A Little Secret (The Little Things #4)

Chapter 45

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

GRIFFIN

“ C ongrats, man.” Jax hands me a cup of coffee and motions to one of the nearby oak tables. The Bean Scene is a coffee shop near campus. It’s been here forever. Rough brick exterior. Heavy glass doors. Metal chairs with polished oak counters and tables spaced far enough apart to offer a little privacy. Their coffee is always good, and the girls are obsessed with their pumpkin spice lattes in the fall, but I’m sticking with a plain black coffee today.

After my big brother found out about the baby a little while ago, he reached out, offering to buy me coffee, but thanks to both of our busy schedules, this is the first time I’ve been able to take him up on it.

“Thanks.” I start to take a sip of my drink but nearly burn my tongue off, pulling a dry chuckle from Jax as he watches me. Sometimes I forget he’s only my half-brother. He looks so much like our father, it’s hard to place any of his mom’s traits at all. Dark, wavy hair. Green eyes. He’s built like him, too. Broad shoulders. Tall. Hell, I feel like I’m looking at a younger version of my dad, and I’m about to get a lecture.

“Seems we have a lot to catch up on,” he adds with a grin. “Apparently, you take after… Mom ?”

Should’ve known he wouldn’t want to beat around the bush.

“You heard about that, huh?” I grumble, unable to look him in the eye. I should. He’s my big brother. The rock in the family despite all our best efforts to follow his path. But maybe that’s the problem. The reminder that his shoes are impossible to fill. Both on and off the ice. Jax is a legend. Hell, he’s a god. Never makes mistakes. Never fucks up.

As we take a seat across from each other at the empty table, Jax adds, “Really wish my brother would’ve told me about it.”

“I know I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all good.” He leans back in his chair and spreads his legs beneath the table. “How are you handling it? Taking on the role?”

“It’s easier than I would’ve thought,” I admit. “Sometimes, I even forget that I’m not…”

I can’t finish it. The sentence. Because it doesn’t feel accurate. I’m not the father? Bullshit. It feels like a cop-out when I’m so wholly invested in being in Finley’s baby’s life. However, clarifying their blood relation to me is a waste of breath but a necessary one, and if that isn’t a contradiction, I don’t know what is.

“Fin’s lucky to have you,” Jaxon replies. “And so is the baby.”

“Thanks.” I hesitate. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, whatever you need.”

Wiping my palms on my jeans, I shift forward and rest my elbows on the table’s cool surface. I’ve wanted to ask this question a hundred times, but I’ve always stopped myself, afraid the answer might break me or throw another curveball at my plans, and I’m not sure if I can handle another one. Not anytime soon. “Was it…weird?” I ask. “Your relationship with Mom?”

“Weird?”

“You know, having two moms while the rest of your siblings only had one.”

Jaxon’s mom, Eleanor, is a great woman, but she was always very deliberate with relationships. Part of me thinks she was afraid that if she extended too much of an olive branch to me and Dylan, she’d be stepping on my mom’s toes or something, but it’s only a theory. It’s not like we ever went to her house with Jax when we were little or anything. She’d bring us Christmas presents, and slurpees on our birthdays. But other than that? Nothing but a polite hello whenever she’d pick up or drop off Jax, depending on what week it was. Then, when Jax hit middle school, Eleanor remarried. Her husband received a promotion, requiring them to move to London, and Jax chose to stay with our dad instead of going with his birth mom. He said it was because he wanted to continue playing hockey and follow in our dad’s footsteps, but I like to think it’s because of me and Dylan. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if my big brother had left us behind.

“Yes and no,” Jax returns. “Sometimes, I felt like I was split in two. Like, I had two different lives, and in a way, I guess I did. Two bedrooms. Two families. Two curfews. Two sets of rules.” He pauses, his eyes growing hazy as if he’s assessing his childhood in search of answers. Blinking, he focuses on me again and takes a swig of his coffee. “But they did the best they could, you know? Mom, Dad, my mom. They did their best and…life wasn’t perfect, but it wa s enough. More than enough. It’ll be different with you, though,” he adds.

“How so?”

He shrugs. “From what I hear, the dad wants nothing to do with Fin or the baby. Is that true?”

“For now, yeah.”

“That’s good, I think,” he decides. “If he changes his mind, you can come up with a new game plan, but for now, I think you’re handling everything exactly how you should.”

“You think?” I grasp my cup and let the heat seep into my palms. “Sometimes, the idea of screwing up and shit…it’s a lot of pressure.”

“Take it from someone who had the most amazing bonus parent on the planet. Showing up is enough. And you, man? You’ve never had a problem showing up.”

He’s right. About my mom. She’s always there. Always a phone call or a short drive away. Then again, so is my dad. They’re the best people I know. And if I’ve learned anything from them, it’s that their example has made me the man I am today. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be enough to fill the dad role and claim the title, even when I haven’t earned it yet.

“Thanks.” My lungs expand on a deep breath, grounding me. “I needed this conversation.”

“Figured you might.” He smirks. “Not gonna lie, though. I always figured I’d be the first to be a dad.”

“Yeah, my money was on you, too,” I joke. “Funny how life has way of…fucking us up while working itself out in the process.”

“You could say that.” The steam swirls in the air as he takes another sip of his drink. “And sometimes, it only fucks us up.”

The bell on the entrance jingles, announcing an incoming customer, and the blood drains from his face as his attention catches on someone behind me.

Curious, I turn around and find a guy in a navy blue suit and white dress shirt ordering a coffee at the register. It’s Uncle Henry. “Shit.”

Tearing his attention from our uncle, Jax turns to me and cocks his head. “ Shit? You, too?”

“ Too ?” I ask. “Since when are you avoiding Uncle Henry? Forget to pay rent or something?” Jaxon moved into our Uncle Henry’s penthouse by campus last summer, but they’ve always been close. The idea of Jax avoiding him makes less than zero sense. Then again, so does me lying to all of my friends and family, so it’s not like I have any room to talk.

“Not exactly.” Tugging at the collar of his T-shirt, Jax sinks a little lower in his chair. “He’s been hounding me about Squeaks ever since…”

“Since she tried to kiss you, and you rejected her ‘cause she’s a kid ?” I finish for him.

His head falls forward in defeat. “Something like that. What about you? Why are you avoiding him?”

“Not sure if he’s heard through the grapevine about the baby’s birth father yet,” I mutter.

Jaxon arches his brow. “So?”

“So, I may have bent the truth when I asked to be traded to the Lions so I could stay close to Fin.”

His eyes bulge. “No shit?”

“Yeah,” I mutter.

“ Fuck .” He throws his head back and laughs. “You’re in even deeper shit than I am.” His attention shifts back to Henry and his smile falls. “He’s coming over.”

I gulp and sit a little straighter, shame burning through my insides. I’ve been dreading this since before I lied in his office, knowing it would catch up with me, but too selfish and short-sighted to rectify it. Especially now.

“Hello, boys,” Uncle Henry greets us.

Craning my neck, I look over at him and fake a smile. “Oh. Hey, Uncle Henry.”

“Hello,” he repeats.

I search his face for something. A hint. A clue. A fucking lifeline. But just like always, his expression is on lockdown. I shouldn’t expect anything less, but damn if he couldn’t have thrown me a bone for once. It’s not like I’m some stranger he’s doing a business deal with. I’m family. But so is he. And I lied to him.

“You good?” he challenges. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Uh, yeah,” I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ve been meaning to call?—”

“Mind if I take a seat?” The chair scrapes against the polished concrete floor as he drags it away from the table without waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, you know you’re always welcome,” Jaxon interjects. “What are you doing on campus?”

“I had a meeting,” Uncle Henry answers before he turns to me, pinning me with the same stone-cold expression. His mouth twitches. “You’re lucky you’re family, Griffin. Watching you squirm is entertaining, but I’ll put you out of your misery. Your dad caught me up on everything. Would’ve appreciated it if you'd done it yourself, but I understand why you…” He hesitates, lifting his coffee to his mouth and swallowing. “Bent the truth.”

With a quiet laugh, Jaxon looks down at his beverage.

Asshole.

“I know I should’ve been up front about the situation when I asked for the trade, and I’m sorry. Genuinely. I fucked—screwed up.”

Stealing another sip of his drink, he stares at me from above the rim. “You did, but I understand why. You should have a little more faith in your family, though.”

“You’re right. I should. You’ve always been nothing but supportive, and…”

“And we've been through this before.” His attention cuts to Jax. “If Ashlyn can do it, you can, too. Of that, I have no doubt.”

Jax shifts in his seat, appearing uncomfortable. I don’t need to ask why. Even with the welcoming arms, part of me still wonders if he views himself as the black sheep. The outsider.

Shifting my attention back to Uncle Henry, I murmur, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s move on to business. I made some calls,” Uncle Henry continues, “and considering the circumstances, the organization thinks you’d be a great fit for the Lions, so we negotiated with the Tornadoes to bring you on. What do you say?”

“I, uh…what did you say?”

“I said we want you to play for the Lions. What do you say?”

Shock. Elation. Confusion. They all battle for the spotlight as I choke out, “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to. Are you…are you sure?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have made the calls,” Uncle Henry returns.

Relief and trepidation wash over me as I register his words and how weighted they really are. The combination is so potent I’m afraid I would’ve fallen on my ass if I hadn’t already been sitting.

“Seems you’re staying in Lockwood Heights, Griff. Congratulations.”

Seems you’re staying in Lockwood Heights .

I’m staying in Lockwood Heights.

I don’t have to move.

I don’t have to leave Fin.

I don’t have to leave the baby.

I get to stay.

I get to stay.

I get to stay.

But that means…

Shifting in my chair, a wave of nausea knots my stomach, and I ask, “What about Ev? Did he…”

Uncle Henry holds my stare as a muscle in his jaw twitches. “Not a miracle worker, but I’m looking at some options.”

It’s not a no.

It’s not a no.

I hold onto the glimmer of hope.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He taps his knuckles on the coffee table, then turns to Jax. “And speaking of children, have you heard from Rory recently?”

Jax shakes his head. “No, why?”

Uncle Henry sighs. “Tatum put it in her head that they should go to boarding school together next year.”

“She’s leaving?” Jaxon demands.

“Mia and I are discussing our options. We’ve tried talking some sense into Rory, but…a fresh start is the only thing we haven’t tried yet.”

I’ve heard the rumors. After Rory’s brother’s death, she’s been in therapy and has a tutor to help her keep up with her classmates so she doesn’t fall behind. I thought it was going okay, but then she tried to kiss Jaxon, and that’s when things went to shit.

“Seems she’s pulling away from everyone,” Uncle Henry murmurs. “Including you, Jax. And that was the last thing I would’ve expected, even after…everything.” His attention snaps to my big brother. “If you hear from her, or if she mentions boarding school, will you let me know?”

“Of course,” Jax answers.

“Thank you.”