Accidental Fiancé (Unintentionally Yours #5)

30. Julian

Chapter 30

Julian

T he midday sun spilled through the half-open windows, casting a warm glow on the walls, but it did little to ease the tension crackling in the air. I stepped between her and the door. I couldn't just let her walk out of my life. After all we had been through, we were worth more than this. Fighting for her, for us, was the only thing that made any sense.

But as I stood there, she refused to look me in the eye. Her voice wavered when she glanced toward the door behind me. “Julian, I really should go.”

“Please, Maggie, just hear me out.” My heart raced. I hadn't expected the truth to come out. Chloe had millions of dollars on the line, but I guess that was a small price to pay compared to making us suffer. I would get my revenge on Chloe. I just didn’t know how yet.

Right now, the only thing that mattered was Maggie. I needed her to stay. I needed her to be my rock. And more than anything, I needed to make her understand.

The words flowed out of me like a river. “I never pitied you. I loved you back then, and I love you now. I have always loved you. Pity has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It’s not like that for me. I have and will always love you, don't you see that?”

Her eyes widened, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of hope in them. But it quickly faded, and she shook her head as if to clear away the thoughts swirling in her mind. “Julian, you don't understand,” she said, her voice breaking. “Everybody knows the truth now, and that changes things.”

“It changes nothing. You're still you, and I'm still me. I've never had this kind of connection with anyone before, and I know you feel the same. Tell me different, and I’ll walk away.” A pure bluff. How could I ever walk away from this woman again after truly knowing her, her kiss, her touch, the way she tasted? I could never walk away from her now. It would be like walking away from my own heart.

She swallowed. “Feelings don’t matter. Reality matters, and in the real world, we would never work. We both know it. Besides sex, what do we have in common?”

“Shared history, mutual admiration, chemistry, the drive to succeed… do I need to go on?”

“Don’t make this harder on both of us.”

“I’m not! You’re the one making this hard!”

“Then let me make it easy and let me walk out of this room.”

But I couldn’t do that so I changed tactics. I knew it might only gain me a few more seconds with her but I needed them. “Why do you think I pity you, Maggie? I don’t understand.”

“I just explained it to you.”

“How could I pity you?” I went on, irrespective of her thin explanation. “You're strong, you're resilient. You make me feel like I can take on the world. None of that says pity. I don't care about anybody downstairs judging us for what we did. We lied. They’ll get over it. We'll be embarrassed for the week, and then we'll leave and it won't matter because we’ll have a life together. The rest doesn’t matter. Only us.”

She crossed her arms as if trying to shield herself from my words. I could see the struggle in her eyes while fear, confusion, and a deep sadness twisted my heart. I could only assume she felt the same way.

Maggie cleared her throat, shaking her head. “I can’t be the person you need me to be. If you’ve ever pitied me, even just once, I can’t handle that.”

“Why do you keep thinking that I pity you? I've never pitied you.” I tried for earnestness in my tone, but it verged on a desperate growl because I was, in fact, desperate and frustrated. I needed her to understand how I felt, and I wasn’t getting anywhere in showing her the truth that was in my heart. Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.

Silence stretched between us, demanding, suffocating. Tears welled in her eyes, little stars on the verge of falling. I’d make a wish on every one of them if that meant she stayed.

My heart ached for her, for the terrible memories she carried. I thought she might respond. Say anything at all. But she didn't. The silence threatened to ruin everything.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to bridge the gap between us.

“Don't go,” I pleaded, my voice barely above a whisper. “Let's get through this together. Let's be here for each other. We did something stupid, but we did it together. There's no reason to break that streak.”

She didn't say a word, but she also didn't move. It gave me a tiny flicker of hope.

As she continued to refuse to make eye contact and bite her lip, I knew this wasn't going to go how I needed it to. The space between us widened, even though neither of us moved. Every muscle in my body tensed like I was under attack. But there was nothing. Nothing to say, nothing to be done.

It felt over. We both knew it.

But I was stubborn and not used to not getting my way.

“Maggie…” I reached out, brushing my thumb against her cheek. The softness of her skin sent a jolt through me. How could this be over? It made no sense. I stumbled over my words. “All of this, it'll fade away. Let's watch it fade away together.”

And then she broke. A single tear escaped and slid down her cheek. It ruined what little pride I had left.

I couldn't help but lean in, pressing my lips against the trail of her sorrow. It was a gentle kiss, an unspoken promise that I would be there for her. No matter what came of today, I would be there. She had me wrapped around her little finger, and she didn’t even know it.

She trembled at my touch, and as I kissed her tears away, the world outside faded to black. It was just us, our past, our present, and the electric connection that pulsed between us. I kissed my way to her lips.

But before I got there, she whispered, “Jules, I can't.”

I pressed my forehead against hers, breathing in her scent, her heat. I needed all of it, all of her. Even if only one more breath. One more hit of this drug I’d so willingly given myself over to. “Just stay with me a little while longer.” I was sure she could hear my heart drumming in my chest. “Please, Maggie.”

That was the encouragement she needed. She surged forward, and our lips met again, more fervently this time. It was as if the walls that had kept us apart crumbled, leaving nothing but the raw, unfiltered passion we'd held back for so long. Her hands wove into my hair as I pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, pouring everything I felt into that moment. I lost myself in the taste of her, the sweetness, the hint of salt from her tears.

But just as quickly as it had begun, the moment seemed to dissolve.

Maggie pulled back, her breath shaky as she looked into my eyes, searching for something she couldn't seem to find. I felt a chill sweep through me, a sense of impending loss. I knew it was done. Coldness washed over me, leaving a trail of agony in its wake.

“I can't do this,” she said. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“You're not hurting me if you stay,” I replied, pathetically needy. I had run out of things to say and ways to convince her. If that kiss couldn't do it, and if my words couldn’t do it, then I didn't know what could. I tried one more time. “We made some bad choices, but we can figure this out together. My family will get over it.”

But she shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks now. “And what about me, Jules? Do you think this is something I can just get over? Once again, Chloe beat me. Humiliated me. She came out on top like always. I'm just a joke to her and to your family. To you, I'm simply a weak and helpless?—"

“Don't put those words in my mouth. Not ever.”

She began to say something else but stopped herself. She stepped to the side to move around me. A struggle bared down on her face—some inner war I wasn't privy to. After a shuddering breath, she said, “I'm sorry.”

I grabbed her wrist gently. “Don’t go. Please.”

She looked down at my hand on her wrist, and for a heartbeat, I thought she might stay. But then she pulled away, breaking free of my grasp. “No.”

A single word that brought my whole world crashing down.

But I wasn't completely without pride. Close to it, but I was still a man, dammit. I swallowed against the knot in my throat, determined to force my needs down for her. “Do you want me to go downstairs with you? Play defense against Chloe? I'll stop her from bothering you on the way out.”

Something about what I had said sharpened her resolve. If looks could kill, I would have been dead on the spot. Maggie uttered, “You just have to play the big strong hero one more time, huh?”

“God, Maggie, it's not like that, and you know it.”

Her voice went flat. “I don't know anything anymore.”

I knew there was nothing else I could say or do. Preventing her from leaving felt cruel to both of us, and it wasn’t what she wanted. I didn’t want to keep her if she didn’t want to be kept.

So, I stepped aside. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. But if she wanted to do this without me, then I wasn’t going to stop her.

She opened the door and slipped through it, leaving me hollow and heartbroken. I leaned against the wall, the silence of my childhood room pressing in on me like a weight. I had poured my entire heart out yet I still lost her.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Not when I could still feel the taste of her on my lips, the salt of her tears lingering in my mouth, and the ache in my chest where hope had once lived. Her scent lingered in the air like a ghost.

I had fought for her, for us. But sometimes love wasn't enough to hold on to someone when they were determined to leave. I learned that in my first marriage. Britney had made it clear that what I wanted didn’t matter when she had an affair with an old business partner. After she left me for him, it hurt, but it was nothing like this, nothing like what I felt for Maggie.

It wasn't real love.

I sank down on the edge of my bed, the world outside continuing to turn without me as I grappled with the realization that it was over.