A Queen of Ice (A Trial of Sorcerers #5)

Chapter 45

45

S he woke to a steady and familiar rocking. A chorus of creaks and the faint whine of ropes straining filled her ears, followed by the scratch of a pen. Cracking open her eyes, she saw a familiar room surrounded her. An expansive bed, bookshelves dominating the opposite wall, a table that was used more often as a desk…and two wingback chairs positioned in front of the windows that overlooked the back of the Stormfrost . One of which was occupied.

Adela sat in the chair, somewhat angled toward the bed. She had her ankle propped on her frosty knee, a book perched on her lap. The pen Eira’d been listening to glided over the pages, the pirate queen’s attention fully enraptured by whatever notes she was jotting down.

Or at least Eira thought her focus was wholly consumed.

“Took you long enough,” Adela murmured without so much as glancing her way.

“Sorry,” Eira mumbled. She went to sit and instantly found herself off-keel. Eira repeated the process to no more success. One of her arms wasn’t working…

“Don’t rush it.” Adela was at her side.

Eira hadn’t heard or seen her move. Her focus was entirely on her side. Eira reached out her right hand. Fingers trembling, they hovered where her left arm should be. Once was.

Her ears rang. She blinked several times, as if she could wake herself up from what was certainly a strange dream. The sleeve of her sleeping gown hung limply over a stump at her shoulder. Bandages covered her skin, dulling the sensation of the fabric gliding over top.

Yet…somehow she felt it. More than the stump, phantom tingles and pains ran up from the hand Ulvarth had stabbed through with the dagger. She could still grip the fingers of the severed hand. Feel the muscles in her arm tense. As if it were still there. Except, it wasn’t .

“The pain will go away, eventually.” Adela’s words were even and calm. But there was a touch of gentle understanding under her perpetual matter-of-fact demeanor.

“Why?” The word felt distant, like it came from someone else’s lips.

“The poison.” Adela sank to the edge of the bed, staring out the windows. Eira only saw through her periphery. Her focus was solely on the spot where her arm should be. “It’s necrotic. It immediately starts rotting the flesh by the wound, but it spreads in the blood and will build up elsewhere, if you let it. With two points of injury, one as severe as it was, the only way we could stop it from completely claiming you was by removing the arm.”

The pirate queen shifted. Eira didn’t realize what she was doing until Adela’s hip was exposed. She’d pulled her heavy coat to the side and adjusted her trousers just enough to expose her side above the leg that was missing. The leg she’d sought revenge for by sending Eira to the mines on Carsovia.

Adela’s pale flesh was riddled with dark veins, gray, stony skin suspended between them. It was worse lower on the hip. Eira suspected that underneath her trousers, right by where the pirate queen’s own leg had been amputated, was likely all black.

Eira lifted her eyes to meet Adela’s. Shifting once more, Adela pulled back the collar of her shirt, exposing a portion of her upper chest. More of the dark veins were there. Less severe. But as prominent as they were undeniable.

“You…”

“That poison is as wicked as everything else that comes off Carsovia. I was too slow in cutting off the damn thing to stop its spread.” Adela motioned to her leg made of ice. “I’ve been battling with it ever since.” She turned to face Eira. “That’s how I knew, with you, what had to be done. Stop it before it could go too far. Though, I admit, I wish I could’ve at least told you before it happened.”

Eira’s attention shifted back to her missing arm. She imagined herself moving it, as if studying a hand that was no longer there. Jolts of pain fired through her shoulder at the effort. Now, she wondered if the chill she’d felt on her left side had been the poison at all, but rather Adela beginning the amputation back in the fight with Ulvarth—trying to slow the poison.

“What now?” Eira whispered. She hadn’t intended to vocalize the question.

Since she had, Adela answered, “Now you’ll learn how to use a limb of ice.”

Her Uncle Grahm had done as much. Adela had two limbs of ice. Eira had even managed with one, more or less, in Carsovia when she’d used ice to hold together her leg. It wasn’t the end; logically she knew that. Emotionally…she was still caught on the spot where her arm should be.

Cool fingertips rested lightly on her cheek, guiding Eira’s face back to Adela’s. The pirate queen leveled her gaze. Eira swallowed thickly.

“This will not shake you.”

Eira managed a nod. Adela was right; she’d been through so much…too much to have this be what stopped her in her tracks. The initial waves of shock and grief were already passing.

“Good.” Adela’s hand fell from her face and she stood. “Because the fates have shown their cards and I am more committed than ever.”

“Where are we?” Eira tried to put her thoughts elsewhere.

“Not far from the Isle of Frost.”

Eira blinked. That far? She knew she’d promised Adela that once she’d extracted her revenge against Ulvarth, she’d be her heir and sail across the lands. That she’d never look back.

But part of her had been expecting to be able to say goodbye. Were her friends even here?

Eira worked to hide her turmoil and disappointment. “Risen?”

“Fine, as ever. You didn’t implement any lasting damage.”

“Good.” At the mention of “lasting damage,” Eira took stock of the rest of her body. It didn’t seem like there were too many other wounds. “So, Isle of Frost to restock, and then off to pirate some unsuspecting shores?”

“You know the general idea.” Adela nodded. “Not much longer now.” She retrieved a waterskin from the table by the chairs. She returned and uncorked the top. “You’ll catch on to this quickly. And, while I’ll admit there’s nothing like your own flesh and bone, I daresay a part of you might enjoy having an arm that is part water, part ice, part weapon, and all magic.”

Eira gave a slight nod. As Adela had said, the fates had shown their cards and this was what she was destined for.

“Summon the water,” Adela instructed.

Eira did so, guiding it from the waterskin to the stump attached to her shoulder.

“First make it look like an arm.”

Eira focused intently on the water. It was easy enough to forge into the shape. Both natural and unnatural. Natural in that it felt like an extension of her. The power was familiar and as second nature to control as her right arm was. But unnatural in sight. It was wrong to see that watery, nebulous arm taking shape where her body should be.

No, not wrong, different , she reminded herself firmly. Wishing for what had been would pass quickly, Eira vowed. This was a change. Albeit an unexpected one. But not one that would alter her course. She still had the power to forge her own path.

Mother above, she’d be all the more fearsome for it.

“Good.” Adela’s praise was genuine. “Next we will harden it to ice, and then work on its movements…”

Eira wiggled the fingers on her icy hand. It was still an odd phenomenon.

She’d been working on it with Adela for the better part of the day, but eventually the pirate queen had wandered off, declaring she had “better things to do” and that Eira would “simply have to figure the rest out on her own.” With that, Eira had been left to dress herself as the setting sun streamed through the back windows.

The clothes were ones she’d never worn before. A pair of light gray, woolen trousers and a crisp white shirt with ruffles on the sleeves. Adela had set out two pairs of leather gloves—one black, one white. Eira selected the white ones.

At first, her frozen hand was too large and she nearly gave in to frustration with her struggles. Then she remembered that she could adjust the shape of the ice to fill it perfectly.

It was more natural with the sleeve and the glove. Staring at her arm now, she could almost tell herself that she hadn’t lost the arm at all. Eira balled her hands into fists, and then rolled up her sleeves so the slightest bit of ice was showing.

She had nothing to hide from the world…or from herself. This was who she was now. Eira turned her gaze to the mirror, sweeping hair from her eyes.

The streak of white that had been left behind from her initial experimentation from the rune and echoes had migrated across all her hair, as if the color had been bleached from it. Her eyes were a pale blue, the color fainter than ever before. Yet, somehow, her gaze was sharper for it. Scars lined her cheeks.

She no longer recognized herself. Yet…had never felt more like the woman she was meant to be.

Eira started for the door, taking a breath before making her return to the world. Crow wasn’t outside. Though it didn’t take long for Eira to spot a friendly face.

“Ducot!” Eira sprinted up to the quarterdeck. He barely had time to react before she crashed into him. “You made it!”

“No thanks to you.” Even as he huffed and muttered, his arms wrapped around her waist, returning the squeeze. “So dramatic, sleeping for days, losing an arm…”

“I know, I’m the worst.” Eira released him with a slight smile. “You managed the shift rift all right?”

“Risen’s still standing, as am I, so we’ll call it good enough.” His grin suggested there was lasting damage.

She almost hesitated before asking the next question but she had to know. “Everyone else?” Adela had told her nothing. Though, their focus had been elsewhere.

“Yonlin and Olivin are back in Risen.”

“And Olivin?” Her heart skipped a beat.

Ducot nodded. “He was in rough shape. Would’ve offered to bring him aboard, but given his wounds and the chaos, it was better for him to stay and get patched up.”

He’s alive . The knowledge was bittersweet. Eira’s attention drifted in the direction of Meru—opposite of where they were going. He was so very far from her now. But…even if Olivin hadn’t been so wounded, he would’ve stayed behind. He’d said as much to her; he needed to ensure his brother was safe in the aftermath. There would be no way he could know peace if he wasn’t sure of Yonlin’s wellbeing. And Yonlin wasn’t going anywhere without Alyss…

“Alyss is with them,” Ducot said, almost in tandem with her thoughts.

A dull ache throbbed against her ribs. Her friend, her best friend … The goodbye she might never have a chance to say was ashen on her tongue. Eira continued to stare at the line of frosted sea that churned behind the Stormfrost , arcing in the direction of Meru. No land was in sight.

The pain was more muted than she’d otherwise expect because she wasn’t surprised. Alyss had made it clear that this life wasn’t for her. And then there was whatever was blooming between her and Yonlin… Not to mention, there hardly were printing presses at sea suitable to bind and distribute a book.

“Adela didn’t give anyone much time.” Ducot rested a hand on her shoulder, as if he could sense her turmoil. “Our pirate queen returned with you, wounded herself, and told us it was time to go. She didn’t want to delay and be wrapped up in the aftermath.”

“Yes. That’s not her concern,” Eira agreed. She could imagine it perfectly. Adela had no business to be on Meru and wouldn’t want to outstay her welcome, lest hostilities turn toward her.

“We can go back,” he encouraged. “Get another small vessel from the Isle of Frost, something that will be much less suspicious. Though, you’re as recognizable as she is now.”

“Luckily I’m good at illusions.” Eira wasn’t going to get her hopes up for returning to Meru. She was at Adela’s whims now. Taking a small boat for a personal trip likely wouldn’t be in the cards. “And Cullen?”

“Ask him yourself what possessed him to return to the jaws of the beast that is the Stormfrost . The man ran to the docks to make sure we didn’t leave without him.”

“What?” Eira whispered.

“He’s down below now, I think. Took the night shift so he might be?—”

Eira was gone before Ducot had a chance to finish.

Heart thundering louder than her feet down the stairs and into the first level of the vessel, Eira threw herself into the twilight of belowdecks. Her eyes were drawn immediately to the hammocks they’d last occupied. But they were empty. Ducot wouldn’t play such a cruel game …

“Over there,” Crow mumbled as she passed, eyes still red with sleep.

Eira followed the woman’s finger, too speechless to even give her thanks. Sure enough, there Cullen was. Laid out and deep asleep.

The distance between them closed in a breath. Her arms were around him. The hammock spun and they toppled to the floor, him flailing and shouting, her bursting with laughter.

He stilled as her laughter slowed. Cullen sat and she did the same. They simply stared at each other. Matching, bittersweet smiles.

“I thought you would’ve gone back to Solaris,” Eira admitted.

“I told you that wasn’t what I wanted.” He reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb grazing against her skin and sending shivers down her spine.

“I saw you with the Imperial family, it looked so right.”

“Anywhere that isn’t next to you couldn’t be right for me.” His other hand framed the opposite side of her face. His thumbs caressed over her eyebrows. He drank her in with his eyes and Eira eagerly awaited his verdict. “Your hair…”

“You like it?” Not that she would change it now if he didn’t.

“There is nothing you could do that would make you less stunning in my eyes.” He drew her forward. His lips met hers.

She still didn’t know if she would want to kiss him for forever. If this was meant to be always. She couldn’t promise him she’d never want to explore another lover on the side, perhaps even with him. But the uncharted territories of their future were as thrilling as the corners of the map yet unexplored.

It didn’t have to be forever.

Right now, he made the day brighter, and the pain a little more numb. He made the nights less lonely and the hours pass a little faster.

So Eira leaned into the kiss. She grabbed him by the collar to half crawl into his lap. Damn whoever might see. Let them. She was Adela’s heir, the frozen tyrant. She was free of the madman who’d hunted her and she’d never be made to feel guilty for anything ever again.

If she wanted, she would take. If she needed, she would have. And, for now, he was everything she needed and then some.