A Kiss of Flame (Shadows Eternal #3)

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

B arith breathed in Levian’s soft scent of night jasmine and grumbled in his sleep-heavy state. Memories of his evening with the mage fluttered through in blurs—their entangled limbs, her tender kisses, the rhythm of their bodies as they came together. His heart swelled at the intense recollection. She shifted, pressing her side closer against him as she slept.

The dragon opened his heavy eyes, seeing that the curtains were thankfully cinched shut, as the sun had already risen well above the horizon. Levian was sprawled on her back, her dark red curls strewn across the linens, the side of her face resting against his arm, her mouth hanging open. Barith smirked. He’d seen the mage sleep hundreds, if not thousands, of times, but watching her now took on a different light.

Barith chuckled softly, remembering a particular time when she’d slept lying on top of him after a rather rowdy night of drinking. He’d woken with a wet puddle on his chest. He’d snarled about Levian’s inability to keep her mouth closed when she slept, and she’d snapped back that he wasn’t good for much, but at least he made a decent pillow.

She shifted at his rumbling, her violet eyes fluttering open sleepily. She grumbled at the light and shut her eyes again. He moved closer to cuddle her, lifting his wings, which now dangled off the side of the bed. Levian propped herself up hazily on her good elbow and yawned. “I’d forgotten how damned hot you get in your sleep,” she grumbled. “You’re an inferno.”

He smirked. “An inferno ye’ve used to keep you warm more than a few times, lass,” he quipped back.

“Desperate times,” she muttered drowsily.

Barith’s gaze wandered along the curves of her body, and his temperature rose even more. She growled with irritation when he wrapped his arm around her nakedness, laying a kiss beneath her ear. When his kiss turned into a nibble, she sighed with frustration and a hint of delight. He growled in response, sliding his hand along her stomach while he nuzzled her neck.

“You’re insufferable,” she told him, a smirk curling her lips, her eyes still closed.

His hand slid up, running over her breast, brushing her peaked nipples. She gasped, arching toward his touch. “Ye meant to say insatiable,” he grumbled into her ear.

Barith grabbed her chin and gently turned her face to plant a kiss against her soft lips. Their kiss was long, lush, and sweet.

“Perhaps you are good for more than just body heat,” she teased when he pulled away.

He growled playfully, his heart full as he took her in. “Do you need anything?” he asked, glancing at her bandaged chest.

She shook her head. “I’ll have a bit more of Ismay’s tonic in a moment,” she told him. “But I’m okay. Just sore.”

Barith ran his fingers gingerly over her stomach, and they lay there in silence, savoring each other. Getting Levian to the island had been harrowing. He’d hoped she would rouse enough to snarl at him for flying her over the sea since he knew how much she hated to fly, but she hadn’t. She’d laid limp in his arms the entire way. It took hours for Ismay to get Levian stable and to stop the bleeding. Then, several more to get the mage’s fever to break. Barith had been in a state the whole time, only leaving long enough to show his face to his mother and meet with the Ceanadachs. He’d been beyond relieved to find her awake and out of bed when he’d come home.

Levian let out a soft sigh of satisfaction, and his heart thumped. He could very much get used to mornings like this. His tail flicked over her legs, and she reached down to stroke gently between her fingers.

“Mmm,” he rumbled. “Dinnae be doing that, lass, unless ye’re ready tae wake the dragon .”

She let go of his tail and playfully slapped the side of his arse. “ Wake the dragon ?” she repeated with a laugh. “You truly are ridiculous.”

Barith rumbled, stroking back her wild curls. “I won’t deny that,” he told her.

She chuckled, and he chuckled, too. Barith felt deliriously happy. The only thing that would have made this better was having breakfast appear next to the bed.

He stroked her shoulder, words beginning to well up in his throat. They had much to discuss, but he wasn’t ready to break this moment just yet. “I think you’re well ahead of me,” he teased, continuing their topic of insatiability.

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused, her cheek still pressed against him.

“You’ve outpaced me where it counts,” he explained, pointing to her sex. “I thought ye were going to fall off the bed last night at one point.”

She snorted. “Keeping score, are we?”

“Oh, aye,” he drawled darkly. “I always keep score wi’ you, magick slinger.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

She chuckled, her slight frame rocking against his. “Then you know you just admitted that you’re losing,” she pointed out.

He smirked. “I’m happy to be down a few points,” he growled.

“Are you?” she questioned, sliding her hand down his chest, then further down his stomach, following the trail of auburn hair down to his cock. He grumbled and took in a shallow breath when her fingers grazed over him. He began to harden instantly under her touch.

“I could try to settle the score,” Levian purred, running her palm down his length. “To make it a fair fight.” Barith cursed as she slid her hand lower, cupping his balls.

A crash echoed in the other room, followed by an urgent bellow of, “Barith!”

Of all the things he wanted to hear while Levian was cupping his balls, the last was the voice of one of his sisters. Levian gasped, pulling her hand away instantly, and Barith cursed for an entirely different reason.

Cat knocked on his door—hard. “What?” he snarled as Levian tried to pull the blankets up over herself. Could he not have a moment’s peace when he was home?

“Ye better get dressed,” Cat said, sounding winded. “I only just got ahead o’ her.”

Barith furrowed his brows, confusion giving way to realization as the weight of his responsibilities hit him like a ton of bricks. He was supposed to be at breakfast this morning with his mother, Callum Ceanadach, and his betrothed to discuss the final terms of their mating contract. And he’d slept through it. He cursed loudly.

“Aye,” Cat agreed through the door. “She’s in a right rage.”

“Who?” Levian asked as Barith flew off the edge of the bed, nearly hitting the ceiling. He looked frantically around the floor for his pants.

“The Queen,” Cat replied when Barith didn’t.

“Where the bloody hell is he, then?” his mum snarled. Barith barely managed to button his pants and throw himself in front of the bed to shield Levian before Queen Eithne burst into the room.

Levian squeaked as a dragon—who could only be Barith’s mother—threw open the bedroom door and stepped inside. Barith stood between them, but there was no way the queen didn’t see her. Eithne stilled, taking in the scene, her already livid expression turning even more furious. Her gaze locked on her son and then shifted to her.

The mage clutched the top blanket to shield her naked body, feeling very much like a girl caught with the farmer’s son in the haystacks. She wouldn’t usually worry too much over modesty, but the creature glaring her down was not only Barith’s mother but the queen of a dragon horde.

Queen Eithne was about the same height as Levian. She wore dark brown trousers, a long-sleeved green blouse, and a delicate emerald necklace with matching earrings. Her dark auburn hair was braided elegantly atop her head, but the scowl drew most of Levian’s attention. She had the same scowl as Judith, making Levian’s insides twist with nerves.

“Mum!” Barith snarled. “Ye cannae just barge?—”

“Ye brought her here,” his mother said, her voice low with disappointment, her eyes flaring with fire. “You brought yer half-fae tart tae my island.” Each word was like a knife in Levian’s already wounded chest. “During’ yer courtin’. Days before yer bloody matin’.” She sneered, and Levian felt the shame settle into her bones.

“Mum,” Barith said again, stepping forward. “This isnae Levian’s fault.”

“No!” Eithne boomed, her glare shifting entirely to him. “This is yer fault!” she made clear.

Barith’s shoulders sank, and his wings tucked back. The queen snarled a curse before turning to stalk out of the room. He looked at Levian with a harried expression. “Dinnae worry,” he whispered. “Ah’ll fix it.” Then he ran after his mother.

Levian let the embarrassment of the situation wash over her as Cat slipped into the room. “It’s best if ye let them handle this,” Cat said softly. “Mum was mad he didnae show for his meetin' this mornin'. Ah forgot tae come remind him like Flòra asked.”

Levian was already getting out of bed. “Can you help me find something to wear?” she asked Cat.

The dragon grunted. “Ye really?—”

Levian cut her a sharp look, and Cat threw up her hands in defeat. “Aye,” she agreed, heading for the dresser. “But ye cannae say ah didnae warn you.”

Cat helped Levian dress in an oversized sweater and pants that fit well enough that she didn’t feel entirely out of place before Barith’s mother. Levian’s nerves were on edge, and she shook as Barith and the queen snarled at each other, switching between English and Draconic. Cat’s grimaces at her mother’s insults did little to ease Levian’s tension.

“I cannae do it,” Barith declared as Cat wished Levian luck, and she stepped out into the main room.

The queen balked and shook her head. “I was too soft with ye,” she said, her voice bitter. “I let ye wander out in the world ‘cause ah knew you were like yer da. Ye needed tae be free long enough tae miss home. But ye didnae come back until we had to drag ye.” Barith’s head hung low, his shoulders drooping.

“This is my fault,” Eithne scoffed, guilt lacing her voice. “I let ye wander too long, and you lost yer way. Ye’re my son, Barith. A McCroy. Ye are the Skaal'Syr en'Rhaelor. A dragon an’ a member of the horde. That is who ye really are.”

“No,” Barith declared, loud enough to reverberate through the house. Levian heard Cat curse under her behind her, and she guessed the queen wasn’t often talked back to, even by her children.

Eithne’s eyes narrowed. “Wha’ did ye just say?” she asked sharply.

Barith shook his head. “I’m a dragon,” he said, his voice set and firm. “I’m yer son an’ a McCroy, but it is no’ all ah am.” Levian held her breath, and Cat shifted uneasily beside her.

The queen sneered at him as though he were a stranger. She straightened her back, her wings tucking tighter behind her. “You will mate wi’ Sera Ceanadach,” she declared, acting as though Levian weren’t in the room. “It’s yer duty tae the horde, tae yer family, an’ tae yer queen.”

Barith tensed, his breathing shallow. Levian wanted to go to him, to soothe him, but she knew better than to get in the way. Her heart raced and tore all at once. This was exactly what she’d feared. Creatures from different races of Folk rarely got their happily ever afters, and those who did usually had to give up everything for it—just like her mother. Tears threatened, and Levian forced them down. She could never ask him to leave his family behind and run away with her like Merlin had asked her mother. She knew Trislana had suffered being away from other dryads and the Veil, just as Barith would suffer being ostracized from his horde.

“An what of yer duty to me?” Barith threw out. “As my mother?”

The queen huffed bitterly. “You think ye’ve been treated poorly, do you?”

Barith growled and ran his hands through his matted hair, his frustration palpable. His back was so tense Levian could see every ridge of muscle. “Ye can bluster all you want about duty an’ honor an’ the horde,” he said, “but we both know ye drove me away.”

Eithne’s growl was primal and terrifying as she glared at her son. “Ye left by yer own choice.”

Barith snorted sharply. “Is that what ye’ve telt yerself? That ah left ‘cause ah was too much like da?” He braced his hands on the counter opposite his mother, leaning in menacingly. “You ordered me to do yer dirty work for years after da died. Whatever had to be done to keep you queen, to keep the horde ahead o’ the rest. But I wasnae gonna end up like him, either.”

The queen’s gaze hardened. “Yer da spent time out in the world when we were young,” Eithne said, her voice tinged with bitterness. “He fell in love wi' some faerie an' thought himself too good for the horde. Then she broke his heart, an' he came crawlin' back. Yer da learned his lesson an' recognized that a dragon was the only creature that’d ever understand him an’ love him like he wanted. The only place he belonged was with the horde. He died givin' everything tae his family—tae us, tae you. An' ye would talk o’ him as if he were a fool for doin' it.”

Barith’s wings and shoulders slumped at his mother’s words. The way Eithne talked to him like he was nothing but a selfish brat tore at Levian’s insides, but she pressed her lips together, forcing herself not to interfere.

“He left Ember Hall to me ‘cause he didnae want me to end up like him,” Barith said, his voice a low grumble. “He wanted me to have somewhere to go if I ever needed to escape the horde. None of the girls cared to be off the island for more than a few days, but he knew I was different, and he knew the horde needed to change.”

The queen scoffed. “Yer da was a good mate an' a good father, but he always had his head in the bloody clouds.” She finally glanced at Levian, and the mage’s knees wobbled in response. “All he wanted was for ye tae have somethin' he couldnae, so he put these ideas in yer head—talked tae ye about findin' yer true mate one day. They dinnae exist, Barith. No' since the dragon tribes roamed Sylthéa wi' the fae. Yer da fed ye a fantasy 'cause he couldnae hold on tae his own.”

Levian felt cut to the bone at Eithne’s sharp set down. Barith had spent centuries chasing his true love. The mage had always thought it was silly but also endearingly romantic. The queen calling him a fool because he’d hoped for something more than a forced arrangement was more than she could take. Despite her better judgment, Levian stepped forward. “His heart is his own,” she told the queen. “Not even you can keep him from loving whomever he desires.”

Barith tensed at her words, and the queen glared at Levian as if she were no more than a bug needing to be squashed. “Get her off my island,” she demanded before leaving. “An' I expect ye at dinner taenight to finalize the matin' contract wi' Sera Ceanadach.”

Eithne didn’t bother to wait for a reply before storming out. The air hung heavy for a long while after she left. Levian gingerly touched Barith’s shoulder, and he recoiled slightly from her touch. Her heart cracked at his reaction, but soon he relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, hanging his head.

Levian swallowed her emotions. “It’s okay. I assumed she wouldn’t be happy I was here.”

“Aye, but still,” Cat grumbled, moving to close the door. “That was harsh, even for mum.”

Cat looked at them for a moment, and Levian tried to give her a signal by tilting her head, but the dragon didn’t quite catch it right away. When Levian mouthed the word “alone,” Cat cleared her throat. “Aye. I’ll go an’ fetch Ismay, then,” she said, opening the door again. “Tae come help change yer bandage.”

Once they were alone, Barith let out a heavy, stuttered breath, and Levian continued to stroke his arm. She wanted to take away his pain, even if she knew it was impossible. Her heart ached seeing him so upset. She loved him so much, but she knew there was no way she could fix this for him. Barith had never shared why he’d left the horde to travel the world, but Levian hadn’t thought much of it. She’d met several dragons who had done exactly the same over the years, though Barith had been away for a very long time. Now, she was beginning to better understand why he’d stayed away so long.

“I can fix this,” Barith assured her, though his confidence seemed shaken as if he were trying to convince himself more than anyone.

Her heart gave a heavy throb, and Levian rallied her nerves. “There’s nothing to fix,” she told him, her tears lingering just beneath the surface. “Your mother was horrid, but she isn’t wrong, Barith.”

He turned to her sharply, his expression harsh. “Ye think I should mate with Sera Ceanadach?” he hissed.

Levian let out a heavy sigh, trying to find the right words. “Maybe,” she admitted. Barith scoffed bitterly, moving away from her, and Levian’s heart cracked. “Even if you don’t, Barith, you can’t run away from this—your family. It would destroy you to turn your back on them. I know it, and so do you.”

Barith growled in anger and frustration, pacing the room. “So what?” he spat. “That’s it? Ye’re just gonna leave again?”

Levian shook her head. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay with him, but that didn’t mean she should. “I have to go to Council,” she told him. “I have to tell them what happened with Vane as soon as possible, and I still have to find the thieves. None of that has changed.”

He turned and looked down at her, his expression grim. “Will ye come back?” he asked, his voice flat, but the hollowness in his eyes told her he already knew the answer. If she said yes, she’d only be lying, so she said nothing.

The words of love lodged in Levian’s throat as she became overcome. He’d told her last night he’d wanted a chance to love her and that he didn’t care about his mating, but that was then, and this was now. Barith could make no promises because the truth was he was still to be mated to someone else, and Levian wasn’t convinced at the end of the day, his sense of duty and honor wouldn’t win out. She wasn’t convinced it shouldn’t.

Barith closed the space between them, searching her eyes. He cursed and leaned down to kiss her roughly. “I love you, Levian,” he told her again as he pressed his head to hers. “I will always bloody love you, but—” The way his words broke off tore her heart apart. “I cannae fight for this on my own,” he finished, pulling away.

Tears streamed down her face, but Barith didn’t wipe them away this time, nor did he try to soothe or reassure her. He looked at her with such sorrow it stole her breath. “Cat can get ye off the island,” he said, his voice hollow. “I left Beatrice at Ember Hall. She’s years now—you won her fair.”

As he turned to leave, Levian had to force herself not to sob. Barith looked back at her as he opened the door. “Maybe I am too much like my bloody da,” he said, his voice gravelly with emotion. “Goodbye, Vi.”

The moment Barith was gone and the door shut behind him, Levian let out the sob she’d been holding. Pain radiated through her entire body as she fought against the surge of grief that slammed into her like a tidal wave. She wanted to chase him, to beg him to stay. She didn’t.

Levian loved Barith, but she knew in her bones that the only way to truly love him was to let him go. It tore her apart to think of her life without him, but she couldn’t have lived with herself if he’d abandoned his horde, his family, for her. She couldn’t bear his eventual regret. Even if she knew her heart would never be the same without him. Even if it would never be whole again.