A Queen of Ice (A Trial of Sorcerers #5)

Chapter 6

6

H er parents took her to their room upstairs. It was basic and sparse, underscoring how they had only managed to escape with whatever was on their backs. Still, Eira couldn’t resist sweeping the room with her magic, catching echoes that clung to each object. Neither of her parents were sorcerers, so she, somewhat expectedly, didn’t find much. All the voices were unfamiliar and likely belonged to previous owners of the bedframe or chair.

“How did you end up in Qwint?” Eira asked as she settled on the lone chair. Her parents were opposite, side by side on the edge of the bed.

“When…it happened,” Herron began. Reona’s eyes were instantly vacant as they stared through the present and back to that fateful day. “We fled with the rest. It was chaos…so much fire and violence.”

Eira barely resisted pointing out that she knew viscerally how chaotic and bloody that day had been. But, clearly, she’d had more success over the past few months working through the echoes of that night than they had. She let them explain it in their own way, and their own time.

“We were pushed along with the pack of people trying to escape. There were people who fell…barely recognizable.”

Reona grimaced, staring at her feet as if she could still see the men and women who had been trampled beneath her.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Eira was compelled to say; she was familiar with how easily guilt wormed its way through every thought. Both of her parents seemed startled. “Those people, while incredibly unfortunate…it wasn’t your fault they died. It wasn’t anyone’s. It was just how it happened.” A crowd moving that quickly was more dangerous than a ravenous beast. “There was nothing you could’ve done to save them, either.”

“It’s hard to find peace with a cruel death like that…there’s always something that could be done,” Reona said softly.

The contradiction to her sentiment caused Eira to bite the insides of her cheeks. She resisted the urge to further emphasize her point. But doing so would only put her in a different bind. She’d be admitting to them just how many people she’d killed. A fact that they knew only the tip of, now. Something that was also underscored by her mother’s statement— hard to find peace with a cruel death like that … Like the deaths by Eira’s own hands? A peace that her parents would never have with someone like her? Even after all they’d seen, they still believed there was a simplicity to the world that indicated there would be justice, good and evil, righteousness. All lines that had blurred together in Eira’s world into a flat, gray color.

“In any case”—Herron seemed to sense the tension and continued—“we followed the masses. One group had split away, talking of a boat along the river that could escape the carnage. They didn’t object to anyone boarding. We got on with the intention of getting off at Risen but…”

“By the time we got there, they’d already burned all the Solaris ships,” Reona finished.

“How did you escape?” Eira asked, veiling some of her curiosity for the state of Risen with her compassion for them. “Was Risen mostly normal other than the attack on the Solaris ships?”

“Far from it.” Herron shuddered. “The city was burning, led by a man they claimed was anointed by the goddess.”

Ulvarth .

“He certainly looked it,” Reona added. “Neither magic nor weapons could touch him. They all seemed to reflect off.”

“Reflect off?” Eira repeated, curious. Ulvarth didn’t have magic…unless he’d managed to open his channel once more? It was worth knowing what she’d be facing when she arrived. Though the likelihood of getting clear answers from her parents were slim with how little they knew about Lightspinning.

“We didn’t get close enough to see.” Reona shook her head.

“Nor would we have wanted to. We were focused on surviving.” Something about the way Herron spoke made Eira think that he assumed she’d be upset at them for not investigating. Eira held her tongue. Any remark she’d make about how Ulvarth would annihilate them with a look would be offensive.

“There were those pillaging the river so we had to move quickly,” Reona continued, “but somehow we made it out into the great bay of Meru. From there, we managed to stop at the port of Parth.”

Eira knew the city: It was one of the last major ones on the southern half of Meru. A port that could collect resources like furs and timber from Hokoh—the largest city—and ferry it to Risen faster than the land routes.

“I take it the Pillars hadn’t made it to Parth?” Eira asked.

“Not from what we saw,” Herron said. Though Eira was instantly skeptical of that, after Ofok. Though, perhaps Ulvarth had exerted his force there because he knew if she were to escape by water, it was there or Risen.

“Those from Qwint took us in. There were no vessels going to Solaris and it didn’t seem safe to stay on Meru any longer. We didn’t want to wait and see what happened,” Reona said. “They said Qwint had a long history of taking in refugees and allowed us to come. That it was also a seafaring city, for the most part, and they’d find a way to get a ship back to Solaris.”

Eira resisted pointing out that if their goal was to keep themselves safe, they’d picked an odd location by going farther from Solaris, from Meru where Solaris would likely be sending forces to take vengeance, and to a city-state that was in constant peril from their larger neighbor. But, however unlikely, their choice had worked out. Because she was here, now.

“How did you escape?” Herron turned the story to her.

“And come to be associated with the dreaded pirate queen?” Reona whispered in horror. She moved faster than Eira could react, falling to her knees and scooping up Eira’s hands. Between the contact and her mother’s wide, glistening eyes, Eira was stunned to silence for a beat. “We tried so hard to save you from this slander. From the rumors and myths that we feared would haunt your every step. Forgive us that we failed.”

Reona pressed her forehead into Eira’s knuckles, drawing shuddering breaths. Eira was still too startled to react. Part of her felt like she should offer her mother comfort. The other part wanted to tell her parents that she was, indeed, “involved” with the pirate queen’s slander and had loved every minute of it. That the “dreaded Adela” had become part mother, part teacher to her.

But Eira stayed her verbal blades. She wanted peace with them more than she had realized when she’d entered.

“It’s all right,” she encouraged. Hoping that if they walked away thinking one thing, it would be that. The more she said it, the more she realized it was all that she wanted, too. She wanted things to be all right enough that she could move on from this once and for all. “I went in the opposite direction as you—to Ofok. It’s a town to the northwest of Meru and the other exit of the river. I had a ship I also escaped on, and then managed to find another vessel that was more seaworthy. We came here to deliver Lavette and Varren—the only two of Qwint’s competitors that survived.”

Eira made the choice to gloss over certain elements that pertained to Adela. Everything she said was more or less true…as true as they needed to know.

“What matters is that all of us are all right.” There were those words again, said softly, as if she were speaking to a child. Eira shifted her grip and lifted her mother’s face to give her an encouraging smile, feeling like the roles were reversed. “Did you find Uncle?”

Reona shook her head, withdrawing a hand to stifle a sob.

“We tried, but we didn’t see him,” Herron said.

“I’m sure he’s all right,” she offered, sounding more confident than she felt. There was nothing guaranteed, but… “If we all could manage to survive, then I’m sure he could, too.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Reona smiled, brighter and more hopeful than she should be…but Eira wasn’t about to diminish that flame. Instead, she smiled back and said nothing as her mother continued to speak. “It’s such a relief to see you here—to know you’re safe.”

“Is it?” Eira couldn’t stop the words from escaping. She’d been doing so well. But they slipped out.

“Of course it is.” Reona’s eyes went wide. “How could you ever think otherwise?”

“You weren’t overly concerned with my safety after Marcus.” Her words had more of a chill than she would’ve otherwise wanted. But there was no going back now. For all she wanted peace—and part of her did yearn for it—Alyss was right; this was better settled.

“Eira—” Herron began.

She cut him off with a look. “Don’t take that tone with me.” Her mother drew away, aghast. Her shock turned Eira’s chill into a deep freeze. “Don’t speak to me as if I am a child acting out.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” He frowned.

“No. I am trying to speak with you both about how you wounded me. I needed you then. I needed you after. And you weren’t there.”

“We were mourning.” Reona stood. “Our only son had died.”

“And your daughter was still alive.” Unless you never saw me that way? She couldn’t bring herself to ask the question. Even after all this time, all she’d been through and learned. It was too much. “ I needed you ,” she repeated, more desperate than the last. “I was alone, and scared. I blamed myself every second of every minute of every hour of every day for his death.”

“We’re sorry.” Reona sat heavily back on the bed. Even though she said the words Eira had been hoping to hear, they didn’t quite feel the way she’d been hoping they’d feel. It didn’t alleviate the tension that had knotted between her shoulders from the moment she’d entered. “I could barely eat. Barely function… What could I have done for you?”

“Been there for me,” Eira answered, even though she suspected the question was rhetorical. “I know I wasn’t, in many ways, the daughter you wanted, but—” Herron opened his mouth to speak. Eira held up a hand to stop him. “Let’s be honest with each other, shall we? I’m not a child any longer. I know the truth about everything.”

“Everything?” Reona whispered softly. Eira wondered if her mind had gone to Adela. To the mysterious symbol that had been pinned to Eira’s breast as a babe and had somehow, in a way her birth mother could’ve never imagined, set in motion Eira’s destiny.

“Everything,” Eira repeated, allowing them to think what they would about the context of the word. “I know the two of you did the best you could. But there were times where it wasn’t enough. Times where all I wanted was the same support I saw you give to Marcus and yet I never got it. I was left to feel second, unworthy, and at times unloved.”

The moment she said those words, Eira felt lighter. She could sit a little taller and breathe a little easier.

“Of course we loved you.” Herron’s face flushed with offense. “We took you in, raised you—we braved the seas to see you compete and to cheer you on.”

“I’m grateful for those things,” Eira said. “I am. But there were times that I needed so much more and I saw it was in your ability to give. I just wasn’t worthy of the effort.” Eira stood, sensing the conversation was reaching its end. She crossed over to her mother, who looked up in shock as Eira leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently. As if Reona were the child. “But, despite all that…I do love you both. I know you did the best you could with what you were handed—with who you are.”

“Eira,” her mother whispered, clutching for her hand as if to hold her there. Clinging to what might be their last moment together. Maybe a part of her still clung to the girl Eira had once been. Back when they all still had a chance at being a real family.

Eira smiled faintly. “I’ll make sure you get home all right.”

“What about you?” Reona asked.

“I have work to do,” Eira said solemnly. “I can’t go back to Solaris…probably not for some time. But, when I’m able, I will. And I will make it a point to see you both.”

She meant it, and perhaps they knew it too because their shocked stares shifted into what more closely resembled quiet resignation. Eira held out a hand to her father. He looked between it and her face, searching. For a second, she thought he’d refuse her peace offering. But ultimately he took it and they shared a firm shake.

“Thank you for all you did do for me,” Eira said gently.

“We do love you,” Reona said, and Eira truly believed that she meant it.

“I know. Be safe, and be happy.” With that, Eira left them. She immediately heard another muffled sob, murmurs of her father. Hasty conversations. But they didn’t follow her down the stairs. Eira paused on the last step, looking up, wondering if they’d chase after her to beg her to come home. To scold her one last time.

But they did neither.

It was over .

They would always be a part of her past. But they were no longer relevant to her present. Neither were the wounds they’d left. Those could finally scar over for good, the redness of the infection fading with every step.

Alyss was chatting with the soldier when Eira emerged. Cullen was at her side.

“Need a sticky bun?” she said without missing a beat. “Lou here says he knows a good spot that has some kind of sweet bun unique to Qwint but it seems close enough.”

“I don’t need one.” Eira took in a breath of fresh air. “But I think I’d like one.”