A Very Merry Hitman (Holiday With a Hitman #2)

4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday.

Aileen smiled at Diego, her blind date who’d made her feel comfortable from the first moment. There wasn’t a spark exactly, but she knew that could take time. She was just getting up in her head because of her proposition to Dante.

Well, she was in her head because of his rejection. Could standing there and staring in horror be considered a rejection? If not, him not speaking to her since said rejection certainly was one. Though to be fair she’d sort of been avoiding him.

Ugh . She mentally face-palmed herself. He’d definitely rejected her. Clearly she’d misread some things between them. But instead of dying of embarrassment, she was moving on. Taking back control of her life. And the next time she saw him, she would pretend everything was normal. Even if it wasn’t. Oh god, hopefully he wouldn’t want to talk about anything.

“This is a really cute place,” she said as the server set different cakes in front of them.

Her date had chosen a mini tuxedo cake and she’d chosen a pink velvet with buttercream frosting that she wanted to bury her face in. She’d show restraint, but oh my god, it looked so amazing. So even if the date was crap, she was getting cake. She called that a win.

“I thought something simple might be easier for a first date, and we can walk along the water later if you want. Or you can bail early and no hard feelings—this is a great place to eat my feelings if you decide I’m a terrible date,” Diego said with a laugh.

She snort-laughed at his words. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it wasn’t this humorous man who Elliana had assured her was basically a perfect human being. He was also easy on the eyes, so there was that. He was polished, clean cut, and if she had to guess, was a runner. He had that lean, strong build. But…there was just no spark. “So did you pick this place or did Elli?”

“It was all Elli,” he said, laughing. “She told me you loved cake and coffee or tea, and that if I made you uncomfortable for even one second, she’d cut the brakes in my car.”

Aileen froze, a bite of cake held in midair. “I feel like you’re not joking.”

“Not joking.” He lifted a shoulder casually, speared some of the dark frosting and white cake on his plate. “Elli’s always been overprotective of the people in her life. She saved my ass more than once overseas.”

The fact that he called her Elli and not Elliana said a lot in Aileen’s book. Elli was particular about who she let into her life. For the most part she didn’t seem to like people. Or maybe she was wary of them, was a better description. But she knew that Diego had been adjacent to Elli in some sort of official military capacity that she’d refused to give Aileen details on. “That I definitely believe. She’s the most fearless person I’ve ever met.”

“True. But I want to talk about you. So tell me more about this ASMR stuff.”

She blinked, not realizing Elli had told him about that. Aileen was an ASMRtist and had a pretty big following online. “Oh, well, first I should say that there are different types of ASMR out there.” She’d never had anyone really ask her about her job because the people in her life knew about it and it wasn’t something that normally came up in conversation. People in her everyday life outside of her circle knew that she made “YouTube videos to help people sleep” and that was the way she liked it.

He nodded, listening intently in the same way Dante did. Dang it, no. No thoughts of Dante.

She cleared her throat, wondering if she really was ready for this whole dating thing. Because it meant she had to actually open up, talk about herself, be personable. Even if she wasn’t related to or friends with a bunch of hitmen, it was still part of her nature to keep her life private.

“I’m going to give you the basic description of what it is. ASMR is an acronym for autonomous sensory meridian response. It describes that sensation you might get from different visual stimuli. Or auditory stimuli. Have you ever been listening to an audiobook or watching a late-night infomercial and gotten sort of, like, tingly? Like your whole body is relaxed or your head feels tingly in a sort of relaxing way and you just want to sleep?”

He nodded, laughing lightly. “Yeah, when I can’t sleep, I watch a certain online shopping network. I have a couple saved. I have no idea why, but something about the host’s voice makes me tired. I have no interest in the jewelry they’re selling but something about those videos knocks me out every time.”

“That’s essentially ASMR. There’s a lot of unintentional ASMR out there too—there are a couple quilting tutorial videos I personally use to get to sleep. But a lot of the more mainstream ‘triggers’ are tapping on various surfaces, scratching, crinkling paper, turning the pages of books or magazines or whatever. There’s a lot of research that suggests that ASMR releases endorphins or other neurohormones that help us relax.”

“And this is what you do for a living? Make videos?” There was no judgment in his voice, only curiosity.

“Yeah, I’ve gotten to the point where I bring in enough income from sponsors to pay my bills.” More than enough, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She was proud that she’d turned her hobby, something she’d once used to help channel her trauma, into an actual job. Not just a job, but something she loved and was able to help others with. It wasn’t a typical career, but it worked well for her schedule. And she didn’t have to talk to people if she didn’t want to.

“That’s incredible. If you don’t mind me asking more questions, how did you get into it?”

“I sort of fell into it after I had my daughter.” Not exactly the truth. She’d been dealing with PPD and trauma from her attack, then her rapist having the audacity to take her to court for partial custody after he’d been found not guilty. That time in her life had been the darkest she could have imagined. She’d had insomnia, had been in this constant state of panic, and she’d stumbled across a forum about ASMR during one of her late-night attempts to find a way to fall asleep. It had changed her entire life and she would always be grateful for that.

She cleared her throat, banishing her darker thoughts, not wanting to think about the past right now. Or ever. That chapter was behind her and she was ready to take the reins of her life again.

“I was struggling with sleep and stumbled across some videos that helped with insomnia. At the time I was home a lot with my newborn and thought I’d try making some videos of my own. I don’t even show my entire face. Originally I did it out of privacy and now it’s part of my ‘brand.’ The whole thing was very therapeutic and then I started getting so many followers. Another ASMRtist mentioned my channel as one of her favorites and that’s what sort of kicked things off for me. I reached out to thank her and then we ended up collaborating a couple times. We’re still friends to this day. And for the record, there’s some very odd ASMR out there. I’m not knocking it, but there is definitely a very small subset of weirdos who are into it for kink or whatever.” She shrugged. “So there you go.”

“That’s incredible.” He smiled warmly at her, and nope, no butterflies. But whatever—he was nice and handsome and Elli liked him, so that counted for something.

She was at max capacity for talking about herself. Clearing her throat, she said, “Tell me more about you. I know you served with Elliana but I don’t know much more than that.” And Elli was always so secretive about stuff.

Over the next half hour, they ate cake, had hot tea and got to know each other. And the entire time she wished it was Dante with her instead.

But she knew what wishing got you. Exactly nada. So she buried her feelings down deep and paid attention to the man in front of her.