A Surrender Of Hope (Umbra Hunters #3)

4. Meyer

FOUR

Meyer

I feel warm hands on me as I slowly wake up, and for a moment, I panic, recalling the heavy hands on my shoulders from the man with claws. But these hands don’t come with pain, so I relax slightly, drifting in and out of sleep as my mind wants to wake, but my body needs more rest. Eventually, I open my eyes, wincing at the bright light streaming into the room. I frown, squinting as I look around, trying to figure out where I am as I hear a distant voice. The voice goes in and out like a bad radio signal, adding to my confusion.

Am I dreaming again? I don’t think I’ve ever been in this room before, but from the log walls and familiar scent of pine and winter air, I’m going to assume I’m somehow back in the Ranger barracks. I blink a few times, trying to clear the fog of sleep from my mind as someone shifts on the bed next to me. Not wanting to disturb whoever it is, I carefully look to my side and smile when I see bright white-blond hair tousled every which way on the pillow next to mine—the sight taking the last remaining edge of fear from me.

A frown mars Valen’s handsome face as he sleeps, and he has dark circles under his eyes. His brow is furrowed like he’s in the middle of a bad dream, and I lift a hand, frowning when I see how it trembles between us. My muscles feel weak as I reach out and gently smooth his brow, wondering if there is a way to help him without waking him up. His hand, which is resting on my shoulder, the only part of him that’s touching me, shifts, and I recall how he said he has bad dreams that will often cause panic attacks.

Moving my fingers from his brow, I take the hand on my shoulder and gently shift it toward my throat, smiling softly when his fingers press against my pulse point. Valen breathes a sigh of relief, the frown softening as he rolls more toward me, his other hand coming to rest on my waist as he snuggles into my side.

Warm, strong fingers squeeze my other hand tightly, and I look to my left, seeing something I never thought I would. Lennox is sitting in a small chair, bent over the bed, resting his head on my thigh with his other hand on my hip. He’s sound asleep, and the normal grumpy expression he wears is gone, replaced with something softer, making him appear younger somehow. His black braids are a mess on top of his head, and I’m pretty sure they’re encrusted with blood. He’s wearing his black fighting leathers, and it looks like he also has dark shadows lingering under his closed eyes.

Something tugs in my chest at the sight of him, reminding me of the black magic that saved me. I tilt my head to the side, watching Nox and gently squeezing his hand back. The normal frustration I feel when I’m around him is gone, and all I want to do is yank him onto the bed with me so we can all cuddle. I shake my head and smother that idea as soon as it forms, wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I must be exhausted and delusional. Sure, Nox and I have sexual tension… and yeah, I may want to climb the man like a tree and do unspeakable things to him at times. But we do not cuddle. I frown down at his thick arms and broad shoulders… he would probably be an epic cuddler though.

Snapping my eyes closed, I groan and lean back into the pillows. I need him to wake up and glare at me, so I want to kick him in the balls again. That will make all of this weirdness go away. Life is so much simpler when I have murderous thoughts about Lennox Regalis. I open my eyes once more and look at Nox and then Valen. What the hell happened that made us all end up here?

I wrack my brain, trying to remember what happened before my crazy dreams as I look for Creed. Sure, I might still be pissed at him, but he would definitely be the better cuddle companion since Valen is asleep. Panic swirls in my chest when I don’t immediately find him, but it settles when I feel a soft tug on my hair and look up, finding Creed sitting against the headboard to my left, head slumped to the side in sleep. There is a lock of my long blonde hair clutched in his hand like he was playing with it before he fell asleep, and I smile, tugging it free as memories of what happened before slowly start filtering back to me.

The fight, the Rogue Hunters… Beastia everywhere, and the fighting outside the wall. I frown and shift my body slightly, trying to get more comfortable while not waking the guys as another memory steals my breath. The Demon on the wall with the arrow pointed at—I gasp and try to sit up as my heart skips a beat.

Razar! Where the hell is he?

I remember the pain in my back, the way my body slammed into his. His arms catching me, angry eyes staring down at me as he yelled my name… then concern? No, that can't be right. I must have hit my head or something. I look around the room, then do it again when I can’t find Razar.

Shit, shit, shit! Did the Demon get him? Was he hurt?

I strain to sit up, ready to kick Lennox awake to find out what happened, but my panicked struggle is interrupted as a figure steps out from the shadows in the far corner of the room. A long black cape billows around Razar’s feet as he steps forward, hood drawn over his eyes and a small, very angry ball of orange fur clutched in his grasp.

I stare at Milo, whose tiny sharp teeth are sunk into Razar’s pointer finger, and then glare up at the man gliding toward the bed. Milo was in my room last, meaning Razar went in there and stole him back. I open my mouth, ready to chew him a new one about how rude it is to steal someone’s cat when they just saved your life, when Razar slowly brings Milo away from his chest, his hand stroking his fur almost reverently before he gently deposits my cat on my belly.

Wait… what? Did Razar just give me my cat back?

Milo hisses up at Razar, fur standing on end before he turns in a circle, his small paws kneading at the blanket covering me, working to find a comfortable place to lie down. He quickly curls up on my stomach, flicking his fluffy tail around his body, the tip twitching in frustration as he keeps his angry blue eyes on Razar.

“What…” I trail off, more confused than ever. This must be some kind of trap. I’m pretty sure if I reach out to touch Razar, I will either A- end up with a knife in the back of my hand or B- end up on the floor as he shakes his head in disapproval at my pathetic attempt to pet my own cat. I stare at Milo with suspicion, then look back up at Razar, who is suddenly leaning over the bed, his dark green eyes coming into view under the hood, making me jerk my head back into my pillow.

Rough, strong fingers dart out, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look up into those dark, angry eyes as he slowly shakes his head. My breath hitches as I swallow, trying not to think about how cool his fingers are on my heated skin.

“Don’t you EVER do that again,” he snarls, a threatening growl rumbling in his chest as he leans even closer to me, bringing our faces only inches apart.

“Razar,” I whisper, unsure of what to say, but before I can scrabble a thought together, Razar releases me. His hand darts down and grabs my free one, yanking it up so he can study it. His face darkens, anger the likes I’ve never seen on any human face crossing his features, and I hold my breath as I see a peek of his Beastia crawling to the surface. I lean forward, looking at my hand and gasp when I see the glowing red mark on my wrist, pulsing with red magic with every beat of my heart.

“Shit.” Razar nods, hand tightening on mine as he snarls and turns on his heel, cloak billowing out dramatically around him as he strides for the door.

“You have twenty-four hours with my tiny monster before I attempt to re-collect him, Pup,” he growls, opening the door to the room, and I raise a brow when I find Jesthren on the other side of the door, guarding it protectively. He looks into the room with a hint of concern but smiles warmly when he catches my eye, winking at me just before Razar slams it shut behind him. Did… did Razar just call me a pup?

All the sleeping men in the room jerk awake, Valen’s arms instantly banding around my body protectively as Lennox jumps to his feet, a blade magically appearing in his hand. Creed reaches for me, then stops when he sees me in Valen’s arms and blinks.

“Oh! Oh shit, she’s awake. Guys, Meyer’s awake!” Lennox scowls at Creed, catching him by the arm when he tries to launch himself at me. He yanks him off the bed and tosses him to the ground like a sack of flour, eliciting several loud and angry curses from Creed.

“We do have eyes, Credence.” Nox’s dark gaze rakes over me slowly and makes me shift in Valen’s arms. I feel slightly self-conscious with his full attention on me.

“Razar was supposed to wake us up when she regained consciousness,” Nox snaps, pointing his knife at the door as Valen’s fingers press so hard into my skin that it almost hurts. I comb my fingers through his wild hair to calm him down and sigh in contentment when he sags into me, tucking his face into my neck and pressing a soft kiss against my pulse point.

“I think the whole door slamming part was Razar’s way of waking us up,” Creed mutters, standing up and brushing off his clothes before slugging Nox in the arm, earning himself a warning glare from the grumpy Viking.

Creed shoulders past Nox, hops onto the bed and wiggles his arms under Valen’s so he can be wrapped up in the weird snuggle hug we have going on right now. I watch Nox’s lips roll into a thin line as he pushes his dark hair out of his face. The silver beads in the braids clink together as he sighs, sits on the edge of the bed, and nods, looking more tired than I’ve ever seen him before.

“You scared the shit out of us, Lemon Drop,” Creed rasps into my ear, his nose burying into my hair as he clings to me. Valen is still too tense, and I didn’t miss the dirty look he sent Creed for joining our snuggle. His ordinarily pale green eyes are more gray than green, and his lips look almost purple.

“What happened?” I look at Nox, who is staring at me with a weird sort of look in his eyes. “Are Jordan and Theo all right? What about Elaine? What happened with the Rogue Hunters and the?—”

“Everyone’s fine,” Nox says, cutting me off as he raises a hand, stopping my stream of questions. Creed snorts in disagreement, and I glare at Nox, wanting to know the truth. Nox shoots him a dirty look before tilting his head and sighing.

“Jordan was injured, but—” I don’t wait for the rest of the sentence, shoving at Valen’s chest while kicking Creed out of the bed, making him fall to the floor for a second time with an angry shout. Valen literally growls, the sound reminding me of Razar’s Beastia, but I ignore him as I heave myself upright, launching Milo to the end of the bed with a disgruntled hiss.

“Holy shit, when did she get that strong?” Creed asks under his breath.

Swaying on my feet, my vision blacks out momentarily, but I don’t let that stop me as I dart for the door, only for Nox to catch me by the waist and toss me back on the bed. “No!” His green eyes darken as he points a big finger at me. “You just died, Meyer! You do realize that, yes?” he asks, his tone incredulous as he glares at me.

I shove up on my hands, blowing a strand of hair off my face as I mentally prepare to do battle with this annoying bastard when Valen’s arms wrap back around me. I squeak in surprise as I’m hauled off the bed and into his arms. He stands, cradling me close as he walks to the dresser nearby and gently lowers me to my feet.

“Valen?” I reach out and set a palm on his chest as he opens a drawer and grabs a huge black shirt. I watch him; the way his bloodshot eyes hardly leave my face, even as he gestures for me to raise my hands above my head. I frown and look down, then curse when I realize I’m practically naked save for the small pair of black cotton panties I have on.

There is a harsh inhale of breath, and I look over my shoulder, finding Nox glaring at my back with a fury I only see when he’s on the battlefield. Creed's eyes roam down my back before he curses and shakes his head, looking away. I frown, and then my heart stalls as I realize what he’s seeing—my scars.

Shit.

I turn, ducking my head to fight the embarrassed blush climbing up my neck, and look back to Valen. “Where did my clothes go?” When his jaw only tightens in response, Nox sighs, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he steps closer to me and answers for him. His hand darts out to grab Creed by the back of his shirt when he tries to get close to Valen.

“I cut them off you since they were covered in blood, and I needed to get the arrow out of your back.” I wince and nod, realizing he must have seen my scars then. Had Razar seen them as well? Will he make fun of me for being weak? I keep my eyes on Valen as he helps me put the shirt over my head, pulling my long hair through so it doesn't get tangled. At least I wasn’t covered in blood when I woke up this time. It looks like someone bathed me, my skin silky smooth and hair flowing around my shoulders.

“Would you stop pushing me around?” Creed hisses at Nox as Valen smooths the shirt down. Right, well, I don't have the energy to deal with this right now. There’s something wrong with Valen so I’ll concentrate on that and leave the rest for later.

“Valen? Hey, look at me.” I lean forward and cup his cold cheek with my hands as his colorless eyes meet mine. I almost cringe from the emotionless look there and shoot a worried glance over my shoulder at Creed and Nox, who have stopped arguing and watch us with concerned looks of their own. “Are… are you alright? Were you injured in the fight?” Valen’s lips twist to the side as he shakes his head then scoops me back into his arms and heads for the door.

“Whoa, okay. Where are we going?” Looping my arms around his neck, I hold him tight, which seems to ease the tension in his shoulders somewhat.

“Where are you taking her, Valen? She’s still not fully recovered, and I need to check on her again!” Nox snaps, following close on Valen’s heels as we head into the hallway. “Valen!” I peek over Valen’s shoulder and watch Creed grab Nox and yank him to a stop, tossing me a pained smile before shaking his head.

“Nox, he hasn’t said a damned word since her heart started beating again, and he coaxed her back from her dreamscape. Just give him a moment. He’s obviously dealing with some shit,” Creed whispers, and Valen grunts, no doubt hearing his brothers.

“Milo!” I shout, worried about leaving him alone. I don’t want Razar to come catnap him again. Creed snaps his fingers and runs back into the room, coming back out after a few seconds with a raging and hissing Milo extended out in front of him, a look of pure terror on his face.

“It’s possessed,” Creed states, making sure to keep my cat as far away from his body as possible as he runs to catch up with us. Milo twists, trying to bite his hand, and Creed starts running in place, eyes wide with panic. “Ahh! Take it, take it!” he hollers, practically tossing Milo at Nox, who rolls his eyes in disgust.

“It’s a silly kitten. What’s wrong with you?” Nox grabs Milo from Creed, tucking him into his side, and the angry ball of orange fur instantly calms, making me raise a brow in surprise.

“That thing is not a kitten! It’s a fucking hazard! I’ve met feral Beastia with better temperaments than that cat.” Creed steps away from Nox, keeping a safe distance from Milo.

Squeezing Valen a little harder, I bury my nose into his neck, breathing in the fresh scent of winter air and citrus as he carries me down the dimly lit hall. “Valen?” I urge, my worry tripling as he shifts me in his hold, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist and keep my face pressed to his neck.

“I’m taking you to Jordan,” he rasps out, the words barely audible. I want to press for more, but hold my tongue and let him have a moment. When Jesthren came into that dream, he told me I died and Nox just confirmed it. I’m sure I would be an absolute mess if I had to watch Valen die, and to be honest, I’m not sure what to say. Sorry won’t work because I’m not sorry I jumped in front of that arrow, even if Razar is a catnapping bastard.

I wrinkle my nose at the thought of Razar dead, and somehow, it makes my stomach drop. I don’t like the prick, but his grunts and weird insults have made me almost fond of the quiet Regalis brother. And for the life of me, I can’t get over how he looked… how he felt when he was hovering over me naked before the battle. Or the burning anger and concern in his eyes only a few moments ago when he set Milo on me and stormed from the room. I sigh, confused at myself and Razar as I cling to Valen even more, peeking over his shoulder at Nox and Creed, who keep a safe distance from us but ensure we are always in their sights.

Nox glares at me, his heavy brow pulling down when he catches my gaze, and I know he’s pissed simply by the weird shade of red climbing up his thick neck. The man’s got to chill, or he’s going to die of a stroke or something. And why is he glaring at me? I was only trying to save his brother. Shouldn’t he be happy? Or, at the very least, less angry? My head is throbbing, and I decide I don’t have the mental willpower to figure out the youngest Regalis brother right now. Returning his glare, I move a hand off Valen’s neck and flip off the big Viking, making Creed choke out a laugh that he tries to hide with a cough.

“Thank you,” I whisper into Valen’s ear and relax into his strong hold, trying to ignore the aches in my body. My mind is swirling with questions, like what happened with the fight? We obviously won if we’re all here, right? Are the Russians still here? What about the Demon who tried to kill Razar? How many of our people were lost?

Knowing Valen needs to be in the right headspace to answer my questions, I make a mental note to get Creed alone to quiz him. Either that or I need to find Elaine. She won’t sugarcoat everything the way Creed will. I nod and close my eyes, trusting Valen to bring me to check on my friends; then I’ll find Elaine.