A Merry Little Christmas

Chapter 15

Nell

It was still dark outside when Nell arrived in Wetherley to open up for the day, but the square was already coming to life. The stallholders in the market joking and calling to each other from the backs of vans or from underneath their tarpaulin covers, clipping Christmas lights and menus and price lists in place for the day. It was a thriving and lively market, a place to find everything, from flowers to food, fabric to footwear, community and camaraderie.

She glanced briefly at the successor to Nell’s Nuts and waved just in case they saw her. It had been a year since she had sold the business; occasionally she missed life as a market trader, but she rarely missed working alone. It had been lonely running a business by herself, and then there were the sub-zero mornings, or, even worse, the wet ones, and finding someone to mind the stall while she went to the loo or to fetch lunch. Working at Merry and Bright was a cushy number by comparison. Inside all day, hot drinks and loos on hand and, of course, the biggest draw, the chance to work with her best friend.

Olek had thought she might miss being her own boss; he said he could never work for anyone else again. Until recently, it hadn’t bothered her. Now, she had her doubts. Merry might have made Nell an equal partner, but since she’d been forced to stay at home and not come to work, it was obvious that Merry still considered herself in charge.

Nell took out the shop keys as she approached the door, considering for the first time since joining Merry and Bright whether her future here might not be so bright after all.

To her surprise, she found the door unlocked, the lights on and the candles behind the counter lit. ‘Hello?’

‘In the studio!’ Merry shouted back.

Nell followed the smell of fresh coffee into the studio and found Merry sitting at the workbench arranging pastries onto a plate.

‘Morning, this is a nice surprise.’ She hovered by the door and gave Merry an awkward smile, not sure what to say. They had never fallen out before, this was new territory. Over the last few days, Merry had really wound her up, but she hadn’t exactly covered herself in glory either. She thought about the unanswered messages on her phone and felt ashamed of herself. No matter what had happened between them, Merry was her closest and oldest friend, and going through her first pregnancy. Nell should have cut her some slack.

‘Is it a nice surprise? I hope so.’ Merry chewed her lip. In red corduroy dungarees and Birkenstocks without socks and her toenails painted in silver glitter, she looked great. Under normal circumstances, Nell would snort with laughter and tell her she looked like one of Santa’s elves – a particularly spherical one. For the first time in almost two decades, she didn’t dare make fun of her. Merry picked up the plate. ‘Peace offering, and I’ve made fresh coffee too. Decaf. For both of us.’

‘Thank you.’ Nell was mainlining caffeine to combat the effects of her insomnia at the moment, but Merry didn’t know that and she appreciated the thought. ‘And you’ve got pecan ones too.’

‘Because they’re your favourite, and …’ Merry’s face crumpled. ‘Nell, will you forgive me? I’ve been a control freak and a nit-picker and a terribly impatient patient and I’m sorry. I couldn’t have managed without you; I don’t want to manage without you. And, on top of all that, I’ve been so caught up with myself that I haven’t been a good friend to you at all.’

Nell opened her arms wordlessly and her best friend stepped into them. Then they both laughed because Merry’s bump prevented them from getting close to each other.

‘Excuse my baby,’ said Merry with a soft laugh. ‘I need to develop a different hugging technique for the next couple of weeks.’

They shuffled sideways away from each other until Nell managed to get her arms around Merry’s shoulders.

‘I need to ask for forgiveness too,’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have shut down that Zoom call. I lost my temper, and I was rude to you.’

‘I deserved it.’ Merry grinned at her. ‘And I bet the workshop went really well after that, didn’t it?’

‘Really well.’ Nell released her and poured them both a coffee. ‘I was so nervous, but Woody helped, and if I have to run one again, I’ll be much more confident.’

‘I’m dying to meet him.’ Merry added sugar to her mug and stirred it messily, dropping the spoon down on the counter.

Nell wiped up after her, as she’d been doing for the length of their friendship, and picked the pecan and maple twist, just as Merry had known she would.

‘And I can’t wait to introduce you. He’s looking forward to meeting you too. He …’ Nell broke off before saying that he’d saved her life by helping her out, not wanting to make Merry feel even worse about her absence. She also skipped the part where Woody had dropped three glass candle jars and when Fred had popped in with Otto to see how she was doing, they’d had to shoo them out before Otto got glass splinters in his paws. She watched as Merry tore off a piece of cinnamon swirl and dunked it in her coffee. ‘I’ve never seen you do that before.’

Merry folded the pastry into her mouth. ‘Mmmm, I do anything I want now and blame it on pregnancy. It’s very liberating.’

Nell felt her heart skip. ‘It must be.’

Merry’s face fell. ‘Nell, I—’

Nell knew exactly where this conversation was headed next and pre-empted it. ‘By the way, I love those dungarees. You look like a jolly Santa who’s eaten all the mince pies.’

‘I know, look.’ She pulled a red Santa hat out of her bag and jammed it on over her blonde hair. ‘Tell me I’m not the sexiest woman you’ve ever seen.’

‘You’re not,’ she replied. ‘But I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Merry gave a muffled sob. ‘And I’m not crying, you’re crying.’

The two women hugged again.

‘You’re right, I am. But so are you. Let’s not argue again, I can’t cope.’

‘Me neither. Cole and I are arguing quite enough as it is, I need someone on my side.’

‘You and Cole?’ Nell took in Merry’s forlorn expression. ‘I thought you were still in the honeymoon period.’

‘I’m afraid so.’ She dunked another piece of pastry. ‘Luckily, Emily is here to act as referee. Goodness knows what’s going to happen when she leaves in a couple of days. I’ve even asked her to stay on a bit longer, but Izzy’s husband is turning forty and Emily promised to help with the party.’

‘Merry?’ Nell exclaimed. ‘What’s going on? This isn’t a time for you to start rowing.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She rubbed a tired hand over her face. ‘Anyway. I’ve been thinking about the shop.’

Nell narrowed her eyes, torn between wanting to probe her about her relationship and needing to know what she meant. ‘Oh?’

‘Mondays are quiet.’ Merry popped the last of her pastry in her mouth and chewed. ‘Online orders keep us busy, but the shop itself? Dead as a dodo except for the lunchtime moochers.’

‘You are so right,’ Nell agreed. ‘In fact, I wanted to suggest we don’t—’

‘Open on Mondays?’ Merry put in.

‘Yes, we could trial closing.’

‘At least for January.’

‘And see how it goes.’

‘Precisely.’

They both exhaled with relief and shared a smile.

Nell felt a weight lift from her shoulders; she’d been worrying for nothing about working with Merry, it was all going to work out fine. ‘We’re on the same page again.’

‘Feels good, doesn’t it?’ Merry’s eyes sparkled.

‘Right.’ Nell eyed up the remaining pastries. She shouldn’t really, but today felt like a day for celebrating. She cut one in two and put half on Merry’s plate. ‘So, on that note, our festive shopping evening is next week. Discuss.’

‘I have had an idea about that …’ Merry began.

‘Course you have,’ Nell laughed. ‘Go on.’

It was to be the first time they’d had an after-hours event. As well as gift wrapping and special offers and candle-making demos, there’d be Christmas refreshments and Harley had persuaded some of the kids from his school choir to perform a few festive tunes to add to the ambiance.

‘Assuming this baby doesn’t have other ideas, I’m planning on being here, so …’

Over the last of the pastry and a top-up of coffee, the two of them planned out how they would split the evening, each of them taking over responsibility for separate areas, and, as a special occasion, draft in Fred to help in the studio and, if he was willing, Woody to handle the gift wrapping.

‘Brilliant,’ Merry beamed. ‘And now that’s sorted, I guess I should start replenishing all the stock you’ve sold while I’ve been gone.’

The door opened, signalling the arrival of customers. Nell left Merry preparing the wax melter for making a batch of new candles and for the next hour, they busied themselves in their own part of the shop, as they’d been doing successfully for the last year.

Nell was packing an online order when Merry came to join her on the shop floor, while she waited for a batch of wax to cool.

‘I hesitate to tell you this,’ said Nell, tucking tissue paper into a gift box. ‘But we are almost out of Home scented candles.’

‘Give me an hour to finish the Winter Wonderland,’ said Merry, stifling a yawn, ‘and I’ll be on it.’

Nell had already seen her rub her back as if she was easing the pain. She should be thinking about going home, not working for longer.

‘Why don’t you leave it for today?’ she suggested. ‘But we should probably talk about what’s going to happen when the baby comes.’

Merry pulled a face. ‘Cole keeps saying the same. I’ve been in denial about it. And I suppose I thought a solution would present itself. Most things usually have a habit of working out in the end.’

Nell shook her head fondly. If she had been the one about to head off on maternity leave, she’d have had a plan in place by now. She’d have worked out when she’d realistically want to return to work and, with Merry’s agreement, she’d have already started the recruitment process for her temporary replacement. Everyone would know where they stood and could plan accordingly.

‘You’ve lived your life making spur-of-the-moment decisions and acting spontaneously, it’s part of what makes you such a fun person to be around. But I’m not sure you can run a business that way, not if you want it to stay successful,’ she said, her tone tempered with diplomacy.

Merry sat on the stool behind the counter. ‘I’d hoped to get ahead with production, so we’d have plenty to see us through for at least January. But now I’m behind. Fred might come in and help, especially as Astrid is preoccupied with her German project. And I thought I could do the accounts and stuff from home, when the baby naps.’

Nell adored Fred, and she knew Merry was reluctant to take on unknowns, but they needed a more formal arrangement if the shop was going to operate efficiently. ‘Or …’ She took a deep breath. ‘We employ someone.’

Merry opened her mouth to argue and closed it again. ‘I know you’re right, but … ughhh.’

‘I get it,’ Nell said. ‘You’re worried no one will do as good a job as you.’

‘It’s not that …’ Merry began until Nell started to smirk. ‘OK, it is that, but it will be hard to monitor the quality if I’m at home with a baby.’

‘Then let’s get someone to work in the shop; retail skills are easily transferable if we get the right person. Meanwhile, I can be your apprentice. Monday can be our training day if we’re closed. The baby can come into work, and we can make candles together. We can take it in turns to change nappies and rock the baby to sleep while we work. It’ll be fun.’

‘It might work, and I’d like to bring the baby in with me, but …’ Merry hesitated, and gave Nell a thoughtful look. ‘Can I ask you a personal question? About the baby?’

‘Fire away.’ Nell steeled herself; she’d succeeded in avoiding in-depth conversation about her baby woes so far. But it was inevitable that Merry would ask.

‘Me having a baby, bringing it in to work, and you …’ Merry rubbed her stomach just at that moment, a slight look of discomfort crossing her face.

‘And me and Olek not being able to conceive. Yes?’ Nell’s words came out sharper than intended and Merry flinched.

‘I was going to say and you spending so much time with us. But will it upset you, being around us?’

Us. Mum and baby. Nell’s chest felt tight, and she willed herself not to cry. But how could she tell her best friend that even though she was delighted for her, it was going to be a daily reminder of her own childless state. ‘Of course not, you’re my best friend, and this baby will practically be my nibling. That’s a word, by the way.’

Merry let out a rush of breath. ‘Thank goodness. I’ve been worried about that. I’m so glad. And, of course, you’ll practically be its aunt, because you and I have been as close as sisters for years.’

Nell felt a wave of guilt that Merry had been worried. ‘No matter what happens, I’ll always be there for you.’

Merry was quiet for a moment. ‘And you and Olek … I feel as if we haven’t really talked about your family plans since you had your test results. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but …’

‘I don’t want to, thank you,’ said Nell quickly. ‘Other than to say there are no plans at the moment. End of story.’

‘OK.’ Merry looked taken aback and Nell relented.

‘Olek and I have decided to just keep it between ourselves,’ she said as lightly as she could manage. ‘It’s a very private thing and, well, it’s not up for public debate.’

Merry’s smile slipped. ‘Am I classed as public?’

‘No, no, sorry,’ Nell said, feeling flustered. ‘Of course you aren’t. I’m still looking for the right words to express my … disappointment.’

Merry reached for her hand. ‘But you and Olek are definitely talking about it?’

She nodded. ‘Oh yes,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘All the time. You know us.’

‘Good. Because he’s the one person you should be able to say anything to.’

‘Absolutely.’ No one was more keenly aware of that than Nell. She heard Woody descending the stairs and breathed an inward sigh of relief that the conversation could now move on. ‘Prepare yourself, I think Woody has completed his morning ablutions.’

Merry glanced at the time on her phone. ‘Lucky him. I’ve been awake for four hours.’

‘I forgot to mention that he’s not a morning person,’ Nell told her. ‘He greets the day very slowly with matcha tea, meditation and the lengthiest self-care routine imaginable. And the number of products in his bathroom … I didn’t know there were so many different types of serum.’

‘Good morning, angel,’ Woody began. ‘I’m up with the lark this morning, because I need to pop home and do a few chores while Spencer is out. He’s missing my cooking and I’m going to make him a pie as a surprise. But I’ll be back at one.’ He spotted Merry leaning against the wall in the studio and pressed a hand to his chest. ‘Merry, we meet properly at last.’

‘I’ve heard nothing but glowing things about you,’ she said, leaning forward to shake his hand. ‘Thank you for all your help in the shop so far.’

Woody took hold of both of her hands. ‘Oh, look at you,’ he exclaimed in a shaky voice. ‘Oh my goodness.’

‘Is everything all right?’ Merry asked, slightly bemused.

He released her hands and nodded. ‘I knew you were pregnant of course, Nell told me.’ Woody fumbled in his pocket and brought out a tissue. ‘But I wasn’t prepared … I’m so sorry, please excuse me. Lovely to meet you. I’ll see you later.’ He touched Nell’s arm on his way to the door and the two women heard a sniffle as he let himself out of the shop and into the winter’s morning.

‘Gosh, I think I’ve made him cry, do you know why that could be?’ Merry asked.

Nell stared after him, watching him disappear into the crowds in the market. Poor Woody, the sight of Merry’s baby bump really seemed to upset him. ‘No idea, I’m as in the dark as you are.’

Woody had hinted at plans for next year that had gone awry. Could they perhaps be family-related? Maybe she wasn’t the only one who had unfulfilled dreams of being a parent. Her mind leapt several steps ahead, imagining him and Spencer having debates about whether to have children or not. Perhaps Woody was for and Spencer against? This might explain why the two men were living apart now, even though they clearly loved each other deeply. Could it be that she and Woody had a lot more in common than she’d thought? She decided to make it her mission to find out, let him know she understood, and maybe … A dangerous notion entered her head: maybe Woody could be an impartial person for her to confide in, because the weight of the secret she was keeping from Olek was getting too big for one person to carry.