A Highland Family Affair (Highlands #3)

Chapter 19

19

On the Friday evening that followed her return from her hen weekend, Olivia greeted Charlotte at the main door of the castle with Brodie, and Kerr came down from his room to join them. Sir Lancelot had joined the other two dogs on the rug by the fire in the drawing room and they were all snoozing soundly after a long walk and hours of play fighting.

Charlotte looked lovely in black trousers and a teal V-neck sweater and Kerr had made an effort too with dark jeans and a smart shirt. He was fidgeting with his collar, and it was evident he was nervous. He was looking healthier these days and had put on a little weight. Since he had been dating Charlotte, he’d had a spring in his step too and Olivia felt good about her decision to loosen the reins on her brother. He was proving himself in every way. It was clear, in his case at least, that leopards could change their spots.

‘Thank you so much for inviting me for dinner,’ Charlotte said as she handed over a bottle of wine.

‘It’s lovely to have you here,’ Olivia said as she hugged her PA, who had become more of a friend in recent months.

Kerr kissed Charlotte on the cheek, and she blushed. ‘You look lovely, Charlotte,’ he told her.

‘So do you,’ she replied, suddenly shy.

‘Come on through to the kitchen, guys. I’m afraid you’re stuck with my culinary delights this evening. I plumped for moussaka, I hope that’s okay,’ Brodie said as he led the way.

‘Ooh, yum. One of my favourite dishes,’ Charlotte said. ‘Reminds me of our family holidays to Greece.’ As if deciding to mention her ex wasn’t the best idea, she added, ‘Will and I had some lovely holidays together when he was little.’

‘I hear Will’s enjoying working at the nursery,’ Olivia said as they sat. ‘Kerr says he’s been a great help with looking after the saplings.’

Charlotte beamed. ‘He’s loving it. He’s decided he wants to go into horticulture of some kind and is even looking into university courses for the future. I have Kerr to thank for that.’

Kerr’s eyes lit up. ‘He’s such a great kid. So happy to get stuck in no matter how cold or muddy it is up there.’

‘Another credit to your coaching, Kerr,’ Charlotte said with a squeeze to his hand.

The meal went on and conversation flowed well, as did the wine for some of the group. Kerr, of course, was drinking sparkling water and had insisted before the dinner that he was fine with everyone else drinking wine. Olivia, however, had refrained simply to show a little solidarity with her sober brother.

As the evening wore on, Charlotte began to loosen up as she had on the hen weekend, and her sense of humour came out. The four friends were laughing and sharing anecdotes with Charlotte about working at the castle.

It was Brodie’s turn to share. ‘The funniest thing for me was when I had to rescue a grown man from the zip wire in the kids’ play area,’ he said in between laughs. ‘He was terrified. It had stopped midway and even though the drop to the ground wasn’t massive – I mean it’s made for kids – he just froze and was clinging on for dear life! His kids were pointing and laughing, and his wife was having a right go at him. He was virtually cerise and so embarrassed. Me and Dad had to take a stepladder out to help him down. He was really apologetic at first but when he was down, he threatened to sue because apparently it was unsafe. I reckon he was trying to save face.’

‘It’s a good thing I was a bit more diplomatic with him,’ Olivia added. ‘He calmed down when I pointed out that the signs around the zip wire clearly stated a maximum height and weight and that perhaps his weight as a grown man on a ride designed for children wasn’t the best thing for keeping up momentum.’

‘Oh, my word! That’s hilarious!’ Charlotte said as she giggled. ‘Will was always terrified of zip wires and things like that. But I suppose he never really had a dad to show him the ropes, so to speak. Tabor wasn’t interested in playing.’ The mood took a downturn and the friends fell silent. Charlotte turned to Kerr. ‘That’s why I wish he’d known you from being young. It’s clear it would have made such a difference to him.’ Her chin trembled.

Kerr took her hand. ‘Hey, don’t get upset about that. It can’t be helped.’

It was evident to Olivia the wine was talking and Charlotte was becoming emotional again, just as she had at the hen weekend.

Charlotte sniffed. ‘But it can , Kerr. That’s the thing. I could’ve told you about him. But I made assumptions about you that I now know were wrong.’

Kerr’s face crumpled in evident confusion. ‘You didn’t know me back when William was born, so how could you have told me?’

Charlotte’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. ‘I did know of you. I knew who you were.’

Kerr gave a strange, befuddled laugh. ‘What would you have done, come up to me and said, “Hello, Mr Random Stranger, who I don’t know from Adam, my baby son would really benefit from knowing you”?’

Charlotte turned to fully face him. Tears were streaming down her face now. ‘I should have told you that I was pregnant, Kerr. I should have given you a chance to know him.’

Olivia watched with wide eyes, and she shared a brief, bewildered glance with Brodie. What the hell was unfolding here? Brodie reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it.

The colour disappeared from Kerr’s face. ‘I’m sorry, Charlotte, but you’re making no sense. I didn’t know you when William was born. And quite frankly you’re sounding a bit stalkerish.’ He laughed nervously, trying to make light of what had become a very bizarre situation.

She wiped at her face with her hands. ‘Do you honestly not recognise me at all?’

Kerr’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. ‘Of course I do. You’re Charlotte, Olivia’s PA.’ His look of surprise crumpled again. ‘What’s…’ He shook his head. ‘What’s going on with you?’ He turned to Olivia and Brodie and gestured at Charlotte. ‘This is why I no longer drink. People make no sense when they drink.’ A look of panic had taken over his expression and he glanced at the door, evidently looking to make an escape.

Apparently oblivious to his bewilderment, Charlotte continued, ‘Do you remember when you came down to London with your friends before your graduation? You met a girl who was studying business and finance at University of London but was working behind the bar in one of the pubs you visited. She was blonde and quite shy. She had a bird tattoo on her wrist. You shared a night with her at her digs and left the next day without saying goodbye.’

Kerr scrunched his brow and rubbed his hands over his face. ‘No, Charlotte, I was drinking heavily back then. I vaguely remember a one-night stand with a girl but that wasn’t you. She was called Lizzie or Liza or something like that. And she looked nothing like you. And you don’t have a tattoo.’

Charlotte reached into her handbag and pulled out a photo. She handed it to Kerr. ‘Eliza. That’s my given name. When I found out I was pregnant, I contacted my parents in Dornoch, but they were so angry. They pretty much disowned me so I couldn’t go home to them. I was ashamed I had let it happen, so I decided I needed to start over where nobody knew me. I literally put a finger on the map and wherever my finger landed, that was where I decided to go. I moved to Hampshire and started going by my middle name. My parents eventually came around, and I could’ve moved north but I had already met Tabor at the stables I was working at in the New Forest by then.’

Kerr shook his head. ‘You see, that doesn’t ring true. How can a pregnant woman work at a riding stables? Isn’t that dangerous?’ He threw the photo on the table. Olivia stared at it. It showed him as a roughly twenty-one-year-old with a blonde woman on his lap who distinctly looked like Charlotte. Her arm was raised in a wave at the photographer, so her wrist was facing the camera and, just as she had mentioned, there was a little hummingbird tattooed there. They were sitting in a pub, so Olivia surmised it must have been the night they met. But that didn’t explain the lack of a tattoo on Charlotte’s wrist.

Charlotte shrugged. ‘I was on light duties at the stables. I didn’t really go near the horses until after Will was born. I was polishing saddles and tack and such. Tabor owned the place, and at first, he took pity on me and gave me the job but then he took a shine to me. I was grateful for his attention, and he made me feel safe. Oh, and look.’ She took a cloth napkin and rubbed at her wrist to reveal a tiny hummingbird tattoo underneath what Olivia could now see was concealer. ‘I never stopped thinking about you, though, Kerr. That’s partly why my marriage didn’t work. You were my one that got away .’ She smiled but it seemed sinister now, somehow. ‘And now we’ve reconnected, look how good we are together. We could be a family now.’

Kerr pushed his chair away from the table and held up his hands. ‘Whoa, sorry but this is all a bit far-fetched. It’s like something out of a bloody magazine. Have you sold your story or something? Making me out to be the bad guy in a situation that has nothing to do with me.’ His voice became louder. ‘You’ve homed in on me because of this place, haven’t you? Drumblair Castle. Well, I’m sorry to say you’ve wasted your time. I’m not the heir.’ He jabbed a finger in his sister’s direction. ‘Olivia is. So, you can take your money-grabbing ideas and your ridiculous, twisted fantasy and you can leave. William isn’t my son. That’s absolutely preposterous. And totally fabricated.’

Charlotte rummaged in her bag again and pulled out a wallet. She flipped it open and showed a photo of her holding Will as a newborn. ‘This is the day Will was born. This was nine months after our… encounter. I can assure you I wasn’t sleeping around, Kerr. I wasn’t like that. I really liked you. I hoped I would see you again. But when you left, I was angry. Upset. But I knew who you were. And I knew where you were.’

‘A photo doesn’t prove anything,’ Kerr barked. ‘It’s just you and a baby. It’s not DNA, is it?’

‘We can do a paternity test if you like. I’ll prove it to you.’

Kerr ran his hands through his hair and gripped at the strands. ‘So let me get this straight. You’re telling me you were pregnant with my child, and you knew where I was but chose not to contact me to tell me I was going to be a father? How do you expect me to believe that?’

Charlotte was shaking now but she kept her gaze fixed on Kerr. ‘It was clear to me that back then you weren’t ready. You were still immature. I wanted someone to take responsibility and that’s why when I met Tabor, and he proposed, I jumped at the chance. He was older than me and financially stable, so he had the means to look after us. Even if there wasn’t any love there to speak of.’

Kerr’s expression contorted as if a bad smell had taken up root under his nose. ‘Who the hell are you to judge my level of maturity in a situation like that?’

Charlotte banged her hand on the table. ‘I’m his mother!’ she shouted. ‘I have every right to judge who is in Will’s life.’

Olivia stood. ‘I think we should leave and let you?—’

Kerr stood too. ‘You’ll do no such thing, Olivia. This is your home. It’s she that will be leaving.’ He pointed at Charlotte with aggression.

By now, Charlotte was sobbing. ‘Haven’t you realised how much he looks like you? He has your hair colour, your nose, your eyes.’

Kerr shook his head. ‘Why tell me now? Like this? Why today? And why in front of other people? Isn’t this something we should have talked about privately?’

Charlotte wiped at her face and fought to compose herself. ‘It wasn’t my intention to tell you tonight. The wine… I just… I’m sorry it’s happened this way.’

Now that Olivia thought about it, she could definitely see the resemblance. She placed her hand over her mouth and her own eyes clouded with tears. Kerr had missed out on so much and through no fault of his own. Perhaps if he had known about his son, he wouldn’t have gone off the rails. Maybe being a father would have had a bearing on the decisions he made.

Kerr fell silent, deep in thought, but his chest heaved as if he had run a marathon. Olivia wondered if he too was now seeing the similarities.

Charlotte reached out and gripped his arm. ‘Kerr, I wouldn’t lie to you about this.’

Kerr’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. Pain was evident in his eyes and Olivia’s heart ached for him. He closed his eyes for a moment and then in a strained voice said, ‘No, but you’d wait fourteen years before telling me I’m a father. What is that if not a lie by omission? How cruel can you be?’ His voice broke. ‘I can’t handle this right now. I… I have to get out of here.’ And with that, he stormed from the kitchen. Olivia could hear his footsteps pounding down the stone corridor and then seconds later the main oak doors to the castle slammed and he was gone.

Olivia glared at Charlotte as realisation hit home. ‘You used me and this job to get to my brother, didn’t you? And I trusted you. I thought your interest in Drumblair was genuine.’

‘It was genuine… It is genuine. I do love this place,’ Charlotte pleaded. ‘Working here is wonderful. Yes, it gave me a chance to get to know and check out Kerr, I needed to make sure he was a suitable person to be in my son’s life.’

‘Not only that but on my hen weekend you lied about Will’s father. You said you couldn’t remember who he was. And now this? How can I trust you now? How can any of us trust you?’

‘You can trust me. I couldn’t say anything back then. But I still want to work here.’

Olivia’s jaw tightened and she slowly shook her head. ‘After what you’ve done? I think you had better leave.’

‘I’ll… I’ll call a taxi,’ Brodie interjected, ever the gentleman.

Olivia didn’t speak, instead she ran from the castle to find her heartbroken brother.

Olivia had no idea how long had passed but she had checked the wooden cabin at the nursery, the walled garden and had walked around the castle grounds. It was dark now and she was using the torch from her phone to illuminate her way. There was no sign of Kerr, and she was worried. This was the kind of situation that could trigger a relapse in his drinking. If anything was going to make him want to turn to alcohol, it would be the shock of finding he was father to a fourteen-year-old he’d had no clue existed until now – and to top it off he had also discovered that the woman he was falling for had been lying to him. Olivia’s heart pounded in her chest and the cold was seeping into her bones. She hadn’t made time to grab a jacket, needing to just get out there to find Kerr.

A colony of bats were doing acrobatics overhead and every so often a couple would inquisitively venture closer to investigate the human walking in their night-time space. She heard owls conversing in their unique way across a distance; a toowit followed quickly by a corresponding toowoo. The wind picked up a little and the trees surrounding the castle rustled and swayed and Olivia wrapped her arms around her body and rubbed her elbows, trying to fend off the cold.

Eventually she made her way down to the chapel by the loch and noticed the windows glowing with amber light from inside. The door creaked as she opened it, stepped over the threshold and closed it again behind herself. Kerr was sitting on one of the pews staring up at the stained-glass window above the altar that was illuminated by the moonlight behind it. He had never been a particularly religious person and his presence here surprised her. Although it was a peaceful spot and a place that held so many family memories, perhaps he gained comfort from it as she did.

She walked down the aisle and slipped into the pew beside him. ‘There you are. I was worried. Are you okay?’ As soon as the question had fallen from her lips, she knew it was stupid. ‘I mean obviously you’re not okay .’

Kerr sniffed. He wasn’t one to cry so she knew his pain must have been great and deep. ‘It’s ironic, all this,’ he said with a humourless laugh. ‘I mean, look how I’ve treated people in the past and now look at me. Talk about getting my just deserts. It’s as if I’m being royally punished. Some would say I deserve this.’

‘Kerr, don’t think like that. This isn’t your fault.’

‘Really? That’s what you’re going with?’ He shook his head. ‘You of all people should be laughing right now.’

Olivia flared her nostrils. ‘Well, I’m not. And you can get thoughts like that out of your head. I don’t condone her for any of this. No one deserves this, Kerr. No one.’

He fell silent again, allowing tears to fall from the end of his chin and soak through his jeans. ‘Fourteen years, Olivia. She has known for fourteen years, and she chose to keep me out of his life.’ He sighed and wiped his face on his sleeve. ‘I’ve missed out on my own son growing up. His first steps, his first word, his first day at school, his first Christmas. All gone. Stolen from me because of her selfishness and given to some heartless man who didn’t even care.’

She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. ‘I know but she’s his mother. She was doing what she thought was best for him.’

He peered at her through bloodshot eyes. ‘So you are taking her side.’ There was that humourless laugh again.

Olivia shook her head vehemently. ‘Absolutely not. I’m just trying to understand it all. It’s such a shock, for all of us.’

He pointed towards the exit as if that’s where William was standing. ‘That laddie has been brought up by a man who didn’t give a shit about him. Can’t even call it an upbringing from what he’s told me about his stepfather. He hardly even spoke to him. Will felt so alone and isolated. They even talked about sending him to boarding school because it would be easier all round according to that arsehole of a man. Thankfully Charlotte, or whatever the hell her name is, fought him on that.’

‘Poor Will. He must have felt so unwanted. Although Charlotte – erm… Eliza? – clearly adores him.’

‘Oh, yeah, she adores him so much she’s kept his real father from him for his entire life to date.’

They sat in silence for a while. ‘What will you do now?’

Kerr shrugged. ‘Honestly? I have no idea. But me and Charlotte… we’re over. I can’t trust her after this.’ He clenched his jaw. ‘I was falling for her, Liv. Actually falling for her. She’s the first woman I’ve allowed to get close to me. I trusted her and I thought we had a future together. I thought she felt something for me too. Now I know she was just bloody checking me out for my parenting suitability and maintenance payments.’ Olivia couldn’t deny that fact when she had pretty much said that exact thing, although not about the money. He lowered his head and clenched his fists in his lap. ‘So much deception.’ He lifted his chin and his wide eyes met with Olivia’s. ‘Oh, God, and she dragged you into it all too! Lying her way into a job just so she could get access to me to suss me out. That’s so shitty. So underhanded. I’m so sorry you got pulled in, Liv.’

‘Hey, let’s not worry about that at the moment. I’ll find a new assistant. I’m more worried about you and how this is going to affect you.’

He shook his head. ‘I need to get away. I need to think all this through in a place where she isn’t. I have no idea if she’s planning on telling the boy who I am, but I need to be prepared for what comes next and I think time away is necessary.’

‘But Kerr, you’re doing so well with your sobriety, I’m scared that if you go away, you’ll relapse.’

He lowered his gaze again. ‘I searched the vestry for communion wine. There wasn’t any, thankfully. I don’t know why I thought there would be, there hasn’t been a communion service here for years. I’m glad there was none, though. It was a knee-jerk reaction. And I don’t want to relapse. Anyway, I have the tree surgery course. It’s just a few weeks in Yorkshire. I was supposed to go tomorrow anyway. I’ll take that time to think things through. I have some guys coming in to look after the nursery while I’m gone, they used to help Ali so they know the ropes. They’ll keep the weeds at bay and such.’

‘Look, the wedding is in four weeks and… I… I wasn’t planning on doing things this way, but I think you should know that… I want you to give me away…’

He lifted his gaze once more. ‘You do? But I presumed Innes…’ His eyebrows raised as the words sank in and a small smile appeared on his face. ‘You want me to do it?’

Olivia’s chin trembled and she nodded. ‘I was going to ask you this evening. I was going to ask Charlotte to be a bridesmaid too but that’s no longer happening.’

Kerr straightened his spine. ‘The wedding is on 22 April, isn’t it?’

Olivia nodded. ‘And the rehearsal at the cathedral is on the evening of the 19th. Will you be back by then?’

He turned to face her and pulled her into a hug. ‘I wouldn’t miss it for anything.’