A Little Bit

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Warren

Eli

Can we meet somewhere?

The obvious and correct answer to that is no. Tell him no. No. No. No. It’s close to midnight. Don’t see him right now. No.

But instead, I tell him to meet me at the park down the street from my townhouse.

Getting up off the couch, I hurriedly walk to the front door and throw a jacket on, doing a quick check of myself in the mirror in the foyer.

Not for him. For me.

I walk the short distance with my hands stuffed in my pockets, protecting them against the November chill in the air. The cold reminds me that Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means I’ll be having to make a trip to Mother’s house soon. Dread creeps across my skin, thinking about all the fakeness I’ll have to convey while I’m there. Listening to her list potential girlfriends for me, listening to Grandaddy talk about how the world has gone to shit and everyone is soft while I nod along because I have to agree with him.

I shove those thoughts away, trying to stay present, but this moment doesn’t exactly put me at ease. As I turn into the park, I find a bench to sit on and start to wonder why I’m even here. Why I can’t seem to ignore him when he calls for me.

I close my eyes and stretch out on the bench, spreading my arms across the back of it and letting my head hang back, listening to the peaceful sounds of the fountain a few feet away. Trying to let it calm the buzzing under my skin. Because I am. I’m buzzing. Waiting for him.

“I’ve never been here before.”

I snap my head up at the sound of his voice. He’s standing a few feet away, dressed in black joggers and an Astorville University hoodie. A backwards black hat sits on his head. He looks so comfortable and effortlessly… something. Whatever it is, it sends a jolt of desire through my body, bottoming my stomach out. I swallow and try to breathe through it, but it feels stronger than usual tonight. I get a sense that I’m fighting a losing battle.

I force a smile on my face to hide the conflicting emotions inside. “How can I help you, Eli?”

He ignores my question, craning his neck to look all around the park. “You must love it here.” He points a finger at the trees above our heads, all decorated with swinging Spanish moss. “All the moss shit is here.”

“I do love it.”

We fall into silence. He fiddles with the strings of his hoodie, now staring at the fountain. It’s the centerpiece of the park. A three-tiered stone behemoth that is visually beautiful but dedicated to a confederate war “hero.” Because this town can’t seem to let go of the Civil War. Perpetually stuck in the past.

Mother loves the fountain.

“Why did you come?” he asks, still looking at the water cascading out of the fountain.

“Hmm?”

He turns to me now, briefly taking his hat off and running his hand through his dark hair, before putting it back on. “I asked why you came here. Why did you agree to see me?”

I shrug, leaning up and resting my elbows on my knees, eyes flicking down to the brick path below my feet before meeting his waiting gaze again.

He scoffs a laugh and shakes his head. “No. You know why. The same reason I texted you tonight. I don’t know what’s going on, but something keeps pulling us back.” He waits for me to say anything, his eyes huge and vulnerable, something I’ve never seen from him before. He’s tough and hard.

But I can't make myself say anything. Because I can’t tell him the truth. That despite the fact that I can’t be involved with him—a man—I don’t deserve this. To feel anything good. I deserve the life of lying. Of pretending. Of being unhappy.

But… maybe I can let it be, before I go back to my life of misery. Just for a little bit. How can I even ignore him anymore? It doesn’t seem to matter. Where I am. What I do to hurt myself. He’s all around me. Everywhere he shouldn’t be. Maybe if I indulge, it’ll go away.

He moves toward me, sitting on the bench, close enough for our knees to touch. He grabs my face. It’s rough. Possessive. The contact feels like too much. It burns through everything, touching my brain. My bones. My blood.

He whispers now, a harsh ragged sound. “It’s not a relationship. We’ll use each other. Give in. Just for a little bit. Then you’ll go back to your sad, patriotic life. Marry a woman. Wear those stupid American flag pins everywhere you go.” A smile creeps onto his face.

I flick my eyes between his. “Just for a little bit?” I whisper back, echoing his and my thoughts.

“A little bit.”

I slowly nod my head, his hands traveling with it, while the sounds around us quiet, an invisible sensation that I can’t name engulfing our space.

He abruptly stands, grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the bench.

“W-wait. Where are we going?” I stammer after him.

He doesn’t answer, just keeps towing me behind him, heading away from the street lamps and deeper into the park.

When we reach a tree away from the lights, he slams me up against it, causing my breath to leave me. Then he just stares. Heat in his eyes. That vibrancy that only he possesses blazing bright even under the veil of the shadows.

I swallow around the dryness in my throat. “My–my place is just down the street.”

“I can’t wait.”

His face descends slowly. My heart jumps into my throat, watching his features get closer, while my breath comes out in quick pants.

He stops a few inches away from me, placing his hand on my rapidly rising chest. That has my pulse quickening even more. I think I might have a fucking heart attack before anything even happens.

“Calm down, sailor,” he murmurs, pivoting his face away, running his lips down my jaw, his scruff scraping against my face, zinging my blood. “I’m going to take care of you.”

I hiss when he nips at my jaw, placing a wet kiss over it, before moving down to my neck. He inhales my skin, letting out a groan that rumbles through me. “You smell so. Fucking. Good. Do you know that? Like expensive shit. Like something I could never afford.”

I clear my throat while he runs his nose down my skin, making goosebumps raise all over me. “Um, yeah. It’s this stuff I got when—” All my brain power leaves me when he runs his tongue up my neck. It’s a long, slow motion, like he wants to savor the taste of me.

A moan escapes my lips. It’s breathy as fuck. Not masculine at all. I can feel my face heating in embarrassment from it.

“Fuck, yes. I love hearing how much you love this, sailor,” he growls, reaching around and grabbing my ass, pulling our bodies together.

I preen inside from his comments, my embarrassment a moment ago flitting away.

His hard dick presses into mine, making me feel dizzy as he starts to grind our hips.

Pressing my forehead into his, I grab onto his neck with both hands, giving myself leverage to rub on him harder, losing any shred of dignity I have left, letting out a purring sound I’ve never heard myself make when my vision temporarily whitens from the pleasure.

He chuckles, bringing his hands up to press against the tree behind me. “My pretty little straight boy likes rubbing our cocks together, doesn’t he?” he rasps near my ear.

I just nod my head and undulate my hips, unable to form any words, trying to ignore what being called his does to me.

“Let me show you something even better,” he murmurs before leaning back, leaving me in the cold. Reaching for my pants, he deftly undoes the belt and zipper, freeing my aching cock from my pants, before doing the same to himself.

And then our cocks are both right there. Out and erect. So close. Straining toward each other.

He steps back into me, making his graze mine. I suck in a breath, slightly doubling over and grabbing his shoulder to steady myself.

Tsking, he rumbles to me, “If that was too much, this is gonna be a difficult time for you.”

I smile, breathing a shaky laugh. “I’ve just never done this before.”

His voice takes on a softer tone. “You’ve been hiding for so long. You don’t have to do that here. Just feel everything I give you.”

I blink away the sting in my eyes and tilt my head down at where he’s softly rocking his cock into mine. No hands. Just lazily moving his hips back and forth, dragging his tip against my shaft.

Lifting his open palm to my face, he commands, “Spit.”

I do as he says, something primal releasing in me as he brings his tattooed hand with my saliva down and wraps it around our dicks.

“Oh my—” I blurt before quickly biting my lip to stifle anything else from coming out of my mouth while he slowly runs his hand up our cocks.

“Shiiiiiit,” he says, throwing his head back, accidentally knocking his hat off, setting his hair free so it messily frames his face when he looks down again. “Fuck. You feel good. Why do you have to have such a beautiful cock? I hate that it’s so fucking perfect and long and thick.”

“I’m— ughh —I’m sorry,” I breathe back at him, barely hanging on to consciousness.

He removes his hand from around us, leaving me dazed, and commands again, “Spit,” which I immediately do. Anything to get his hand back where I need it.

“I can’t wait to sit on this dick,” he growls.

My head lifts away from the spectacle below to look at him and any remaining blood in my body flows south. “S-sit on it?”

He smirks. It’s dark and sexy, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. “Yes, sailor. I’m going to sit on your fat cock and bounce on it until I come all over your chest. Then, when you’re ready, you’ll do the same.” He reaches around, slipping his hand into the back of my pants and running it up my crack before lightly touching my hole, rubbing his finger across it. “And I’ll fill this pretty pussy with all of my cum until it leaks out of you, running down your thighs so you never forget who marked you first.”

The images that flit through my mind are intoxicating. His powerful thighs straddling me. Him spreading himself for me, lowering until I disappear inside him. Me spreading myself for him, opening up my cheeks for him to abuse my hole however he wants.

“ Shit, shit, shit, shit, shiiiit,” I chant as my gut tightens and I unload, cum spurting on his hand and all over his cock.

I shudder through it, barely able to keep myself upright as he milks the orgasm out of me, murmuring, “Yes. Yes. Give me your cum, sailor. That’s my fucking cum.” It prolongs my orgasm, adding on waves and waves of shocks every time he utters his depraved words.

He takes a moment to spread my cum around before continuing to pump us, wildly fucking himself against my cock, chasing his orgasm and making me almost hurt from how sensitive my dick is.

In a moment of insanity, I grab onto his neck and pull him closer, our breath commingling, so close to his lips.

“ Mmmmf . I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come,” he rushes out of his mouth, desperate and breathy.

Leaning forward that last bit, I bite onto his bottom lip, bringing it into my mouth, running my tongue over it, gently sucking.

A whimper ghosts across my lips right before I feel him tumble over the edge, his hot cum covering both of us, and even though mine is rapidly softening now, it twitches the moment his wetness coats me.

I slowly drag my teeth off of his lip, setting him free as we both try to catch our breath in the middle of this public park, covered in cum.

A laugh bubbles out of me at the absurdity of my situation. Two months ago, I didn’t even know this person. And now, I just let him jack us both off in public.

My laughter quickly dies thinking of what would happen if someone found out. If Mother found out. If Grandaddy found out.

“Hey!” Eli snaps his fingers in front of my face, pulling me out of my dark thoughts and back to him, cast mostly in shadows, slightly illuminated by the moon above us.

He’s striking. I’ve always thought that, but it’s different now. Before, it was under the pressure of trying to keep the thoughts at bay, not fully allowing myself to feel their intensity. Now, I can bathe in the thoughts, let them run over me.

His brown eyes. His long lashes. The way his dark hair falls over his forehead. It all sends warmth through me as I study him.

He looks at me, flicking his hair off of his face and zipping up his fly before picking his hat up off the ground and putting it back on his head. Smirking, he asks, “You gonna put that monster away? It’s pretty cold out here.”

Looking down, I see that my pants are still completely open, my now spent and tired cock flopped down and shiny from our mixed release.

“Oh my god,” I mutter, wincing when I tuck it back in my underwear and feel the wetness turning sticky and cold.

He shakes his head and laughs. “How can it not even shrink when it’s exposed to the cold? That’s dark magic. You a wizard?”

I shake my head while I refasten my belt. “No.”

He huffs. “I’m kidding. I know that.”

I just shrug back, because now that we’re both dressed, I have no idea what to do with myself. The claws of regret are creeping up in the back of my brain, but don’t find purchase quite like the last few times something has happened with him.

I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

Grabbing onto my nape, he pulls me closer, rhythmically rubbing circles against my hairline and looking into my eyes thoughtfully. “I liked that.”

“Me too,” I admit.

“I wanna do something like that again.”

I shouldn’t. This is a bad idea for a million reasons. The biggest one being that I don’t get to feel like this. To enjoy anything. To feel… good.

But I really want this. Enough to push those ever present thoughts away. Just temporarily.

“Me too.”

He smiles. “Good, sailor. I look forward to it.”

There’s a moment where nothing happens. He keeps staring at me and I at him. The steam from our hot exhales of breath floating up in the cold air between us.

My gaze travels down to his mouth. I stare at it for too long, my eyes tracing the outline of his full lips until they form the word, “No.”

I snap my eyes back up to his. “What?”

“No,” he repeats. “I don’t kiss.”

Disappointment spreads through me. I’ve never kissed a man, so no harm, no foul, right? But staring at his mouth, I really wanted to feel it on my own. To slide my tongue into his mouth.

I don’t need it, though.

I clear my throat. “Of course. That’s fine.”

He gives a short nod and lets go of me. My skin mourns the loss.

“See you around, sailor,” he murmurs with a wink while backing away from me. Then he turns around and walks away, leaving me alone, still pressed against this tree and wondering how I’m ever supposed to go back to normal after this is over.