A Highland Family Affair (Highlands #3)

Chapter 4

4

Olivia and Brodie sat snuggled up on the squashy burgundy sofa in the drawing room, Olivia’s favourite room in the whole castle thanks to the fond memories of family times that the old stone walls held. The fire was roaring, and the flames danced around the huge logs that had been stacked in the grate by Dougie earlier in the day.

Brodie had suggested an eighties movie marathon which had surprised Olivia. They had already watched St Elmo’s Fire and Some Kind of Wonderful .

‘You never cease to amaze me, you’re such a romantic,’ she said as they were part way through the film Say Anything with a fresh-faced John Cusack playing a gawky but cute Lloyd Dobler.

‘They don’t make romance movies like they used to,’ he replied. ‘There was something so wholesome about John Hughes films and directors of that ilk.’

‘I just never would have taken you for an eighties movies kind of guy,’ she said with a shake of her head. ‘You weren’t even born when they came out.’

‘No, but my mum was a sucker for Rob Lowe and John Cusack, so we used to go to the cinema whenever they showed old movies. I suppose they remind me of happier times when my mum and dad’s marriage hadn’t started to fall apart.’

Olivia squeezed his arm. She had been lucky that her parents had always adored each other, whereas Brodie had known what it was to watch his family crumble. He had been moved to Edinburgh when his parents had split and that’s when she and he had lost touch. Until that point he had lived with his parents in the groundskeeper’s cottage in the boundary walls of the castle.

Lloyd Dobler was now standing outside Ione Skye’s character Diane Court’s house holding a boom box over his head.

‘Ahhh, I love this song,’ Brodie said with a sigh as Peter Gabriel accompanied Lloyd’s attempts to win the girl’s heart with the ridiculously romantic song ‘In Your Eyes’.

It brought back memories for Olivia too that made her eyes sting a little. ‘Oh, yes, me too. My dad used to play Peter Gabriel’s “So” all the time in the car. It’s a beautiful song. Very emotional,’ she agreed as she listened to the heartfelt lyrics.

Brodie stroked her arm. ‘At the risk of sounding soppy…’ He paused, clearly unsure about speaking his feelings.

‘I love soppy, go on.’

He turned to face her, his head resting on the sofa back. ‘This song… the lyrics… They say how I feel about you… about us.’ He reached up to stroke her face and a wide smile tilted up her lips. He rolled his eyes and covered them with his hand. ‘That sounded so much better in my head. You think I’m pathetic now, don’t you?’

She reached up and pulled his hand down. ‘Not at all. I agree. It could’ve been written for us,’ she whispered.

He leaned forward and kissed her. ‘I forgot to say that the contractors are booked to mend the slipped slates on the west wing of the castle. He said that there has been some water ingress in the attic rooms, but I think Innes said that he was sure all the valuable and sentimental things had been moved prior to Lady Freya’s death.’

Olivia sighed. ‘Oh, gosh, I really hope so. When will we be able to get in there and check?’

‘It’s all weather dependent really, but they are hopefully doing the repairs next week.’

She kissed his chin. ‘Thank you so much for taking all that stuff on. I really appreciate it.’

He smiled. ‘No thanks needed. I’m happy to be getting involved. I feel like I’m really part of the place now.’

‘You are part of the place, Brodie. You always have been as far as I’m concerned.’

‘That’s so good to hear.’ Then, as if to change the mood, he announced, ‘I’m taking you out on Saturday night.’

Olivia’s heart skipped. ‘You are? What’s the occasion?’

He shrugged. ‘We haven’t been out in a while. And I figured with Bella leaving, Skye being all tied up with decorating her new house and Harper being all the way over in New York you might like a night out to cheer you up. The only downside is you’ll have to put up with me instead of your best friends.’

She snuggled back into his side again. If this was going to be a proposal, he was giving nothing away. ‘You’re my best friend too. So, where are we going? Or is it a surprise?’

‘I’ve booked the Glenmoriston Town House for seven thirty. Is that okay?’

It was a venue she had always loved. Sitting on the banks of the River Ness, the pretty bay-windowed building was only a short walk from the city centre she loved dearly. She smiled. ‘That’s perfect. Thank you.’ She was relieved that if this was his proposal, it meant he hadn’t booked some elaborate, ridiculous and embarrassing event. Although she would’ve been happy if he’d proposed to her on the number 307 bus to Inverness if truth be told.

He pulled her around into his lap. ‘I think you should wear that navy-blue dress with the lace across the top. I love you in that dress.’

She rested her forehead on his. ‘I might just do that.’

He grinned. ‘I might just like it if you do. And I might just enjoy helping you out of it at the end of the evening.’ He pulled her down and kissed her passionately, and she closed her eyes as her whole body tingled. He ran his hand up and under the fabric of her sweater and caressed the bare skin of her back, sending shivers down her spine.

The door opened and Olivia gasped and almost jumped from Brodie’s lap like a kid caught with her hand in the biscuit barrel.

Kerr’s eyes widened, and he gasped. ‘Shit, sorry, I… I was just coming to ask if it’s okay for me to have some of the stovies Mirren made earlier,’ he said as his face turned cerise.

Brodie scowled and snapped, ‘Ever heard of knocking, mate?’

Kerr held up his hands. ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t think. I’ll… I’ll go.’

Olivia sighed. ‘It’s okay, Kerr, and yes, you can have some of the stovies.’

He gave a brief nod and left the room.

Brodie laid his head back on the sofa and ran his hands through his shaggy dark hair. ‘Jeez oh. That could’ve been very embarrassing.’

Guilt tugged at Olivia’s insides. She reached up and stroked the soft, dark beard on Brodie’s chin. ‘I’m sorry about this. About him being here like this.’

He pulled her closer and wrapped his arm around her, so her head rested on his shoulder. ‘No, don’t be. It’s my fault for forgetting he was here. I should have been more considerate. And he’s your brother. Technically this is his home too, more so than mine.’

She pulled away. ‘Hey, that’s not true. This is your home now. I want you to feel at ease here. We should be able to get a wee bit carried away in our own home.’ She paused for a moment. ‘I think I’ll ask him to move back to the town house. There’s no reason he should be here, not really.’

Brodie sighed deeply. ‘No, don’t do that, Liv. Maybe let’s put down some ground rules instead. I get the feeling he needs to be here at the moment, maybe to help his recovery. I mean he has issues that need to be addressed. I think we should give him a few days to decompress and then maybe talk to him about seeking some help for his gambling and alcohol addictions.’

Olivia nodded. ‘Yes… yes, I think that’s a good idea.’

Brodie shuffled to the edge of the sofa, grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV then stood, holding out his hand. ‘Now, maybe we should head up to our room and finish what we started.’ He smiled that sexy Keanu Reeves smile that turned her insides to jelly.

She took his hand. ‘That sounds like a plan,’ she replied.

The following morning was a Friday and Olivia woke to find Brodie’s side of the bed empty. A quick glance at her phone told her it was just past eight in the morning. He was no doubt out with the dogs in the castle grounds before the gate opened to the public at ten. She stretched and stepped out of bed to make her way across the wide oak-planked floor of the large room to the window. She flung open the curtains and gazed out at the view. Off in the distance she could see a small herd of deer, antlers bobbing as they munched at the chestnuts and berries that had fallen to the ground. It was a view she cherished and used to enjoy sharing with her mother.

The Victorian addition of floor-to-ceiling windows and balconies to some bedrooms had made the castle appear more like a stately home these days, it was only when she turned and surveyed the interior of her room that it was still evident it was a castle. The stone had been left exposed on two walls, although, treated to eradicate the damp many years ago, it wasn’t as cold as it would have been when her ancestors had lived here. The mahogany-framed bed with its intricate and ornate carvings was another relic of the past, only this time it was the Georgian era. Little metal escutcheons towards the bottom of the bed showed where, with the correct key, the frame could be dismantled in order for the owner to take it with them when they travelled; a fact that Olivia still found hilarious. Talk about taking everything but the kitchen sink.

The other two walls had been panelled with mahogany but in the mid-to-late 2000s, teenage Olivia had horrified her parents when they had returned from a trip overseas to find that she had painted the panelling in a sunny yellow. She had been watching reruns of Changing Rooms with Bella and her granny and had come up with the crazy idea to decorate her room as a surprise for her mum and dad. Suffice it to say surprise was an understatement.

The Georgian mahogany, she discovered a little too late, had been imported by her ancestors from the Caribbean. She justified her actions later, however, when she found that many such plantations used enslaved people to do their dirty work, they were treated so badly in most situations and this extra discovery made Olivia sick to her stomach, so she figured her painting the mahogany was one in the eye for the so-called money-grabbing slave masters.

These days it was painted a more subtle shade of cream from the Farrow & Ball chart. Still sacrilege according to design guru Bella, who favoured the idea of stripping the wood back to its natural state. But this room now belonged to her and Brodie and they had briefly discussed making it more to their joint tastes, although they hadn’t quite got any further than a couple of paint samples being bought and some framed artwork that had yet to be hung.

Olivia made her bed, showered and dressed in black yoga pants and a long-sleeved pink top and made her way down to the kitchen. Mirren had Fridays off these days so she and Dougie would no doubt have plans that didn’t involve the castle.

She made a fresh pot of coffee and stood at the kitchen window overlooking the castle grounds. The window had been knocked in as part of an update in the Victorian era and was totally out of keeping with the castle but, in spite of its ugliness, Olivia liked the fact that she could watch the birds through the glass and see the sky-reaching oak trees swaying in the breeze. The sky looked heavy as if perhaps snow was on the way, and this made butterflies set about dancing in her stomach. The castle was already a picture-postcard vista in its own right, but there was something magical about the stonework being dusted with a white glistening covering of snow.

‘Ahem.’ Kerr cleared his throat as he entered the room. ‘Is there any more coffee, sis?’

Olivia turned to face him. He was wearing a pair of his old pyjamas that were now far too big on his slender frame. He’d had to draw them in at the waist. Sir Lancelot was standing dutifully beside his adopted master, gazing up at him, his fringe now neatly cut after a trip to the vets and groomers.

Olivia smiled and nodded. ‘Sure is. I’ve only just made it, help yourself. There’s some home-made bread if you fancy some toast too.’

He clapped his hands once and rubbed them together. ‘Do I ever?’ Once he had poured his coffee and buttered his toast he sat at the battered old table. After every couple of mouthfuls, he handed a piece to Sir Lancelot, who gently took the food, to Olivia’s surprise. Considering she had guessed he hadn’t been fed overly regularly, she expected a little more greed and aggression. The dog had clearly been trained well.

Olivia sat opposite him. ‘I think we need to talk,’ she said.

He placed down his toast and nodded. He swallowed his mouthful and replied, ‘If it’s about last night, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t think. I feel terrible and I’m sure Brodie isn’t too pleased with me, but I can assure you it won’t happen again.’

Olivia sighed and placed down her mug. ‘It’s not just that, Kerr. I think… I think you and I need to talk about you and the real reason you’re here. Why you’ve had this massive change of heart. And how we move forward as siblings. I also think we maybe need to have some ground rules if you’re going to stay here for any length of time.’

‘Oh… I see. I presume Brodie has asked you to speak to me.’

Olivia crumpled her brow. ‘No. I’m my own person, Kerr. And this castle is my responsibility. This business is my responsibility. I have to know that you’re not here to sabotage things again. I know you’ve said that’s not the case, but I have to be able to believe you.’

He lowered his head. ‘And you don’t.’

She shook her head. ‘Can you blame me?’

He lifted his chin. ‘Not at all. I’ve said that before, haven’t I? I know I have to earn your trust again. And I know that won’t happen overnight, but I’d love for you to give me a chance. I’ll do anything. Give me a job to do. Let me help out, earn my keep so to speak.’

Her nostrils flared. ‘You were given a job, albeit not by me, for the fashion show, remember? You were supposedly in charge of the guest-list invites, thanks to Bella being far too trusting. You didn’t send out a single one . You purposely tried to ruin everything, Kerr, so, forgive me if I’m not rushing to find things for you to do around the castle.’

He held up his hands. ‘I know and I berate myself every day for what I did. It was childish, selfish and stupid. And I’m truly sorry.’

There was a long pause before Olivia asked, ‘Why did you do it, Kerr? I still don’t understand.’

He rubbed his hands over his face and back through his messy hair. ‘I was angry. I’ve always been angry, I think. You were always allowed to go off and do your own thing whilst, as the original heir to this place, I was expected to toe the line. Mum and Dad always seemed to be praising you. “Our wonderful Olivia has achieved this grade” or “Olivia is so creative and so good at…” whatever the hell it was. I felt excluded. Like I wasn’t as important as you. Or as good as you. So, I think I started to live up to that. And then when Mum changed her will and you inherited Drumblair I lost it. I couldn’t see straight. I was jealous and filled with this rage that I couldn’t aim anywhere. I’d spent my whole life gearing up to take over the place, it was all I knew. I’d been to university and gained a first-class degree that I’ve never even used because it wasn’t really necessary. I’ve never had anything to call my own and this place was going to be that for me. Or so I thought. And then you and Brodie found each other, and I was still trying to figure out what the hell love even felt like.’ He shook his head. ‘Nothing felt fair.’

‘But before the will reading you were talking about selling bits off, so it wouldn’t have been yours anyway,’ Olivia said with a scrunch of her brow.

He stared at the food on his plate. ‘That was the drink and gambling addictions talking. I would’ve come to my senses.’ He scowled and shook his head. ‘It’s irrelevant anyway now. But… I blamed you for everything.’

Olivia’s eyes were wide, and her heart was thumping at her ribs on hearing Kerr’s truth for the first time. ‘And now?’

His eyebrows gathered inwards, and his shoulders slumped. ‘I have so many regrets, Liv. I put gambling and drinking before Mum so it’s obvious to me now why she made the decisions she did. But at the time I couldn’t accept it. In my warped mind it was my right and you stole that from me, so I continued to put everything and anything before my relationship with you. But in doing so I lost everything worth living for.’ He shrugged and tears spilled over onto his cheeks, but he made no effort to wipe them away. ‘The truth is, I’ve never really loved anyone or allowed myself to feel loved. I think I saw it as a sign of weakness. Bloody macho pride. But I know now that’s not the case. I know that crying and showing love aren’t signs of weakness. They’re strengths. And I know you always loved me, and Mum and Dad too, and even Adaira and Bella. But because I eventually loathed myself, I couldn’t accept that love, couldn’t understand it. I detested who I’d become. I was this stereotypical evil brother like a character from a book or a movie. A caricature. Looking back, I can see that I let my anger eat away at me and turn me into this twisted, poor excuse of a human being.’ He swiped the moisture from his face with his sleeve. ‘I’ve wasted so much time. I just wish I could go back and change things, but I can’t. So, all I can do is look forward and change from here.’

Olivia reached across the table and took his hand. ‘Thank you for being honest with me.’

He placed his other hand on top of hers. ‘It’s the least I can do, Olivia. After the way I’ve treated everyone, especially you.’

‘Why did you come here instead of going to the town house?’

He gave a light laugh and wiped away more tears. ‘I wanted you to see me at my lowest. I wanted you to see that I had no pride left. If I could come here looking like a tramp, you would see that I was serious. But instead, it just looked like I was playing the sympathy card.’ He shook his head. ‘Can’t even get that right.’ He closed his eyes and inhaled a calming breath. When he opened his eyes again, they were filled with a firm resolve. ‘If you want me to move back to the town house, I will. Whatever’s best for you. I can understand that you and Brodie want your own space. Your garden’s overrun with the public a few days a week at the moment, and it won’t be long before the daily castle tours begin again.’

She shook her head. ‘No, you don’t have to leave. But you do need to seek help for your gambling and drinking. That’s my one stipulation. My one deal-breaker, if you will. The gambling has been an issue for years now and it’s clear from your appearance that you’ve been relying on alcohol to numb your pain. Will you seek help, Kerr? Can I trust you to do that? I’m happy to come with you if necessary.’

He nodded. ‘Yes. I’ll do it. I’ll find groups or counselling or whatever’s needed.’ He fixed her with a determined gaze and squeezed her hand. ‘You can trust me.’

She smiled. ‘Good. Then you’re welcome to stay for as long as you feel you need to.’

He exhaled a rush of air and smiled widely. ‘Thank you. Thank you so much. And I meant what I said about helping around the place. I have no clue what I’m even good at. But I’ll do whatever you need.’

‘That’s really kind of you but I think, for now at least, you need to focus on getting well. Rebuilding your strength. Find yourself before you start trying to help.’

His smile disappeared. ‘Okay. But the offer still remains.’ He stood from the table and patted his leg. ‘Come on, Lancey, let’s go leave Olivia to her day.’ He turned his attention back to his sister. ‘I’ll be in the library if you need me. I fancy reading a book.’ The comment seemed to surprise him. ‘I haven’t done that in a very long time.’

Olivia smiled. ‘Enjoy. And help yourself to tea or coffee, or snacks.’ She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. ‘God, I sound like a bed-and-breakfast host speaking to a guest. I’m sorry, Kerr. This is still your family home, so treat it as such.’

He gave a sad smile. ‘It doesn’t feel that way, but I appreciate you saying that.’ He turned and left the room.

Once he had gone, Olivia let out a huge sigh. The emotion and confusion of having her brother home, and him being such a changed man, was a little overwhelming. And in spite of his protestations, she still couldn’t help the doubt that fluttered around her mind like an annoying fly. She wanted more than anything to fully believe in him. But she felt that Brodie was still right about them being cautious. And at least having him at the castle for a while meant she could keep a close eye on him. She was determined to make sure he sought the help he needed. And to make sure he stuck to whatever plan was necessary to ensure he succeeded in getting well again.