Accidentally Under Your Tree (Grand Ridge Christmas #1)

4.Will

Four nights before Christmas

Lizzy looked thoroughly kissed, with her hair wild around her shoulders from my grip buried in the strands. We were breathing like we'd done thirty minutes of cardio. If whoever was moving above us in the hallway came downstairs, they'd know what she and I were up to.

It'd help if I peeled myself off her. But she felt too good. Soft. Full.

Unconsciously, I rocked my hips from side-to-side. My throbbing cock pressed against her was torture and relief all at the same time.

I gritted my teeth, fighting back a groan.

A whine escaped from her.

I shushed, but it would have been more convincing if we weren't silently laughing.

She tickled my ear, whispering, "That was your fault."

"I know."

She lifted her hips, and my eyes closed from the bliss of her heat through the thin fabric of our pants. The only sound was the rustle of our clothes as we held our breaths. I pressed a kiss to the pulse in her throat. It thrummed quick and urgent.

Overhead, the creaking of footsteps retreated before going silent.

I supported my weight on my elbow to look down at her. Her features cast in a multicolored glow from the twinkle lights on the miniature Christmas tree at the other end of the room. She'd been adorned in shadows since the first night I'd met her. A gentle drape of light on her eyelashes and cheeks. Round brown eyes that saw every detail, assessing everything.

She took me in now, a quirk to her lips. "What are you thinking?"

"You can't tell?"

Shaking her head, a smile spread across her face. "How could I?"

"I just figured it was written all over my face."

"What?"

"I like you so much."

She hid her face, pressing it to my chest. "I like you too."

My heart was going to break free from my ribs. It pulled to hers. Lowering, I rested it against the swell of her breasts. It wasn't close enough.

She peered up at me, her eyes darting between mine. "I've never had sex in this house."

I lifted an eyebrow. "No time like the present."

Her head fell back, silent laughter shaking her body. I caught a groan in the back of my throat. Just looking at her—the exposed skin of her neck, her hair swaying toward the floor, the bounce of her tits—was enough to make my cock twitch.

I urged her mouth to mine.

Red wine clung to her lips. I was drunk on the taste of it, of her. Her tongue slipped along mine. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pressing us tighter together. Her legs hooked around my hips, and I ground my aching erection against her.

In the silence, I noticed every shiver that ran through her body. Her gasp as I trailed kisses and little bites down her throat. The arch of her back when I snaked my free hand up her sweatshirt, cupping her breast over her bra. Her nipple puckered in my palm. She overfilled my grip—the heavy flesh spilling between my fingers. She was more than I could hold. And I had big hands.

"I want you," I whispered into the hot skin just above her heart.

"Yes," she moaned.

Sighing, I wished I'd thought this through. Story of my goddamn life. "I don't have a condom."

"I might."

My head jerked up. "Down here?"

Her teeth pressed into her lower lip.

"In my laptop bag." It was hard to tell in the dark, but there might have been a blush coloring her cheeks. She lifted one shoulder. "Can never be too prepared."

A smile spread on my face. "Never change."

She snorted.

I shushed. I was tumbling into emotions too big to whisper, with nothing to break my fall.

I pushed back to kneel. Lizzy's legs held tight, pulling her with me. She looked so good there. Disheveled and lustful. Her thick thighs spread. I ran my hands up them, squeezing into their softness. My needs conflicting my actions. Untangling from her was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was the only way to reach for the bag leaning against the coffee table.

The bag rustled, the metal jingling, when I picked it up and put it within her reach. With silent, deliberate movements, she lowered to the carpeted floor. Bending over the bag, put her perfect ass up for my appreciation. I didn't even question running my palm from one round cheek across to the other. She arched into my touch.

I took hold of the spandex clinging to her waist. Tugging it down, I exposed inch after inch of her skin.

Flipping her hair, she directed, "Only take them off one leg. In case we have to get dressed fast."

I was no better than a deranged Neanderthal because I hadn't even considered a strategy for putting clothes back on. How could I when her ass was bare? The waistband of her leggings rolled to her mid-thigh.

She wasn't wearing any underwear.

I slipped my fingers between her thighs, and I slid my middle finger inside of her. Her ribs expanded. She'd stopped looking in pockets of the bag, instead she fucked back into my hand.

"Did you find that condom?" I placed the pad of my thumb at the entrance of her ass. Precum darkened my sweatpants.

"I can't—your hand—I can't," she whimpered.

Although I loved her speechless at my touch, I ached to feel her stretched around my cock.

I pulled my hand from her heat. The sofa creaked as I sat back. I ran my hand down my face, smelling her on my fingers. My groan came out as a sigh. Wanting her was past urgent—she'd been edging me for days.

Turning, she held up a square foil. "Got it!"

"I need you." I wondered if she understood all the ways those three words were true. Before her, I didn't know what I was missing. But I did now. "Come here."

She crawled the few feet to kneel between my knees. I lifted my hips for her to lower my pants below my erection. It sprung free before settling curved toward my stomach. She moistened her bottom lip, and my balls tightened.

I hooked a finger under her chin. My heart paused, then pounded as she lifted her face. She was so beautiful. Everything fell away except for her. The ridge of her upper lip, and her eyelashes lining the loveliest eyes I'd ever seen.

I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't string my thoughts together.

I swiped my thumb along her cheek. "Just come here."

She swallowed and stood. I placed kisses on her hips and thighs as I helped her free one of her legs. With both of her hands braced on my shoulders, I read her grip like Morse code. Each little flinch told me where to kiss her next. Her hold tightened as I trailed down the crease of her pelvis until I could part her lips with my tongue and taste her arousal.

I urged her closer, putting more pressure on her clit. She cut off the moan that slipped from her mouth. It was what we'd agreed, but I missed hearing her. Since we couldn't, I'd make do with all the other ways we communicated. Like the way she rocked her hips when I slid two fingers inside of her again.

She squeezed tighter and tighter.

Lost in the taste of her, the feel of her hot and wet, it took me a moment to hear her gasping my name.

"Not like this," she whispered when I leaned back. "I want you inside me."

I licked her from my lips and ran a hand through my hair. A fog coated the layers of my mind, making everything but her incoherent. She was my entire perception. My world began and ended with her.

She rolled the condom down my shaft, and I bit the inside of my cheeks from the pressure. Straddling my thighs, she placed my tip at her entrance, then lowered slowly surrounding me. Her head fell back when she'd seated me inside of her. Before she could lift, I put my arms around her hips and pressed her lower, filling her until I felt her limit.

Her mouth fell open, but no sound came out.

I buried my face in her hair. "Is that too deep?" I whispered, rough as gravel.

She shook her head. A quiet, shuttered, "No. It's good. Really good."

Around my cock, she grew tighter. Gripping her hips for dear life, I urged her to take slow, deep strokes. I held on to my control with everything I had. The clench of my teeth. The bunch of my shoulders. My tenuous grasp on reality.

She held her breath. Her pussy squeezed. Tears clung to her eyelashes.

Cupping the back of her neck, I pulled her forehead to mine.

We moved together, our eyes locked. Nothing but the pounding of our hearts and our bodies urging for more. For everything.

By some miracle, she came first. Her core flexed and spasmed around my cock, and she shivered. She closed her eyes, twin tears traveled down her cheeks.

I followed, biting down on her sweatshirt to keep from making any sound. A shiver ran up my spine. Behind my eyelids, I saw lights dance and my head went light and empty.

It took a few moments to catch my breath.

She turned my face to kiss me. A tender press of her lips to mine. There was nothing but her and me. We were everything. And it was enough.

I knew this moment couldn't last forever. But I wanted it to.

Will

Three nights before Christmas

"Olivia is in town today. Is it cool if I spend some time with her?"

It took me a moment to realize Rose was speaking to me. I was too busy remembering Lizzy straddling my lap. Sinking down, taking me inside of her the night before to register much of anything else.

"My friend Olivia," Rose said. "She's in town for Christmas and I'd like to spend time with her. Will you be able to figure out something else to do today?"

The morning sun burned warm through the bay window at our backs. Her mom was typing loudly on her keyboard in the adjoining office. Somewhere in the house, Lizzy was working as well. I couldn't think of a good enough excuse to find her. I just wanted to be in the same room.

"Yeah, of course. Who is she again?" I tapped my fingers on the velvet sofa arm.

"The one with the shitty fiancé."

"Ah, right." I recalled Rose complaining about her friend's engagement to a total asshole, but I wouldn't have recalled the person's name.

"Is he shitty?" Kelly asked over her persistent clicking.

"The worst."

"In what way?"

Rose arched an eyebrow. "Um…she doesn't say anything. You know how she is. But the only good thing I can say about him is he's gainfully employed, and hot."

"Well, that's sad. After everything she's been through…"

Rose nodded, even though her mom couldn't see her. "Is it okay if I take the car?"

"Sure," I agreed. "I'll find something to do."

Fifteen minutes later, Rose and I exchanged an awkward hug after she went to kiss me on the cheek, and I went for her forehead. Giving up on salvaging the goodbye, she exited out the side door. The engine of the rental car came to life, and Kelly called from the office, "Will can you do me a favor?"

My stomach dropped, overwhelmed by a paranoid fear that her next words were going to be along the lines, "Can you not fuck around with my daughter in the basement?"

Forcing my expression calm, I leaned against the doorjamb. "What's up?"

She grinned at me like the cat who ate the canary. "You get along really well with Lizzy."

Cold sweat prickled across my skin.

"I've noticed," she went on more stiltedly, "that you're helping the girls…reconnect."

"I don't know how much I play into that."

"I don't either, but I'm happy to see it, anyway."

I curled and uncurled my toes inside my comfortable socks. "So, what can I help you with?"

"I want you to take Lizzy shopping for a gift for Rose. She usually gets store credit somewhere, but it'd be nice if she got her something more personal. She just might not know what to get her, but you probably would."

"Uh, I'm not great at gifts, but I can try." Anxiety still twisted my gut, but relief was slowly untying the tension.

And that was the Christmas miracle that put me sitting in the passenger seat as Lizzy drove to a nearby mall—at her mom's request. Lizzy tapped the steering wheel, silencing the stereo as soon as the first note of a song began to play.

The waves of her ponytail swung as she looked both ways before pulling out of her driveway, and I remembered burying my fingers in the strands as I slipped inside of her.

I sucked in a sharp breath, the memory sparking echoing sensations through my body.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Mm-hm." I cut my eyes her way.

A devious grin split across her face, understanding the directions of my mind. "Oh, yeah. You're fine."

"What have you done to me?"

"Nothing you didn't deserve."

"We need to change the subject, or we're going to have to find somewhere to pull over."

"I didn't debauch you enough last night?" she purred.

"I'll never get enough of you."

Pink rose up her neck and filled her cheeks. Her lips pursed, struggling against a smile. She had a way of pulling at the strings of my heart, made it swell too big for my chest. It thudded against my ribs. I rubbed the heel of my hand into its persistent beat, but it wouldn't calm.

I jerked my chin toward the silent radio. "What were you listening to?"

She chewed her bottom lip. "Miley Cyrus."

"Why'd you turn it off?"

Wrinkles creased her forehead. "Um…I guess because my ex hated my music. So, I turned it off on reflex."

"I don't mind. Party in the USA is one of my go-to karaoke songs."

She snorted. "Of course."

"What? I listen to Miley?"

"Karaoke. Nightmare."

"To sing or just be there at all?"

"All the above."

"Would you just go and hangout with me?"

"Do you really like it?"

I shrugged. "I have a lot of fun."

She chewed her full lower lip. "I'd go. But only if you promise not to dedicate a song to me."

"I promise not to tell other people that I'm dedicating a song to you. But you'll know."

The smile she'd been fighting won out. "Fine."

It felt like more than a compromise about something pithy. It felt like common ground. It felt like there was space where I could be outgoing and ridiculous, and she could be prickly and quiet. There was room for both of us.

"We got all the way here, and I still don't know where to begin." Lizzy's voice echoed a bit in the mall's interior hallway, over the Christmas music.

"Gift shopping is like that, isn't it?" Jerking my head toward a bookstore, I grabbed her hand. "Let's just look around."

She trailed behind me through the open doors. The smell of coffee and baking cookies wafted in the air from the cafe to our right. Bookshelves covered the bulk of the floor space, but the music and game department were decent.

Lizzy paused to flip through a planner decorated in pastel colors and soft lines.

"Need a new planner?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, I keep everything electronically. It's just pretty."

"Do you want it?"

"There's no point." She closed the cover and ran her hand over it. "I'd just own it to own it. I don't actually have a use for it."

I tilted my head, trying to get a better look at her face, to make sure I wasn't imagining the wistfulness in her voice. "Does everything have to have a purpose?"

"No, but planners should, I guess." She looked over her shoulder at the stacks of books. "Does she read much anymore?"

I allowed the change of subject. Shaking my head, I tried to remember if I'd ever seen Rose with a book in her hand. "I wouldn't say so."

"Hm, she used to."

"Do you read a lot?"

"As much as I can." There was a tone to her voice that brought me to a stop—a deep emotion barely restrained.

I turned to face her. She'd drawn in on herself going too still, just like she did that first night I met her. When she'd been nervous and without control. I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, wrapping my other arm around her waist. Giving her whatever comfort I could. "You should get her the last book you liked."

Her lower lip slipped from between her teeth. "I don't know. Do you think she'd like it? Doesn't that seem like a, I didn't know what to get you, gift?"

"It seems like a way for her to get to know you again."

She looked more unsure than I'd ever seen her. Leaning forward, she rested her head on my chest, tucked perfectly under my chin. After a few breaths, she said in an unwavering voice. "I miss her."

Her temple was warm under my lips. "She misses you, too."

Just a few more beats passed before Lizzy straightened. "We should probably be more careful."

I wanted to pull her tight again, to tell her I didn't care. But my choices affected Rose too. I should have been more aware of my actions. I felt small, letting them both down in so many ways.

We should come clean . The thought sparked in my mind like the flip of a switch. The show and the fans be damned. But it wasn't a decision I could make on my own. Maybe Rose would at least consider telling her parents. It'd help to stop lying to them.

To be absolutely truthful with myself. With Lizzy.

Lizzy

Three nights before Christmas

Will and I arrived home from shopping just before Rose. I hurried to my bedroom to stuff my bags into the closet. As soon as she stepped through the garaged door, she began flitting around the kitchen.

"I found this recipe for a Christmas sangria. I'm gonna throw it together. You want some?" she offered her voice muffled from the other side of my wall.

"Should we get ready for the thing at the school?" Will asked.

"We have time. I could use a drink."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She called out, "Anne, you want a glass?"

A smile split across my face. The delight of being included by her was still very real. I didn't have to tamper it when no one could see me. "Yes, please."

I stepped into the hallway to find Rose bright faced and energetic, a little frantic.

Will and I hovered around the kitchen island while Rose poured ingredients into a pitcher. He rubbed circles on my back, and I closed my eyes, savoring his touch, even if my parents could walk into the room at any moment. I wanted to live in the bubble where it was okay for us to be affectionate for a while longer.

After pouring three champagne flutes, Rose immediately lifted hers to her lips downing the contents then stared into space. I sent Will a questioning glance, but he just shrugged.

"I'm gonna go get ready." He placed a kiss at my temple before leaving.

I felt it in the safety of my rib cage. A seed that had been sowed and sprouted but was now beginning to bloom. My emotions were too tender. I wanted this too much. It would hurt too badly for it to fall apart.

Rose glanced down the hallway after the door closed behind him. "I assume Mom and Dad aren't home?"

"I don't think so."

Whatever veil was draped over her slipped away. Her eyes brightened with a mischievous glint. "So, you hung out with Bill?"

I bit my lower lip, looking down at the countertop. "Yeah, Mom sent us off Christmas shopping. Is that okay?"

"Why would you need my permission?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I don't wanna blow your cover."

She snorted. "It's cool. I want it to work out for you two."

"Thanks." A swirl of butterflies flitted around my heart. "Is he really as great as he seems?"

"He is."

"Why didn't you two…"

"You haven't noticed the lack of chemistry?"

I rolled my eyes. "I saw that kiss the other morning. Haunting. But like, why?"

"Bill and I are just not it, you know?" In one big gulp, she downed her beverage. "I seem to only have fuck buddies and platonic friendships."

"Recently?"

She nodded, staring down at her empty glass. "And not recently."

"Since?"

"Yup."

"There hasn't been anyone since Lawrence?"

She pinched her lips to one side. Raising an eyebrow, she shook her head.

Staring into the middle distance, misery seated in the corners of her eyes. "He was there today. In the group with Olivia."

"You, okay?"

Swallowing the remaining contents of her drink, she shrugged. "I don't know if I have been in a long time."

I wanted to hug her, but the new rules of our relationship were unclear. Instead, I uttered an impotent, That sucks .

I turned her words over. Realizing just how much Rose had lost over one decision she'd made when she was eighteen. Lawrence and I had been load-bearing pillars of her support system. To have both of us knocked out from underneath her must have left her crumbling. While I'd been swallowed by depression and fear at my first life experience alone. So had she. It'd just shown differently.

But we were both keeping the world at arm's length.

The question remained…

Could I break the pattern?

I’d pulled my hair into a headache inducing bun, and the woman sitting next to me in the high school auditorium wore a too sweet perfume. My sweater dress was hot and itchy around my neck as the students in the orchestra played an extra melancholy and poorly timed, I'll be Home for Christmas. I'd considered staying home, but our cousin Violet played the flute. So, just like all the other dutiful friends and family members, I waited for the concert to end.

We all filed into the cafeteria afterwards for juice from an Igloo cooler with a spout at the bottom and store-bought sugar cookies. They had strung red and green streamers and balloons along the brown brick walls. Rose and Will lingered next to the entrance talking but not looking at each other, as if they were characters in a spy movie scoping out the place. They really did have terrible chemistry. It was a shock that their fans were hungry for a relationship between them.

I might be biased. Or I knew what Will was like when he liked someone—instead of just being a good friend.

I followed my parents, waving hello to old classmates and former teachers, until we were standing next to Violet and her friends. A girl with dark curly hair widened her eyes as she registered my face. But I couldn't imagine why. I didn't think I knew her.

"You all did such a good job!" Mom wrapped her niece in a hug.

"Thank you," Violet said, in her usual distracted way. Ever since she was little, she'd had a spacey way about her.

Her friend scrolled on her phone, then paused and showed the screen to a tall blond girl. They both looked at me. I stilled to resist fidgeting from one foot to the other. I couldn't fathom how I had become the center of their attention, and I knew from being one, teenage girls were terrifying.

Dad threw an arm around Violet's shoulders. "It was good."

"Thanks, Uncle Jim."

"Hey," the first girl stepped toward me, "you're Rose's sister, right? Rose from Will it Bloom? "

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you like friends with Bill, too?"

Mom sent me a questioning look. I shrugged back, certain that my face was growing bright red. "Sure."

"Okay, 'cause I saw this adorable picture of you, and I was like, 'Oh my God, is he becoming besties with her sister too!' Like, could he be more perfect?"

My fingers tingled from adrenaline. In my chest, my heart pounded like a tiger was chasing me. "Picture?"

"I wouldn't call him perfect ," Dad whispered to Mom, and she elbowed him in the ribs.

I opened my mouth to tell my dad he was wrong, but then the girl held her phone a few inches from my nose. The image was a blur of color and light until I leaned far enough away.

"Jeez, don't shove your phone in her face," the tall blond admonished.

"Sorry." The girl pulled her phone back a few inches, but I could make out the image. In it, I was mid eye roll and smiling. In my hands, I held a Christmas chessboard. And he looked at me with the warmest affection. So warm I could feel it through the phone.

The girl put a hand on her hip. "Some of the comments are dumb, like thinking that he's cheating on Rose with you. But I was all, ‘ She's her sister. Obviously, she and Will are friends .’"

I didn't have enough saliva in my mouth to speak, not that I knew what to say, anyway. Jerking my head, I managed something like a nod.

"Well, now Rose will know you two went shopping for her," Mom said, shaking her head. "Is that the gift you got her?"

"One of them," I forced out. My eyes flicked left to right, feeling as if everyone was looking at me. The picture was innocent. It could have been worse. But I still felt the violation of my privacy. We were just at a store. Why would someone take a secret photo of us and then post it on the Internet? We hadn't even started dating, and I didn't want even this amount of attention.

"You bought her a chessboard? Does she play?"

"I don't… I don't know. It's funny," I argued. "The pawns are elves and they're all smiling. It's like they're happy to go die for Santa and Mrs. Claus."

My parents and the high schoolers considered me with disturbed looks.

Swallowing, I swiped a hand over my bun. "Rose will think it's funny."

"I'm sure she will," Mom replied after a beat. But she didn't sound convinced. I didn't really care. I needed a quiet spot to think and regain my composure.

It's not a big deal. It's just a stupid picture.

But it was more than that. It was a microscope I didn't want to be under. A magnifying glass that would leave me burnt.