A Mountain Man Christmas Crush (Mountain Men of Granite Junction #1)

Chapter 9

The two weeks leading up to Christmas were busy for both Gene and Cam, and they were both working late most nights finishing custom orders. Since Gene was sleeping in the workshop, his days and nights basically ran together, and he didn’t mind the work. It kept his thoughts from turning to Sarah. He even missed the pup, the click of toenails, the rasp of his tongue. Damn it, he was lonely.

He hadn’t had any more nightmares, not of the war at least, but Sarah had visited his every dream, torturing him in other ways. Her sweet mouth, her tight pussy clenching him as she came, the sounds she made in the throes of passion. Damn, he missed her. But she was safer far away.

The pamphlet she’d pushed at him that fateful morning was pinned to his bulletin board, taunting him with the possibilities. He didn’t know why he took it. It gave both of them false hope about the future. But somehow, it had found its way into his grasp when he left her house.

A knock at the conjoined door between his and Cam’s workshops roused him out of his morose thoughts. “Come.”

Cam poked his head in, and he lifted a bag that had some amazing smells coming from it. “Want a break for lunch? Molly brought some burgers from Earl’s for both of us. Thought you might like a break.”

Damn it. Cam Miller. He’d hope to avoid the other man ever since he’d woken him up a couple of mornings ago from one of his nightmares. Cam had said nothing, just sat with him until the tremors passed, then left. But Gene knew he wouldn’t let it go that easily.

Gene nodded and gestured to the somewhat clean counter. They pulled up a couple of chairs and settled in to eat. Cam’s gaze wandered a bit and Gene was sure he didn’t miss the pallet in the back or the pile of clothes, but he didn’t comment on it. He had to have known Gene was sleeping there. His truck hadn’t moved in days, unless he went to get food.

By the time they were just about done, Cam settled back and studied him. “You ready to talk about what happened?”

“Nope.”

A ghost of a smile crossed Cam’s face. “Stubborn until the end. Let me guess then. You had a nightmare and scared her off. Then she asked you to leave.”

Gene frowned. “Of course not. Sarah is too kind. I had a nightmare and hurt her.”

A knowing look gleamed in Cam’s eyes. “That’s what I thought. Did she ask you to leave?”

“No. Did she tell you, or maybe Molly?”

Cam shrugged. “She hasn’t said anything to anyone. So, what happened?”

“I just told you. I had a nightmare, hurt her, and left before I do more damage.”

Cam nodded sagely. “So, you were protecting her by leaving.”

“Exactly.”

“Bullshit.”

Gene glared at him. “What?”

Cam stared at him placidly. “You heard me. Bullshit. You were protecting yourself. You’ve been doing it ever since you came here. Hiding out, avoiding people, keeping to yourself. Oh, you help others and sometimes join us, but, mostly, you avoid all connections. Take it from someone who knows. That is not a way to live.”

“It was different for you,” Gene replied.

Cam nodded. “Yes, it was. But the path is similar. Find the courage to reach out, overcome your own fears.”

Gene snorted. “I think my fears, as you put it, are a little more than being rejected by the town’s busy-bodies.”

“Very true. But have you even tried to work through the nightmares? Yes, I’ve heard you. I know you’re sleeping here and I know you have dreams. You had one two nights ago. You didn’t attack me when I woke you up. You controlled it. Somehow. Maybe you could learn how to do it again. Talking to that support group and maybe the therapist could help.”

“I tried that,” Gene admitted. “When I first came back, I went to all the groups, all the therapists, all the sessions. But they never helped.”

“Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe you needed motivation. Maybe you needed time. I don’t know. But isn’t a future with Sarah worth giving it another shot?”

Fuck, how could Cam pull Sarah into this? But wasn’t that the core of the entire issue? He wanted that future with her. Desperately. He missed her and not just the sex but her laughter, their chess games, their casual conversation over dinner. He was tired of being alone. He wanted more.

He looked at Cam. “Let me guess. You already made an appointment?”

The corner of his mouth quirked into a smile. “Hell no. You make that move yourself. But I know the support group is meeting this afternoon and I can drive over with you, if you want.”

Gene heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I think I’m ready.”

* * *

W ell, this wasn’t how Sarah wanted to spend Christmas Eve. Alone, staring at the fire, and a chessboard that contained too many memories. She wasn’t exactly alone. Bo had proven to be an excellent companion, stuck to her side like glue, though she knew he missed Gene terribly, often going to that room and curling up on his bed as if hoping he’d come back soon. Sarah even slept in there a few nights, the room having long since become Gene’s to her rather than her father’s, and she swore she could feel his arms around her, even though they had never shared that bed. Both her and Bo slept better there, but that wasn’t saying much since she rarely slept more than a few hours without thinking of Gene.

But she refused to call him or even go to the shop to see how he was doing. She was tempted to call Molly, ask her if Cam had said anything. But no, Gene was an adult and could handle himself. She’d spend the time licking her wounds and heartache and, once winter was over, emerge from hibernation stronger and ready to move on. She only wished she knew how he was doing.

She’d had plenty of invitations for the holiday evening and the next day. As if going out to The Rock that night she went with Gene two weeks ago had signaled to everyone that she was ready to join the world again, her friends had all invited her for dinner and dessert and more. She accepted an invitation to Molly’s for Christmas Day but declined everything on the eve, needing this time to be alone. Though, she’d been alone for the two weeks prior, despite friends dropping by at the oddest times. At least she’d had time to make a lot of soap and lotion, using up her stores of goat’s milk and, as promised, Daniel had shown up with help to set up an Etsy shop to sell online, with a plan for the new year and more online options.

It was a little intimidating, but she needed the busy work to stop thinking of Gene and how she’d basically threw him away with her ultimatum. She knew better than anyone how men hated those. Her stubborn-ass father would snarl about anything resembling an ultimatum, eventually doing exactly what she didn’t want. And Gene was far more difficult than her father ever was, and that was saying a lot.

Sarah sipped her eggnog and rum, her normal hot chocolate ruined by thoughts of Gene, and curled up on the couch with Bo snuggled next to her, his head in her lap, snoring softly. Suddenly, he lifted his head and cocked it, staring at the front windows. His tail thumped on the couch a couple of times, hesitantly, then he jumped down and raced into the kitchen. He wasn’t much of a guard dog, but this was unusual behavior. She followed him, the blanket wrapped around her to ward off the chill.

A figure loomed at the back door, and she didn’t need to light to know it was Gene. Bo’s whole body wiggled as he danced and jumped at the door, clearly ecstatic over seeing his master again. She pulled the blanket tighter as if it were armor and opened the door. Bo raced out and jumped right on Gene, crying and whimpering his joy at seeing the man.

Gene laughed, a rusty sound, and knelt, loving up the dog who was clearly in heaven. After a moment, he got to his feet and looked at Sarah, who was staring at him, noting his tired eyes, the exhaustion written in every line on his face and his stooped shoulders. She resisted the urge to smooth those lines and clutched the blanket tighter.

“I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

“I thought you might be out for the holiday. I had a gift for you and Bo and thought I’d leave it at your door.”

She tried to hide the flash of pain at the thought that he was avoiding her, then she thought, screw it. “If you wanted to avoid me, I could go back inside and pretend I never saw you.”

He stepped forward, a hand raised as if to take her arm, then he dropped it. “You don’t understand. I’m glad you’re home. I just assumed you’d have things to do, people to celebrate with.”

“Forgive me for not feeling much like celebrating tonight.” She turned and headed inside, leaving the door open for him to decide what he wanted to do. Maybe she was being a bitch but damn it, he’d left and hadn’t called once, not even to check on Bo.

Toenails clicked on the kitchen floor, indicating Bo had come inside. Heavy footsteps followed her into the kitchen. She sat at the table, not willing to go into the more comfortable living room. She wanted to get this over with so she could return to her planned pity party.

Gene loomed above her, clearly at a loss for what to do. He then let out a sigh and shoved a piece of paper at her. She stared at it for a moment. “What is this?”

“I’ve been going to that support group and I’ve met with that therapist. I have weekly appointments for now. I don’t know what will happen, but I want to try. Not just for you, but for me.”

He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. “Sarah, I hadn’t realized how lonely I was until you forced yourself into my life. You opened your home and your heart to me, not asking for anything more. I broke trust with you and broke your heart, and for that, I’m sorry. You deserve so much more; you deserve everything.”

She blinked rapidly against the tears filling her eyes. “Gene, I only want you to be happy, whether or not you’re with me. You deserve a full life.”

“So do you, baby. And I want to be in your life forever, if you’ll have me. But first, I have some work to do, if you can be patient with me.”

She pulled her hands from his grasp and cupped his cheeks, wetness spilling from her eyes. “Of course I can. But you’re not sleeping in that damned workshop. Not anymore. You’re staying here, where you belong. Bo and I miss you.”

He leaned forward and kissed their clasped hands, tears from his own eyes dripping onto their shared hands. “I’ve missed you both so much. We’ll have to be careful, but I want to try again. And I promise, I won’t run if something goes wrong. We’ll work it out together.”

“You’d better or I’ll use something I learned in lesson four.”

He arched his eyebrow. “Lesson four?”

“Tying and securing your suspect,” she teased.

A grin crossed his face, and he stood, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. “I think that could be arranged, though I prefer to do the tying.”

She shivered in his arms and tilted her head for his kiss. Her lips opened for him, emotions swamping her, pure joy coursing through her, as their tongues tangled sweetly. He lifted his head and brushed his lips across her cheeks.

“Ready for your Christmas gift?”

She cocked her head. “I thought I already got it.”

“Not exactly.” He held out a small package. “This is part two.”

She ripped open the paper and the small box to find what appeared to be a remote-control keychain. “What’s this?”

“Since I’m attached to my balls, this is a personal safety alarm. The noise is piercing and should break my nightmares. Though, if you need to, feel free to do whatever you need to stop me.”

“Does this mean you’ll be sleeping with me all night?”

He nodded. “I’m willing to give it a shot. There might be times I need space, but we’ll work through it.”

She smiled. “Together. I’m so glad you’re home for Christmas.”

Sometimes, Christmas wishes came true.