A Surrender Of Hope (Umbra Hunters #3)

17. Meyer

SEVENTEEN

Meyer

I gasp and freeze, the heat in my center exploding the moment Razar’s lips take mine in a brutal and almost painful kiss. His lips move with a fierce possession, coaxing me to part further for him as he licks into my mouth. I moan, my senses on overdrive as I taste him for the first time. There is a sharp edge to his kiss, dangerous and dark, as his hand releases mine only to weave into the hair at the base of my neck, then grips me with a strength that almost scares me.

Razar’s muscular body is pressed to mine as he steps forward, forcing me back until I collide hard against the bookshelves behind me, not granting me even a centimeter of space. I instinctively arch away from the bite of pain the shelves cause as they dig into my spine, which makes Razar growl as my breasts press more firmly into his body. I don't stop to think about what we’re doing; all I want… all I need is to be closer to this man, to feel him further and have him settle the ache blooming inside me.

Our kiss turns feverish, his lips moving smoothly against my own, making my brain turn to mush. All rational thought leaves me as his big thumb strokes over the delicate skin of my throat, then presses my chin up more, allowing him to deepen our kiss.

I press myself impossibly closer, my hand tightening on the blade I still cling to as the crisp, clean scent of pine fills my senses. I feel his cock thickening against my stomach, so long and firm, reminding me of when I saw him naked in his room weeks ago. A rush of lust ignites in me, and I struggle to breathe as my thighs clench together, my body thrumming with need. My head falls back more as Razar’s grip tightens in my hair.

Razar draws back enough that his sharp teeth rake over my bottom lip, dragging it through his teeth before he bites down, making me yelp in surprise and jerk back. My eyes snap open the moment his do, and we stare at each other, neither of us moving or breathing as realization dawns on us both. My chest heaves, and I look up, surprised and shocked to see I still have ahold of Razar's hair, the dark strands twisted between my fingers.

I look at him, then his hair, trying to catch my breath, watching as those black-green eyes study me, and I can't tell if he’s going to kiss me again or kill me. Razar moves first, his swollen red lips curving into a menacing snarl as he shakes his head like he’s trying to clear the fog of lust that blanketed us both. His movement startles me enough that I finally release his hair, yanking my fingers from the strands and pulling on them hard as I try to shove him back an inch, my breath coming in short, heavy pants.

“Give me the damned blade,” Razar snarls, the fire in his eyes burning into an angry inferno as he tries to reach for my Kalis.

“No!” I snap back, kicking out and connecting with his ankle, taking him by surprise and making him take an unsteady step back. I take advantage, lurching forward and shoving his chest, making his arms windmill out for balance as I try to push him onto his ass. If I can get him on the ground, maybe it’ll buy me enough time to get out of his rooms and find Valen or Creed. I’m guessing Nox will be talking with his dad, and as much as I want to know what’s happening, I also know interrupting that talk would be incredibly stupid. I’ve already complicated the guy’s life enough in the last forty-eight hours, and I don’t need to add to that.

With another rapid shove, Razar’s feet slide over the stone floors, his heel catching on the edge of an uneven stone and he starts to fall back. I grin, but my victory is short-lived when his big hand wraps around my wrist, and with a growl, he yanks me to the ground with him.

I land on top of him, making him huff a pained groan as I try to roll off and crawl away. “Why do you even want it? You have hundreds of blades. I only have one Kalis, and Monroe gave it to me!”

“You left it behind, meaning you relinquished control of it,” Razar argues as I manage to get to my knees. I try to put some distance between us, then curse when his big hand wraps around my ankle and yanks me back to him. I’m pinned under him in less than a second, his hand trapping my wrist which holds my Kalis above my head.

“I didn’t want to leave it behind! It was still…” I trail off when I realize I was about to say my blade was covered in his blood and on the ground behind his Beastia since I had just stabbed him in the chest. I frown, the reminder of stabbing him making me feel almost sick now. At the moment, I had been confused and so fucking scared, but now guilt eats at me from my past actions.

“I paid for that blade with my blood. It’s mine. You want it back?” Razar growls, now moving both my wrists above my head and holding them with one hand as he plucks the Kalis from my fingers and sheaths it at his side. “Then earn it. All you do is whine and complain. Grow up and learn how to fight for something you want. Then maybe I’ll give it back to you,” he snarls, leaning so close our noses brush. I glare at him, my breaths still coming in short, rapid succession.

“I don’t?—”

“You do! It's always about what you want, not about the greater picture. Stop fighting us and look at the reasons we do things. You’re young, but not a child. You need to learn, or you will end up dead. For real, this time. We can't always save your ass, Pup. You have to at least attempt not to get hurt for once,” he scoffs in disgust, his eyes flicking from my eyes to my lips then back and I immediately feel self-conscious.

“I’m not trying to get hurt,” I mutter, frustration filling me as he rolls his eyes.

“No, you just throw yourself in front of arrows and fucking die!”

“I did that to save you!” I scream at him, and his expression darkens.

“I never asked you to save me! It was not worth it! In the end, you made a mess of my brothers. Look at Valen; he’s still not talking like he normally does, and now we have this …” he hisses, grabbing my wrist and turning it so we can both see the red mark carved into my flesh. “To deal with. You never should have jumped in front of me!”

“You would have died!”

“You DID die!” he roars in my face, making me flinch back from his raw anger. “Dammit, Meyer,” he snarls, drawing back enough that he’s not screaming in my face just as the door to his room flies open, revealing a worried-looking Valen. My dream man's pale green eyes move from Razar to me, then to my hands, which Razar still has pinned above me, before settling on my face, no doubt seeing the small amount of fear there. His jaw tightens, eyes darkening as they slowly drift back to his brother on top of me.

Oh, shit. This probably doesn't look good, and considering Valen was already mad at Razar for tossing me off the cliff and finding out about the castle wall incident, I’m guessing this will go south fast. Razar groans, his eyes shutting as he shakes his head, probably coming to the same conclusion I had.

“It’s not what it looks like!” I say quickly. The urge to defend Razar baffles me because he’s currently being an asshole, but I’m already too late as Valen launches himself at Razar, tearing him off me so fast my head spins. “Shit,” I groan, rolling to my side and watching as Valen starts pummeling Razar, who surprisingly doesn’t fight back.

“We… were only talking!” Razar snarls, catching Valen’s fist in one hand while trying to block his other blow.

“Then why did she look terrified!? What did you say to her, and why did you have her pinned?” Valen’s fist moves fast, catching Razar in the side and earning a threatening growl.

“I stole my blade back,” I explain, pushing up to my knees and trying to grab Valen’s hand before he can punch Razar again.

“Stay the fuck out of this before you get hurt,” Razar snaps, glaring at me when he sees me try to stop Valen.

“Don't tell her what to do,” Valen says, punching Razar again just as they go rolling across the floor, crashing into a bookshelf and making thick volumes rain down on the idiots, as I crawl after them.

“Jesus Christ. You two are acting like children,” I scold, ignoring that I had just been the one rolling around on the ground only a moment ago, but at least Razar and I weren’t actually hurting each other. Razar manages to pin Valen this time, bringing his arm back to punch him, and I growl, launching myself at his side and distracting him enough that Valen manages to buck the two of us off him.

Razar curses, his arms wrapping around me protectively as we fall to the side, his hand cradling the back of my head just before it can connect with the hard stone beneath us.

“Mi Sol!” Valen shouts, eyes widening when he sees I had been on Razar when he launched him off. “Let her go!” Valen rolls toward us, trying to grab me from Razar as he panics.

“I’m fine,” I grumble, batting at his hands while shoving at Razar’s chest.

“What the hell are you three doing?” Creed shouts, taking us all by surprise as we look up, finding him standing at Razar’s open door with their mother at his side.

“Good lord. Razar, Valen let that poor girl go. She’s not a toy to fight over,” their mother scolds with a stern look on her beautiful face.

“Why are you on the ground?” Creed asks, a puzzled expression on his face as he crosses the room and toes Valen away from Razar before reaching a hand down to me. I slap my hand in his, letting him yank me to my feet as Razar sits back on his knees.

“Raz had her pinned,” Valen mutters, standing to his feet and dusting off his suit coat as he watches me with an intensity that makes me shiver.

“She stole my blade,” Razar grinds out, and I scoff.

“My blade.” Razar glares at me and crosses his arms over his chest as his mom laughs, her amused gaze moving from me to Razar with a delighted smile on her face.

“Valen, dear. How about you help Meyer to your rooms? I think a bath might be in order,” she whispers. My cheeks darken in embarrassment as the Queen looks me up and down with an arched brow. It’s not a mean look, just a surprised one. “How did she end up like this? Why did you four come back in pristine condition when she looks like this?” she asks, looking to Creed, who wraps his arm around my waist, kissing my dirty hair before gently pushing me into Valen’s embrace.

“Raz shoved her off the cliff through the rift and didn't teach her how to land,” he explains, making their mother’s eyes widen as she gives Razar a startled look.

“Yannos!” she gasps as she looks at Razar. I don't miss the slight flush of his cheeks or slight hunch to his shoulders as his mother starts lecturing him about how Princes don't toss ladies off cliffs and how she raised him better.

“Come, Regina. Let's get you washed up before we visit with Mom. She wants to talk with you,” he whispers, turning me toward Razar’s door. I look over my shoulder to Razar once more, wondering if I should feel bad that his mom is scolding him like a toddler, but honestly, tossing me off the cliff was a dick move. But I can’t help but feel a little sad when Razar refuses to look at me as I leave, and I hate myself for it. My life is complicated enough with the three relationships I have. I really shouldn't be adding a fourth. But even as I think the words, I remember how Razar’s lips felt against mine, and I shiver, leaning more into Valen’s chest and closing my eyes, letting him guide me to his room. I’m in way over my head here, and I don’t know if I should be excited or scared.