Accidental Fiancé (Unintentionally Yours #5)

25. Maggie

Chapter 25

Maggie

W hat the fuck was that?

He had a crush on me back then and I didn't realize it. Too many thoughts flooded my head before washing out with the tide minutes later, and then they were back, over and over again, like the rhythm of the ocean. I felt like I was going down a spiral staircase in my mind at the same time. My body flashed hot and cold. I called the only person I could think of.

When she answered, she said the last thing I expected. “Quiet down, you filthy pig boy. Hello?”

“Did I interrupt something?”

Nora laughed. “Yes. But when has that ever stopped me?”

“Can you put the filthy pig boy on hold so we can talk? I'm kind of in the middle of a crisis right now.”

“Of course.” She didn't bother to put the phone on mute. Her voice went dark. “You will lay there and think about what you've done. I'll be back when I'm back.” Then I heard the sound of a door closing. “Alright, doll, what can I help you with?”

“Before we get to me, what the hell are you up to?”

“Date night.”

“You're dating men again?”

She sighed. “I'm trying one out. You know they never last. So what is going on? What is this crisis you’re going through?”

“Julian admitted that he had a crush on me in high school, and that's part of why he attacked Grant Worthington.”

“How is this news?”

“You knew ?”

I could practically hear her eyes roll. “My dear, sweet Maggie. What did I say? I told you he had a crush on you. I told you that you had a crush on him. If people would just listen to me.”

“I thought you were just saying that! You make blanket declarations all the time, Nora!”

“And when have I been wrong?”

I hated to admit she had a point. “Okay, if you know everything, then what the hell am I supposed to do with this information?”

“Tell me what he said. How did all of this come out about Grant?”

I explained what Chloe had told me at the spa then what happened after I got back to the mansion. “I'm still not sure what to think. But apparently, he didn't tell me any of this because he thought I would feel guilty. He admitted he attacked him in part because of the crush he had on me.”

“Do you?”

“Do I feel guilty that Grant Worthington finally got his ass kicked and for a good reason? No. Not even a little bit.” Maybe I should have. We were just teenagers back then. But Grant was the one who lied about me and got a man fired because of it.

“What about Chloe? What does she have to say about any of this?”

“Only what I told you. I haven't redressed or gone downstairs yet.”

“Hmm,” she muttered, more to herself than to me. “You mentioned that at the spa, you realized Julian had defended you back then, and then your voice went all soft before you continued. Why?”

My breath got locked in my chest for a blink. “Because when I realized that he did it for me, I… it uncorked something deep. And now I don't know what to do about it.”

“He fought for you and it turned you on,” she replied.

“No. I mean, yes, but no, that's not what got me. It was that he did something to protect me, and he didn't even try to take credit for it. He didn't do it to show off or brag about it later.”

“Most teenage boys would do anything for that kind of street cred, to fluff their feathers to the girl they were trying to defend.”

“Exactly! He did it because it felt like the right thing to do.”

“And because he was overwhelmed by his crush on you.”

I snorted a bitter laugh. “Yeah, that's in there too. He can have more than one reason for it.”

“I’d say most people have more than one reason for anything they do. I suppose the more important question at this point is, where do you go from here? He uncorked something deep, as you put it. You two have been banging your brains out and?—"

“Not that much.”

“Twice since you got there. You've been there twenty-four hours. That's a lot, even for me.”

“Is it?”

“Not really,” she admitted with a laugh. “I was just trying to make you feel better. My point is, obviously things are escalating between the two of you. With your history coming to light, it seems as if things are pointing you down a certain path. But only you can choose to walk down that path.”

Hearing that, I decided to admit it. “I feel like I'm falling in love with him.”

“No. You're not.”

I frowned at my phone. “Pretty sure I'm the one who gets to decide that.”

“Precisely. What I mean is we do not fall in love. We choose to love.”

I had heard Nora talk poetically about the topic for years. She did not believe in falling in love. It wasn't some head-over-heels helpless thing to her. Love was a decision to be made according to her rules.

“I know you have your own rules about love, Nora, but if it is a choice, then why do I feel like I'm falling whenever I see him? Why do I feel less solid and shaky every time he walks into the room? I feel too weak to breathe around him, and my heart pounds like a drum every time I look into his eyes. Tell me that’s not falling in love.”

“That's not falling in love, doll, that's a cardiac condition. Have you been checked out?”

I couldn't help but smile. “You're an idiot.”

“The smartest idiot you know.”

That was probably true. “So what do I do about all of this?”

“You have to figure out what it is you want. Once you figure that out, go to Julian with it. But don't go to him unless you know exactly what it is you want, be honest with yourself and him. Men are not good at helping us figure that out nor are they good at realizing our needs and wants.”

“I know that, that's why I'm talking to you.”

“You think I can help you figure out what you want? Doll, I've got a male senator strapped to my bed with a gag ball in his mouth and a pig mask over his eyes who I had crawling around on all fours an hour ago. I barely enjoyed myself. I don't know what I want. How am I supposed to tell you what you want?”

“Well, crap, that’s not much help. By the way, I did not need that visual.”

“Oh, come on. Sure you did.”

“A senator?”

“What can I say? I like to stay politically active.”

“That tracks. You've always been an avid voter.”

She laughed. “The things he did to my ballot box?—"

“Don't. Just need advice.”

“Oh, come on, he's a senator. You're not at least a little curious?”

“Okay, fine, give me one good detail, and then get back to me, because I really need some help here.”

“Alright, but it's gonna be the filthiest one that we've done so far, and it involves a butt plug with a coiled pigtail on the end of it.” She dove into the details, and even though it wasn’t my scene, I sort of understood the appeal. Kind of.

“…oinking as he finished. Honestly, it's some of my finest work.”

“I didn't realize you had a thing for barns.”

“Variety is the spice of life. Now, back to your problem. Tell Chloe to fuck off and go get your man.”

“He's not mine to get. He took off after we finished. What am I supposed to think about that?”

I heard her fingers snapping for attention. “He's held on to this secret for fifteen years, and he's terrified that he's going to make you feel bad about what he did. Considering what he’s said about the fight, I imagine he's filled with his own guilt about it. Regarding both Grant and you. Since he took off after sex, it’s obviously eating away at him. Don’t overthink it. No thinking, just doing. Go get your man. And if Chloe acts up again, I will drive up there, and kick her ass.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one doing that?”

“Well, yes, in an ideal world. But Doll, you've never stood up to her, not really. So if you need to tag me, please do so. I am feeling froggy, and I'd like to jump.”

“Sounds like you need to deal with Senator Filthy Pig Boy more than Chloe right now.”

She laughed heartily and said, “Whatever it takes to get my stress out. Now, can you handle this, or do I need to come up there?”

I wasn't sure if I could handle it, but I didn't want her to stop what she was doing and come up, even though I knew she would. “You stay put. I'll sort this out. Thanks for letting me interrupt your night.”

“Anytime. You know I've got you.”

“So, which senator is it? The young one or the old one?”

Another laugh. “You know I don't divulge such things. When it comes to celebrities, anyway.”

I knew what that meant. “Bodyguard standing right there?”

“Giving me the evil eye as we speak.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Yeah, you too.”

We hung up and I felt lost, untethered. What the hell was I going to do?