A Surrender Of Hope (Umbra Hunters #3)

1. Lennox

ONE

Lennox

I ndescribable pain courses through my body as I spin, arcing the blade of my ax and bringing it down on the Beastia stupid enough to get within my reach. My breath whooshes from my lungs as the silver blade of my weapon slices through the flesh of the monster’s thick, corded neck. My body trembles, my magic rebelling and confusing the absolute fuck out of me as my knees threaten to give way from the pain slicing through my chest.

There is no wound; no Beastia or rogue Hunter has gotten close enough to deal a physical injury before I’ve cut them down. Yet my whole body trembles like a fatal blow has been struck.

“What the hell?” I rasp, tightening my grip on the handle of my ax as my vision swims.

“Lennox?”

Valen’s voice washes over me, the sound distorted as I stumble back, grunting as another wave of pain races through me. But this time, the sense of loss makes my heart stall, the cold bite of despair is a feeling I haven’t felt since my brother's death.

The pain slowly settles from full-body agony to a sharp stabbing feeling at the center of me. I gasp, placing my ax on the ground, my vision still dark as I harness my magic and tug on it, wondering what the hell just happened. Had someone cast a spell on me?

“Nox!” Valen’s voice shouts at my side, my blurry vision working enough to see him step in my line of vision and disembowel the rogue Umbra Hunter charging me. “I can’t find Meyer! I think something’s wrong, but our connection isn’t completed yet, so I can’t tell what it is!” his panicked voice says as he turns to face me. Hands fall on my shoulders and shake me until I sluggishly move my eyes to his. I look down on my older brother, noting how his white-blond hair is stained red, his porcelain skin is tarnished with mud and dirt, and his pale green eyes are wide with fear.

Reality crashes against me like a tidal wave, bringing back the sounds of battle and death I hadn't realized were missing. The ringing in my ears slowly ebbs away as Valen’s words register in my mind. My magic wilts as I hold on to it, and I shake my head, realizing what had been causing my pain. What I had hidden from my brothers… and obsessed over every night… who I started to treasure more than anything else in this god-forsaken realm.

“No!” I rasp as I attempt to inflate my lungs again, spinning out of Valen’s grip as my eyes desperately scan the dark, blood-soaked battlefield in front of me. Creed has her. She’s fine. He would never leave her alone, I tell myself as dread pools in my stomach. My heart drops when I find Creed slicing through a thick group of Hunters with the Ranger Jennings at his side. My brows furrow, and true panic starts to settle in as I spin in a circle, looking for the Regalis bloodline. If Creed’s not with her, then Razar has returned.

“Where is she?!” Valen shouts again, his voice cracking as he looks every which way, sensing what I already know but refuse to believe. My head whips to the side then stalls, my gaze snapping back to a familiar face as I squint to stare across the field. Razar stands at the top of the hill to the south of the Castle, staring down at Meyer, who he’s holding in his arms. Her long blonde hair, pulled up in a tight ponytail on top of her head, whips out behind her as a gust of frigid winter air courses around them, and my shoulders relax at the sight.

I take a step forward, needing to get to her as fast as possible, just as her body collapses in Razar’s hold, head lolling to one side. I can’t tear my eyes away from my worst nightmare as Razar stares down at Meyer in horror, his eyes shifting to his shaking blood-soaked hand as he holds it up in front of him. Only then do I notice the black fletching of the long, Demon-carved arrow protruding from Meyer’s back. My stomach revolts at the sight, my magic racing from me in a deadly wave, sending everyone but Valen to their knees before me.

My breath hitches as Razar claws at the dragon-scaled armor Creed made her, tearing it from her body as he shakes his head in denial at the sight in front of him. Time stops, and a sound I’ve never heard before echoes around us as I sprint toward them… toward her . Hunters and Beastia alike jump out of the way, and I realize the sound is coming from me, the roar so loud that my throat hurts. I hear Valen shout something behind me as I run, but I ignore him— ignore everything as I press myself to move faster.

Razar’s lips move, making out the word Pup as his dark eyes slide slowly back to the girl in his arms. In the next moment, he drops to the ground, keeping Meyer cradled carefully in his arms just as an arrow flies over his head, and I bare my teeth, furious that I’m not there to protect them yet. Razar’s eyes snap up, but I don't watch anything but the slow rise and fall of Meyer's chest as her brilliant emerald green eyes darken.

“No… no… no!” I shout desperately, trying to get to her, my magic crying out to heal her mortal body. I feel my heart and soul shatter into a million pieces when her eyes flutter, lips parting, blood dripping from them, shining like rubies. I watch in horror as the moment I know will impact the rest of my life forever plays out in front of my eyes. Razar twists, moving himself and Meyer to the side just as he snatches another arrow straight out of the air—the black onyx tip only centimeters from Meyer’s still form.

He snarls, looking back up before he snaps the black wood of the arrow in half, letting it fall to the snow beneath him as his hand moves to cup Meyer’s cheek. “Don’t!” he yells at her as I close in on them, so close I can see the bloom of dark red soaking through Meyer’s shirt. Razar’s breaths come in rapid succession as her body goes limp in his arms. “Meyer!” he screams, but she doesn't answer. Her eyes flutter shut as she pulls in a ragged breath, her chest no longer rising with breath, just as I crash to my knees at Razar’s side.

My hands dart out, black magic sparking at my fingertips as I place a palm on my Little Demon’s ice-cold skin and try to shift her from Razar's arms. His hold tightens, wide eyes locked on her pale face, refusing to let me take her from him. He shakes his head, fingers digging into Meyer’s flesh as he growls under his breath and shakes her a little, trying to get her to respond.

“Give her to me!” I roar, frustration and fear twining together, leaving me desperate as the agony of not feeling the small mating bond she started spark in my chest— the pain… the ache, the desperation —causes my magic to rebel before bursting from me in an angry wave. It had been Meyer's half-formed mate bond dying in my chest. The animalistic Demon I carry inside me, the other half of my magic I possess due to my royal lineage, roars in outrage, clawing to the surface, desperate to be set free.

Need her… save her!

I shove my magic into Meyer’s body, eyes moving from her still chest to her bloody, and pale parted lips. My breath catches as pain rolls through me. My magic is searching for the slightest flicker of life. Something to grab onto and save… something… ANYTHING!

“No!” I bellow when I don’t find anything. There’s nothing there!

“Mi Sol!” Valen shouts, falling to the snow at my side. I finally tear Meyer from Razar’s arms, making my brother fall back, his eyes never moving from my Little Demon, as shock and something darker grow in the air around him. His magic is stirring to life as his breath stills.

“Nox? She’s okay… You can help her, right!?” Valen cries out, his hands moving to Meyer’s bloody chest, pressing there like he will somehow save her with his will alone. His pale hand moves from her chest to her neck, fingers trembling as they cup her soft, delicate flesh, smearing bright red blood against her snow-white skin.

Heat fills my eyes as I stare down at the girl who unknowingly stole my heart, trapped it in her clutches, and made me fucking feel again.

I didn’t want this!

I didn’t want her!

I fucking fought the magnetic pull I felt toward her from the moment I barged into that decrepit little cabin she called home. I closed myself off to her as much as I could, and I treated her like garbage to keep her away. But no matter what I did or what walls I built between us, Meyer smashed through them. She implanted herself in my every thought, in my every dream… she fucking owns everything I am.

“Th-there’s not a pulse,” Valen rasps, his fingers moving from one side of her neck to the other, touching her, searching for her… always her neck. Was this what he was doing when his finger lingered there? Was he reassuring himself of her safety? That she was alive and with him? There hasn't been a day I haven’t noticed Valen’s hands moving to the delicate column of Meyer’s throat.

I snarl at his words, refusing to believe what I see. She’s not dead! Meyer is not allowed to leave. I didn’t give her permission for that.

Setting my hand over her chest, I press down, pumping even more magic into her, trying to ignore the broken sob that falls from Valen’s lips as his other hand moves to cup Meyer’s face. The way his body collapses in on itself, his forehead pressing to hers as he begs her to open her eyes.

“Wake up!” I demand, yelling at her as my body begins to tremble. “Now!”

“Meyer!?”

“Holy shit!”

Voices filter into my consciousness as I shove more magic into her, giving her everything I have, doing what I should have done weeks ago, and forming my own claim on the tiny Demon in my arms. I ignore the voices as they shout and scream when Razar won’t let them close—calling out for their friend, demanding to know what happened and why she’s not responding to their desperate calls. I hear one of them fall to the snow, screaming her name, and have to work to block them out. I need to concentrate, and their pain is so tangible, I can feel it from twenty feet away.

“Lemon Drop?”

The whispered words break me as Creed appears at my other side, slowly sinking to his knees, curly brown hair plastered to his head from all the snow. Valen hasn’t moved away from Meyer. His hands still cradle her head as his shoulders shake silently, body curling protectively over hers. Creed falls forward, catching himself on his hands as he stares at Meyer and Valen, tears streaming down his face as he shakes his head. “No,” he whispers, flicking his watery eyes to me, and like a coward, I avoid them, unable to face the crushing pain I feel coming from him.

I force more magic into her, making me lightheaded as I try desperately to command her soul, to attach her life to mine, to bind her to me forever. “Open your goddamn eyes,” I snarl at her as my body shakes, hands pressing so hard to her chest I’m worried I might be causing more damage.

“What's wrong? What happened?”

I snarl in anger as Jesthren runs up the small hill, massive spear in hand as he jogs to Valen’s side, his worried eyes scanning our brother. “Are you injured? What—” he cuts off, hand on Valen’s shoulder when he sees Meyer lying under my hands, Valen refusing to back away from her, and Creed’s hand clutching desperately at her small limp one. Jesthren’s eyes bounce between the three of us before looking up at Razar standing guard over us all, his eyes never leaving Meyer’s cold body. “Lennox?” Jesthren says cautiously, crouching and placing his other hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off with a growl, not wanting him here, hating how close he is to my Little Demon when she’s…

“ Don’t touch me! ” I snarl, my teeth bared when I get no response from Meyer, no signs of life.

Empty. Cold. Dead.

I’m vaguely aware of the deep growl echoing from my chest. My Beast is inching closer to the surface, demanding I relinquish control to him.

“Let me help,” Jesthren pleads, his hand moving away from me, doing as I command as he stares down at Meyer, a flicker of sadness crossing his polished features. I shake my head, refusing to give up on Meyer. There is something there; I know there is! I know she's not gone. She’s too goddamn stubborn to leave us like this.

“No!” I snarl when my oldest brother's hand moves toward Meyer’s.

“Nox! Let me help. I can't heal her, but I have the magic to help sustain hers while you do! Her soul is still there. She still has a chance, but it’s too much for you alone!” Jesthren growls back, but I’m already shaking my head.

He can’t touch her! I don't trust him. Jesthren is not safe.

“Lennox, please!” Creed croaks out, his hand tightening on Meyer’s, looking at me with devastation clear on his face. Meyer’s death will break him. I almost lost him to the guilt of Archer’s death. The nightmares that haunted him, the darkness that clung to his normally bright soul had almost taken forever for him to recover from. I can’t pull him back from the edge again if we lose Meyer.

My eyes move to Valen, watching as he breaks down, not paying us any attention as he whispers soft words into Meyer’s unhearing ears. Razar moves closer, and I look at him, noting how he’s still looking at the girl in my arms, still watching… always watching her. I don’t think he’s blinked once since I took Meyer from his arms. Her blood coats his bare chest, and my eyes widen when I see his hands shaking at his side.

He’s losing control.

“Please,” Jesthren begs, his dark eyes moving from me to Valen, his worry for our brother palpable as he slowly reaches for Meyer again. I snarl in frustration, shoving my magic into every fucking molecule of my Little Demon, and feel a slight burst of warmth, the tiniest flicker of a heartbeat, and my eyes widen, hope filling me as I growl, looking at my oldest brother. My nemesis… my enemy. A man I wanted to trust for so long, but knew it would never happen. He’s caused me so much pain already, and the thought of trusting him with the most valuable soul I have in my life physically pains me. I never thought I would care about something over my hatred for him, but here she is. The person I apparently will do the impossible for.

“Don’t make me regret this,” I grind out, nodding my agreement, my desperation to save Meyer outweighing everything else.

“I won’t,” Jesthren rasps, slapping his hand on Meyer as he shoves Valen off her, earning himself a terrifying growl from our brother’s Shade form. I yank Meyer close and turn so Jesthren has better access to her cold skin. “Do whatever you have to to get her back,” Jesthren commands, and I nod.

At least in this, we can agree.

At my nod, Jesthren’s glowing, flickering crimson magic seeps into Meyer, flaring brightly alongside mine, and I close my eyes, reaching into the very center of this girl, searching for her. I don’t care what she wants or if she’s mad when she wakes up. Because I already know she will be. She fights me at every turn, refuses my commands, and demands my attention. And that’s fine. Meyer can hate me… so long as she’s alive to do it. I’ll go straight into the fiery pits of Hell and force this woman to come back with me at this point. I don’t care what laws I break or who I have to kill to do it.

Meyer is mine, and I refuse to let her go.