Accidentally Under Your Tree (Grand Ridge Christmas #1)

4.Will

Two nights before Christmas

The storm had grounded all flights coming and going from west and central Michigan. It was just a matter of time before the weather hit Flint and Detroit shutting down their airports. So, even if I wanted to take the risk of the drive across the state, I'd just be trapped there instead of here.

Which I was still considering.

The only reason I was lying on my back in the spare bedroom while feeling sorry for myself. Instead of driving through the ice storm while feeling sorry for myself, was because ice storms were dangerous, and the rental car had barely adequate tires. Ice pinged against the windowpane above my head. Irritatingly enough, it reminded me of the first night I'd met Lizzy.

The sudden dark of the bar, my hand on her waist to balance her. My first glimpse of her dimples when she smiled. Her slow thawing like a reward forgetting to know her.

How had we met only a few days ago? How was I in such a sad state after only a handful of moments?

Because being with her feels like electricity.

I groaned and scraped a hand across my face. I wished, again, for something to do. A task to keep my hands busy. A nail to hammer. Something to turn my brain quiet. The familiar satisfaction of creating something—of a job done.

Then, as if conjured, the high-pitched buzz of a power tool brought me sitting straight on the bed. My feet were on the carpet and moving toward the closed door before I realized what I was doing. Stepping into the hallway, a mixture of hope and anxiety surged through me at the possibility of finding myself face-to-face with Lizzy.

Her door was closed.

Rose and Kelly were in the kitchen wearing flour covered aprons. The oven heated the room. The scent of their cookies baking was a manifestation of Christmas.

Except for Lizzy missing from this adorable tableau.

I hated to think that it might be my fault that she wasn't spending time with her family. It twisted my gut to imagine her in her bedroom feeling as terrible as I did. My only recourse was to leave her alone.

The corners of Kelly's lips turned down, and she nodded at her daughter with appreciation. "Goodness, you called that."

I lifted an eyebrow at Rose.

She shrugged. "I told Mom the drill would get you out of the room."

"And then you were here." Kelly gestured toward me with two giant oven mitts covering her hands. "Jim's in the garage."

I hadn't seen much of him since the conversation from the day before. It was possible my existence still irritated him. It was for sure that I was uncomfortable around him…but the power tools .

I shoved my fists in my pockets. "Do you think he'd mind if I helped?"

"He'll appreciate the help," Kelly answered with confidence.

I didn't believe her, but the prospect of doing something was too great to turn down. The whiz of the drill started again, and I followed it like a siren's call.

The minivan was parked in one of the garage stalls, the other acted as a woodworking shop. He hunched over a board suspended on work horses. To his credit, instead of rolling his eyes when he saw me, he jerked his chin in welcome. I closed the kitchen door behind me. The scent of wood shavings and motor oil were even more comforting than the cookies. I swung my arms, my hands hitting my thighs with a smack, unsure of what body language would be correct in this instance. At least his attention had returned to the two planks of wood he was screwing together.

"What do ya got goin' here?" I asked.

"A bookshelf for a friend's grandkid."

"Nice…" I nodded, more bobble head like than human. "Can I help?"

He grunted in what seemed like affirmation.

Though he had it in hand on his own, I folded myself into his task. For a few minutes we didn't speak—just passed tools back and forth. When we started adding the shelves, he asked, "You've never dated my daughter?"

My shoulders fell. The silence had been too good to last. "No, Rose and I have always just been good friends."

"Why? Don't you think she's beautiful?"

"Of course she is." My tongue grew a few sizes too large in my mouth, and I struggled not to jumble my words together. "It's just never been there."

"What hasn't?"

"Attraction, I guess."

He made a huh sound in the back of this throat. Speaking with his eyes on his work, he started, "I'm gonna ask a blunt question."

Trepidation tangled my stomach in knots. "Okay…"

"What are your feelings for Lizzy?"

Oh shit.

I leaned a hip against the workbench. Crossing my arms, I searched for the best way to explain. How much should I say? What should I say? He waited in patient silence.

"We met the night before I got here." I searched every corner of my brain for the words to explain to him while also keeping my foot securely out of my mouth. "I like her a lot. More than I've liked anyone in a long time."

He paused in his task, his brow furrowed.

"I thought…we could…" I tried to continue, but my convoluted thoughts were unintelligible and half-formed explanations. "Date."

It was such an inadequate word for what I thought Lizzy and I could be. What else was I supposed to say to her dad?

Well, Jim, after just a few days of knowing your daughter, Lizzy, I want to devote the rest of them to her. But she doesn’t want the same.

"Anyway, last night she told me she's not interested in a relationship because of how public my life is."

His jaw set, and a line formed between his thick pale eyebrows.

I scraped my palm along my jaw. "I don't even blame her. It's gotten kinda crazy." Heat warmed my cheeks. "I've…It's as if, in chasing a modicum of fame and fortune, I've lost some sense of myself. Lately, my choices have been embarrassing at best. I am not exactly inspiring confidence at the moment."

"Would you give up the show for her?"

"Honestly, I'm questioning if I want it."

Jim fixed me with a glare. "You better figure out what you want or you're going to break both of my girls' hearts. Rose wants this show, and Lizzy clearly sees something in you."

The urge to ask him what he meant by that was hard to ignore, but he didn't seem like he'd be willing to explain. And asking would make me look desperate—which I was. But hopefully, he didn't know that.

"I understand," I said.

He grunted, setting back to the task at hand. "Sounds like you got a lot to think about."

I did.

We went back to assembling the bookshelf while not speaking. The quiet was a relief when my thoughts were so loud.

Lizzy

Two nights before Christmas

"The coast is clear. Open your door," Rose said instead of knocking.

I leaned forward to set my laptop on my bedside table, my muscles, and joints stiff from sitting with terrible posture against my headboard. With awkward rigid steps, I crossed my room.

She held a plate on the other side of the door piled high with chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies. For hours, enticing smells had seeped into my room, just like it did every year. I'd considered going into the garage to help Dad, but then I heard Will heading that way.

Instead, I watched Christmas specials of my favorite TV shows and texted Shay. She relayed that Lawrence was more withdrawn than usual. I'd had to tell her what had happened the day before. Rose was lucky there was a storm keeping Shay at her parents. But she wasn't holding back her angry texts. I didn't stop her. She was protective. With Rose and Lawrence's past, she had reason to be.

God only knew the hell Shay was giving him.

Rose and I were healing our relationship. But it was still clear, she didn't know what she was doing. I didn't understand why she wouldn't be with him. They seemed like they were still in love.

But then, I could see myself loving Will and I'd taken a step back.

Doing scary things was hard.

"Cookie?" She held the plate directly under my nose. As if I could have said no.

I peeked down the hall around her shoulder. "How do you feel about grabbing a glass of milk?"

"Thermos under my arm."

I moved to make room for her to enter. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Her eyes swept over the periwinkle walls and bedroom furniture I'd chosen in high school. Including my desk with my color coated sticky notes and pens. "So, your taste is the same."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm here temporarily."

"I guess I could have a time capsule room if I'd stayed closer to home too."

"Would you want one?" The cookie was still warm when I picked it up off the plate. The chocolate dripped in my mouth.

"No."

"Me either."

She snorted. "Then why are you here?"

"Do you know these people don't charge rent? They make me call them Mom and Dad, but free-living, are you kidding me?"

It was so good to make her laugh. It had been a weird week of emotional ups and downs. But in all of that, this had happened. My heart was more broken than it should have been. Yet my sister was bringing me cookies and laughing at my jokes. Ups and downs.

"That sounds pretty good." She picked up a snickerdoodle and held out her hand for me to pass the thermos of milk. "How long do you think you'll live here?"

"I'm not sure. My business is doing okay, actually."

"That's outstanding!" She beamed at me with crumbs at the corners of her mouth. "I was so impressed when I heard you were doing this. It takes guts."

"It was a big change."

"I wasn't disappointed to hear your ex wouldn't be around."

"I always wondered if you hated him."

"Kinda. He just never seemed to realize how cool you are."

"You think I'm cool?"

"The coolest." She nodded to the floor. Neither of us could look at one another with so much subtext. I was about to change the subject when she blurted, "I'm sorry."

My jaw slackened. "What?"

"For…the past eight years—"

"That wasn't just you," I said, but she kept going.

"—for not telling you I was thinking of schools out of state. For making you out to be a…loser." She turned her head, looking right into my eyes. "You're not. I was so angry, and jealous of anyone who got to hang out with you. And I took it out on you. I'm really sorry."

The tender wounds of my heart were a little less painful under the salve of her words. "I'm sorry too. I wish I had been less selfish and more understanding. I get it now, how you needed to grow without me."

She made a hmm sound. "I don't want to grow alone anymore."

It felt corny, and sentimental to wrap my arms around her shoulders. To lean into her hug for the healing nature of it. I gave her support just as much as I received hers.

Pulling away, we both wiped fingertips under our eyes and laughed.

I jerked my head toward my laptop. "I was just about to watch the New Girl episode where they yell at the rich neighborhood and Nick misses his flight."

"Turn on the lights!" she quoted.

"Yes, exactly!"

She scooted back on the bed in a similar position I'd just been in, leaving room for me to sit next to her. "Can we watch the one with all the Christmas parties after?"

"The one where Winston might still believe in Santa?"

"Yes!"

We were halfway through the first episode—the plate of cookies devoured—when Dad and Will's voice carried from the kitchen to my room. I couldn't make out what they were talking about, but just the sound of Will's voice was enough to make my chest ache and my blood to heat.

"You, okay?" Rose asked.

I nodded, even though I didn't feel okay.

She paused the show. "You wanna tell me your side?"

I made a disgusted sound. Setting my laptop on the mattress by our feet, I shifted to face her. "So, Will and I had discussed dating privately when you two are done with…you know."

She rolled her eyes and nodded.

"I thought I could get past, like, how public your lives are. Or I just kinda assumed I wouldn't be interesting. But that photo of us shopping..."

"Gotcha. I can see how that violates your privacy. You don't even have an Insta do you? I can never find you when I look."

"You look for me?"

"Of course. I mean, Mom and Dad give me updates, but they only know what parents know. They don't know you like Shay does. They don't know you the way I want to know you. So, I look for you sometimes just to get a different glimpse of your life."

A sad smile tilted my lips. "I had to force myself to stop checking your profiles. It wasn't easy."

"I get it."

"Anyway, that photo freaked me out. You know what I'm like. I hate attention, especially from strangers. I was all wrapped up in weird anxiety and then I told him I wasn't even willing to try a relationship. Which sucks even more because he's here for the next week and a half."

"He looked for flights, but the storm."

I flinched. A dull ache started at the base of my skull. "He's leaving?"

"He was thinking about it. Would you be disappointed if he did?"

“Probably."

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I would."

"Do you wanna talk to him?"

"I don't know if I should." If only the answer could be the simple yes, I wanted it to be, but it wasn't. "I was so uncomfortable, and I just wanted to hide."

She chewed on her lower lip. "It just sucks, because it doesn't happen often. But one time was enough for you, I get that. It just amps up when things happen. We announced our relationship, so there are more eyes on us. When we breakup, it's going to happen. If you two announce you're dating—"

"If you get the show," I interjected.

" If we get the show," she conceded. "That's a big if . You're still my sister. It might happen when you're with me."

"That's a good point." The prospect of the two of us just hanging out filled me with so much joy.

"Speaking of…" She crossed her legs to her side, angling herself in my direction. "I have something I want you to think about."

"Okay…"

Her words fell out as if they were running downhill. "I have a spare room, and I want you to move into it."

"You do?" My grin was so big.

"I've really liked this. I don't want to pause reconnecting. You said living here was temporary, anyway. If you just pay for your own food, and your expenses. I'll cover everything else. You won't even have to call me Mom and Dad."

I snorted. It was surreal. A week ago, I would have felt grateful just to have her acknowledge my existence. I could never have expected this. "Okay, I'll move in with you."

Her smile was all teeth. It reminded me of our childhood Christmas mornings. "You don't want to think about it or anything?"

"No."

"Well, good."

"Good." I pictured what living with her would be like—spending time together, learning about each other again, fighting like sisters. I felt good. Right.

Even if I might be included in the friendly fire of fan’s photos. I wouldn't trade the chance to have her in my life for that.

A thought took shape, startling in its clarity. Fear gripped my sternum. I wanted to hide from it. But I wouldn't.

Rose considered me out of the corner of her eye. "You look glum. Did you change your mind already?"

"No," I grumbled, then rolled my eyes.

"I have an idea," I heaved a heavy sigh. "And I hate it."

Will

One night before Christmas

I ignored my phone buzzing in my pocket. Jim stapled a piece of trim into place as I held it along the ceiling.

When a family party was canceled because of the treacherous roads, I’d wondered how I would withstand another day in this house. The roads were also why I was still Kelly and Jim's guest. I was stuck right where I was.

Early in the morning, I'd gone into the kitchen in search of coffee. To find Jim drinking from a mug. "Wanna help me with my 'Honey-do' list? A couple of things would be easier with two people. Lizzy would help, but she's been busy with work. Anyway, you in?"

I was. I really was.

Holding still was challenging for me under normal circumstances. Holding still while snowed in with a woman I couldn't stop thinking about—a woman who had already turned me down…

I was desperate for distraction.

Kelly was ecstatic to find us working through the list.

It was mid-morning, but we'd already crossed a few things off the list. We should move slower. I dreaded finding the end of the work.

My phone buzzed insistently as we took a step back, inspecting the trim now secure to the wall. Finally, the vibrating stopped only to start back up.

"Looks good," Jim jerked his head in approval.

I'd done a hell of a lot harder carpentry than this. Which made it laughable how much his approval meant. He'd painted the black crown molding to match the black built in shelving. It was an intense look. But the more I'd gotten to know Kelly, the more it fit.

"You gonna answer that?" he asked, my phone starting up again.

"Seems like maybe I should." I pulled my phone from my pocket to find Rose on the caller ID. Pressing it to my ear, I asked, "Aren't you in the other room?"

" Finally ," she groaned.

"What's up?"

"Check the Live that just posted."

"On our page?"

She made a disgusted sound. "Yes."

Foregoing the social structures of a 'goodbye', she disconnected the call. My lips pressed into a thin line. I searched for patience to deal with her bossing me around—all the time. In her defense, I was usually fine with it. I was slightly more irritable than usual.

"Uh, if you'll give me just a second," I said to Jim, taking a step toward the spare room. He grunted his agreement.

I opened the app to find the most recent post featured Lizzy and Rose sitting side-by-side wearing Christmas sweaters. Rose beamed at the camera, but Lizzy was giving it a side-eye that I felt in my chest. She'd signed her name on my heart with those knives for eyes. Even if it'd been a brief time, her effect would last.

I moved down the hall to find privacy in the spare room. With the door closed behind me, I breathed out a calming breath. My thumb hovered over the reel. Tilting my head, a crease pressed between my eyebrows. I tapped on the post. Through my speaker, Rose spoke to Lizzy, "Can you pretend to be happy to be here?"

Scoffing, she replied, "No."

Rose laughed, rolling her eyes. "Fine. Hello everyone, I hope you're enjoying your holidays! It’s been a really interesting time…here."

"Interesting," Lizzy agreed.

"Anyway, I don't know how much I've mentioned my twin sister, Anne, or I guess sometimes you go by Lizzy."

Looking square in the camera, she said, "Like, all the time."

With a smirk, Rose shook her head. "Fine. I'm the only one that wants to call you Anne. The point of all of this is that she will be around more. She is moving in with me, and you might catch glimpses of her—like a beloved house cat skittering out of the shot."

My heart swelled too big for my ribs. It was such a different message than that metaphor had served earlier this week. Instead of derision, she used it with affection. They would be okay and could continue repairing the damage done to their relationship. If I couldn't be with Lizzy, at least she and Rose could have each other.

Lizzy would continue to be in my orbit. I'd just have to ignore her gravity. Just like the moon could ignore the pull of earth.

I resented the jealousy I felt taking away from the appreciation I had for Lizzy and Rose's healing relationship, but I couldn't help the knowing that Lizzy would tolerate some attention for Rose, but not for me. Even if it was fair that their relationship was more meaningful than hers and mine.

"This concession, if you can't tell by how she is glaring at the camera," Rose went on, "is truly an act of love on her part. So, we wanted to introduce her to you. But we have a greater purpose for showing up on your feeds."

She turned her head, giving the camera her profile and directing the attention to Lizzy. Her cheeks were bright pink, and she'd gone still.

I knew they'd already filmed and posted, but I still felt the urge to tell Rose to back off. To put my body between Lizzy and the people watching on the livestream. Their reactions floating up the side of the screen like silent announcements that all eyes were on her.

Taking her hand, Rose squeezed it.

Lizzy kept her eyes down on her lap. Her voice was almost too quiet for the microphone to pick up, as she said, "I take it back."

Blind, stupid hope surged through me. There was no knowing what "it" was, but I wanted that sentence to be for me. I begged for it in the whispering corners of my heart to be for me.

"I hope you'll let me take it back." Lizzy's softened gaze met the camera. "I want to try."

A flurry of hearts fluttered up the screen—like butterflies taking flight.

Rose grinned at her sister with tender pride. "Good job," she mouthed.

"Thanks," Lizzy mouthed back.

"That's it from us. Anne and I hope you're having happy holidays, too."

The video stopped, frozen, with Lizzy focused on the camera through her eyelashes. My pulse thundered in my ears.

'I want to try.'

'Us' equaled her and me.

I'd spent the last two days fighting, and losing, against my disappointment. Struggling to accept that the relationship I desperately wanted with her wasn't possible. And in just a few short sentences, she'd changed the trajectory. We weren't written in the stars just yet, but if she would try, then we could be.

I would. Happily.

Before exiting the room, I grabbed the only gift I hadn't already placed under the Christmas tree. The hallway was empty. It only took two footsteps to stand outside of Lizzy's bedroom door. But it took me two attempts at knocking before I was successful.

Sweat prickled at the back of my neck, waiting the few seconds for her to open the door. A hallow of moisture formed around my fingers on the shiny wrapping paper in my hands.

The latch clicked as she twisted the knob. She leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb, biting her lower lip. Still clad in the adorable, ridiculous Christmas sweater she'd worn in the video—a kitten lying on its back playing with a Christmas tree ornament. She rolled the fabric between her fingertips.

Hugging the present to my chest in a way that did not make me feel masculine, I pinched it under one arm instead. I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my jeans to keep from fidgeting with my hands. Or pulling her against me. She'd said we could try, but she hadn't said that we could with her parents just down the hall. She might still want to be private.

"Did you see it?" she asked.

A smile split across my face. "Yeah."

Her head remained pointed toward her slippers. "I'm so sorry to go back and forth like this. It's not fair, and if you've changed your mind."

The need to touch her grew too strong, even if she wanted to keep us a secret for a while longer. Hooking a knuckle under her chin, I eased her to meet my gaze. "I haven't."

Her brown eyes slipped over my face, taking in my smile and the happiness alight in my gaze. "You're still willing to try?"

"I'm desperate to."

The soft pressure of her touch sliding up my chest to my shoulders drew hot lines across my skin. Even through my clothes, my body remembered her touch as if she were tattooing me. Forever branded by her.

I cupped her face in one hand and pressed my palm to her back, my fingers splayed.

The gift smacked on the carpeted floor. At least it wasn't breakable. But it was distracting enough. She paused, looking at it laying between our feet.

"What's that?" she asked.

My voice caught in my throat, suddenly self-conscious that I'd brought it. "It's just a little gift. It's probably lame to give it to you now."

"I like it when you're lame." She beamed at me as she bent to pick it up. "Can I open it now?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Just don't make fun of me too badly."

"I don't make any promises." She pulled on the ribbon I'd tied around the package. The tape released with a pop, and in only a few seconds, the paper pealed away revealing the planner's pink cover.

She blinked up at me.

My toes curled and uncurled on the carpet. "If you want to collect planners and never use them…you should collect planners and never use them."

Her lips pulled up at the corners, and I melted in her warmth. The space between our bodies closed in increments. Her mouth pulled mine to hers. Breath by breath. She possessed a magnetism I could surrender to.

"Thank you." she whispered, peppermint on her breath.

I pulled her against my chest. Where I knew she belonged. I'd known it since the moment I'd sat next to her in the hotel bar.

She fit. We fit.

Her mouth was warm and soft.

Finally, I could give her all of me. We didn't have to be secretive or hide.

At the end of the hall, Jim mumbled, "I told you so."

I could practically hear Kelly roll her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you called it."

Lizzy pulled away, leaving me drunk on just her kiss. Tucking her head into my neck, she held me and let me hold her. It was a rare moment.

It was right.