A Little Bit

Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Eli

No one is speaking. It’s eerily silent. My mom’s statement just hangs in the room above our heads like an apparition, ready to haunt the fuck out of me.

Clearing my throat, I find my voice again. “Mom,” I croak out, keeping my eyes trained on her and not on Warren behind me. “What are you talking about?”

She’s still glaring, vibrating with contempt. “He was driving the car that hit your sister.”

I laugh, it’s weak but still makes her eyes snap over to me, confusion written all over her features. I know this isn’t the time for laughter, but she’s out of her goddamn mind. “There’s no way,” I mutter, shaking my head and smiling.

“It was him,” she repeats, her voice low.

The smile is still on my face when I look over at him, and it’s there, deforming his gorgeous features, twisting them into something unrecognizable. The guilt. The shame.

I turn my body completely to him. “Warren,” I say, making my voice very quiet while unease weaves its way through my chest. His eyes drift to me reluctantly. “Is that true?”

More tears spill over his cheeks as he lets out a hiccuped sob and nods.

He fucking nods.

Shit. No no no no.

I stumble backwards, gulping air as panic laces through me too.

Is this what it feels like to get fucking shot? Or stabbed? This has to be what it feels like.

No. This is worse. I feel like I’m fucking dying right now. Being cut a thousand times by the person I love.

I hold my head in my hands. “How the fuck—” I start, but my voice gives out. A pathetic crack ending my words.

Then a thought occurs to me. “Wait,” I blurt, quickly raising my head to look back at him. “You were freaking out about my mom coming here. Did you—did you know?”

“Yes,” he mumbles.

I grab my head again, walking around the room while chanting, “Oh no no no no.”

He continues talking, getting off the bed to come closer while I’m internally decaying. “I found her picture on your desk. I put it all together then. I never knew your last name…” he mutters around his tears.

“When was this?” I ask, stopping my pacing and looking at my work in progress, the face of my sister’s killer lovingly drawn underneath the sheet I threw over it.

“The morning after I didn’t go on that date.”

“That was weeks ago!” I exclaim, turning back around to him.

“I know,” he wails agonizingly, running his hands down his face. “I-I tried to leave—to get out of your life, but you wouldn’t let me. I wanted to tell you a thousand times, but I was…” He looks down at the floor shamefully. “I was selfish. After you made me come back to you, I didn’t want to lose us again.”

“No matter what happened between us, no matter what I said to you, you always had a mouth you could’ve opened. You should’ve fucking told me.”

“I know. I know,” he mumbles. “I’m sorry, but… is there any way for us to get through this?”

That fucking gets me. I charge over to him, grabbing his shirt, balling it in my hands. Squeezing it so fucking hard that I hear the seams ripping. “How the fuck do you suppose we get through this?”

He fumbles for his words for a few seconds, but nothing real comes out.

“You fucking killed her!” I screech, my voice growing louder with each word.

He flinches in my hands, the words physically slapping him.

“Get out, Warren,” I whisper, letting go of him and going to sit on my bed.

He sniffs, kneeling and placing himself between my legs, his voice taking on a pleading tone. “I’m sorry, Eli. Please. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry about the past. About what happened. You can hate me, but I love you.”

I glare down at him. “You don’t get to fucking say that now. Get out.”

“Eli—”

“Get out!” I roar, the words ripping from my throat, tearing my insides out along the way.

He stumbles back from the ferocity of my voice, but quickly gets up and runs out the door.

I’m in a daze, staring at the floor, a million excruciatingly painful thoughts running through my head. When the bed dips beside me, I startle, looking over at my mom’s somber expression as she begins rubbing circles on my back. I forgot she was even here. “I’m so sorry, Eli,” she says.

“What are the fucking chances?” I choke out right before the tears start falling, hot and angry down my face.

“I know, honey.”

“Oh shit,” I hiss, springing up off the bed and getting my phone from the nightstand.

“Everything okay?” my mom asks.

“Yeah,” I breathe out, trying to calm down as my trembling hand scrolls through my phone. “I just have to do one more thing and then… then I’ll be done with him.”