A Merry Little Christmas

Chapter 23

Merry

In the bathroom at Holly Cottage, Merry slipped her robe off her shoulders and Cole hung it on the heated towel rail.

‘So it will be nice and warm for you after your bath.’ He tested the temperature of the water with his hand and turned on the hot tap.

‘You think of everything.’ She stepped as close to him as she could before her tummy got in the way.

He’d already helped her out of her dress and socks and into the robe. Normally, she’d insist on managing by herself, but tonight she didn’t have the energy.

‘I’m thinking of you, darling.’ His gaze was solemn. ‘Despite what you might think, and despite the fact I’m sometimes terrible at showing it, I always think of you. And I’m sorry for making you think that I’m only concerned about the baby.’

‘Oh, Cole.’ She rested her head on his chest. ‘I’m so embarrassed about losing my temper in the shop. I’m sorry for what I said about the baby.’ She stroked her bump gently. ‘And I apologise to you too, little one, for calling you the bloody baby. I didn’t mean it. I love you.’

‘No need to apologise for anything. It’s easy for me to give orders and remind you not to do too much. But if it was the other way around, I’d find it impossible to put my feet up. You know what a terrible patient I am.’

Cole had been properly ill only once since she’d known him, and he’d morphed into a cross between an overtired child and a starving bear. He’d injured his knee skiing and for an active man, that had been akin to a stint in solitary confinement.

‘It’ll be even harder to take it easier now that Dad …’ A lump formed in her throat. She was going to miss having a parent in her life, especially now that she was about to be one herself. She’d gone from being the younger generation to about to become the oldest and it was quite a tough lesson in mortality. ‘I’m so sad about my dad.’

‘I know, darling, I know.’ Cole stroked her hair and caressed the back of her neck. ‘But you were there for him in his last moments and your presence is the best gift you can ever give someone you love.’

She nodded, swallowing her tears. ‘And Emily was there too, even if she was only on a screen. I’m sure he’ll have been able to hear her voice.’

‘He was a lucky man to have two such wonderful daughters.’

They stayed like that for a few more moments, Merry relishing the comfort and steadiness of his body against hers, until her back started to ache from holding herself still.

The steam from the bath was mixing with the aroma from a Merry and Bright candle and the entire bathroom smelled amazing.

‘Rose and Peony, I notice?’ Merry inclined her head, impressed. ‘Nice choice. I’d have thought you’d have gone for Mistletoe Kiss.’

He slid his arms around her waist, resting his hands on her bottom. ‘I do have a soft spot for that one, seeing as I was your muse.’

She smiled, remembering how she’d tried to recreate the scent of his aftershave just after they’d met. She’d been dying to ask what he was wearing so she could google it and break down the essential oils, but to have done so, she’d have had to admit to liking how he smelled. In those early days, she wasn’t even ready to admit to herself how much she thought about him, let alone alert him. Nell had seen the sparks between them straight away and had teased her constantly about how often Merry brought his name into their conversation. Their first kiss had been under the mistletoe outside Merry and Bright, and so Mistletoe Kiss had been the obvious name for the candle which smelled as delicious as her husband.

‘However.’ He bent his head and whispered in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. ‘This is the candle you were burning in Holly Cottage the first time we met.’

‘I’m amazed you remember that,’ she murmured, tilting her head to one side as he traced a line of kisses from her ear to her collarbone.

‘How could I forget, you made a big impression on me. Whenever I smell this candle, I think of that day and how pretty you were.’

‘Were?’ she repeated.

‘ Are , darling.’

Merry laughed. ‘Good recovery, Mr Robinson.’

‘I’m learning,’ he said with a grin. ‘Right, are you ready for a relaxing bath?’

‘Absolutely.’ Not only had he lit candles, but gentle classical music was playing from a speaker, the bathwater had been sprinkled with pink rose petals and a bottle of fizz and two glasses poked out from a bucket of ice. ‘You’re spoiling me.’

He touched a finger to her lips tenderly. ‘Impossible. You deserve it.’

Merry didn’t think she did, not after the way she’d behaved recently, but she said nothing, not wanting to ruin the mood. She’d tell him later about Nell’s resignation and how she may well have just made things worse between Nell and Olek. For now, she needed this moment of romance with her husband. They needed to clear the air between them and reconnect, remind each other what made their relationship so special. Because it was, she thought, blinking away the tears which threatened to spill any moment.

‘Allow me, my lady.’ Cole held her hand to steady her as she climbed into the bath.

She sighed with pleasure as she sank lower into the warmth until only the baby bump was above the water. Her body began to unwind, and her legs, which had ached all day, suddenly felt weightless.

‘Bliss,’ she breathed, closing her eyes.

She listened to the sound of a cork being gently eased from a bottle and the fizz of liquid being poured into a champagne flute.

‘A glass of Nosecco for Madam?’

She opened her eyes and accepted the alcohol-free glass of bubbles she’d taken to drinking.

The first cold sip slid down her throat, a delicious contrast to the hot water surrounding her. While he poured one for himself, it struck her that he’d stopped drinking alcohol recently. She knew why; if they needed to go to hospital, he would want to be able to get them there without worrying whether he was over the limit or not. The fact that he’d simply made this decision without even mentioning it was so ‘him’, and made her love him even more.

‘Sit forward a bit.’ Cole gingerly lowered himself in to sit behind her. ‘Now lean back against me. Remember when you said this bath was too big and we’d never fill it,’ he said, squeezing his legs outside hers.

She giggled and laid her head back on his chest. ‘I do. I was wrong, you were right.’

‘Pardon?’ He pretended to be shocked. ‘Did you just admit you were wrong about something? Are you feeling OK?’

She let out a deep breath. ‘Not really. Everything is … well, life is a lot at the moment.’

He rested his glass on the end of the bath and encircled her with his arms, his hands resting lightly on her tummy. ‘I get it. I do, and … Listen, I’m going to make a suggestion and, knowing you as I do, I expect you to say no to it, but hear me out.’

She smiled at his tentative tone. ‘I’m all ears.’

‘Let me organise the funeral.’ He scooped warm water onto the baby bump and rose petals clung to her skin. ‘I know, I know, you want to be in control of everything but—’

‘OK,’ she replied quietly. She’d been mentally constructing a to-do list ever since leaving Springwood House earlier and had had to stop because it had begun to overwhelm her. Would she like to manage it herself? Yes. Did she already have an alarming number of things that she wanted to accomplish prior to Christmas? Also yes. And it would go against every natural inclination she had to let anybody help her, but with her induction date only a couple of weeks away and Christmas even closer, even she had to accept that she was never going to manage everything by herself.

‘At least let me deal with the funeral directors and do the running around, like registering the death, booking the wake and so on.’

‘OK,’ she said again.

‘I don’t mind checking in with you for sign-off, but it’ll be easier for me to …’ He stopped, realising what she’d just said. ‘Did you just agree?’

‘I did. There’s no one in the world I’d trust more than you. I’d love your help.’

He hugged her gently. ‘Thank you. You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that.’

‘I …’ She took her time, feeling her emotions thicken her throat. ‘I need help with a lot of things.’

‘Name them,’ he encouraged her. ‘Anything I can do to make your life easier, I’ll willingly do.’

She looked at his hands and linked her fingers between his. What had she done to deserve this man? There were so many things she wanted to say, about how letting others in made her vulnerable, how losing control of her life, her body, her freedom was freaking her out. How already she’d alienated Nell and ruined not only their working relationship but their friendship too. But there was one worry above all others that she knew she had to share with him: her fear that she wouldn’t be a good mother.

She shook her head, feeling embarrassed and glad that he was behind her and couldn’t see her face. ‘Cole? I’m scared.’

‘Oh, darling, that makes me sad to hear.’ He pressed his cheek against hers. ‘Why? Tell me.’

She swallowed. ‘I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t.’

He didn’t push her any further, just held her close. ‘When you’re ready, I’ll be there to listen. I’ll always be there, and whatever you’re scared of, we’ll face together. We’re a team, OK, you and me?’

‘And baby makes three.’

‘Hey, how about we talk about names?’ he said.

‘I’d like that.’ She smiled happily. They’d broached the subject several times. Cole had even suggested creating a spreadsheet at one stage, but she’d managed to persuade him against it. Choosing a name for their child should be a creative task, not one with columns and rows and tick boxes.

‘OK.’ He picked up his glass and took a sip. ‘I thought Robin. Works for a boy or a girl.’

‘What!’ She propelled herself up to sitting, sending a tidal wave of water over the edge of the bath. ‘Robin Robinson? Are you kidding me?’

From behind her came a low rumbling laugh. ‘I was kidding, yes, and it was totally worth it to see that reaction.’

‘You tease!’ Merry peered over the edge of the bath and snorted with laughter. ‘You might be changing your mind when you have to put on wet pyjamas.’

Cole pushed himself forward, sending an even bigger tsunami onto the bathroom floor.

‘Cole!’ she squealed. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Making you laugh,’ he said, burying his face into her neck and covering her with kisses, ‘because it’s the best sound in the world and I love it. And I love you. Far more than dry pyjamas.’

‘I love you too,’ Merry said. ‘Far more than anything.’

She leaned back into his embrace and felt the steady beat of his heart. She’d be fine, she told herself, she might not have much confidence in herself, but he had enough for both of them.