A Merry Little Christmas

Chapter 33

Nell

‘ Kochanie , I was passing, and I saw the light on.’ Irena didn’t wait to be asked in, but kissed both Nell’s cheeks and bustled past her.

‘What a nice surprise,’ Nell replied, pressing herself against the wall, out of her mother-in-law’s way.

She’d barely even unpacked the car and Irena had already appeared on the doorstep. Her ability to gauge when she and Olek were in was uncanny. It was often the way when they returned from a trip; no sooner was the first load of post-holiday washing in the machine than she would turn up with milk, a home-made cake and an update on any local goings-on that they might have missed. Nell sometimes wondered if Irena had hidden cameras set up somewhere and monitored their every move.

If Olek were here, they’d be exchanging amused looks. But he wasn’t, and the house felt echoey and sad without him. Secretly, she was glad that her mother-in-law had, quite by chance, been in the neighbourhood.

‘Bruhhhh!’ Irena set down her handbag and some foliage wrapped in newspaper, peeled off her coat and rubbed her arms. ‘This house is like my grandmother’s farm in the country: dark and cold. Why is the heating not on, or the Christmas lights?’

Nell had shivered just like that only a few moments earlier. Was this going to be her future, coming home to a dark, cold house, night after night? Although, as she didn’t have a job anymore, technically, there’d be no evening return from anywhere. Every cloud … she thought wryly.

‘I only arrived from my parents’ twenty minutes ago.’ Nell closed the front door and followed Irena into the kitchen. She stretched and rubbed the small of her back, which ached after the car journey.

Irena touched the kettle with the back of her hand. ‘Cold. You must need tea. You sit down, I make it.’

Nell had phoned her in-laws and let them know she’d gone home to spend time with her own parents, as they were going to be away for the Christmas season. But she still didn’t know what Olek had told them about his whereabouts.

Nell gladly took a seat at the kitchen island. Walking into the empty house had shaken her. It wasn’t just about the temperature, or the Christmas decorations; the very heart of the home was missing. And that, she thought, clamping her bottom lip between her teeth to stop it wobbling, was the love and laughter between her and Olek. And the sad fact was that things had been strained between them for longer than Nell cared to admit. She could pinpoint the moment exactly: the day they’d decided to seek help with their fertility journey.

Irena clattered spoons and mugs and jolted Nell out of her thoughts.

‘So, it’s lovely to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure?’ Nell asked.

‘I need to know how many for dinner on Christmas Eve,’ Irena said with a pout. ‘I’ve asked Olek, but he still hasn’t said. Huh, boys.’

Christmas Eve at Nell’s in-laws was taken very seriously and followed Polish traditions. It was raucous and fun, with mountains of delicious food, always served with plenty of booze. No matter how insistent Nell was that she be allowed to contribute something for the table, the answer was always no.

‘The recipes are from our families in Poland,’ Gienek had told her once. ‘My mother’s, my grandmother’s, and so on. Same for Irena. Britain has been a wonderful home to us, but our hearts will always belong to Poland,’ adding with a pat to his lean stomach, ‘and our bellies!’

‘Boys indeed,’ Nell replied faintly. If only Irena knew.

‘Gienek has ordered the fish already.’ Irena rolled her eyes. ‘We will have to hope it is big enough. I will not have my family going hungry at Christmas.’

‘I doubt that would ever happen in your house,’ Nell said, glad that the noise of the kettle was giving her an excuse not to answer Irena’s question for a moment.

‘So?’ Irena poured water into two mugs and stirred vigorously. ‘Are you and Olek trying to tell me that you won’t be with us this Christmas, is that it?’

‘No, no,’ Nell protested. ‘That’s not it at all. I just … Olek’s been so busy that we haven’t had time to talk about it, that’s all. And you know that Max has his football match in Liverpool on Christmas Eve, so by the time they are back, it will be late.’

Irena waved her concerns away. ‘We can wait.’ She set down mugs of tea on the table and climbed onto the stool beside Nell with a grunt. ‘We always eat after coming back from Mass anyway.’

‘True.’ Nell cast her mind back to the first Christmas she’d spent with Olek and his family. So different to her own family’s Christmas, which generally arrived in a hamper from Fortnum she was clearly about to get tough. She folded her arms. ‘Enough of the fairy tales. You at your parents, Olek away by himself. Neither of you going to the funeral. What has happened?’

‘Nothing much,’ Nell protested weakly.

‘You are like a daughter to me. I care about you as much as Olek.’ Irena patted her arm, then paused. ‘Well, almost as much. If you were to split up, I would have to be on his side. I hope you understand, but family is family. He will always be my son.’

‘I understand.’ On any other occasion, Nell would be struggling to hold back a snigger at that point. But now, with the very real possibility that Olek had left her for good, her words felt too prophetic to hold any humour.

‘Is this … Could this be about …’ Irena faltered and rubbed her neck awkwardly.

In all the years Nell had known her, she’d never seen her mother-in-law stuck for words. ‘What?’ she prompted.

‘Mumps?’ Irena looked at her from under her lashes. ‘Is this something to do with Olek having mumps when he was a boy? And babies?’

There was a pounding in Nell’s chest. Now what was she going to do? She couldn’t betray Olek’s confidence; she’d already let him down in so many ways. ‘You’ve lost me,’ she said, attempting a laugh.

Irena gave her a stern look and Nell felt her face heat up. She wasn’t going to get away with bluffing, she could tell.

‘Olek is a proud man, but with his mama, he is sometimes still the little boy who sat on my knee for a cuddle when his English friends laughed at his accent, and who cried in my arms when he found out Yvonna had cheated on him. And …’ Irena stared into her mug. ‘And who confided in me that you and he wanted to have a baby, but that it wasn’t working, so you needed to see a doctor.’

‘He told you?’ Nell stared at her, processing this, not knowing how to respond, or how much to say. He hadn’t told her that, but it made her love him more, knowing that it was important enough to him to want to share with his mother.

Irena gently reached for Nell’s hand. ‘He did. I’d hoped that you’d be able to tell me too, but I respect that we are all different. And I’m sorry you are going through this, I really am.’

Nell swallowed a lump in her throat. ‘Me too. It has been very difficult to stay positive, especially when Merry got pregnant.’

‘In your shop that night, when someone said that mumps could lead to infertility, I was watching you,’ said Irena softly. ‘You looked as if someone had knocked the wind from your lungs. When I asked Olek about your results, he wouldn’t tell me. But that evening, it all fitted together.’

‘That was the night I fell out with Merry too. I was so angry with her for not keeping her baby safe. Climbing up that stupid ladder when she was supposed to be taking it easy.’

Nell’s arms slid forward onto the kitchen island, and she let her head drop again. She was so weary, so heavy with emotion.

‘Merry does not have a mother to talk to about having a baby.’ Irena began to stroke Nell’s hair. It was very comforting and soon Nell felt the tension melt from her shoulders. ‘That, I think, is at the root of her fears. You have a mother and a mother-in-law who love you. And I am here if you want to talk.’

Nell lifted her head. Irena’s gaze was soft, her eyes misty with unshed tears. She was lucky to have this woman in her life. Perhaps if she told Olek’s mother the truth, between them they’d be able to get Olek to come home?

‘I always thought that I would be the one to have fertility issues,’ she began, ‘especially as Olek already had Max …’

For the next ten minutes, she found herself confiding in her mother-in-law, expressing her worst fears about their marriage and confessing her regret about her friendship with Merry. ‘It feels as if my entire life has derailed. Merry doesn’t want to know me, and I don’t know where my husband is.’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘These last few weeks have shown me how quickly life can pivot from dream to nightmare. Everything I was looking forward to: watching Max succeed at football, seeing Merry bring her baby into the shop, and then Olek and I welcoming a child of our own into the world … it’s all gone.’

Irena shook her head. ‘It hasn’t gone. But it will take a little effort from you and those around you.’

She smiled sadly. ‘People only make an effort if they think it’s worth it. Merry isn’t speaking to me and Olek …’ She sighed. ‘He still hasn’t forgiven me. I wish I knew where he was, then I could go to him and tell him how much I love him and want him home.’

‘Take heart, kochanie , you are worth it.’ Olek’s mother took Nell’s hand in hers. ‘Tell me to mind my own business, but I might be able to make him come home. He might listen to me.’

Nell smiled weakly. ‘Please try.’

‘OK, first I call him.’

Irena pulled out her phone and dialled. Once his voicemail kicked in, she let rip with a torrent of Polish that Nell didn’t need to be able to translate to understand; his mother was giving him a piece of her mind and Nell couldn’t help but be in awe of her.

‘Give him twenty-four hours and he will be back,’ said his mother smugly. ‘His uncle has a cabin in Scotland. Olek used to love it there. I think that’s where he’ll be.’

‘I hope so,’ said Nell meekly. She had missed out a few vital details about the reason Olek had been so angry with her; she was only human, after all, and didn’t want Irena to think too badly of her.

‘And when he does, talk to him.’ Irena gave her a pointed look. ‘Men are simple creatures; they like straightforward information. Tell him what you feel about having a family.’

‘But what if I don’t know myself?’ Nell shrugged.

Irena’s face softened. ‘You know. You just haven’t allowed yourself to think about it properly yet.’

‘Thank you.’ Nell squeezed Olek’s mum’s hand. She wasn’t quite sure what Irena had meant, but she hoped it would become clear.

‘I’d better go home, Gienek will be waiting to eat dinner.’

‘Have you got to cook it first?’

Irena smirked. ‘He is cooking. We got the rules sorted early on. One night a week is date night, and nobody cooks. Then one night a week, plus one day at the weekend, he’s in the kitchen – it has worked for more than forty years.’

‘You two have got life sussed.’ Nell smiled. ‘And what do I do about Merry?’

‘Do you want to go for the rest of your life without being friends again, eh?’ Irena chided.

‘No, definitely not!’ She shuddered at the thought. ‘Not if I can help it.’

‘In that case.’ Irena regarded her for a long moment. ‘You do whatever it takes, Nell. Whatever.’

‘Good advice, thank you.’ Nell helped her on with her coat.

‘Oh, you take this.’ Irena handed her the foliage wrapped in newspaper she’d arrived with. ‘Mistletoe. A big bunch. You will enjoy it more than Gienek and I will.’

‘Thank you. Fingers crossed I get to kiss Olek under it.’

Irena kissed her cheek. ‘You will – trust me, you will.’

Nell waved her off from the front door and turned to go back inside. Her mother-in-law was right, the house was looking dark and unloved. She’d ignore her unpacking for now and put her energy into turbocharging her Christmas decorations, starting with hanging mistletoe with red ribbon in every room.

Within thirty minutes, she was finished, and the house was transformed. She stood back and admired the bunch of mistletoe above their bed. Providing Irena’s words did the trick and brought him home, she and Olek were in for a lot of fun.

Tomorrow, while she waited for him to return, she’d go shopping for Merry and the baby. And then, armed with a peace offering, she’d visit her best friend and grovel like crazy until they were on speaking terms again. Because it was already December the twenty-second and Christmas without Merry didn’t feel like Christmas at all.