A Warrior’s Fate (Wolves of Morai #1)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I sla needed alcohol. A lot of alcohol.

Or sex. A lot of sex would work, too.

From her spot atop the infirmary’s roof, she trained her eyes across the Wall stretched long behind the treetops in the distance. She had yet to try either distraction, and no other diversions had yielded any success. Not talking with friends or family, not endless pacing, not reading, and not playing card games. But she wasn’t about to ask someone to smuggle her in a bottle of wine or find a stranger to drag into a supply closet for an escape. She had more class than that—she’d wait for the drinking and a casual tryst until she got back to Io—but with her discharge not until noon tomorrow, she needed something to leech some comfort.

And that’s when she sought out the moon.

She sighed as she let the lunar glow work its magic, her skin kissed by the light that slipped through the cast of clouds and the plume of smoke sent up by the glowing bonfire down below. Beneath it, she finally felt some sense of empowerment. Her lumerosi thrummed along her body, but their iridescence was faint. A sign of her weakened wolf and that she’d have trouble shifting for a while. She’d had a brush with death, and as Adrien had relayed, the all-around healing would be a slow process.

Thankfully, the delivery of that news had come along with the removal of wraps from her hand and forearm, and due to her self- approved escapade not resulting in any deterioration, she was free to move where she pleased as long as she stayed on the premises.

The roof counted, at least, in her mind.

So, with the marker in her pocket, she trekked up the several flights of stairs alone and broke into the chilled night air, greeted by the moon, the soothing hum of wind, a chorus of prattling insects nearby, and the faint smell of woodsmoke. She found her perfect corner, close to some shadows where she could look on at the people surrounding the fire and the trees while keeping herself hidden along the railing.

And then she simply closed her eyes and tried to relax.

Just for a second.

“Beautiful.”

Or not.

Isla huffed at the voice. She didn’t need to turn to know who it was. She didn’t need to ask how he’d found her. Instead, she glowered at the night sky.

Of course, parting with Kai couldn’t have been easy. Not a simple “excuse me” and walk away. Fate liked games. She had a sense of humor. She liked spinning stories, and what better way to have theirs end than the way it began, underneath the radiance of her sister.

Beautiful.

Isla brought her hand to the rail.

“What? No smartass remark?” Kai taunted good-naturedly, taking a few steps closer until she could see the outline of him in her periphery. He kept to the shadows. “I’ll admit, the brooding is nearly as arousing as the anger, but you silent is also quite unnerving.”

So, he was really going to take this act of his to the end.

“What do you want me to say?” Her tone was even, but the rest of her body betrayed her, nostrils flaring and grip tightening ever so slightly.

Kai wasn’t blind to the actions but apparently blind to the reasons for them. “It’s nice you got those wrappings off,” he said softer than his earlier heckling. “Are you feeling okay? Does it still hurt?”

Isla’s lips twitched downwards, but she wasn’t sure for what. Anger? Sadness? He sounded like he cared.

She could continue to act cold and hope he’d get bored and disappear, or she could do what she really wanted.

“I heard what you said about me to your beta.”

Even just saying it felt like a weight off her chest. She had refused to look at him as she spoke.

“When I introduced you at the Gate?” Kai asked, understandably confused.

“No.”

The word hung heavy, and the air went still. No whir of wind. No distant crackling of fire. Even the chittering bugs seemed to fall mute.

It didn’t take very long for Kai to put the pieces together. “You—” He stopped himself, apparently finding no need to waste his breath finishing a question. No need to ask how she’d heard or even berate her for the eavesdropping. That was all trivial at this point.

Instead, he sighed and began in a way one would to a friend—or lover—they’d done wrong, “Isla…”

“ No ,” she repeated, this time sharp, dagger-like. “Don’t Isla me. You don’t get to Isla me.”

“How…” Now Kai went quiet as if picking over his words carefully. “How much did you hear?”

“Enough.”

Another hush followed her snapped response. Amidst Kai’s long and careful deliberation, Isla fought to keep her temper in check. She’d let him know how pissed off she was, but she wouldn’t let him take her poise.

“I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?”

Isla whipped around, her breath catching slightly at the sight of him. But she buried that feeling of connection deep down, hid it away in some corner of herself to shrivel and rot.

Her fingers constricted around the railing until the metal pulled the skin of her palms taut. Until it burned. Until it hurt. “None of this has been about ‘protecting me’. Just yourself and your stupid title and bloodline. What you told Ezekiel is the truth, right? You can’t have me—no, you don’t want me —as your mate because if I became your luna, it would be a disaster. ”

“I didn’t say that.” A technicality.

“I must’ve missed you disagree. Questions , unrest …how unstable is your pack if I could screw it up so easily just by existing ?”

“ Enough .”

Isla had winced even before Kai growled through gritted teeth. She knew she’d gone too far the second she finished the sentence.

With eyes narrowed, Kai stepped closer. Dangerously close. Close enough that a strong gust of wind could throw all their efforts of the past week away. Enough that Isla could see the horde of stormy chaos in his eyes. Enough that his breath was warm on her face, tickled at her nose, her cheeks, her lips.

Her skin prickled, and her heart pounded with ire and that maddening “something else” only he could draw out.

“I know it might be difficult for you, but you’re going to listen to me.”

The guttural words full of assertion and power, mixed with his proximity, proved to be something cruel. Isla couldn’t stop herself from becoming locked in place, hanging onto whatever left his mouth, focusing on the way it moved. That essence of their bond she’d tucked away was reviving and leaking back through her invisible armor. Kai had to have known what he was doing, or he wouldn’t have risked the distance.

“I don’t know exactly what you heard or what conclusion that mind of yours is running to, but everything I said in there was for a reason and in your best interest,” he told her slowly so she could absorb every part of it.

“But he’s your beta , and he figured it out. Why not just tell him the truth?” Isla scanned his face, going back on her vow to never scour for his emotions or thoughts again. When she reached his eyes once more, she concentrated and followed the dark clouds until, much to her surprise, she felt she found success.

Nerves.

He was nervous about something.

She would’ve thought that it was due to the fact she’d figured out his true intentions. Fear that, out of spite, she’d touch him just to reject him—because it had, admittedly, crossed her mind at the peak of her fury.

But that wasn’t the answer because she also found honesty, truth. The same conviction she’d seen during the most certain fact spoken between them—that they were destined for each other.

Everything Kai had said to his beta was purposeful, and it had all been with her well-being in mind, which made everything so much worse.

“Why do I have to be nothing, and why do I have to be ‘handled’ for you to feel I’m protected? This isn’t just about what I want, and it’s not just about that public unrest either. You’re keeping the truth from your beta . There’s something else—bigger. What am I missing?”

Kai’s jaw clenched, a signal she was on the right path.

“It’s not your concern.”

Isla blinked, dumbstruck. “Not my concern? Are you—no.” She shook her head. “No. Not acceptable.”

“Not acceptable?”

“You can’t tell me that you’re trying to protect me, that I’m unsafe somehow, and then not tell me why. That’s not how things work.”

“It’s pack business.”

“And mine if I’m in trouble.”

“I’m handling it.”

“Is that your favorite phrase?”

Kai gave her a flat look. “It’s…not your place, Isla.”

“My place?” Isla’s laugh came out in an astonished breath. “What even is my place? I mean, really . One touch is literally the only thing that keeps this from being my place. That keeps us from just making it my place.”

It had been a simple complaint, a simple message, one well-established. The only thing stopping her from reigning at Kai’s side was the fact they hadn’t touched…or felt the bond snap in place, but one had to come before the other.

Such a simple gripe she’d proposed, yet, after watching Kai falter at the mention, one she realized had been the key she needed.

Isla knew nothing about the intricacies of mates or their bonds. She knew of the technical aspects—being together for the rest of time, broken apart only by death, and the ability to share thoughts without being shifted. But all the emotions and deeper meanings, the intensity of the feelings, she was learning and discovering as she went along.

Kai never seemed to balk. He was always in complete control during those times he’d sent her mind spinning with his words and his presence, all the while with a cocky grin on his face. Except for the night of the feast when he watched as she was touched and bestowed a kiss by another man. Gone was his grin and composure when she found him completely unraveled in the garden. A break that stemmed from the deeply ingrained notion that her body was his and his alone.

Their bond was his weakness, too, though manifested differently—a more physical way. And if she wanted to disarm him as he did her, if she wanted to bend him to her will, lock him down to get her point across, she had to take control and pull on that innate desire for her. For her touch, her body, for only him.

“How do you think it would go?” she posed the question, feigning some innocence. Though, the air seemed to take a new charge.

“What?”

Isla swallowed. “I personally don’t think we’d make it off this roof or even waste time taking off all our clothes.”

Kai’s gaze turned suspicious, though danger lurked beneath. “What are you doing?”

Isla shrugged. “Just thinking out loud.” She knew there was only so far she could toe the line before something manifested they may not be able to come back from. “I think one touch, and you’d have me up in the air and pressed against that wall.”

Kai released a loud breath through his nose, not breaking their eye contact. He would know the game she was playing—he was likely a master at it—yet, he seemed defenseless. She could feel it building already. That same possessive pull. That tether.

Isla kept her voice soft like the caress of silk—or her fingertips—languid to allow him to absorb every word, allowing him the time to paint the picture. “I think just one touch, and I’d be begging you to take me…I wonder if I’ll have a hard time keeping quiet. How hard you’ll have to kiss me to muffle the sound. Or if everyone down at the fire will just have to hear me screaming your name while you fuck me and make me yours.” She broke her following words down to syllables, craning her neck to say in a hush as close to his ear as she could. “Again…and again…and again.”

She had to stop, not just for his sake but for hers, too, judging by the fluttering of her stomach and heat building between her legs.

Kai’s gaze had gone completely dark as he ran his tongue lightly over his bottom lip. He brought it between his teeth, and his eyes flickered down to Isla’s mouth, following the line of her neck down to that little spot at the crook of her collarbone where he was meant to mark her. His chest rose and fell, deeper, faster, his breath mingling with hers.

Isla caught his hand moving forward in her periphery, almost grabbing her hip before it stopped. She hadn’t flinched at the action. She’d waited for it, almost leaned into it.

“What do you want, Isla?”

She shivered at her name said roughly, achingly.

If she was honest, right now—him. She wanted him. All of him. Everywhere. She wanted everything she’d just described. The toe-curling, back-arching, mind-numbing, forget-her-own-name sex that she needed. But she couldn’t have it— never with him—so she stowed away the lust and stood tall, took control.

“I’m your mate. Talk to me like one. Because even without sealing this bond, you know, you feel that it means something. That I have my own place of exception.” She took a step back from him to keep her mind unclouded. “You don’t have to speak to me as an alpha. I understand pack protocol and that there are rules. I don’t need all the official details. But I, at least, deserve to know enough so I can think about protecting myself . If you, as my mate, want me to be safe, truly safe from whatever it is, I need something. Give me something, Kai.”

It was the first time she’d ever addressed him by his name, with no formalities. At it, Kai’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t comment on it. He just looked off, past her, into the forest, and then paced a few steps away. As he took the moment to gather himself, Isla did, too.

Her plan had been risky, but it worked.

“Ezekiel is very by the letter,” Kai explained, finally. “And if there was even the slightest chance of this—of us—happening because I don’t resent you, he’d batten down the hatches to prepare for the potential storm. Your name would be thrown up and down the hierarchy of Deimos like no tomorrow.”

“Okay?”

“I…I don’t believe I’m seeing the true face of everyone within my circles. I don’t believe everyone has the best… intentions for me, so the further away from Deimos and an association with me I can keep you, the better. For my sake and yours.”

Isla fought the urge to ask for more information about who Kai felt distrustful of andwhy. Her skin crawled at what he was alluding to. It was one of the most heinous methods before regulations were imposed on challenges for an alpha title—go first for their mate.

Though they hadn’t completed any type of bond or initiated anything by not touching, they didn’t truly know, now that they’d met and recognized each other for what they were, what effect the death of the other would have. If someone went after her after learning that she was the alpha’s mate, who was to say it wouldn’t weaken Kai enough to lose a challenge, his title, and his life?

Isla couldn’t stop herself from trying to dive further into it, piecing together what she could. The former alpha and the heir had just mysteriously died. And now Kai didn’t trust members of his pack?

And even still…how much could she trust him ?

“Don’t ask me any more questions,” Kai said as if he could see the gears in her mind turning. “Right now, you have to just stop being you for a few seconds and trust me.”

“Are you safe?”

Kai let out a chuckle, a light air of disbelief, either for her complete disregard of what he’d said, that she cared, or both. “I can protect myself.”

Isla sighed. She had so many questions…

“ Fine .” She noted how Kai’s face had fallen into a grimace. “That wasn’t that hard, was it?”

“ That wasn’t…isn’t.”

She caught the innuendo and felt another rise of heat. She had to stop her wide eyes from wandering down his body.

“What did you expect talking like that?” Kai mused, noting her bewilderment .

Isla bristled. “I wouldn’t have had to do it if you didn’t make me.”

“Oh, you enjoyed every second of it. Never thought such wicked things could come from such a pretty mouth.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “That’s because you don’t know me very well.”

“A regret I’ll carry, apparently.”

Back to square one again.

Isla rolled her eyes and spun to face the field, moving forward until she was back at the railing. The people below were still at the fire, none the wiser to what was occurring up above. She felt slightly shameful, considering they were down there at the flames, sending prayers up to the Goddess for the safe return of the remaining hunters. She was never necessarily fond of the tradition, meant to mirror the pyres burned for deceased alphas, lunas, heirs, leaders, and warriors. Wolves lost in wars and battles—the fallen.

No one was dead. Not yet. There was no need for the flames.

Isla felt Kai’s presence as he joined her at her side, though he kept his distance. She gave him a sideways glance, feeling the marker of the pass still burning a hole in her pocket.

Bad blood…

“Why is it so horrible for me to become luna?” she asked, surprised by an inkling of hurt that crept into her voice. “ Why the questions and unrest?”

“Politics.” There was disdain in his tone. “Lunas have come from other packs, but you’re the daughter of Io’s Beta and have strong ties to its current and future leaders. There would be questions about whether you could ever fully renounce that pack membership and shift your full interests to Deimos.”

Politics, though ruthless, didn’t sound like deep-seated ancient grudges. But the Trainee had been so confident in his words, in his warning for her to be careful. She touched the marker in her pocket and felt along its ridges.

“So, nothing else? You have no problem with me being from Io?”

“I was two seconds away from claiming you on that terrace before your liaison came out, and while he went on about seating arrangements, all I could think about was if taking you in the restroom after dinner was a horrible way to remember locking our bond. Though, in hindsight, maybe not as horrible as the roof of an infirmary.” He smirked to which she gave a dead stare. “But then I met your friends, your family, and I learned about who you were, what you stood for, what you wanted. I meant everything I said in that garden. I want to do right by you. I want you to have everything you want, that you’ve just earned for yourself.”

That didn’t sound like much of an ancient grudge, either. Not someone to be wary of. It sounded—decent.

Perhaps too decent.

Isla chewed on her bottom lip. “And what if what I had wanted was you?”

“No matter what we decide to do with this bond, it’s ours, not an issue to be dealt with by anyone else. If you wanted me and Deimos, we’d make it work.”

Something else that she hadn’t been expecting. An innocent fluttering began brewing in her stomach. What if she had said yes? How different would things have been right now?

As a thought popped into her head, she couldn’t hold back a sharp laugh.

Kai furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you coming up with another way to seduce information out of me?”

“ No— I just wish I could’ve seen your beta’s face when you told him that the insolent, dim-witted woman is one good screw away from being his superior.”

Kai broke out in a grin, tilting his head, signaling that it was just as amusing as she’d imagined. “He means well.”

“I’m sure he does.”

“He’s protective of our pack and me, and sometimes, he oversteps because of it,” he said. “He was my father’s best friend. He’s known me since I was a pup.”

That made sense. An alpha’s beta was their choice. Typically, it ended up being the alpha’s closest friend, their greatest confidant. Like her father and the Imperial Alpha. And what would likely be Adrien and Sebastian—frightening.

“And that’s why you haven’t replaced him?”

“My father was alpha for almost twenty years, with him as beta. He has experience and connections with the council I can only hope to maintain as well as my brother would have…I’m starting to re gret spending more time avoiding Mavec growing up than being at home in it.”

Isla arched an eyebrow. “I heard Mavec’s beautiful?”

“Beautiful, yes, and incredibly suffocating. Given that I won, the lumerosi ceremony will be held in Deimos. I’d say don’t waste too much time in the capital.”

Isla had nearly forgotten that part, the ceremony being held within the pack of the highest-ranked hunter. That was a hurdle they’d have to tackle once they got there.

Kai continued, “Stay up north in the foothills or head down the river to Abalys, though I wouldn’t advise that part alone. Definitely not alone. I also wouldn’t wear anything too flashy and be ready for a fight. Our people can be…passionate.” He listed the rules with mirth, a reminiscence like he’d done it all before. “And if you end up drinking and playing cards at Talha, stay away from Charley’s table. He’s a cheating bastard, but great if you want a decent war story or need a good laugh.”

Isla hadn’t realized that as he’d gone on his tangent, the grin on her face grew and grew. She’d never expected him to speak so highly of something or to see such a spark in his eye. And from what he was describing, she also became exceedingly curious. These didn’t sound like places fit for an alpha, though Kai spoke of it like home. A reminder that there was so much that she didn’t know about the man who held fragments of her soul, whose soul she held…and would never know.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Isla said, and Kai looked at her, his grin softening. She felt so exposed under his gaze. “What?”

“I wasn’t sure what to expect when I realized my mate was at that dinner, but you definitely weren’t it.”

Isla’s smile faltered, but she masked it with a snicker. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

“You didn’t.”

He said it so sincerely that it scared her.

Kai looked back out at the field, saying nothing more. He only rested his forearms on the railing and alternated his focus between the fire and the sky. For a moment, Isla felt obligated to cut into the silence to ask him what he was still doing there, but then stopped herself. Part of her didn’t want him to go…and she gave into it .

A little more time with this once-in-a-lifetime wouldn’t hurt. Tomorrow it would be over.

So instead, she rested as he’d found her—in her spot, her perfect spot—letting her eyes slide closed, listening to the soft sounds of wind, bugs, fire, and Kai’s soft breathing. She ignored the marker burning a hole in her pocket, the mysteries it held, and the Trainee’s warnings about the man at her side.

And then finally—not just for one second, but several—Isla’s mind found peace.

The mate bond of wolves was something revered.

It was sacred. It was special. It was a foundation of their kind, a fabric in their hallowed Code, and what made them unique from the beings of other continents, other realms. But the ethereal connection was also an onus. It made them weak. It made them vulnerable. One could say it held so much power that it almost negated any notion of free will.

And for that reason, among others, Isla had decided years ago that it wasn’t worth it. She didn’t want it. Especially not after shefinallyfelt like she had some control over her life.

This led to the thing she hated most about the annoyingly handsome and infuriating Alpha of Deimos—for the smallest of moments, he made her question that.

Seconds became minutes, minutes not quite hours, as they remained standing in silence on the roof of Callisto’s infirmary. While Isla was lulled by the murmurs of wind through trees and the hush of breaths, she could feel the tension release from her muscles, webs unweaving from her mind. Occasionally, she’d peek over to watch how the moonlight and faint fire glow danced on Kai’s face, and then she’d hold in her sigh.

Goddess, did she hate Fate.

The peace, their bond was a parasite, latching onto her thoughts and leeching her sense. She was so…tired. Tired of fighting—for now. Tired of the answers that only spurred more questions. If only he was completely irredeemable, enough that she couldn’t even tolerate the sight of him, that would make things easier .

On another scan in his direction, Kai turned, too, like he’d been aware the whole time of her roaming eyes. The corner of his mouth was up in a smirk, and Isla snapped her head forward again, silently cursing. Maybe she should’ve been thankful for it because whatever he was about to say would surely break whatever enchantment of ease she’d been feeling.

“You know,” Kai began. “I’m sure there’s a reporter skulking around somewhere that we can grab a camera from. You can take a picture and leave it by your bed for those lonely nights back in Io when you’re having those dreams of me. Help get you there.”

And she was right.

“You make it so hard to enjoy your company,” Isla sighed. “I’ve surely had my fill and had enough of men like you. Thinking you’re the Goddess’s gift to women. You’re all the same.”

Kai chuckled and turned, leaning back against the railing with folded arms. “According to the Great Book, I’m specifically the Goddess’s gift to you .”

“Open to interpretation.”

“I’m not too sure it is.”

He was right—the language of the Book was explicit when it came to mates—but she wouldn’t endorse it.

A sudden flash of puzzlement crossed his features as he shifted on his feet. Clearing his throat, he asked offhandedly, “Exactly how many men like me have there been?”

Isla’s eyebrows rose at his interest. “Jealous?”

“No.” Kai sustained the air of indifference, shrugging. “Curious. That mouth came from somewhere.”

She couldn’t hold back a wicked grin, ready to go toe-to-toe with him again.

“I think I got it from Levi,” she said, pulling her own facade, once more, of innocence. “He wasn’t my first time , but he was the first guy who ever took me outside of a bedroom. And the first to get me there a couple of times. There was this thing that he did with his—”

“Alright, alright.” Kai’s face was a mix of amusement and slight perturbation. “We’re not doing this again.”

“You started it,” she cooed mockingly. “I can write down how it went for you if you want. You can leave it by your bed for a read during those lonely nights in your palace when you’re dreaming of me. On top, right? That was it? Just put yourself in his place. Should help get you there .”

Kai’s grin, bright and full, and his genuine laugh made her heart skip.

“I don’t live in a palace,” he said before the air seemed to change. His joyous demeanor dissolved gradually.

He drew his eyes over her—in long, slow lines—from her feet to the top of her head, back down, back up. For a moment, Isla swore that he frowned, but it was hard to judge as he recovered quickly.

He lifted himself from his spot. “It’s getting late. We’re departing early, and you should get some rest.”

Isla’s stomach twisted, and she straightened.

Kai took a couple of steps forward, stopping between her and a path to the stairwell door. “Goodnight.”

She blinked up at him. Why did this feel so jarring? This was the plan all along.

“Goodbye,” Isla affirmed gently despite the piece of her clawing its way out, attempting to cry “stay”. “Hunt’s over.”

“It is,” Kai agreed before a flicker of mischief, of defiance, shone in his eyes. He closed in on her again, slowly, and bent so his breath was warm on her ear as he whispered, hot on her cheek, a phantom kiss to her skin. “ Goodnight, Isla. ”

Antagonistic until the end.

Isla inhaled sharply, eyes closing for just a moment, embracing as her heart tightened, as the tether went taut, as if it were a last-ditch effort by that part of them to bring them close, like it knew. It took all her willpower not to lean into it, into him.

“You really like to test limits, huh?” Her whisper caught in the breeze.

“Only with you, my gift. ” His tease caressed the shell of her ear again before he pulled back. “This little game of ours has proven to be a joy that’s been hard to come by lately. I might actually miss it.”

Miss it. Not her. Just their dance around destiny, their defiance of a deity. Their game. That was it.

Thankfully, before any sting could settle upon being relegated to entertainment, an urgent howl rang through the air.