A Surrender Of Hope (Umbra Hunters #3)

8. Meyer

EIGHT

Meyer

“ I nanis?” I repeat as Lennox paces the length of the room in front of me. He grunts and nods, running a hand through his long black hair while pacing, making the small silver charms woven into the braids clink together. His shoulders are tense, his muscles are practically bulging under the tight black shirt he’s wearing, and it’s way too distracting. “And he’s a king?” I ask, trying to keep up with the story. I wring my hands together, feeling exhausted, like I could lay down on this bed and sleep for days, yet there’s a nervous energy in me, dancing just beneath my skin. It started right after I woke up and keeps growing by the minute.

“More like the Devil. Inanis was once the ruler of his kingdom, lording over a race of Demons similar to mine, in the way that the Royalty could shift into larger, more monstrous forms. But they also controlled the Therion,” he says, hands moving from his hair to his hips as he turns and looks at me. “The beasts they created to protect their lands.”

“Okay,” I murmur, letting that information sink in. “And I’m guessing something went wrong to cause a war,” I add, thinking about the dreams I’ve had. Nox frowns and nods, head tilting to the side as he studies me. I rub at the weird ache in my chest, trying to get it to go away as I keep piecing together parts of this Demon puzzle.

“Yes, Inanis wanted more control. He felt our kingdoms should unite and remove the Veil between the human and Fae realms. Both realms had resources that ours lacked, so instead of coming up with a solution to help revive and restore our world, he wanted to take them from the other realms. To strip them of their inhabitants and replace them with Demons. One kingdom per realm.”

“That’s insane,” I whisper, trying not to get too distracted by the mentions of Fae. It’s not the time or place, but we’re totally circling back to that topic once we have a moment.

“It is, and the problem was that Inanis had supporters on every side. Ones in my father's very house—his family—who felt that being the strongest of the three realms meant we could take from those weaker than us. The Dark Wars began when my father and Varick refused to follow Inanis’ plans. Inanis took his Therion and made them more monstrous and deadly to even the strongest Demons to have more power.”

“The Beastia,” I whisper, and Nox nods.

“He needed an army to take Orcus and Varick’s Kingdoms.”

“Varick?” I ask, having an idea of who Nox is talking about, but wanting to make sure.

“The Dream Walker King,” Nox says, confirming my suspicions.

“Right,” I mutter and frown. “The Dark Wars… really? That’s the best your so-called superior race could come up with?” I tease, making Nox crack a smile. He looks at me from the corner of his eye and chuckles as he walks over and sits on the bed beside me. My heart skips a beat from his close proximity, the ache in my chest doubling, making me curl my shoulders in to help relieve it.

“Yeah, it’s not the best name, but at least it’s better than the Beast Feud,” he says, and I blink at him, shaking my head in disappointment.

“The… Beast Feud? Who the hell is in charge of the names? They need to be fired.”

“Agreed,” Nox grumbles, then sighs and reaches out his hand slowly, holding it between us in a silent offer. I wrinkle my nose, but eventually take hold of his hand, trying not to shiver at the warmth from his rough skin. “This,” he says in a deep voice, his big thumb gently running over the bright red mark on my wrist, “is Inanis’ mark. The sigil for his kingdom. The fact that it’s on you is concerning.” I snort at that remark, then grin when Nox glares at me.

“Sorry, but that isn't shocking information. From my dreams alone, I could tell this guy was… is bad. Trust me, I’m not excited about having it on me any more than you are. This is the first time it came back with me from a dream, though,” I muse, looking down to where Nox is still grazing the tender skin etched with the red mark. Nox’s thumb freezes, and I can hear a soft snarl making its way up from his throat, the sound reminding me of what Milo does when Razar gets too close to him.

“How long have you been seeing Inanis?” His voice is deceptively calm, and I frown, trying to think back to the first time I saw the man show up in the field. It had been the night Valen had woken me and… I smile at the reminder of how sweet my dream man was, my body heating as I think about how he had kissed me, touched me, and made me feel things I didn’t know were possible. “Meyer!” Nox snaps, jolting me out of my lust-induced fog. I shake my head, more confused than ever. Sure, I’ve always had a healthy appetite for sex, but hell, it feels like I’m some kind of horn dog right now.

“Sorry. Uh, last week sometime? It’s not been too long,” I add when Nox’s face flushes a weird purple color. His hand tightens on mine, and I roll my eyes, knowing sweet Nox is gone, and I’m back with the asshole version of him.

“Why didn’t you tell me the moment he showed up? This is serious, Meyer. I need to bring you back to Versipellis so we can figure out how to remove it,” he grinds out.

“You have to bring me where?”

“Home. There is no way for us to remove this mark. Valen and I both tried. We need my father’s help,” he admits, and I shake my head.

“I’m not going to Hell,” I say, not sure how I feel about all this. Do I want the mark on me? No. Especially after the last visit I had from this Inanis guy. But to go to Hell… or Versipellis. Yeah, not liking that plan. And meeting the King of the Demons? That's a hard pass.

“It’s not Hell, or I guess for humans it is, but it’s not all fire and brimstone.” Nox’s frustration is clear in his voice as he glares at me. “You should’ve told me about this the moment it happened. Have I not saved your life multiple times? Why didn’t you come to me?” he practically roars, the sound far too loud and making the ache in my already throbbing head worsen. I scoff and yank my hand from his, standing from the bed and trying to put some distance between us. My body feels funny. All flushed and weird, and I’m pretty sure I’m running a fever or something.

“Why would I? I appreciate you saving me, Lennox, but my life wasn’t in danger at the time; I thought they were bad dreams. You haven't exactly been very kind with our encounters, and I had no idea who the dude was. I thought I was going crazy! If I’d told you I was seeing a giant man who touched my?—”

“He touched you?!” Lennox roars, leaping to his feet like the dramatic princess he is. His chest heaves as his shoulders tremble and grow, while large horns appear at his temples. I can hear the seams of his clothes rip just as his magic cords around his body, a dark shadow appearing behind him as huge, bat-like wings slowly materialize.

“My hand,” I finish slowly, eyeing the now furious Demon as he completely loses his shit. Hmm, okay, so that's an odd reaction to a hand touch, but this is Nox, so it really shouldn’t surprise me. I’m definitely going to keep the claws puncturing my shoulders to myself if he’s going to act like this. “Um, maybe try to calm down. You look like your head’s about to explode,” I add unhelpfully, watching in awe as the Demon grows before my eyes. Nox has always been a behemoth of a man, standing well over a head taller than me, but when he’s in this form, I get a kink in my neck from trying to look up at him.

Pursing my lips, I wonder what it would be like to scale that broad chest and grab his horns. They’re dark and pointed, and a deadly black glow surrounds them, sending a thrill down my spine.

“Hmm, probably shouldn’t,” I mutter as Nox growls.

“You let him touch you?” he asks, his voice so deep I have a hard time understanding him.

“Let him? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I practically screech, stepping up to his massive form and going head-to-head with this impossible, infuriating man. “There was no letting that man do anything. He did what he wanted after he killed everyone in my dreams. Then he sunk his damn claws into my shoulders,” I snarl, the pain of those claws is way too fresh in my mind, and I shiver a little at the reminder, “while he tried to attack my mind! Do you really think I would let him do that?”

His only response is a grunt as he steps toward me, crowding me back against the wall. His big hands wrap around my waist as he leans in, staring me down, a challenge lit in his now black eyes. This is Demon Nox, not the protective man I’ve grown to know over the last few months, but the beast who killed Senior Axford and took control of the castle.

“Back off, Nox,” I grind out, my anger growing, as a dark, lingering excitement wiggles back to the surface. His nostrils flare, and I quickly realize I’m way out of my depth here. Shit. How does one calm down a Demon Prince? To get him to go back to the slightly more reasonable version than this weird growling one? I look around and spot a cup of water on Creed's side table. Bingo.

Leaning to my right, I grab the cup of water and fling its contents at Nox’s face, then bite my lip to stifle the giggle that threatens to break loose at the surprised expression now plastered on his dripping wet face.

“Cool it, Demon boy,” I snap as he slowly lets me go, bringing his hands up to wipe at the water running down his face into his thick beard. I nod in satisfaction when I see his shoulders no longer trembling, and it looks like he’s stopped getting taller. His enormous curved horns are still there, but appear slightly smaller than before. “Now we can have a reasonable conversation where you listen and then give me information, or you can leave,” I add, my smug mood slowly fading as Nox’s eyes stayed glued on my face.

He takes a deep breath, then another, before his right eye twitches and claws suddenly spring from his fingertips. Oh fuck. Okay, water didn’t help. I quickly step away from the wall, darting from him and toward the door just as he snarls and holds a hand out.

“Don’t.” The word comes out as a plea more than a command, and something inside me twists, the urge to run… to see if he would chase, suddenly filling my every thought.

Would he be fast enough to catch me before I made it out of the room? Would he be strong enough to keep me here? I shiver, goosebumps racing over my arms as liquid heat pools in my center and I take another slow step toward the door. The air around me feels heated, and my mind is in some kind of haze as my vision narrows in on Lennox. My ears pop and adjust, and the sound of a door slamming downstairs suddenly becomes audible.

“Meyer. You have no idea what you’re doing right now. Please,” he starts to say, but I’m already turning on my heel. The heat in my body burns through my veins like a drug, and the adrenaline makes me feel indestructible as I throw open the door to Creed’s room and try to dash into the hall. Before I can make it even two steps, I’m yanked off my feet by a furious Demon who snarls into my ear, “I let you escape me once. I won't allow it a second time, Little Demon.” Gasping at the raw need in Nox’s voice, I throw an elbow back on instinct, catching him in the ribs and earning a curse as his hold on me only tightens.

“I’m trying to be a good person here, and you’re making that incredibly difficult,” he snaps, his magic flooding my body. Within seconds, I can feel the aches and pains fading away. “I need to heal you, and instead, you try and start a hunting ritual ? Do you know how dangerous that can be for you if I don’t control myself?”

The pounding in my head is as loud as my heart thumping in my chest, Nox’s warning only fuels the now painful heat inside me. Cool magic spirals inside me, feeling so much stronger than it ever has before. I breathe out a sigh of relief, not realizing how bad that headache had been until now; the pain slowly lessens, and I momentarily stop fighting his hold, allowing my body to heal. Nox suddenly spins me in his arms, shoves me against the wall, and makes me gasp in surprise as he towers over me, his gleaming eyes locked with mine as he leans closer.

I bring my knee up, trying to nail him between the legs, and Nox’s eyes bulge from his sockets. “Kick me there again, Little Demon, and I’ll put you over my knee,” he warns, making goosebumps erupt over my skin.

Like… as in spank me? Is that what he means? Shit, why does that idea only turn me on and make me want to test his limits? See if he really will make good on his threat.

“Lennox, if you spank me, I will have Razar teach me the most painful way to castrate you,” I snap, not wanting him to know how much I actually like the idea. My hands move to press against his firm chest as he closes his eyes and groans, his head ticking to the side in an almost animalistic way. His enormous wings unfold behind him, catching my attention as they take up the majority of the room. “Can I touch them?” I look at the black leather-like wings, wondering if they would be soft or rough under my fingertips.

“No,” he grinds out, the word clipped like it physically pains him to say. I feel a shift of magic against my skin. In seconds, the wings and horns are gone, but his clawed hands still hold me in place, keeping me pinned against the wall with his giant body.

I almost feel upset at the loss of the wings and horns, wondering why they can’t stay and why he wouldn’t let me touch them. Why can he touch me, but I can’t touch him?

“Fine,” I say between gritted teeth as I shove at his chest, needing space. I feel like I’m on fire, sweat beading at my temple as my hands shake. “Then let me go!”

“Are you going to run?” he asks, and I nod, knowing lying will be useless since he’ll know. But hell, I really need some space from him. “Then no. I won't be letting you go. We need to talk, and I only have so much control. You run, and not only will I hunt your sweet ass down, but you’ll also end up bent over the nearest flat surface, fucked and owned before you can even process what happened. Do you understand me? I have been trying to keep myself in check, but in true fucking Meyer fashion, you keep poking every damn button I have!”

“I haven't done a damn thing but exist! I tried to leave months ago, but you made me stay! Why are you mad at me?” I ask, more confused than ever. Not only by the whole fucked and owned bit, but how much I really truly want that. Nox’s eyes widen, and he pulls back from me, a flicker of hurt crossing his expression.

“You want to leave?” Nox asks, the growl in his voice lessening as he stares down at me, eyes moving from mine to my lips, then back as he swallows hard. My heart lurches, and I sigh, letting my head hang as I slowly shake my head. “Don’t lie to me,” Nox mutters, sounding almost dejected. “Do you want to leave, Meyer? If I told you, you could walk out that door and leave this place, never coming back to this castle or its inhabitants. Would you go?”

“Would you let me? And don’t lie to me,” I parrot his words back to him, needing to know this answer. Everything has been more than a little confusing between me and Lennox. I’ve found a place with Valen, I feel it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And even Creed, with our ups and downs, has been one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. Being with him is as easy as breathing.

But Nox? There is tension there, an attraction that makes me long to be in his arms one moment, but then he opens his infuriating mouth, and I want to kick him in the balls the next. I already know my answer, but it hinges on whatever he is about to say. Nox’s hands fall from my body as he slowly stands to his full height, which remains taller than normal. His Demon form is still slightly present, and he stares down at me with a look I can’t decipher. There is a long, painful beat of silence where I hold my breath, the nerves in my belly making me feel sick as I wait for his response.

“I don’t know if I could allow you to leave with no protection,” he finally admits, and I frown, unsure if that is a yes or no answer. “But, ” he rasps, shaking his head as he tears his eyes away from me with a pained grunt. He looks so conflicted at this moment that I almost feel bad about asking the question. “I would let you go if that’s what you truly wanted, Meyer. You’re not a prisoner here.”

Something inside me finally relaxes, melting some of my resistance toward this man. Is everything okay between us now? No, not even close, but am I willing to stay and work toward something better? Yes, as long as he is actually telling the truth. I have a feeling that Nox and I will never get along the way I do with Creed or Valen, but that's a good thing, right? He challenges me, and pushes me to do new things. Not in a Razar tossing me off the wall way… but in his own protective asshole way. I don’t think I would know what to do if Nox was super sweet and nice. It would throw our whole dynamic off.

Besides, if there is anything I’ve learned from the past few months, it’s that these men may not be perfect, but neither am I. And I’m starting to think that leaving now would be the greatest mistake of my life.

My chest feels a million times lighter at Nox’s words, and I didn’t realize how important his answer was to me until he said it out loud. Nox is still looking away, refusing to meet my eyes, so I step right in front of him, closing the small distance he gave me while he was thinking about his answer. Reaching up, I palm his bearded cheek and force him to look at me. When our eyes meet, an explosion of excitement, nervousness, and arousal courses through me.

“I don’t want to leave, Lennox.” I keep our eyes locked, watching as his eyes flutter shut and a shaky breath breaks from his parted lips. “I want to stay here with Valen… Creed… hell, even Razar, though he might kill me for saying that.” His big hands dart out, wrapping around my waist, fingers digging into my sides as he slowly pulls me closer to him. He leans the cheek I have cupped in my hand further into my hold, an almost purr of contentment sounding from his chest. He ducks his head closer to mine, bringing with him the masculine scent of sandalwood and smoke as my toes curl against the cold wood of the floor.

“And you, Lennox Regalis,” I manage to whisper just as he groans, his lips slamming to mine in a bruising kiss, stealing the breath from my lungs.