A Heart to Bear (Bear Creek Forever #4)

Chapter Six – Dougray

She didn’t seem as shocked as I’d feared. Elation flooded Dougray’s veins as relief consumed him. When he’d sensed Tammy in the forest, he’d been torn between showing her his true self and giving her time to adjust to her new life here.

But the closer she got to him, the harder it was to turn away.

Our mate already knew about shifters. His bear shared the same elation. And I’m certain she knew we were mates the first time we touched. She just needed time to process.

“My uncle taught me about shifters when he thought I was old enough to handle the knowledge without blurting it out to anyone,” Tammy began. “Particularly to my mom. Who, as open-minded as she is, in so many ways, would not react well to learning people can shift into animals.”

“I hoped you already knew,” Dougray said. “And when you saw me and didn’t react like you’d seen a bear, even though one was standing right there in front of you, I figured Gavin must have told you.”

“I was surprised when I saw you standing there, but not scared,” Tammy admitted, her eyes softening as she gazed at Dougray. “I felt you. I was going to take the other hiking trail, but something told me to come this way. It’s like…my soul recognized yours.”

“We are connected.” He pressed his lips together as if holding back.

“Say it.”

“I…” He inhaled deeply. “But this afternoon when we were with Lucy, I sensed there was… That something had happened to you.”

“Happened to me.” She tensed and wrapped her arms around her body.

“There was a moment when I was sure I saw pain flicker in your eyes.” He raised his hand as if wanting to reach out and comfort her. “Pain like you’d lost someone.”

She rocked forward and looked down at her feet as she scuffed the dried leaves beneath her feet. “You got all that from a flicker in my eyes.”

“Am I wrong?” His gruff voice held so much emotion it made her heart squeeze.

“No,” she whispered hoarsely.

“I’m sorry,” he took a step closer to her.

“No one died.” She raised her head and locked eyes with his. “I was supposed to be married in a few days. But a week ago, my fiancé chose a new job over our wedding.”

How could he! Dougray’s bear roared in his head. How could he cause her so much pain?

But if he hadn’t, Dougray told his bear, Tammy would not be standing in front of us right now.

She’d be lost to us forever, his bear said miserably, torn between wanting to avenge any hurt caused to their mate and wanting her in their lives.

“I’m sorry,” Dougray finally said.

“Are you?” Tammy must have been having the same thoughts.

“I’m sorry for your pain, your loss…” His voice trailed off.

Tammy’s eyes searched his face, looking for any sign of insincerity. Finding none, she nodded slowly. “Thank you. I appreciate you must have mixed feelings about the whole thing.”

“I know your uncle told you about shifters, about how we change from one form to another, but how much did he tell you about fated mates?” Dougray asked.

She shrugged, still hugging herself, and he wanted to wrap his arms around her and draw her close, chasing away her pain. “That we’re bonded together forever. That there will never be anyone for you…but me.”

“And did he also tell you that I would rather experience the pain of losing you than for you to be unhappy?” He hoped she could sense his sincerity.

“Are you really saying that if Peter, my ex-fiancé, walked back into my life tomorrow and made things up with me, that you would let me go with your blessing?” She didn’t believe him.

And I hope it’s not something we ever have to prove to her, his bear said.

“If that’s where your heart lies.” Dougray gave a short laugh and ran his hand through his hair. “I did not say I would be happy about it.”

It would feel as if someone had carved our heart out with a spoon, his bear rumbled.

But still, we would let her go, Dougray said.

We would. His bear hung his head.

Even the thought of it made his stomach churn and Dougray took a deep breath to steady himself. “But, Tammy, I hope you understand that seeing you happy is what matters most to me. Even if it means sacrificing my own happiness.”

Tammy took a step closer to Dougray, her arms falling to her sides. “I... I believe you.”

“And that is the other thing about me. I cannot lie to you.”

“Never?”

“Not unless it was to save you from pain.”

“Don’t you ever feel as if fate is stacked against you?”

“No.”

Tammy blinked, surprised by his certainty. “How can you say that when the mating bond leaves you so vulnerable?”

Dougray’s answer was firm. “Because the mating bond isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. It’s a gift that allows us to love more deeply and completely than we ever could otherwise.”

“Well, I guess when you put it like that.” She gave a nervous smile but seemed to relax. “I suppose there’s something comforting about that kind of certainty.”

“I don’t want you to just take my word for it,” Dougray said. “I aim to spend the rest of my life proving to you that it’s not all talk.”

“This is just crazy.” She put her hand to her head. “We’ve just met, and you are making these enormous promises.”

And she’s just been dumped by a man who she thought she could trust, who probably promised her forever, his bear said.

But this is different. We are different, Dougray answered.

Actions speak louder than words, as our dad always says, his bear answered.

Yeah, usually when one of us boys managed to get ourselves into trouble, Dougray said.

Like the time you and Ezra accidentally let the goats out of their pen, and they found their way into Mom’s vegetable garden, his bear reminded him.

Oh yeah. Dougray chuckled at the memory. As much as we apologized, words would not undo the damage, but weeks of hard work after school did the trick.

This time we have to undo the damage done by someone else, his bear told him.

And he was right. No matter how long it took. Days, weeks, months, or years, they would mend Tammy’s heart and show her they were worthy of her love. And her trust.

“They are promises I intend to keep,” Dougray finally said.

“I should get back.” She didn’t turn away from him, at least not physically, but it was as if the distance between them had widened. “Uncle Gavin will be wondering where I am.”

“Can I walk you?” Dougray took a tentative step forward, hoping she was not going to completely shut him out.

Tammy hesitated, a guarded look on her face, and then she gave a single nod. “Sure.”

One step at a time, his bear said.

That’s the only way forward, Dougray replied as he followed Tammy toward the edge of the clearing.

“I can’t see the way.” She stopped and looked at him. “It’s too dark to see the trail.”

“Allow me.” Dougray stepped ahead, his keen eyes adjusting easily to the growing darkness. The forest was alive with familiar nocturnal sounds—rustling leaves, a distant owl’s call, and the soft whisper of the wind through the branches. They were the soundtrack to his late-night wonderings when he dreamed of a mate to share his life with.

And here she was. By his side at last.

He stepped carefully over the uneven ground, aware of Tammy’s presence close behind him. It was as if every atom in his body was attuned to hers.

“Careful.” His arm shot out as she trod on a fallen branch that snapped, sending her tumbling forward.

Dougray caught Tammy easily, his strong arms wrapping around her waist. For a moment, they stood frozen, bodies pressed together in the darkness. Tammy’s breath hitched, and Dougray could hear her heart racing, matching the rapid tempo of his own.

“Thanks.” She didn’t try to pull away, and he closed his eyes, reveling in the nearness of her as the scent of her warm skin filled his nostrils.

She was as intoxicating as wild honey, and he longed to lower his head and capture her lips. To taste her for the first time.

But he resisted, knowing it wasn’t the right moment. Dougray gently set her back on her feet, his hands lingering a second longer than necessary before letting go. “You’re welcome,” he murmured.

They continued down the path in silence. There was an awkwardness between them that he wanted to claw away and tear to shreds. There should be no barriers between a shifter and their mate.

Dougray breathed out and let go of the tension building inside him. Just as when he first handled a wild horse, he had to take it slow. He knew that he had to be patient and take things slowly; rushing could result in ruining their relationship forever.

“How is Gavin?” Dougray asked. “He looked tired as you left.”

The question seemed so ordinary, compared to the words that he wanted to say to her. But anything was better than the silence that stretched between them.

“He’s at home, reading one of his favorite books,” she replied.

“He had a lucky escape from his run-in with the bull,” Dougray said.

“I know.” Tammy gave him a sideways glance. “He’s as tough as old boots, or so he’d like everyone to think. So when I arrived here, I half thought he was making it up.”

“You thought he was offering you a…a sanctuary.”

“A sanctuary.” She mused over this for a moment as they walked on. “Yes, I suppose you could call it that. But I was wrong. He really has hurt his ankle.”

“I was surprised to hear what happened,” Dougray said.

“How so?” She turned to look at him. Even in the dark of the forest, he could see her face in the moonlight that shone down from the heavens.

“Old Ma Hinchcliffe’s bull is usually one of the gentlest animals in town. He’s like a pet dog with her, and normally stands patiently while she fusses about him.” Dougray had been over to Old Ma Hinchcliffe’s farm more times than he could count, and the bull was a real sweetheart. And Dougray had never thought to use that word when describing a two-thousand-pound bull.

“So, his behavior was out of character?” Tammy asked.

“Definitely.” Dougray nodded.

“Maybe I should head over there tomorrow and check him out,” Tammy said. “Just in case there was an underlying reason for him to act that way.”

“I could come with you,” he blurted out without thinking.

“You don’t think a woman can handle a bull?” Tammy challenged.

“Nope, Old Ma Hinchcliffe is proof of that,” Dougray said.

Nice recovery, his bear complimented.

“But I’ve known that bull for years….”

“I would enjoy your company,” Tammy said, and he sensed her smiling. “On one condition.”

“One condition?” he asked.

“You stop worrying that you are going to say or do the wrong thing.” She stopped walking, and he turned to face her. “Like I said, I don’t know if I am ready for this.” She waved her hand back and forth between them. “But whatever is holding me back is something I have to deal with. In the meantime, why don’t we get to know each other.”

“Getting to know each other is good…” He cracked a wide smile. “Great, even.”

“But slowly,” she replied.

“As slow as you like,” he agreed. “No pressure.”

“All right then,” she tilted her head to one side as she looked at him. “Tell me something about yourself that most people don’t know.”

Dougray hesitated, caught off guard by her request. He rubbed the back of his neck, considering. “Well, I... I have five brothers and countless cousins. I think they know most things about me.”

“Do they?” she asked, her voice husky, inviting. “There must be something.”

He cracked a wide smile. “They don’t know how much I really want to kiss you right now.”

She chuckled and punched him lightly in the chest. “Deep answer.”

“You didn’t say it had to be deep,” he replied lightly.

“No, I did not.” She let out a long breath. “And maybe that’s what I need right now. Lightness.”

“I can be light,” he replied. “But not shallow. I don’t do shallow.”

“Neither do I, Dougray.” Her bottom lip trembled and the urge to kiss her took hold of him once more.

She smiled a shy smile and turned away, following the well-worn path back toward her uncle’s farm.

As they walked, Dougray’s soul soared as high as the distant mountain peaks.

They had done it. They had taken the first step forward, which truly did feel like a giant leap.

As they emerged from the forest, the lights on Gavin’s porch glowed warmly in the distance. Tammy slowed her pace, and Dougray matched it, savoring these last moments together.

“Thank you for walking me back,” Tammy said, staring at the lights as if they were calling her home.

“You are welcome.” He shoved his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to her as they reached Gavin’s well-tended garden. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll arrange a visit to see the bull and then let you know the details,” she told him. “Is there any time that is best for you?”

“I can be free whenever you need me.”

She locked eyes with his and then leaned forward, pressing her lips to his cheek, before she slipped away and disappeared into the darkness.

Dougray had never been happier than he was in that moment.

And this is just the beginning, his bear said.