A Soul to Embrace (Duskwalker Brides #8)

Chapter 35

A cold sorrow radiated behind Zylah’s sternum as they were led through the bleached-white wooden hallways of the Elven tree. Every time she peeked beside her at Jabez, it ached and deepened.

Something happened, she thought, her orbs growing darker in their blue hue.

The way he’d shouted and thrown himself forward, only to crumble to his knees, immediately set her heart into a panic. There was little she’d been able to do as she fought against her bindings to go to him. His voice had croaked, his body trembling as he’d spoken, and each word seemed to ring with unbearable torment.

He was always so confident and had a big personality.

To see him in such a state had been undeniably saddening. She’d thought it was just pure rage that they weren’t giving him what he wanted, but it hadn’t taken long for her to realise the truth.

Despite her inability to understand his words, it was clear he’d been speaking from a place of pain.

I wish I knew what was said. She hadn’t liked not comprehending anything, but she’d trusted Jabez and remained quiet. However, what he’d shouted was obviously important to him, and the current listless stare of his faraway gaze was haunting.

He looked exhausted – more so than usual.

His eyes slipped to her skull, and Zylah faced forward to evade them. A chill crept down her spine despite the warmth she felt in the air.

They were taken to a wooden white door that had a long, wide yellow sash nailed to it. She couldn’t read the symbols or words on it, but nervousness struck her at seeing it. Where are they taking us?

She’d been expecting Jabez to explain it to her, but he’d been wordless from the moment they were taken away from the conference chamber.

One of the guards opened the door for them since they were still bound, and a spacious room was revealed on the other side. Her fur lifted when she felt some kind of magic brushing over her flesh as she passed through the threshold.

The guard closest to Zylah touched her wrists, making her flinch, before the bindings around her arms loosened and fell away. Zylah stumbled forward to get away from them, and the aches in her biceps from being tied behind her back subsided. She rubbed at her forearms as she turned to watch them release Jabez as well.

When his arms were freed, however, he turned and offered them his wrists. They placed thick golden bands around them that shimmered with pink when they closed, obviously imbued with some kind of enchantment.

When Zylah offered her own wrists, Jabez placed his hand on her arm and shook his head. “No. Only me.”

“Why?” she asked, watching as the guards stepped out of the room and closed the door behind them. There was the distinct shluck of some kind of lock being engaged, and the walls of the room glittered with blue before fading.

“It stops me from being able to use my magic,” he answered quietly, his voice lacking in emotion. “It was the only way they’d agree to bringing us here.”

Once more, she asked, “Why?”

Now that they were facing each other, she noticed dried tracks of salty-smelling liquid down his dust-smudged face. There were so many that on one side it just looked like a thick, blobby streak. His features appeared ashen and lacklustre, and she’d never seen them this way before.

His eyes flicked to her skull before darting away.

“Because every spell that lacks a mana stone has a code, and they can be broken. It’s to ensure that I don’t bring down the barrier keeping us locked in here.”

Is that what that blue glittering was? she thought, looking at the wall around the door frame.

She tilted her head, considering his explanation. “But can’t I do that?”

“No. It takes a very skilled magic user and years of practice.” He rubbed at the bands covering his wrists. “They’re wary because I was able to break down the one in my prison cell which, considering it was powered by a mana stone, was deemed impossible until me.” Then his expression pinched as he muttered, “Give a child five years with the same puzzle, and he’ll figure out a solution.”

Zylah cupped her hands in front of her chest as her limbs knocked inwards. “What is going on?” she asked nervously, since the way he was acting only deepened her anxieties.

He stepped around her and waved an arm to indicate the room. “We’ll be staying here until the council decides whether or not we’re permitted to stay.”

Zylah finally took it in.

The room was semi-circular, with a bed resting up against the only straight wall. All the walls were made up of twisting white branches, bronze ore, and glass. More of the tree lay beneath their feet, as well as some kind of thin yellow carpet that sat underneath the bed and led down to a seating area with two lounges and a stout oval table made of bronze.

The ceiling had a strange glowing light in the middle, but it was dim. She wondered if there was a way to brighten it before she brought her gaze to the forking branches of tree and glass to her right.

There appeared to be a room further in, since there was an arched door on the opposite side of the room.

Where they were wasn’t big, but it was definitely larger than their shared cave.

“Will we be living here permanently if we are allowed to stay?” she asked, somewhat liking its design.

Unlike Fayren’s home, the seats looked big enough for her to sit in. The bed was huge in comparison to hers as well. Zylah thought she and Jabez could both lie on it with ease, rather than her being forced to curl up into a ball just to rest.

“No. This room is only temporary, but Zylah...” At the way his tone became strained, she turned to find his expression had twisted up. “The chances of them approving us are exceptionally low.”

Any hope or excitement regarding the room rushed out of her in an instant. She cupped her hands once more to fidget with them, and her orbs retreated back to the blue hue from earlier.

“Then why are we still here?” she asked, unsure as to why he wouldn’t make them leave if he felt that way.

His eyes flicked to her before narrowing at the room. “Because it gives me time to assess our other options while we are somewhere safe.” His right hand curled into a fist, and he lifted his face towards the wall of glass. “It also allows us to rest, and I believe the door over there leads to some kind of personal bathing facility.”

Zylah came closer and tipped her head to the side so she could meet his avoidant gaze. “Can you tell me what happened? I want to know why you suddenly...”

When his expression scrunched, her words fell short.

“My past is an issue,” he admitted, greeting her orbs head-on. Then he lifted his hands and cupped the sides of her bony cheeks. “Unlike you, they’re unwilling to forgive it. I’m sorry, Zylah, but my inability to shed my hatred of these people is what got in the way, and now I have tied myself to you, so even if they would have accepted you, we’re unable to be separated.”

Zylah placed her hands over his to hold them. “I don’t mind where we are, so long as we are together.”

As if that was the wrong thing to say, he stepped back while taking away his touch. He grasped the end of his hair to inspect the red, bloodied clump of it before he wiped at his face to remove some of the dust and his own dried blood.

“I need to wash. I can only imagine what I look like,” he stated, heading to the door on the other side of the room. “Sit. I won’t be long... unless I can’t figure out how to power it or can’t because of the bracers.”

Then he left Zylah on her own.

Since there was little else in the space, Zylah walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. Not expecting such softness, she squeaked when her backside nestled right in, and she bounced on it in mild curiosity. Just as she was getting comfortable and lifted her gaze to the wall of glass, she heard the faintest sound of rain coming from the room Jabez had disappeared into.

As much as she wanted to know what it was and inspect it, she thought it best to leave him alone. She fidgeted with her hands as she thought, He’s... different.

She didn’t know what to make of his behaviour; he’d shied away from her repeatedly and refused to meet her gaze with confidence, like he usually would. She also had this niggling feeling that if she were to ask him about why he’d crumbled to the ground, he would avoid telling her the full truth of it.

He’s always been complicated.

Despite her worry and unease, her heart skipped a little when she remembered receiving the gift of his soul. She could feel it floating between her antlers due to the mild heat there, and the desire to reach up and touch it nagged at her. When the urge became too strong, she hesitantly lifted her hand to where it rested, unsure if this was allowed.

Warmth greeted her, and she brushed her thumb over the little flame when nothing inside her told her what she was doing was wrong. She even gained the courage to clasp her hand around it and pull until she was able to take it.

White snuffed out the colour of her sight, and she reared her head back when she noted that it’d changed. She knew when he’d given it to her it’d swirled with blue-and-green flames, but the head of Jabez’s soul had turned black and appeared like cracked stone.

It still rested in the same cross-legged position, but she thought its shoulders slumped more than before, as if it was tired. Red slits blinked constantly, but they were slow and languid even when they appeared to look up at her skull.

Zylah went to brush the back of her forefinger claw underneath its jaw, but the sound of rain cut off. She quickly placed her hand between her antlers and was thankful when his soul stayed there.

She didn’t know why she felt nervous about him seeing her play with it, but she had to hide her chitter and stop her shoulders from turning inwards self-consciously when he emerged.

His hair isn’t wet . Nor was his body. Maybe they have a drying spell, like the one he can do? It looked as though he’d washed his pants as well.

“There’s no bath, but they have a shower. I’ll show you what that is if need be,” he stated, looking at her before glancing over his shoulder. “I know they cleaned you at the hospital, but did you want to wash?”

“No,” Zylah answered while shaking her head. “I’m okay.”

As curious as she was, she didn’t want to be alone any longer when she was in an unfamiliar environment and so concerned about his wellbeing. He did look a little brighter after washing, but she thought that may just be because he was clean and no longer caked in grime.

Accepting her answer, he came and sat beside her on the bed. His weight made her bounce momentarily before everything settled, but he didn’t seem to notice as he clasped his hands between his open knees. It took him a while to settle his gaze somewhere. When he did, he looked out the glass in front of them.

She did as well.

They were unable to see Otholla, so she guessed it was behind them. She couldn’t see the forest either. Instead, a vast amount of dark, inky water reflected the sparkly stars.

“Is that an ocean?” Zylah asked, having never seen one before.

“Ocean, or a very large lake, depending on your opinion, since it’s completely surrounded by land. It’s also fresh water, and not salty.”

Silence fell over them, and Zylah picked at the silky bedding as she reached for something else they could speak of. There were so many questions she didn’t know where to start, and she didn’t know what was safe to talk about right now. She could tell something was wrong with him, as he seemed to have lost his usual spark, but she didn’t know how to broach the subject so she could help.

She felt a little... lost, and out of depth with the situation.

They were also sitting on a big comfy bed together. Since she’d slept recently, she wasn’t all that tired yet, but she did know of other things they could do on it. They were also alone, and despite everything and the uncertainty of their future, she wanted to appreciate him for giving her his soul.

She wanted to cuddle, she wanted to touch, she just wanted to feel... close to him. Would now be an inappropriate time for that?

What do I call him? she wondered, scratching at the side of her snout. Do I call him my bride or a mate like his kind? Bride sounded funny; any time she’d read about a wedding in her books, it was usually a female’s title. Groom? Husband? I’m so confused.

Zylah peeked at him from the edge of her sight, but it was impossible to gauge his emotions with his expression so empty. It didn’t help that his hair wasn’t neatly brushed back to sit between his horns like usual and was shielding his face from all sides in a throw of messy strands.

“Jabez?” Zylah called, reaching out to brush his long fringe back and tuck it behind his pointed ear – that didn’t even flick when she accidentally caressed it.

Without taking his gaze from the world outside, he answered, “Yes, Zylah?”

“What is wrong?”

His face dipped down to his clasped hands, and she noticed the way they clenched together tightly. For a little while, he said nothing, and she worried he wouldn’t answer.

His voice was quiet, soft, and lacking in emotion as he said, “I don’t know how to answer that question right now.” Then he lifted his gaze forward once more. “I’m just... thinking.”

“Aren’t you tired? You haven’t slept since we came here.”

“I can sleep later – when I’ve figured out a solution that I find fitting.”

Her heart sunk a little at that, and her sight shifted to blue as she lowered her head. It sprung back up when an idea sparked in her mind. “Can I hold you then?”

He lifted his arm to create space for her. “Of course. You don’t need to ask.”

Zylah considered tucking herself into the nook he created, but chose to slip to the ground and place herself between his knees. He looked down at her just as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested the underside of her snout against one of his thighs. His arms softly came down around her shoulders, his fingers diving into the fur across her back, and she wanted to purr at how quickly he accepted her embrace.

Their cuddle was loose, but Zylah’s orbs turned dark as she took in the feel of him and the fact that he was holding her in return. He even began scratching her soothingly, and she wiggled forward just to get that little bit closer.

He smells so nice, she thought with a contented hum, resisting the urge to nuzzle her snout against his side. Since his scent was now clean, she soaked in the aromas of earth, of flowers and wood, and her mind eased.

Zylah really didn’t care where they were, whether they were in this city, back on Earth, or fighting against Demons in Nyl’theria. She just wanted to be near him. So long as he let her hold him like this, she knew she’d be content anywhere.

Next time they faced a situation like the nasty village of Demons, she’d be more prepared. She wouldn’t leave his side, and she wouldn’t hesitate again to defend herself. She’d listen to her instincts when they were nagging at her that something was amiss.

She’d do better to ensure she didn’t worry him again. Admittedly, she was a little concerned that she hadn’t been able to regenerate, but she was sure they would find a solution. The Elvish people had healed her, so maybe they could learn together how to aid each other in the future. She didn’t mind being hurt, so long as they both survived in the end.

She wondered if those thoughts were currently what weighed on his mind. She knew voicing that she wasn’t concerned about possible future injuries would do little good and would likely result in a disagreement.

Her arms tightened around him as she sheepishly thought, But he can’t leave me again. He was hers, and Zylah wouldn’t give up this bond even if there was a way.

His soul was hers to embrace, as were his heart, his mind, his body, and his past. She’d do so openly until the end of time.

Just as her tail began to sway in adoration, the tuft puffed out when the strangest chill touched her bony forehead just below where his soul was and slipped down her spine. She looked up, finding that Jabez hadn’t moved from gazing outside and that he appeared the same as before.

Yet the warmth of his soul had dimmed heavily.

Her ears rang at the loud, distinct, and noticeable crack she heard. It sounded like glass and rock breaking in half at the same time. She ignored it at first, until she heard another, and another, and the warmth of his soul disappeared completely.

At the same time, a strange cold ache struck her.

Panic swelled in her muscles, and she shot her hand up to his soul to take it from her antlers and check on it.

A high-pitched, sharp whine escaped her when she saw that his entire soul had completely lost its colourful flames and had crumbled like fragile rock. Rather than sitting upright, it’d fallen to the side, and no longer hovered above her palm but rather lay on it. It was cold, no heat to be found, and pieces of it seemed to be missing.

At the whine that left her, Jabez groaned and dug his nails into her back lightly. “Please don’t make that sound right now,” he grated out, his voice hoarse and laden with emotion. “I can’t take it.”

As much as Zylah tried to be quiet, her distress only grew when more pieces of his soul broke off and withered into nothingness. It started at its hands, feet, and face, before more and more slowly chipped away until there was nothing but a torso.

Zylah leaned back when her heart clenched so hard it felt like it was about to burst. Why is it disappearing?! She fretted, her hands shaking as she watched it with no idea how to stop it. Then its torso caved in and cracked open, revealing a tiny flame of blue and green that floated out of its chest.

It hovered there, nothing else remaining but the tiniest sputtering flame.

It floated away, trying to go back to between her antlers, but she grabbed it and stopped it. She stared at it once more.

“Jabez?” she asked, lifting her skull to his face.

His body flickered and vibrated between solid and transparent, as if it wanted to turn ghostly, but the golden bands around his wrists shimmered bright pink. She wondered if they were stopping whatever was happening to his physical body.

Seeing that his soul was no longer changing, but was at least still alive in some form, she returned it, then rose up on her knees and grabbed his cheeks in both her palms. She forced him to look away from outside, but his eyes refused to leave it until she turned his head so far to the left that he had no other option.

His gaze landed on her, and she found it just looked... hollow.

I don’t know how to help.

She didn’t even know what she was fighting against.