A Soul to Embrace (Duskwalker Brides #8)

Chapter 17

“Get out of the sun and speak to me properly!” Fayren shouted from outside, jolting Zylah awake beneath the blanket covering her.

The little Demon had been kind enough to offer Zylah her own bed upon discovering she was tired after two days of travel with little rest. Then, after hours of reading all three books from cover to cover, the perverted images leaving her body aching and her mind reeling, she’d almost caved.

Although she knew it wasn’t possible, especially after what she’d read, it’d felt like her heat had come back with a vengeance. The only thing stopping her from touching herself was that she was in a stranger’s home... and that she didn’t wish to be discovered doing it. But the ache wouldn’t stop, and it was only upon reading more educational chapters rather than peering at erotic images that she ended up settling.

By the time Fayren returned, a distressed Zylah had tired herself out completely. She blamed it on all the travelling both she and Jabez had done to get there, and how they’d needed to sprint non-stop to the middle ring.

The fox Demon had cooed at her as she directed Zylah to lie down. She even pulled the blanket up to her chin, while checking to make sure Zylah was well, and if she had any questions regarding anything.

The only thing she’d asked was of Jabez’s whereabouts. Apparently he’d gone off to rest as well.

Zylah had attempted to deny Fayren’s generosity and go find him, worried due to being apart for so long, but the Demon was stern when she wanted to be. Actually, she was kind of scary when she frowned disapprovingly, causing Zylah to chitter nervously under her glare.

She drew her knees up further, being forced to curl into a ball due to the tiny size of the bed, as she heard Jabez’s voice coming from outside. Her orbs sparked to life, turning from black to teal, and she looked around the home she was in.

Despite being in heavy shade from the massive trees nearby, Zylah could tell it was day.

“I’m sorry if I pushed too far,” Fayren stated loudly, her voice frantic and filled with worry. “I shouldn’t have made you talk about such things.”

“You poked and prodded, and now you must wear the consequences of your meddling,” Jabez answered calmly, and Zylah could almost picture his dull expression.

“Please reconsider this.”

“My decision is final.”

At their obvious arguing, Zylah’s orbs shifted to dark yellow in curiosity. She pushed back the bedding, brought her feet to the ground, and stood. She made sure her footsteps were light as she walked towards the round window next to Fayren’s door.

Standing in bright sunshine right next to the garden’s beam fencing, Jabez had his arms folded and his back turned to the light. The familiar cloak covered him from head to toe.

Fayren stood in the shade of a tree, refusing to get too close to the edge for fear of being burned. She waved her hand towards her home. “My house is too small. I had to forgo sleep just to allow her to get some rest.”

Zylah flinched when she realised that, for some reason, they were arguing about her. She lowered into a crouch so only her skull would be visible, just so she could watch.

She wished she could see Jabez’s expression properly, but she could only make out his nose and the tips of his lips and chin.

“It’s only for a day or two,” Jabez stated with an exasperated sigh, shaking his head.

“I don’t give a shit how long it is, you pompous Elf!”

His response was immediate and held the undertone of a growl. “You know I don’t like being referred to as one of them .”

“What you’re asking for is too much,” Fayren said. Her red ears were pressed all the way back and had been for the entire conversation.

“You said you like her.”

“Oh, don’t give me that! Leaving Zylah here with me for even a day is unfair on her and me. My home is just big enough for me, Jabez. The poor girl barely fits on my bed. Where will I sleep? Where will she?”

Zylah’s head reared back as white filled her vision. He is planning to leave... without me? Her heart clenched in worry.

She’d been concerned when she’d gone to sleep without checking in with him. The last few days had been hard, and there had been a noticeable strain between them. She thought coming here would help lessen that, but now it appeared he didn’t even wish to be near her.

She didn’t understand why. What did I do wrong?

“You’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t know how to take care of a Mavka,” she said, shaking her head with her brows furrowing. “What will she even do here?”

“I’m sure she’ll be curious about your farm. Show her your garden, your chickens. Mother her like you mother everyone.”

“If you weren’t standing in the sun, I’d beat you with a stick,” the little she-Demon snapped, then gave a hiss through her fangs.

Jabez chuckled. “Which is why I’m standing in the sun.”

“Are you even planning to tell her yourself?”

He loosened his folded arms. “Of course. I wouldn’t just leave without saying a word, Fayren.”

As much as the revelation that he’d been planning to just abandon her here hurt, the fact that he didn’t mean to do so without an explanation brought her relief.

Zylah stood and opened the door so she could confront him.

“Jabez?” she asked in a small voice, just as he partially turned his face to her. He regarded her with a dull expression and his arms dropped to his sides. “Where are you going?”

She could have played coy and pretended she hadn’t been listening in, but she’d rather face the issue head-on.

Her stomach tightened when he focused his attention on Fayren and the lightest growl came from him. It died out quickly, and he let out a deep exhale as he turned from the fox-eared female. He stepped towards Zylah while skilfully making sure his cloak protected him from the light.

“I plan to go to Spiral Haven,” he stated, his gaze meeting hers firmly.

“Spiral Haven?” She’d never heard of this place.

He stopped a few paces from her. “The village belonging to the Demons.”

She held one of her wrists over her navel when her stomach twisted with unease. Like before, there was a noticeable strain between her and Jabez, which appeared to have grown since Zylah had entered Fayren’s home.

Unable to help it, blue swirled in her sight.

“Why don’t you want me to come?”

She didn’t know if it was her question, or even her orb colour, but Jabez averted his gaze to the side. “It’ll be easier for me to go there alone.”

“But I want to come with you.”

What if someone hurt him while he was gone? What if he didn’t come back? Zylah didn’t want to be left behind, not knowing what was happening. This could be a ruse to leave and never return, and the idea made her chest hollow.

“I’m unsure of how the occupants will feel regarding your presence near the village, Zylah. Mavka were recently banned from entering it.”

“I can wait outside of it, if need be,” she argued. “Just like with the human villages. You do not have to do this... alone.”

His features twisted before he smoothed them back to his indifferent mien. “As you once asked of me, I’m now asking for some time to think. Much has happened from before I even met you, and I need time to wade through it. Fayren made me realise this.”

Zylah waved towards the little fox Demon, who still stood in the shade. “But Fayren doesn’t want me to stay here, and I don’t wish to intrude.”

“Zylah, that isn’t what I meant,” Fayren said, her features creasing in a beseeching and regretful manner. She walked through the shade to approach, which gave her a safe path towards Zylah. “It’s not that I don’t want you here – I just don’t have the space to house you.”

“You should watch your words in the future,” Jabez cut at her, turning his head to give her a small sneer. “Not only have you infuriated me, but now you’ve upset her with your carelessness.”

He is... infuriated? He didn’t look it.

Zylah assessed Jabez’s cooled expression as he brought his gaze back to her, and she realised then just how little she knew about him. It was like he wore a second face; one that didn’t reflect the truth in his feelings. For so long, she’d thought this was just who he was, but had he been... hiding from her?

Did that mean the entire time... he’d been discontented, and she’d just been too ignorant to know it?

A small spark of anger ignited in her chest, and she turned her skull from both of them.

“If this is what you want, then okay,” Zylah stated with a dark tone, her right hand balling into a fist.

For a moment, relief softened his features, and that only made her angrier to the point her orbs threatened to flicker with crimson. She brought her gaze to Fayren.

“If you give me a moment, I will obtain my satchel from your home.”

Zylah spun around and ducked down under the doorway. She snatched her bag from the table in the middle of the tiny home she was forced to hunch inside of and threaded her body through it as she exited.

“What are you doing, Zylah?” Jabez asked, and despite the disbelief in his tone, she refused to look at him.

She was hurt, she was angry, and she didn’t know what to do with these feelings. In the past, she would have just chittered, whined, or growled, but she was beyond that now. She had too much humanity to act so animalistic and brash.

She was realising there was a curse to being intelligent. It had almost been... easier to be so clueless. Now, she had to learn how to wear her emotions without lashing out like a beast – despite how her fur had puffed with the desire to do just that.

“If I am unable to stay here, then I won’t,” she answered, shifting the satchel so it sat more comfortably between her breasts.

A growl slipped from Jabez, and his face dipped so he could glare through his eyelashes. “It’s safer if you remain here. We’re in the middle of the Veil. It’s risky if you go off alone.”

For the first time in her life, a bitter laugh slipped up her chest. “Perhaps for you ,” she snapped out, clipping her maw at him as red flickered in her sight. “But I am a Mavka. ”

“Excuse me?” Jabez growled, his eyes narrowing into a glare in her periphery.

“Zylah,” Fayren rasped, placing her tiny hand upon Zylah’s forearm, and she regarded the little female Demon coldly. “He’s right. W-we can figure out a solution so you’re more comfortable here. Maybe we can stagger how we sleep, or I’ll set up a shade so you can sleep outside. I know that’s not the nicest, but–”

She ripped her arm from Fayren’s hold.

“I am a Mavka!” Zylah roared at them both, wishing her hands didn’t shake with anxiety. “If I’m unwanted, then I have no reason to remain! If it’s too dangerous to leave the inner ring, then I will wander it until you’re ready to find me.”

Or when she was ready to find him. Or perhaps, by then, she may not want to. Right now, she was feeling all sorts of horrible emotions and she, too, wished to be alone.

Usually she’d cling to Jabez, but the last week had been... hard. From learning just a taste of his past, to having her heat, to the strain between them, to having to go off on a stupid adventure just so she could be taught a bunch of strange and wildly uncomfortable topics. Zylah had also been hiding how she was feeling, and only now that they were filling her so intensely, did she realise just how hard they were to hold in.

Right now, her claws tinged with the desire to lash out. At Fayren, at Jabez, at herself.

It didn’t help that she’d gone from being aroused and wanting him not even a few hours ago to suddenly feeling crushed. She didn’t know what she’d done wrong, but did it even matter?

“You will not go off into the fucking Veil by yourself!” Jabez shouted, stomping forward to finally approach her. “I’ll be back in just a few days.”

“I’m bigger than you, stronger than you, and faster than you!” Zylah shouted back. “Why is the Veil safe for you but not me?”

“Because I have hundreds of years of experience navigating it, fighting in it, living in it.”

Zylah gave him her shoulder. “You told me other Mavka live within the Veil. That means we are just fine doing so.”

“Yes, under wards! They are wary of the Demons, just as you should be. What you’re doing is foolish.”

Surprised that he was still shouting and truly seemed to be concerned for her wellbeing, some of her anger deflated. She didn’t want him furious with her, nor worried; she’d actually thought he’d wear his lying face until she left. She wasn’t trying to win anything and had thought this would be a suitable solution.

I’m used to being by myself.

Sure, she valued Jabez’s company so deeply it ached in her chest, but she could leave him alone for now, if that was what he desired. She understood wanting space, as she’d asked for it herself not even a few days ago. If anything, she’d likely find a tree to sit under and read until she forgot why she was upset in the first place.

Suddenly her bag, filled with only books, felt so comforting.

As much as Fayren had changed her opinion on the matter, overhearing their earlier argument meant Zylah knew the little Demon was only doing so for her sake. Fayren was right. Her home was small, and she hadn’t realised taking her bed for a few hours would be such a bad thing – despite the little Demon pushing her to do so.

Zylah lowered her voice while attempting to keep her sadness from her words. “I won’t remain somewhere I’m unwanted.” She turned to Fayren and wished she had the capabilities to smile at her like she’d often done. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home, and for being kind in teaching me so much. I appreciate it more than you know.”

With that, Zylah walked around them and towards the forest. She headed in the opposite direction they’d travelled, summarising that would take her deeper within the Veil to where it would be safer. She didn’t wish to head towards the middle ring of the Veil, and absolutely not the outer ring where they’d been chased.

“See what you’ve fucking done?!” Jabez shouted, his voice so loud it carried over the small distance. “I ask for you to keep her safe here, and now she thinks neither one of us wants her presence!”

Zylah’s shoulders hunched self-consciously, but she continued on. She really didn’t know why he was so concerned. I will be fine. She’d survived for a long while before she met him. A-a few days is not long. Not truly.

“I’m not the one who was planning on leaving her with a stranger!”

Ignoring their bickering, Zylah opened her satchel so she could reach into it. She pulled out one of the books Jabez had obtained for her that she hadn’t managed to read yet. Hopefully this does not have difficult words in it. She’d foolishly left her dictionary behind.

Maybe I can find somewhere not far from Fayren’s. She could return to visit if he took too long.

Footsteps crunching behind her stopped her from opening the book as a way to distract herself from how she’d been feeling. They approached so quickly she only managed to turn around just in time to greet who was approaching her.

With his features twisted up into a feral snarl – his lips were pulled back to reveal his sharp fangs and his nose was bunched – he grabbed her wrist. Zylah stumbled, her feet hopping, when she was yanked to the right as Jabez took her in another direction – which wasn’t Fayren’s home.

“What are you–” Zylah started.

“I won’t have you wandering the Veil on your own,” he growled harshly, cutting her off. “I brought you here, and I won’t abandon you in it.”

“Then where are you taking me?” she asked, struggling to right her footing and keep ahold of her book.

All she could see was the back of his cloak and the way the grey fur around its shoulders fluttered. “To Spiral Haven.”

“But you said–”

“I know what I fucking said!” he roared, his grip on her tightening. “However, if you won’t remain at Fayren’s, then I have no other choice but to bring you.”

Zylah twisted and yanked her arm from him, then stopped when she was freed. “I will be fine, Jabez. If this is something you need to do on your own, then so be it.”

Jabez turned just enough to give her his side profile and stabbed the pads of his fingers into his closed eyes.

“I’m unused to people not heeding my demands, Zylah,” he rumbled darkly, and the depth, the quietness, the sheer anger in it, was unnerving. “I’m very, very angry right now, and I’m feeling very manipulated by two females.”

“I’m not trying to manipulate you,” she muttered defensively and clutched her book tightly, disappointed he would think so.

“Whether it be purposeful or an accident, I’ve been given no other choice but to disregard my own wants for others.” He removed his fingers to give her a haunting glare from the corner of his eyes. “To ensure your safety, you will accompany me to Spiral Haven. If you try to force me to follow you through this forest on your whim instead, preventing me from this task, then I will see it as an act of petty defiance. If so, I will take my protection and care as unwanted and rescind it.”

With her orbs shifting to deep blue, she brought her hands to her chest anxiously. “What does that mean?”

He pulled his shoulders back and straightened to his full height. “I’ll complete this task on my own. Then I will find you and return you to your burrow.”

“But you don’t like my burrow.”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t be entering it with you. I’ll just be ensuring that you’re somewhere safer before I leave... permanently. ”

Zylah chittered when her heart stung, and the blue in her sight deepened and reflected the depth of her sadness. The bottoms of her orbs wavered, and she tried to stop them from shattering into tears.

Despite her earlier thoughts, suddenly the idea of being permanently separated from him stung her.

As he stared at her skull, and likely the changes within her, his features twitched with a strange emotion. His expression hardened into stone seconds later.

“Make your decision.”

For the first time since he’d lost his magical capabilities, Jabez was thankful for their absence.

The rage, frustration, and hostility that skittered beneath the surface was unremorseful and chaotic. Being forced into a corner like a weak prey animal was not who he was, and he wouldn’t react submissively or out of fear. He was known for biting and snarling to get his way, no matter if the opposition was kind and undeserving of his beastly nature.

At least he could do no more than use his words to threaten and, unfortunately, fight manipulation with more manipulation. That, or just walk away without care, which he wasn’t inclined to do. Had he retained his ability to teleport... things may have gone differently.

As he’d told Zylah, he’d brought her to the middle of this cesspool of Demons, and he’d safely take her from it. Which meant she had to accompany him, despite that currently being the opposite of what he desired.

Fayren is right. I care for her more than I thought. More than he wanted.

Enough to not wash his hands of her the moment she’d walked into the forest like a high-handed female trying to get her way – although he did believe that wasn’t a show just to needle him. He knew Zylah enough to understand she truly thought she was capable on her own.

She probably was, but he just couldn’t shed this nagging in the back of his mind. He’d taken this female under his protection, and like Katerina, he felt the need to see it through, regardless of the fact that it wouldn’t always be in his best interest.

But what he truly needed right now was fucking space. He needed to piece his thoughts together to figure out what the hell he was doing, and why.

Fayren saw right through me. Perhaps even better than he usually saw himself.

He’d brought Zylah to a female to teach her of her gender, of sex, and her heat, because he’d been uncomfortable. The question was: why had he been uncomfortable about it?

Like with Merikh, it should have made him chuckle to see her squirm with embarrassment. Understanding this topic was important, and the fact that he had much experience regarding it made him rather desensitised to how awkward it could be.

Watching Merikh fidget with bright reddish-pink orbs had been the highlight of Jabez’s life for many years. The big idiot Mavka – because he’d lacked much humanity at the time – could barely look at him afterwards without flaring that colour. And fuck... teaching him about a cock and where to stick it, going so far as to give him a physical demonstration with a Demon female, had been humorous to him.

It’d also finally shown Jabez what the colour of desire was.

Poor Merikh. The memory of him, both aroused by what he was seeing and obviously blushing, often made Jabez chuckle. The female had been a naughty one – the idea of having a spectator had aroused her – and Merikh had consented to being shown, so there was no reason to feel guilt regarding it.

However, when it came to teaching this topic to Zylah, it’d left a sour taste in his mouth. The conversation on the fence with Fayren had made it blatantly obvious as to why, and he’d need to dive into his past to figure out what it was that was bothering him about it.

I’m attracted to her. He’d just been ignoring it. Although physical attraction was usually enough for him to fuck a female in the past, he could have easily restrained with Zylah due to what she was and what had transpired between him and her kin.

Which meant there was more lurking beneath the surface – tender emotions he hadn’t even realised he’d begun harbouring until now.

The more she came out of her shell and became her own person, flashing him hints of her cute nature, or her interest in books, or even kindness, made it harder to deny. He’d made her a freaking dress, for pity’s sake, when she had fur that should have been enough coverage for his mind.

But she was innocent, in every sense, and being the one to teach her about life meant he’d been placed in a position of power. Had he turned that platonic knowledge into something much more devious, like sex, then he would have abused that power.

Someone else had to teach her because, in the back of his mind, he knew he was not infallible. Utilising her ignorance to touch with pleasure in mind would have made it no better than what Katerina had done to Orpheus, or vice versa.

And, with each growing day, that worry had been eating him until it exploded during the night he’d spent with Zylah in heat. He hadn’t been able to ignore it then, not when his engorged cock had been nestled between them and he’d been quaking with need. The entire evening had required intense restraint on his part, especially as she tried to grind on every part of him she could.

Jabez had almost done so in return when his cock had been throbbing so hard it hurt and had been close to bursting.

The longer it went on, the longer he tried to deny it, the higher the likelihood he’d make a mistake. At some point, all his pent-up lust and confusing feelings would get the better of him if she gave a strong enough indication that she wanted him.

At least with Fayren’s help, Zylah would fully comprehend what was happening. She would know where each touch would be leading them and could actually formulate proper consent with complete and utter understanding of what that meant.

Even if it wasn’t with him. Even if Jabez and Zylah were never intimate, as he still had no plans for such a thing, she could at least walk into that situation with another knowingly.

He’d protected her from himself, and from others. He’d shielded her from the potential harm to her mind and heart.

Figuring all this out brought on more questions. Yes, he desired this female Mavka, but was that all? No, obviously not. He’d spent two months with her, and not once had her company bothered him – he couldn’t remember feeling that way before. Everyone usually annoyed him, but he just felt... calm next to her.

Even if he held back many of his emotions, until today, it was usually because they weren’t strong enough to surface.

He liked who she was. There was no deviousness, no malice, no ulterior motives, no ploy for manipulation. She merely wanted his company because, apparently to her, it was pleasant.

My company has never been pleasant to another.

He was a temperamental person at best, and at worst, he was a complete prick. His indifference regarding other’s feelings could cut like a blade, and his anger often made Demons cower.

And in the face of his shouting, Zylah had returned it!

Only Fayren was foolish enough to do so, due to her being a rather spirited female. Then again, Fayren had never attempted to use or manipulate him, and had cared for his wellbeing all her life. She attempted to pamper, placate, and later on in her life, mother him as if she saw who he really was beneath all his different masks.

Those innocent things meant Fayren could scream and assault him with a wooden spoon all she wanted, and it meant she was safe from his ire.

Just as Zylah, apparently, was safe from it.

He cast a glance at her from the corner of his eye as they walked through the forest towards Spiral Haven. His damn chest panged at her state.

No matter that they’d been walking for a good half an hour, the bottom of her orbs still wavered despite the blue in them receding closer to a teal. She was obviously stressed about the prospect of him leaving her and dwelling on it.

Did she think he’d come to such a decision easily?

The truth was: it may have been a lie. A ruse to get that cute fluffy bunny tail of hers to follow him.

The further they walked and his anger cooled, the more uncertain he became.

In his mind, he tried to chalk it up to just wanting to wait to see if she’d accompany him to Nyl’theria. That she would help him, as no one else could, or rather, would. He wasn’t ready to let go of that possibility, as it was the best option for giving him a successful outcome in this war he’d started.

A war he still couldn’t let go of. He doubted he’d ever be able to. He’d always be thinking of ways to finally get what he wanted.

But was his attachment to her... deeper than that?

He hoped not. He hoped his heart or dick weren’t leading him when he needed his mind more than ever. He didn’t need to add confusion and complications to their current friendship . He didn’t want nor need a female companion for the rest of his days.

He also just thought he’d be a horrible mate. He was arrogant, self-centred, and rude. If he did gain a female’s affections, he had no doubt it wouldn’t take long before he squashed them by just being himself.

Why take such a risk when he foresaw such failure?

Then again, having someone else to lean on did pique his interest, as he’d never truly had that. Someone he could hold as he woke up, hopefully in a comfortable bed and in an Elven city taken over by him and his fellow Demons. Someone warm and soft, but strong enough he didn’t have to temper his strength and lust.

Can’t do that with a human. He’d probably break their hips or bruise their buttery skin. Restraining his strength for the better part of two centuries had taken a toll on his enjoyment of sex. An Elf would hold the same strength as him, but he’d rather launch himself into a fire than bed one of those foul creatures.

And Demons... well, he’d learned it was better not to fully trust them. That, or he’d just had poor judgement regarding those he’d picked in the past.

Once more, he was reminded of Fayren’s finger counting as he labelled off things he’d like in a female, knowing she was trying to show him Zylah had those qualities. Apparently he was adding to that list, even without the pesky fox Demon nearby.

Seeing that Zylah was still clutching one of the newest books he’d obtained for her – he couldn’t tell which one – he noted that she’d clawed her way through the thick cover. If she clutched it any harder in sorrow, she’d destroy it.

Fuck. Now I just feel bad.

Jabez sighed as he turned his narrowed gaze forward before his features softened. Guilt slipped down his nape at the knowledge he’d brought her to this near-teary state.

“Fayren is right,” he started, letting his eyes scan the dim forest as a distraction. “I have a horrible temper.”

How did she put it? Horribly childish tantrums? That was very true, and something he’d never denied.

Zylah chittered and turned her skull away from him.

He stifled the desire to roll his eyes and instead reached out so the back of his knuckles could brush her wrist. “I’m sorry if I upset you, but you shouldn’t take it out on one of your books.”

He winced when her claws gouged into it deeper, and she turned her shoulder to him and yanked her arm away. He palmed his damn face when her reaction didn’t upset him, but instead made his chest swell because he found it adorable. Considering he wasn’t particularly fond of the silent treatment, it should have reignited his temper, not made his chest puff with pride that he’d hurt her feelings.

Feelings she obviously harboured... for him.

“It’s not that I don’t want your presence. Quite the opposite, in fact,” he admitted while gentling his tone, hoping to assuage her hurt. “But much has happened to me, and I needed time to sort through it. Spiral Haven is towards the middle of the inner ring, so it’s not far, and it wouldn’t have taken me long to return.”

The bottom of her orbs settled, and her grip on her book softened. She thumbed the damage she’d done to its cover, while he dipped his head to watch his footing over a particularly gnarly set of tree roots.

“From the moment we entered the Veil, my desire to go to Spiral Haven has been sitting at the forefront of my mind. But I’ve been away from it for quite some time, and I imagine much has changed in my absence.”

“What is so special and important about Spiral Haven?” she asked in a rather snarky tone.

The left side of his lips quirked with humour – he was pleased that she’d finally broken her silence. The tiny smile fell, and he turned his gaze upwards to the thick, dense canopy of leaves. The trees here were much taller than those in the outer ring of the Veil, reaching triple, if not more, of his six feet and nine inches.

“Beneath the city is a mana stone I took from Nyl’theria. I’m hoping it has enough magic left that I can reignite my own.” When she turned her skull towards him a little, he shifted his focus to her so his gaze could meet her orbs. “Not having my magic has been weighing on me deeply. It’s a natural part of me, one which has been missing, and it’s the equivalent of losing a limb to an Elf. We’re born with magic, we breathe it, live it, draw nourishment from it, and it feels like breathing through sand without it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that? You never share your inner thoughts,” she said, her voice growing small as she averted her gaze from his. There was the undertone of hurt and disappointment in her words, and he couldn’t deny his constant secrecy. “I would have been more understanding if you’d told me the truth about your reason for leaving.”

Because I could have brought you with me either way. The fact he wanted time to wade through the mud of his thoughts regarding her was the only reason he’d wanted to leave her behind. In part, he’d been hoping that time would help reduce his desire, and he’d been planning on killing whatever affection he had growing for her.

That seemed wiser. It seemed... better, especially for her.

If he didn’t do something stupid, then the likelihood of hurting her with his own flaws would be minimal.

“Fayren has a way of getting under my skin,” he admitted, before realising she likely didn’t understand that saying. “What I mean to say is that she has a way of breaking through my thoughts when I don’t wish her to. Had she kept her opinions to herself, I wouldn’t have been so irritated. She did it knowingly, while forgetting her actions and words can have consequences that don’t always involve her. She likes to meddle.”

By the cursed light, he’d barely slept a wink due to Fayren’s pestering. He’d been so restless that he’d almost fallen out of his fucking tree. He’d been frustrated with his thoughts, his chest feeling hollow, while his cock had been so hard he’d considered relieving it just to tamp down his arousal.

He didn’t, simply because he didn’t wish to be caught stroking his cock by Fayren. He also hadn’t wanted her to later discover his sexual scent from wherever he decided to let his release fall, especially as she was cheeky and would have picked on him for it until the day she died.

He could handle pain, but he didn’t particularly like the way mortification felt.

“But what does that have to do with me?” Zylah asked, as the bottoms of her orbs wavered for just a moment.

Rather than delving into thoughts that were best left unsaid, he chose to direct the conversation elsewhere. “Was Fayren helpful to you?”

Her skull lowered – she obviously knew he’d deflected her question. “Yes. I appreciated her help.”

“Do you now understand why I couldn’t explain it all to you?”

Her orbs morphed into a reddish pink, and she lifted a hand to cover the side of her skull to hide them. “Yes.”

Jabez couldn’t help but release a small chuckle at the bashful way she’d hidden from him. “I hope she didn’t tease you too much.”

With how Zylah’s orbs brightened in her embarrassed hue, he knew Fayren had done exactly that. She gripped her biceps of her right arm.

“She made me realise many things, and I’m grateful for that. She made me understand what I want, how I’m feeling. I feel as though I know myself much better now.”

“That’s good,” he muttered, as his lips thinned. He didn’t particularly want Zylah understanding her feelings better if they pertained to him.

Her orbs even flickered with purple, and the glow of it was bright in comparison to the darkness around them. The lightest scent of arousal came from her, and he had to ignore the way his groin tingled in awareness of it.

“We spoke of you,” she stated quietly.

Shit. This conversation wasn’t going how he wanted.

“If things are successful in Spiral Haven, there is a good chance I can allow us to both walk through the village,” he said, deflecting from whatever potential topic she was trying to broach. “I’ll be able to glamour us both and hide our scents. Perhaps you’ll find a Demon who might pique your interests. Many are Elf-eating who have passed over to this realm, and they are all rather tall and strong. Some even have wings and tails, so perhaps something will draw your eye.”

There. Hopefully he made her realise there were males other than him.

Her head reared back. “Another... Demon?”

Yes. Other than me. Because he wasn’t a suitable choice in the grand scheme of things. If she shows interest in someone else, my attraction to her will diminish. Not because he was a jealous person, as many Demons were non-monogamous, but due to her attention being elsewhere.

He wouldn’t feel the pressure of her constant focus.

Adding more strength to their duo could actually be a gain. Although, if she chooses a mate, that may complicate things. She’d be less inclined to leave them behind. Unless Phantoms of any nature are able to pass through Weldir’s ward?

That presented an unknown. Could a Demon become a Mavka’s mate, and therefore turn into a Phantom at all?

What I could do with the power to turn intangible... He wouldn’t need her, or anyone. His ability to teleport was excellent, but it came with weaknesses. It depleted his magic significantly, and he could be trapped by something as silly as his hair.

He hated how such a simple thing could be used against him. But it was a powered link, like a tether to their essences, and the white in it was a side-effect of the toxicity of magic running rampant throughout their bodies and stealing their natural hair colours. Even the grey in their skin was a byproduct of magic use, as it hardened their veins with a coating that allowed mana flow.

Currently, that coating felt like he had stone just beneath his skin – despite its usual softness.

Due to his deep musings, he hadn’t realised Zylah had stopped walking beside him. He turned to find her still clutching her arm, although now her feet appeared stuck and her snout turned towards the ground.

Once more, blue had lifted into her orbs.

“Zylah,” he stated with a sigh, hoping to coax her back into walking.

“I don’t understand. Why would you say this? Other than Fayren... you have not spoken fondly of other Demons.”

“I speak lowly of lesser Demons,” he told her. “Those within the inner ring are different. They’ve either completed their evolution like Fayren or aren’t far from doing so. They’re no different to me.”

“But you are special to me.”

Jabez raised his eyes to the sky, calling to no one, as there were no deities who would ever listen to his pleas.

“Let’s not speak of this anymore,” he said, bringing his gaze back down to her. He turned, giving her his back – something he’d never been truly comfortable doing with anyone until her. “I just wanted to apologise for my earlier behaviour, and how it may have upset you. There’s still a lot of distance between us and Spiral Haven.”

The fact that he’d even apologised was a foreign concept to him. What’s happening to me? Saying sorry? What. The. Fuck?

Annoyed with everything right then, Jabez resumed the journey in frustration. Zylah thankfully followed.