Accidentally Under Your Tree (Grand Ridge Christmas #1)

7. Lizzy

Lizzy

Seven nights before Christmas

I had never been so bold.

I pressed my palm to Will's. It was just as strong and rough as I'd imagined. I'd started the descent into the space between our mouths. I did that.

Goddamn, boldness was paying off.

Will kissed like my mouth was his last meal, and he needed to savor every taste and texture. Like I was sacred. Invaluable.

It was heady. Drifting on the current of sensations—the ache throbbing between my legs, the heat of his other hand drifting from my back to my hip—my mind blissfully empty. There weren't any self-judgments. They'd evaporated to make room for the bombardment of desire.

Had I ever wanted anything this badly? I didn't know whether to curse this bar for being public or thank it. If we were alone, I would have climbed on his lap by now. Where would his hands go if I straddled him? His mouth?

Then he groaned deep in his throat, and his thumb ran along the tender flesh over my pulse, and I cursed this public place. Fuck this bar. Fuck polite society. I wanted to wrap my naked body around his. If I could will my clothes to disappear, they'd be gone.

If I had magical powers, he wouldn't even own clothes.

I snorted, instantly changing the mood.

He went from inviting ease to stiff backed, and still, all firm muscle—impressively firm…

"That wasn't at you," I whispered.

"It's okay." He pulled back, his green eyes searching mine. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" I practically screamed three inches from his face. "My God, I didn't mean to yell at you."

One corner of his lips curved up.

I probably should have taken as a sign to relax, but the flutters in my stomach were sharp-edged and there were too many of them. "I thought something funny, and I laughed. But it's not like I meant to laugh. I wasn't laughing at you. I just…laughed."

Crinkles deepened at the corners of his eyes. And thank God he was so pretty. He took the words out of my mouth, when clearly nothing else could have made me stop yapping.

"As long as you're good, I'm good." His words rumbled at the back of his throat. They climbed up my spine.

"You're very good."

Oh my God, woman. Could you pretend you've kissed a man before?

I stood too fast. My face was too hot. I'd been lulled into an unusual state of comfort, and this was the inevitable consequence. People didn't generally like me right away. It took months, sometimes years, for me to let people see me. It was a lesson learned either from my natural introverted nature and anxiety, or because of the loss of the friendship I'd had with my twin sister. A loss that had shaken the very core of me. It'd been eight years, and I was still figuring out who I was if I wasn't someone she loved anymore.

But somehow Will had turned the dial down on the noise in my head. The voice saying, "That was a weird thing to do with your hands." Just one faux pas on my part and the voice blasted full volume in my mind.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I'm going to go to my room." Then I wondered if that sounded like an invitation, so I added, "Alone."

Eyebrows raised, he blinked.

I couldn't even blame him. He was normal—better than normal. He was like the whisperer of skittish women, or at least, woman. I was the one freaking out.

"Sorry," I whispered. Embarrassingly, my eyes stung.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You don't owe me anything."

"God… please don't be nice."

"I'm not."

I rolled my eyes, and I almost wanted to smile.

"I'm not," he repeated. "I promise."

"Then what are you doing?"

"The bare minimum." He nudged the toe of my boot with his. "It's okay to change your mind."

I pinched my lips together, disappointment a heavy ball in my gut. I hadn't changed my mind. My mind wanted…all of it. Anything Will would give me—a second date, more of that kiss, a tour of his hotel room and naked body.

He tipped back the last of his beer, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Setting his empty bottle down, he said, "I have an early day tomorrow. I should head up too."

"Excuse me," he called to the bartender. "Will you charge this to room 1008?"

She nodded and waved.

"You don't have to pay for my drinks." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Seems like the right thing to do on a first date." He grinned in that unarming way of his. "I'll walk you to the elevators."

He still seemed interested in me, despite my sporadic behavior. I could turn this around.

Be bold , I insisted in my mind. But I'd used up my lifetime supply on one perfect kiss.

William

Six nights before Christmas

Fifty-Five minutes before the bar

I had excused myself to the bathroom fifteen minutes ago. The water I'd splashed dripped from my chin. In the mirror, a face displaying a disturbing combination of horror and disbelief stared back at me. My eyes were too wide, and I couldn't convince my mouth to close.

My blood pressure ratcheted up to the extreme. So much so that just the back door closing startled me.

"This is unbelievable," I kept hissing at my reflection, as if repeating it would make it less true.

I jumped again at a tap on the bathroom door.

"Bill, you good?" Rose asked, her voice muffled by the wooden barrier between us.

I sucked a deep breath in through my nose, scrunching my eyes shut. There was no avoiding this. I had to tell her.

" Fuck ," I mouthed.

Opening the door, I pulled her in the room with me.

"You need to come out of the bathroom. It's been a weird amount of time," she said, pressing her back to the floral-patterned wallpaper across from the sink.

I scratched at my eyebrow, then ran my hand down my face. Was there a combination of words that could make this less terrible?

I groaned. "You're gonna kill me."

"Why?"

"It's not safe to tell you, because you're gonna kill me."

Rose snorted and rolled her eyes. A behavior so much like Lizzy, I couldn't believe I didn't notice it last night. But the message in the gesture differed between the two of them. Rose's eye roll said, You're being annoying , while Lizzy's said, I haven't decided if you're worth my time.

Which was my catnip and downfall.

Rose was going to kill me.

"Stop being dramatic and just tell me,” she said.

The lip of the counter pressed into my hip. I scraped my palm across my lips, shaking my head.

She considered me out of the corner of her eye. "Okay, you're actually scaring me at this point."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into my hand. Sighing, I repeated, "I'm really sorry."

I needed to just say it. "I met Lizzy last night."

"Lizzy?"

"Anne."

"My sister?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Where?"

"At the hotel bar."

Rose opened and closed her mouth a few times.

When she finally spoke, there was a threatening edge to her voice. "What do you mean, you met her?"

My shoulders hunched, my eyes cast down to the tile floors. "It's as bad as it could be."

In the heavy silence, I forced myself to look at her face. Her cheeks were pink and there was an angry line between her eyebrows.

After a few breaths, she shook her head. "Anne?"

I nodded. "Lizzy."

"I didn't know she had it in her."

"Oh, she had it in her."

Rose lifted the flat of her hand and swung. It smacked against my upper arm. The slap was louder than the sting of contact, but I flinched away.

"Don't be a shithead!" she hiss-whispered, as I whispered back, "Not like that, I didn't mean it like that!"

"How the hell did you mean it?!"

" I wasn't the ' it —'"

"—Ew," she interrupted.

"—I meant that…you know…we were both… interested ."

"Ew."

"Sorry."

"I'm going to kill you."

"I know."

After Rose and I shoveled piping hot Shepherd's Pie into our faces, she declared, "We're heading out."

Kelly and Jim shared confused expressions.

"I thought you wanted to stay in," Kelly said. "Relax."

Rose shot me the briefest glare, then forced a smile. "I thought so too. But uh… I really want to show Bill around."

"Okay." Kelly shrugged.

Hustling out the garage door connected to the kitchen felt disrespectful, not just to Kelly and Jim, but to the Shepherd's pie. It was a shame that my taste buds weren't working. Maybe tomorrow I could have leftovers and actually enjoy them. If Rose and Lizzy didn't ship me off in the dark of night like some fugitive.

But necessity justified the quick departure. Rose and I needed to find Lizzy. If I were her, I'd feel used…and gross.

I felt like a shit.

"Text her," Rose directed, sliding into the driver's seat of our rental.

"And say what?" I lifted my hips to pull my phone out of my back pocket.

"I don't know…"

While Rose executed a three-point turn as if we'd stolen the car, I glared at my phone and settled on, Please let me explain .

When there wasn't a response, I sent additional texts attempting to explain. It wasn't surprising that they all went unanswered.

"Has she responded to you?" I asked.

Rose turned from her parent's street onto the main road into town. The glow of streetlights a mile away was bright against the dark winter sky. "I haven't texted."

She was sensitive about her sister, so much so that I didn't know the full story of what happened between them. The few times that I'd asked a probing question, Rose had tossed a flippant remark and blown me off. It wasn't the only subject she didn't want to talk about. It was clear that it hurt her more than she was letting on.

I hesitated before asking, "Do you have her number?"

Biting her thumbnail, she scowled at the road. "Of course. You know, in case of an emergency with Mom or Dad.”

The click of the blinker banged through the car like a gavel. She took a right to head away from town.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"She'll be a Shay's."

A few minutes later we parked in the driveway of a simple farmhouse that even in the dark, I could see improvements—newer siding, fresh front porch, updated windows. Details that I noticed subconsciously because of the work Rose and I did.

Lights floated out of the first-floor windows, but I didn't see any movement. We both sat still. Rose's tension mixed with mine.

I shoved my hand through my hair. "You okay?"

She sucked in a breath and held it before blowing it out in a whoosh. "I…I just need to talk to her."

The hinges creaked as Rose pushed the car door open. She was halfway up the walk before I'd even gotten out of my seat. Now that her decision was made, there was no slowing her down. She'd have this talk done and under control. She wouldn't stop pushing and pulling until the situation succumbed to her will.

It was her way.

Her tenacity was truly a beautiful thing, but it could make for certain challenges. Seeing the parts of her personality that fit into place with Lizzy completed a picture I'd only seen half of.

Rose banged four times on the big wooden front door as I bounded up the porch steps. The drone of a grinder went quiet and then heavy steps neared.

Her face went slack and stricken. "Oh, shit."

"What?" I demanded, wondering how anything could get worse.

The door swung open and a tall man in a baseball cap, safety glasses, and a dirty T-shirt stood on the other side.

His eyes widened, and he fell back on his heels as if pushed. "Rosie," he breathed.

Rose's face had gone suspiciously blank, and her voice came out flat. "What are you doing here?"

The smell of sawdust and power tools wafted out with the heat. I peered around him, but instead of seeing signs of Lizzy, there were only a tarp and clip lights hanging around the fireplace.

He lounged against the doorframe. "Workin'. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for Shay and Anne. Are they here?"

"Been a while since you came looking for them." He lifted the neck of his shirt to wipe sweat from his brow. I didn't miss the way Rose's eyes dropped to the skin that showed under the lifted hem. I didn't think he missed it either.

"Sure." A blush warmed her cheeks. "Are they here?"

He shook his head. Extending his hand to me, he said, "Hey man, I'm Lawrence. You must be…Bill?"

I took his hand. "Yeah…"

"Jim told me you were here for the holidays."

"Lawrence works for my dad," she explained. "So, they're not here."

"No."

"'Kay." She turned on her heels and started back toward the car.

He and I shared an awkward wave goodbye. I jogged with my hands in the pockets of my leather coat to the car. Rose had both hands on the steering wheel, her seat belt already buckled, by the time I closed my door.

"So that's the ex-boyfriend?" I asked.

"Yup." She nodded at the now vacant front porch.

We were in a terrible fake relationship .

Lizzy

Six nights before Christmas

Twelve minutes after Shay's front porch.

"Rosie!" I heard Ben greeting my sister as if my head were underwater. Blood rushed in my ears. My arms and legs grew cold and sluggish as my lungs filled with hot air and my cheeks burned.

There was a back door. It was in sight. I could dash for it.

I wasn't ready to tell Rose. Not here. Not among all these people to see us, and whisper about us around town. She'd hate that.

I'd hate that.

"Hey Benji," she chirped back, her voice close to the booth. I expected her to go to the bar or to an empty table, but she slid into the seat next to me. "Can you bring a fresh round for Anne and Shay, and whatever light beer you have on tap for us?"

I'd already stopped breathing the second Rose's hip bumped mine, demanding more space without saying a word. Making room for her was second nature—a behavior I'd done since in utero. But all my bodily functions failed, my heart stopped, and my brain sputtered to a halt when a hand gripped the corner of our backrest by Rose's shoulder.

It only made sense that Will, of the beautiful hands and philandering bullshit, would be with her, but I was not ready.

"Breathe, Anne," she commanded. A thud sounded under the table, and Shay winced. "Fix your face, Shay. We aren't killing him tonight."

I didn't know what to make of Rose's calm, commanding demeanor. Her sitting next to me, talking to me…it was something I'd wanted for so long that I'd stopped acknowledging the ache of her distance. Now that she was here, I was even more confused. It didn't make sense that she'd know about me and Will.

Cheating boyfriends rarely admitted to their girlfriends, right?

How could she know when I still hadn't told her?

"Night's still young," Shay hissed, glaring at Will. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Instead, I focused on the gleaming grain of the tabletop.

"Everyone, calm down—" Rose started.

As I said, "I have to tell you—"

"—No, you don't," she interrupted. "Bill already did. It's okay."

Shay crossed her arms on the table. "What exactly did he tell you?"

"He told me about last night."

Tears stung my eyes. I blinked down at my lap, willing them to go away.

Mimicking her body language, Rose leaned on the tabletop too. "I really need you to bring your over protectiveness down a notch, okay?"

Balancing all four drinks in his hands, Ben stopped next to where Will stood. He pretended not to notice the weird tension in our group. I was sure he did, though. That was why everyone came to Benji's, because he and his waitstaff acted as if they were oblivious to local drama.

He distributed the drinks before he and Rose hugged. "Good to see ya."

"You too. The bar looks great," she offered.

"Thank you. It's a work in progress, but it keeps getting a little better every year." Turning his attention, he held out his hand. "You're Bill."

"Sometimes he goes by Will ." Shay said his name like a dirty word, dripping venom, drawing it out into two syllables.

Ben's eyebrow twitched before he pretended as if she hadn't spoken. "I've watched some of your videos. You two are cute together."

The knife in my gut twisted. I would have known who Will was if I paid attention to my sister's Internet presence. But a para-social relationship was salt in the wound. I'd learned years ago that it was better for my mental state to not seek her out. Not to google her or scroll through her social media profiles. It hurt too much.

That really backfired.

I couldn't keep track of time or follow the conversation over the buzzing in my ears, but it didn’t seem like Ben stuck around for long.

When he walked away, Rose put a hand on my wrist. I forced myself to meet her eyes.

"Bill and I aren't actually dating," she whispered.

Wrinkles crossed Shay's forehead. But Rose’s shoulders remained confidently set. Against my better judgement, my eyes landed on Will's face and found his mossy green gaze fixed on me with concern and apology fitted into their softened corners. My heart ached, forcing me to look away.

Rose continued in a lowered voice. She explained about an agent shopping their YouTube channel to streaming services, and her and Will's attempt to appear more desirable by giving their audience the relationship they'd always wanted to see.

"It officially started this morning," she explained. Will winced at her emphasis on the word 'officially'.

"It's not real." She turned in her seat, giving me all her attention. "Everything is okay."

"How long are you two going to do this?" Shay asked.

"I don't know." Rose looked up at Will, but I still hadn't processed the information well enough to venture a second look in his direction. "We were thinking either a week or two before or after Valentine's."

Shay leaned in closer. "That doesn't make any sense. If a streaming service picks up your show because you're pretending to be in this cute little relationship—"

"Not because of the relationship. Because of the hype. A breakup is also hypey."

"Unless the breakup makes your audience turn on you."

"They won't do that."

Shay raised a skeptical brow.

"You can't tell anyone, Shay."

"Anyone? Or just Lawrence?"

Rose's lips pressed into a tight line. " Anyone ."

"Lizzy." Will's voice broke through the noise of the bar and the ringing in my ears.

Like a moth to a flame, my eyes found his. His lips set in a stern line. His focus pinned me to the booth. I could practically feel the weight of his body on mine. The clean scent of his soap mixing with the sharp smell of our sweat. On my upper thigh, my skin tingled at the bruises his fingers had left.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"If you did nothing wrong, why are you apologizing?" Shay challenged.

For just a moment, he looked at her, and I missed the pressure of his eyes. I was such a fool for wanting his attention, but I did. This was messier than meeting a man in a bar. This was messier than a one-night stand. This would only get messier by me wanting him.

"I made her feel fucking terrible." His eyes found me once more, tugging me toward him all over again. "I'm sorry."

The tight string bound around my chest loosened. A little consolation prize that at least I hadn't read him wrong.

I jerked my head toward Shay. "Can he sit with you?"

She heaved a tremendous sigh, then scooted further into her booth.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

He assessed my smeared mascara and pink nose. A muscle flexed in his jaw, and I could read his regret in the set of his brows.

Jerking his chin toward the drink in front of me, he said, “That’s not a vodka cranberry.”

“Last night might have ruined them for me.”

I smirked down at the table. “Maybe I’ll only drink them during power outages.”

The corners of his mouth twitched up.

It took a few moments for me to notice Shay and Rose glancing between us, followed by Shay pursing her lips.

Messy , a little voice in my head urged. Even as I relaxed my guard a further.

"So, how did you find us, anyway?" Shay asked.

If I hadn't been sitting so close to Rose, I might have missed the way she tensed. Her voice remained deceptively calm. "We went to your house first."

Shay's lip curled, and I imagined she was fed up with all of us. "You saw Lawrence?"

"Yes, I saw him." Rose looked down at her white, sparkly painted nails. "Don't worry, he's still in one piece."

Just under her breath, Shay mumbled, "I doubt it."

Will sent me a questioning look that flipped my stomach upside down. He took my shrug for an answer.

In unison, the four of us lifted our beverages and swallowed long drinks.