince Gavin, nae matter what it takes.”

Giving him a small smile, Emmeline touched his shoulder briefly in a comforting manner before she stood and stepped away from the cot.

“Goodbye, Samuel,” she said. “I hope that ye dae.”

With that, she was gone, leaving Samuel alone in the room to ponder the look on her face. A part of him thought Emmeline didn’t believe he could do what he claimed but didn’t wish to tell him so, to discourage him. But Samuel wouldn’t be discouraged. He had made a promise to Alicia, a promise he intended to keep.

As the minutes passed, Samuel lay there on the cot, staring at the ceiling. Not much later, he heard the sound of several hooves and the creak of the gates as they opened to allow passage through the castle walls, and he knew Alicia was leaving.

She is leavin’. She is leavin’ an’ I am allowin’ it, like a fool.

Before the gates had even been shut, Samuel pushed himself out of the cot with all the strength he had left, determined to never make the mistake of hesitating again.

Clouds gathered above Alicia as she and her family rode down the path that led away from Castle MacLachlan—away from Samuel and any chance she had of being with him. Ever since the previous night, when her father had attacked him, she could not stop the tears that fell from her eyes no matter how much she tried. There seemed to be no end to them, no respite from the pain. Samuel was all she could think about and no matter how many times Emmeline assured her he was fine and he would make a full recovery soon, she could not help but worry for his well-being.

Her father had beaten him savagely upon seeing them together. Alicia had never seen him like this before, acting like a feral beast whose only goal was to take a chunk out of his opponent.

Ever since, he had been watching her like a hawk, refusing to let her out of his sight. She didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye to Samuel and now she never would.

“What were ye thinkin’?” her father demanded, his voice cutting through the silence of the forest they were crossing. “Were ye thinkin’ at all? O’ course ye werenae. If ye were thinkin’, ye wouldnae have allowed him tae… tae ruin ye like this!”

He had not spoken a word to Alicia ever since the incident, but now her father seemed in the mood to talk—or rather, to accuse her and release some of the anger he still held in his heart, since he couldn’t yell at Samuel. Alicia choked on a sob, gritting her teeth to keep herself quiet.

“He didnae ruin me,” she mumbled under her breath.

“What was that?” her father asked.

“I said he didnae ruin me,” Alicia said defiantly, this time daring to turn her head and meet his gaze. “He wishes tae marry me an’ so dae I. He wished tae speak with ye, tae explain everythin’, but ye had tae hurt him like that!”

“I should have killed him!” Her father roared, blood rushing to his face and turning it a bright shade of red. “I should have killed him fer what he did tae ye. Did ye think I would ever allow such a thing tae happen? Ye’re more foolish than I thought!”

“I’m nae foolish!” Alicia protested. She had never spoken to her father like that. Even when they argued—which was often, considering how much trouble she tended to get in—he always reminded her that even if he was upset at the time, he always loved her. But now there was nothing other than rage in his tone, nothing but contempt in his gaze. “I dinnae understand how ye can be against this when ye were so willin’ tae wed me tae Laird MacTavish! How is he a better man fer me than Samuel?”

“It isnae the same!” her father said, bringing his horse to a sudden halt and forcing her sisters to do the same. Alicia stopped a few steps farther down the path and turned her horse to face him, her lips forming a thin line as she pursed them. “An’ I didnae want ye tae wed Laird MacTavish. Ye ken that. I dinnae want ye tae wed either o’ them!”

“Well, I dae!” Alicia shouted, her anger getting the better of her. “I’m nae a bairn anymore, Faither. Samuel kens that, even if ye dinnae.”

“Ye act like a bairn,” her father said, raising his voice to match her volume. “An’ ye have humiliated me. Ye have humiliated us all! Did ye ever stop tae think how yer trysts with Samuel would reflect on the rest o’ us? Now everyone will ken ye’re a disgrace!”

“Faither—”

“Quiet!” Her father roared, turning to look at Emmeline, who had tried to appease him. “I expected Katherine tae say naething about this, but ye, Emmeline? I thought ye would ken better than this an’ yet ye never thought tae mention it.”

“Samuel planned tae speak tae ye,” said Emmeline, keeping her voice calm and level. “I didnae think it was me place tae say somethin’.”

“Ye should have!” Their father said, and then ended that part of the conversation by turning back to Alicia. “Pray Laird MacTavish forgives ye fer this an’ allows an alliance without a marriage, otherwise ye’ll be responsible fer what will follow. An’ all because ye were so eager tae let yerself be ruined!”

“I wasnae ruined!” Alicia cried, throwing her hands wildly in the air. As she did, her fingers were caught on the edge of the necklace Samuel had given her and it flew off her neck, landing on the ground nearby.

“What is that?” her father asked, but Alicia was too busy jumping off her horse and rushing to the necklace before she could lose it or it was trampled by her mare. She cradled it in her hand and held it close to her chest, even as her father dismounted his horse and approached her, all but wrestling it out of her hand.

When he saw the necklace, he fell silent, eyes widening just slightly. “Samuel gave ye this?”

“Aye,” said Alicia through gritted teeth as she reached for it and took it back, relieved that her father gave it to her with no arguments. “It’s a token o’ his love. But I dinnae expect ye tae understand.”

Putting the necklace back on, Alicia stomped to her horse and jumped onto the saddle, refusing to look at her father or exchange another word with him. When he silently climbed onto his horse, too, though, and the four of them made their way down the path once more without any further arguments, she glanced at him from the corner of her eye and found him pensive, lost in his thoughts.

After that, there were no more arguments.