A Little Bit

Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Warren

I walk as fast as possible back to my townhouse, giving the occasional passerby a polite smile and feeling rather than seeing Eli’s energy following me.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and as much as I want to just ignore it, when I see my mother’s number on the screen, I know I can’t.

“Hello,” I say, still speed walking.

“I have the senator here for you, Warren,” David’s annoying voice says.

Some of my elation from getting to see Eli leaks out of me the moment I hear him. But I smile through it, even on the phone, because it’s the only thing I’m able to do. “You don’t have to do that, David. I have her number programmed in my phone. I know who’s calling.”

He clears his throat, answering matter-of-factly. “It’s protocol. Here is the senator.”

There’s some shuffling and then my mother’s sweet, southern voice comes through. “Warren… sugar… why is Mr. Thompson calling your Grandaddy and saying that poor little Abigail was crying the other night when you didn’t show up to the meet and greet?”

“I didn’t go.”

There’s a beat of silence before she recovers. “You’re not seeing Vivian anymore are you? I know she’s pretty, sugar, but she’s not a good look for me right now.”

A tiny bit of anger spikes in my blood. “I’m not seeing Vivian. Do you mean she’s not a good look for me ?”

“Huh? Yes, Warren, that’s what I said.” She’s saying everything nicely, like she has a huge smile on her face, but there’s an edge to her voice. She must be in public or something. “Why did you not show up for your date?”

I swallow, temporarily slowing my steps. “I’m not meeting with her.” My eyes widen, not sure where all this bravado is coming from.

“What?” she spits, her outrage temporarily getting the best of her before she abruptly switches her tone to the overly pleasant, sweet, southern senator again. “Warren. I’m about to get on a plane, otherwise I would tell you in much more detail how I feel about this. Now listen, I’m not sure what has gotten into you, but this isn’t a question. You will do this. You owe me. Do not forget that.”

She hangs up. I scowl and stuff my phone back in my pocket, feeling completely helpless and small.

I’ll never be able to be truly happy. She won’t let me. Grandaddy won’t let me. My own mind won’t let me, always reminding me?—

No.

I glance behind me, seeing Eli’s figure still following at an appropriate distance.

It’s not the time to dwell on this. I get to see him right now and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to.

I let the good feelings flow back into me as I walk up the front steps, knowing that I’ll get to touch him. I’ll get to forget the problems that plague me when he’s here.

He cuts into the alleyway a few houses down to go to the backdoor while I try three or four times to get my key in the lock, but my hand is trembling so badly, I end up missing.

I’ve never felt such excitement to see another person. My body is vibrating, like it can barely contain my eagerness, ready to burst out of me in an explosion of color.

The darkness is still there, against the back of my skull, curved to the bone to blend in. It’ll creep out once he’s gone. Tormenting me. Reminding me.

I haven’t hurt myself since that night. Even though I really want to. But I have brought my notebook back into use. So, physically , I’ve promised not to hurt myself, but I never promised I wouldn’t mentally . Because I need to.

The struggles with my sexuality have gone to the wayside in the notebook, making room for the darker, bigger thoughts taking space in my brain.

I do my best to crush the darkness as the key slots into the lock and I open the door, tossing my coat and bag on the bench in the entryway and sprinting to the backdoor.

As soon as the door’s window comes into view, I see his smile, huge and wide while his sexy, dark eyes burn through all my layers.

I throw the door open and he immediately tumbles into me, flinging his backpack and coat away and grabbing my face, fiercely kissing me, thrusting his tongue in my mouth.

I hungrily kiss him back, moaning when I taste him on my tongue. Running my hands under his shirt, letting my fingers glide over each ab muscle he has hidden underneath.

I raise the material over his head, tossing it aside and letting my eyes peruse his body. My fingers skim over his smooth, tan skin, cataloging the tattoos that decorate his body.

I don’t know how much longer I have with him. I don’t want to forget anything when he leaves.

He pulls me out of my reverie, taking my face and bringing it back to his. Everything is fast and wild, a frenzied passion burning between two people who know it can’t last.

Or I think he knows that. I know what he said before, about not wanting this to be temporary anymore. But if he knew, he’d never want to stay.

“I want you to fuck me,” I murmur into his mouth, halting his motions.

He pulls back slightly, looking me in my eyes. “Are you sure, Warren?”

Hearing him say my name flows honey through my insides, hot and sweet and thick, coating every part of me in the feeling.

I nod. “I’m sure.”

He smiles and suddenly I’m in the air, being hoisted over his shoulder as he jogs to my bedroom.

“What are you doing?” I ask through a laugh.

“Taking my slut into the bedroom so I can fuck him. I’ve been dreaming of this moment, and I don’t have the patience for you to walk there on your own,” he answers with a quick swat to my ass.

My already hard cock gives a little twitch against his shoulder at his dirty words.

“Tell that thing to settle down. I’m going to take care of him,” he grunts as he throws me off his shoulder and onto the bed, my body bouncing once it hits.

He’s on top of me before I can say anything else to him, opening my pants and pulling them off, freeing my dick. He stares at it, smiling. “You have a beautiful cock, you know that?”

“Yes. You’ve mentioned it and I’ve heard that before.”

His smile disappears and he grasps my jaw. “Don’t remind me of any of those other fuckers who have seen your cock. As far as I’m concerned, that shit didn’t happen. You hit restart with me. You’re mine now.”

I swallow through the happiness coursing through me, threatening to make me fall to my knees and beg for that to always be true.

Some of the darkness claws its way to the front.

You can’t be his. You know why.

I pull his face to mine, angrily kissing him again, trying to erase anything else. The past mostly.

Reaching between us, I slip my hand under his sweatpants and into his boxers, wrapping my hand around his warm erection.

He sighs into my mouth, slowly beginning to fuck himself in my fist. “Fuck, sailor. That feels amazing. I can’t wait to get inside you.”

Chills sheet my skin at the thought. Giving him the last thing I have. The thing I’ve never given to anyone else. Letting him completely own me.

Not that he doesn’t already. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’d do absolutely anything he asked of me. Murder. Stuffing drugs up my ass. All of it done without hesitation.

I’m completely consumed by him. Lost in him.

I know what this is—what I’m feeling. The thing that poets and artists have tried to depict for centuries. But I can’t say it. Out loud or in my head. It’ll make it too hard when he leaves.

He slowly unbuttons my shirt, running his hands up my torso to push it off my shoulders, helping me pull my arms out of the sleeves and tossing it away.

“Turn over for me, baby,” he whispers.

I do as I’m told, flipping myself and getting on all fours, hearing the slide of his sweatpants coming off behind me while I tremble with need and nervous anticipation.

He blankets himself over me, running his fingers down my spine in a soothing motion. “Relax. I’d never hurt you, Warren.”

My body completely melts for him, every rigidity besides my dick disappearing—completely ready for his will.

He trails kisses down my back, humming and grazing his hard cock against my thigh. I preen under his attention. How soft it is. How adoring it feels. Like he cares.

When he reaches my ass, he spreads my cheeks and presses a way too chaste kiss to my hole, making me whimper and press back for more.

He chuckles and softly nips at my cheek. “What? Do you want more, sailor? You have to ask me. Nicely ,” he growls the last word, trailing his finger over my hole and ending on my balls, cupping and rolling them in his hand.

“ Mmmmmff . Uh,” I mumble, trying to concentrate on forming a sentence with his hands on me. It’s difficult. “Can you-can you please eat me, Eli?”

He lets go of my balls, lurching over my body again so our faces are close together. Grabbing my jaw, he pulls my eyes to his. “Call me baby,” he murmurs, something soft passing through our eyes that probably shouldn’t.

I swallow, trying to not let it affect me that much. But it does. I’ve never been high, but this is what it must feel like. I’m fucking floating and I never want to come down.

“Please eat me, baby,” I whisper, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss, softly sucking on his tongue before pulling away.

He disappears and then I feel his tongue swipe up my crack.

I gasp. It’s high-pitched and wild, but I can’t seem to help myself. He groans into me as he licks and kisses my hole, driving me insane. I slowly lose myself, uttering strange noises and shamelessly pushing my ass back into his face, loving the feeling of being tongue-fucked by him. The feel of his stubble roughly rubbing against my ass cheeks. His saliva making me slippery and wet, trailing down to my balls, making the bed wet. The hungry noises he makes right into my hole, like he’s starved and I’m the best meal he’s ever had.

Pulling away, he leans over to my nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube I’ve stashed there for us.

Cool liquid suddenly falls on the top of my crack, running down and making my back arch from the cold. His finger finds my hole, massaging the liquid around.

“I can’t wait to stuff my cock in this pretty, tight cunt,” he murmurs as he breaches me with one of his fingers.

I moan as he thrusts it inside me, slicking up my hole and opening it up for him. He curves his finger, finding and brushing my prostate. I throw my head back as my skin heats, letting out a guttural groan.

“More,” I pant.

He takes two more fingers and pushes them inside. I hiss through the burn, but I love it. Love that it’s him. Love that I can give this to him.

He fucks me with his fingers, pumping in and out of me while my body adjusts to the feeling of this much inside of it. And after a few moments, I find myself pushing against every one of his motions, riding his fingers and moaning like a slut.

“I love hearing my little cock slut moan. You ready for me, baby?” he says as his fingers continue squelching in and out of my ass.

I nod, trying to think around the fog of lust clouding my mind.

Turning my head, I watch him withdraw his fingers and reach for the bottle of lube, pouring a generous amount on his cock and spreading it.

He leans down, draping his back over mine again, making his lubed dick graze my ass, sending shivers through my body. “I’ll be gentle. Just relax for me.”

I nod again, unable to say anything.

When he sits back, I feel him line up behind me, the blunt head of his cock pressing against my wet hole.

“Breathe, baby,” he says as he begins applying pressure.

I do as he says, breathing through the unrelenting pressure, trying to keep myself calm despite how keyed up I feel.

The head of his cock pops in. All the air whooshes out of me and my body freezes. It feels absolutely enormous—so much bigger than his three fingers. How in the world am I supposed to fit the rest of him in there?

He doesn’t move, petting his hand down my spine while chanting, “You’re doing so good. Such a good boy,” over and over again.

Despite how stretched open and petrified I feel, my body begins to melt under him, each one of his words and pets dismantling some invisible guard inside of me.

After a few minutes, my body adjusts, ready to take more of him. “Y-you can keep going,” I croak out.

He gently pushes another inch into me, stealing my breath again, stretching me beyond what I think is even possible. But I want all of him. For him to slip right inside my soul.

“Can you put the whole thing in?” I beg, not wanting to wait forever anymore.

I hear the smirk in his voice behind me, “You got it, baby.” And then he pushes the rest forward, slowly but persistently.

“Shit!” I bark through the burn, hanging my head and panting through it.

His hands run all over my body, caressing my hips, my back, my thighs. Calming me. “You feel so amazing, Warren,” he murmurs in between kisses on my back. “I’ve never felt an ass as tight and warm as yours.”

His praise fills me with light. I raise my head up and bask in it while he continues touching and kissing me.

Once my body relaxes, he gives me a cautious thrust, pulling his hips the slightest bit before bringing them back to me.

A garbled moan leaves my lips as pleasure mingles with the sting, slowly overtaking it.

He does it again, this time, grazing against my prostate, whitening my vision. “Oh, fuck ,” I whimper.

“You want more? Because I’m dying to fuck you in half right now.”

I nod frantically, pressing my ass harder against his pelvis, ready for him to wreck me. Leave me tattered and in pieces that no one will ever be able to put back together again.

He starts a rhythmic pace, steadily building his momentum until he’s fucking into me with desperate, hungry thrusts, making my balls swing from the force. I arch my back to get him as deep inside me as I can, where no one has ever been before. Only him.

He grunts in appreciation at the new angle. “Fuck, baby. You have no idea how amazing this view is. Your slutty cunt in the air, open and wet for me.”

His words glide over me, settling into my skin, heating my blood and making my cock drip underneath me.

Grabbing onto my throat, he pulls me up against his chest, rutting into me with hard, punishing pumps of his cock as he runs his tongue up my neck, licking the sweat coating my skin.

“Eli, Eli, Eli,” I moan, laying my head back against his shoulder, feeling my balls tighten every time he pegs my prostate with the fat head of his cock.

“I love hearing my name out of your mouth, baby. Do you want to come?” he rasps into my ear.

“Yes,” I whimper at him.

Reaching around me, he fists my cock, and it honestly feels so amazing, I’m afraid I’m going to fucking pass out.

“Fuck, sailor. Your dick is leaking all over the bed. You love getting fucked by my big dick, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I whine as he jacks me, slowly running his hand up and down my cock, smearing my pre-cum all over it.

“Fucking say it,” he growls, fucking me hard and deep.

“I l-love getting f-fucked by— mmmf —your big—oh fuck. Oh fuck. I’m coming. I’m coming ,” I croak out right as my dick erupts, cum shooting out onto the ugly floral bedspread, pleasure tingling everywhere in my body as I spasm in his arms.

“Fuck yes. That’s so sexy, baby. Spray your cum everywhere for me,” he rumbles, fucking me through my orgasm, milking my cock until I can barely hold myself up against his chest.

Once I’m completely empty, he lets go of me and pushes my head into the mattress so my ass is raised in the air for him. Getting up on his feet on the bed, he squats over me while recklessly plunging into my hole, getting so impossibly deep that I can almost feel him in my throat.

“Is this tight cunt ready to take my load, sailor? I’m going to fuck it into you so deep, you’ll walk around with a part of me in you forever. Fuck . Here I come.”

His thrusts stutter as his dick stiffens, unloading into my ass while he groans above me.

After a few more slow thrusts of him fucking his cum into me, he stops, slowly pulling his dick out while I wince from the loss.

There’s silence, so I raise myself on shaky hands to look back at him.

He’s sitting behind me on his haunches, staring at my hole. “I love seeing my cum leaking out of you,” he murmurs reverently, bringing up a finger and scooping what’s leaked out, pushing it back inside of me. I moan around the intrusion, inexplicably ready for him again by that little movement.

The sun streams all around his face, creating a halo effect. His eyes shift over me. “I wish I never had to give this up,” he murmurs. And now I’m wondering if he’s talking about the sex or me .

“Maybe you won’t have to.” The statement falls out of my mouth without any type of thought.

What a stupid fucking thing to say. Of course he will have to. You know why, too.

I expect him to brush me off. That’s what he usually does, telling me something cynical about how shit doesn’t last.

But he just looks at me, with that goddamn halo around him, the sun glittering off his skin, and undeniable hope in his eyes.

Tugging at one of my arms, he coaxes us to lay on the bed, despite all the cum and sweat everywhere. We fall into kissing. It’s sweet and slow, like we’re both trying to savor the time we have together.

He pulls back slightly, tenderly placing a hand on the nape of my neck and rubbing his nose against mine. “I love you, Warren,” he whispers.

I’m high again. Up in the clouds. Weightless. Euphoric.

I smile, letting it all wash over me. This ecstasy that is unlike any emotion I’ve ever felt before. To be loved.

A loud ticking starts playing in my head.

The timer.

He’ll take it back once he knows. You don’t deserve him.

The smile falls from my face, which he notices. “Hey,” he murmurs, petting my cheek. “Don’t get freaked out. I can see it happening in your eyes,” he says around a laugh. “You don’t have to say it back or anything. I just… it’s what I feel and I wanted to tell you.”

I nod my head at him, leaning forward and kissing him languidly, sliding my tongue into his mouth, trying to tell him with the kiss that I feel the same way, but I can’t say it.

Because if I say it back, it’ll make it unbearable when he goes.