Accidentally Under Your Tree (Grand Ridge Christmas #1)

7. Lizzy

Three nights before Christmas

Will and I arrived home from shopping just before Rose. I hurried to my bedroom to stuff my bags into the closet. As soon as she stepped through the garaged door, she began flitting around the kitchen.

"I found this recipe for a Christmas sangria. I'm gonna throw it together. You want some?" she offered her voice muffled from the other side of my wall.

"Should we get ready for the thing at the school?" Will asked.

"We have time. I could use a drink."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She called out, "Anne, you want a glass?"

A smile split across my face. The delight of being included by her was still very real. I didn't have to tamper it when no one could see me. "Yes, please."

I stepped into the hallway to find Rose bright faced and energetic, a little frantic.

Will and I hovered around the kitchen island while Rose poured ingredients into a pitcher. He rubbed circles on my back, and I closed my eyes, savoring his touch, even if my parents could walk into the room at any moment. I wanted to live in the bubble where it was okay for us to be affectionate for a while longer.

After pouring three champagne flutes, Rose immediately lifted hers to her lips downing the contents then stared into space. I sent Will a questioning glance, but he just shrugged.

"I'm gonna go get ready." He placed a kiss at my temple before leaving.

I felt it in the safety of my rib cage. A seed that had been sowed and sprouted but was now beginning to bloom. My emotions were too tender. I wanted this too much. It would hurt too badly for it to fall apart.

Rose glanced down the hallway after the door closed behind him. "I assume Mom and Dad aren't home?"

"I don't think so."

Whatever veil was draped over her slipped away. Her eyes brightened with a mischievous glint. "So, you hung out with Bill?"

I bit my lower lip, looking down at the countertop. "Yeah, Mom sent us off Christmas shopping. Is that okay?"

"Why would you need my permission?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I don't wanna blow your cover."

She snorted. "It's cool. I want it to work out for you two."

"Thanks." A swirl of butterflies flitted around my heart. "Is he really as great as he seems?"

"He is."

"Why didn't you two…"

"You haven't noticed the lack of chemistry?"

I rolled my eyes. "I saw that kiss the other morning. Haunting. But like, why?"

"Bill and I are just not it, you know?" In one big gulp, she downed her beverage. "I seem to only have fuck buddies and platonic friendships."

"Recently?"

She nodded, staring down at her empty glass. "And not recently."

"Since?"

"Yup."

"There hasn't been anyone since Lawrence?"

She pinched her lips to one side. Raising an eyebrow, she shook her head.

Staring into the middle distance, misery seated in the corners of her eyes. "He was there today. In the group with Olivia."

"You, okay?"

Swallowing the remaining contents of her drink, she shrugged. "I don't know if I have been in a long time."

I wanted to hug her, but the new rules of our relationship were unclear. Instead, I uttered an impotent, That sucks .

I turned her words over. Realizing just how much Rose had lost over one decision she'd made when she was eighteen. Lawrence and I had been load-bearing pillars of her support system. To have both of us knocked out from underneath her must have left her crumbling. While I'd been swallowed by depression and fear at my first life experience alone. So had she. It'd just shown differently.

But we were both keeping the world at arm's length.

The question remained…

Could I break the pattern?

I’d pulled my hair into a headache inducing bun, and the woman sitting next to me in the high school auditorium wore a too sweet perfume. My sweater dress was hot and itchy around my neck as the students in the orchestra played an extra melancholy and poorly timed, I'll be Home for Christmas. I'd considered staying home, but our cousin Violet played the flute. So, just like all the other dutiful friends and family members, I waited for the concert to end.

We all filed into the cafeteria afterwards for juice from an Igloo cooler with a spout at the bottom and store-bought sugar cookies. They had strung red and green streamers and balloons along the brown brick walls. Rose and Will lingered next to the entrance talking but not looking at each other, as if they were characters in a spy movie scoping out the place. They really did have terrible chemistry. It was a shock that their fans were hungry for a relationship between them.

I might be biased. Or I knew what Will was like when he liked someone—instead of just being a good friend.

I followed my parents, waving hello to old classmates and former teachers, until we were standing next to Violet and her friends. A girl with dark curly hair widened her eyes as she registered my face. But I couldn't imagine why. I didn't think I knew her.

"You all did such a good job!" Mom wrapped her niece in a hug.

"Thank you," Violet said, in her usual distracted way. Ever since she was little, she'd had a spacey way about her.

Her friend scrolled on her phone, then paused and showed the screen to a tall blond girl. They both looked at me. I stilled to resist fidgeting from one foot to the other. I couldn't fathom how I had become the center of their attention, and I knew from being one, teenage girls were terrifying.

Dad threw an arm around Violet's shoulders. "It was good."

"Thanks, Uncle Jim."

"Hey," the first girl stepped toward me, "you're Rose's sister, right? Rose from Will it Bloom? "

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you like friends with Bill, too?"

Mom sent me a questioning look. I shrugged back, certain that my face was growing bright red. "Sure."

"Okay, 'cause I saw this adorable picture of you, and I was like, 'Oh my God, is he becoming besties with her sister too!' Like, could he be more perfect?"

My fingers tingled from adrenaline. In my chest, my heart pounded like a tiger was chasing me. "Picture?"

"I wouldn't call him perfect ," Dad whispered to Mom, and she elbowed him in the ribs.

I opened my mouth to tell my dad he was wrong, but then the girl held her phone a few inches from my nose. The image was a blur of color and light until I leaned far enough away.

"Jeez, don't shove your phone in her face," the tall blond admonished.

"Sorry." The girl pulled her phone back a few inches, but I could make out the image. In it, I was mid eye roll and smiling. In my hands, I held a Christmas chessboard. And he looked at me with the warmest affection. So warm I could feel it through the phone.

The girl put a hand on her hip. "Some of the comments are dumb, like thinking that he's cheating on Rose with you. But I was all, ‘ She's her sister. Obviously, she and Will are friends .’"

I didn't have enough saliva in my mouth to speak, not that I knew what to say, anyway. Jerking my head, I managed something like a nod.

"Well, now Rose will know you two went shopping for her," Mom said, shaking her head. "Is that the gift you got her?"

"One of them," I forced out. My eyes flicked left to right, feeling as if everyone was looking at me. The picture was innocent. It could have been worse. But I still felt the violation of my privacy. We were just at a store. Why would someone take a secret photo of us and then post it on the Internet? We hadn't even started dating, and I didn't want even this amount of attention.

"You bought her a chessboard? Does she play?"

"I don't… I don't know. It's funny," I argued. "The pawns are elves and they're all smiling. It's like they're happy to go die for Santa and Mrs. Claus."

My parents and the high schoolers considered me with disturbed looks.

Swallowing, I swiped a hand over my bun. "Rose will think it's funny."

"I'm sure she will," Mom replied after a beat. But she didn't sound convinced. I didn't really care. I needed a quiet spot to think and regain my composure.

It's not a big deal. It's just a stupid picture.

But it was more than that. It was a microscope I didn't want to be under. A magnifying glass that would leave me burnt.

Will

Three nights before Christmas

"We should tell your parents tonight," I said to Rose's profile. She was staring at something just past my shoulder, not registering I was even speaking. I followed her gaze.

Lawrence stood with his back to us.

"Rose." This time, I spoke with enough force in my voice to get her attention. "We need to end the lie. It's gone too far. I want to tell your parents tonight."

A crease formed between her eyebrows. "That we broke up or…?"

I shook my head, looking far more confident than I felt. "That we've been lying to them."

"No. Nope. They'll freak out."

"We are not pulling this off. We're going to get caught if we keep this up. It's better to get ahead of it."

"We're doing fine."

"I'm not keeping my distance from Lizzy, and I don't want to." I admitted with a heavy omission of fucking around in the basement. "And you"—I jerked my head in Lawrence's direction, where Rose's attention had already wandered—"are not being as discrete as you think, either."

She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I don't want to keep lying. Particularly, not about Lizzy—"

"We are not telling my parents in the same conversation that we lied about dating and you having the hots for my sister," Rose interrupted.

Exhaling a deep breath, I agreed, "That's probably smart."

She smirked. "So, it's unlike us?"

"Practically opposites." I nudged her shoulder with mine. "We can wait a couple of days and announce an amicable breakup online."

"I really don't want to tell my mom and dad." She pleaded.

"I think we should." I scraped my toe on a black scuff mark on the tile floor. "We shouldn't have lied to them to begin with."

"Fine…we'll tell them tonight when we get home."

"Thanks."

I found Lizzy standing with her parents and a group of high schoolers. One of the orchestra kids held her phone in front of Lizzy's face. She stilled like she did when she was nervous.

I rubbed at the back of my neck, my muscles knotting into one. My throat closed, dreading what could be on that screen. With numb fingers, I slid my phone from my pocket and pulled up the show's most popular profile. The half a second it took for it to load was the longest in my life. My heart beat a panicked rhythm in my ears.

My breath rushed from my lungs. Relief washing over me and drying the cold sweat that had beaded on my forehead.

There was a picture of me and Lizzy, but it was as innocent as I could hope for. In the shot we were standing far enough apart, our facial expressions innocent. Some comments were suspicious, but nothing too bad. She had been nervous a few seconds ago, but she was probably experiencing the same wash of comfort I was.

If I needed any more reason to end the lie, dodging this bullet would have been it.

I turned to show Rose, only to find the space where she'd been at my side was empty and I hadn't even heard her leave. I'd been too absorbed in Lizzy.

I didn't bother to look if Lawrence were still with the group he'd been in.

I knew he wasn't.

My stomach dropped for the second time in less than a minute.

"Where's Rosie?" Kelly asked at my side. I jumped, caught off-guard yet again. The women of this family moved with incredible stealth.

Jim and Lizzy joined us.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket. My attempt to not look at Lizzy failed, instead I answered her mom while looking directly into Lizzy's eyes. "I don't know. She was just right here."

"We were just going to head out," Kelly explained. "She couldn't have gone far."

We'd all arrived together, piled in the family minivan. So, if Kelly said it was time to go, then it was time.

"I'll text her," I said, but Kelly was already walking down the hall toward the dark auditorium. Her heels clicking in contrast to the heavy footfalls of Jim's boots at her side, her arm hooked in his.

Lizzy chewed at the cuticles of her thumb, and I paused in typing the message to Rose. "What's wrong?"

Crossing her arms on her chest, Lizzy shook her head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

The jerk of her head was the only answer she gave me. Turning, she followed her parents. Her back was ramrod straight.

Unease fitted back into my shoulders. I wanted to rush to her side, ask her if this was about the photo, but there were too many eyes around us.

I wasn't sure she wanted me near her, or worse, that she might actually want distance. Which was the exact opposite of what I wanted.

We'd had a fun day, been freer with each other than we should have been. But in the end, what I was offering her was empty. I was still hiding. The pale shadow of what we could become was bullshit if all I could give her was kisses in the dark and nothing else.

A loud gasp snapped my head up.

"Mom," Rose's surprised voice called from inside the opened door of the auditorium.

"What the hell?" Jim demanded louder than I'd ever heard him be before.

"Shit," a man hissed. I didn't have to see him to know, without a doubt, it was Lawrence.

My jaw tightened grinding my teeth. I took the last few steps through the open doors. The aisle lights in the floor were the only illumination in the spacious room. The darkness ate it up, leaving just the outlines of Lizzy and her family and Lawrence visible. The outline of a jaw, a shoulder, the angry wrinkles on Jim's forehead. Rose and Lawrence tucked into a darkened corner, standing far too closely as if they'd just been in each other's arms.

I knew this lie would blow up in our faces, but I thought it would be my fault.

It might have been na?ve, but instead of anger or irritation, I felt sympathy for my friend who could have everything she wanted if she'd just let down her guard for a moment.

"I can explain," Rose tried.

"Explanation is unnecessary." Kelly shot a glance at me.

"Mom. Dad." Rose held her hands out, a silent plea in her palms.

Lawrence considered me out of the corner of his eye, as if guilt kept him from looking at me straight on. His weight was on the leg furthest from me, ready for an attack.

Jim placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't do it. Not here."

I loosened the clench of my jaw, realizing how tightly bound my muscles were. It took a few seconds of focus to relax my stance. My concern must have looked like aggression with my hands fisted at my sides. No wonder Lawrence was watching me like I was a danger to him.

"It's time to go." Jim urged me to turn away, but my feet were still planted.

Unshed tears glistened in Rose's eyes. Lawrence's head hung in shame.

Just inside the door, Lizzy stood holding her elbow with one hand and the other pressed to her mouth. I wanted nothing more than to get her and her sister home. To take this mess we'd made somewhere private.

Scraping my palm over my lips, I nodded to Jim.

"Good for you, son," he spoke to my back.

It was my turn to hang my head.

Will

Three nights before Christmas

The cold interior of the garage was almost a relief to the stifling tension of the van ride home. The only words spoken for the fifteen-minute drive were from Rose as soon as the last door had shut behind her dad. Three whispered syllables swallowed whole as soon as they were uttered, "I'm sorry."

She'd folded in on herself, startling when Lizzy reached across the space between their seats to give her wrist a reassuring squeeze.

Affection too big to be anything but love swelled in my chest. She was steadfast and tender. I was desperate to do right by her. After my short-lived marriage, I knew what it was to be in a toxic situation. I refused to put Lizzy through that, through this , any longer.

Jim hung his keys on the hook at the kitchen door, holding it open for his wife and daughters, and then me.

After depositing our boots on the mat by the door, the five of us paused in the kitchen. Lizzy at her sister's side, me on the other. Their parents had a silent conversation the way two people who knew and understood each other could.

Their family tension was painfully uncomfortable, squeezing at my insides. I could identify the illness, but I didn't have the immunities for it. My peacekeeping efforts wouldn't work here, it wasn't mine to keep.

With clear apprehension, Rose cast her eyes my way. I nodded back, knowing the silent question she asked.

Jim heaved a sigh, but Rose cut him off, her voice reed thin. "I have something to say. It'll make things clearer, but it won't make you think any better of me."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, squeezing her to my side. "Do you want me to say it?"

She shook her head. Wiping her nose on the sleeve of her blazer, she went on, "Bill and I date other people."

Kelly rolled her eyes—the gesture was exactly like her daughters.

"What is this hippy-dippy horseshit?" Jim growled. He pointed a finger at me. "So, you're okay with this, son?"

"We're just friends," Rose tried to explain.

"You and Lawrence?" Kelly demanded.

"No, me and Bill."

But Kelly continued talking as if Rose hadn't spoken. "That boy has been in love with you his entire life. Be with him or leave him alone."

"I tried," Rose said. Tears clung to her eyelashes.

"I want to stay out of your business." Kelly pressed her fingers to her forehead. "But then we catch you with your ex-boyfriend in the high school auditorium. Half the town was there! You're lucky it was us who found you."

"Or what, Mom?" Lizzy spoke up. "She'd ruin her reputation?"

"Lisianthus Marie." Kelly held up a finger in warning.

"Why are you so mad?" Gesturing a hand at me, still hugging Rose to my side, her shoulders rising and falling with shaky breaths. "Will isn’t mad. Look at him. She's trying to talk to you. She's trying to be honest, and you won't listen. Sometimes you make it so hard. Just close your mouth and listen."

For a few moments, the only sounds were Rose's sniffles. She opened her mouth, but then she shut it again. After one more deep breath, she forced out, "Will and I aren't dating. We're just good friends. I lied to you—"

"We lied to you," I confirmed, shame burning my cheeks.

Kelly gripped the fabric of her blouse over her heart. Behind her, Jim took a step back. I had never felt so small.

Lizzy straightened her back. "Me too. I knew too."

Rose let out a watery chuckle that fortified her. "We thought it would help the show. And I needed an excuse to stay away from Lawrence, and you see how well that worked.”

Her words grew harsh. “Because I know , Mom."

Kelly blinked at the abrupt switch in Rose's tone.

She went on, "The audacity that you would know him more than me. 'His entire life ,' you don't say."

"Bring it back to the apology," Lizzy suggested, as I muttered, "Sounding less like sorry."

"Right."

"You lied about dating?" Deep furrows lined Jim's forehead.

"Isn't this just something famous people do?" Kelly asked.

"And people trying to be famous, apparently," I grumbled. The idea of telling her parents had been embarrassing, doing it was mortifying.

Rose swiped the heel of her hand across her wet cheeks. "Right, I am sorry."

"Me too." I wished I had a hole to crawl into. "We had it all reasoned out. It wasn't supposed to hurt you."

I resisted the urge to pace, choosing between what would be the right thing to do and how badly I didn't want to do it. Looking over Rose's head, I tried to burn into my memory the shape of Lizzy's lips, and the slope of her neck under the bun of her hair.

You'll see her again . But with the tension in the room too thick to take a normal breath, I couldn't ignore that I might have to fight for the chance.

Steeling myself, I breathed in a deep breath. "I'll find a ticket back to Kansas City."

Jim took in Rose, Lizzy, and then me. I held his eye, unwilling to show any cowardice—I wouldn't add that to the reasons he should hate me.

"To spend Christmas alone?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'll be fine."

"No."

Kelly shot him a questioning look.

"That ice storm is rolling in, anyway. They'll be cancelling flights," he said to her, then he nodded once, as if decided. "You did a dumb thing. I don't know exactly what to think right now, but you're probably not a bad person. You might even be a good friend to my daughter—regardless of how hair-brained this whole idea was. You're staying. You're not spending Christmas alone."

I rubbed at the back of my neck. It was generous, more kind than I deserved. I didn't want to leave Rose to deal with the chaos I'd helped create.

Kelly sighed. "He's right, stay."

My gaze flicked to Lizzy, but she looked away as soon as our eyes met. It could be nothing. I could be paranoid reading her cues incorrectly, but my heart skittered.

With a completely unexpected change of subject, Kelly asked. "Who wants a snack?" She turned for the fridge. Then spoke with her face in the open door. "I'm too tuckered out for dinner. I've got half a cheeseball left over from the office party. Lizzy, will you grab the cookies out of the cupboard? Jim, will you get everyone a drink?"

Rose tilted her head, blinking. "Are we just done talking?"

Her mom shrugged, placing a tray on the counter. "I don't know what else to say. This is a lot to think about. But for the first time in so. Many. Years, I have two daughters that like being in the same room. And that makes me want to celebrate Christmas."

In a matter of minutes, we huddled around the counter with cheese, crackers, and cookies. I accepted the beer Jim offered. Anxiety slowly dissipated, releasing the tension in my shoulders. It wasn't gone, but it was better.

Eventually, Rose spoke up, "Can we talk about how sad the orchestra's I'll be Home for Christmas was?"

Lizzy nodded, her eyebrows shooting up. My fingers tingled to wipe away the red icing on the corner of her mouth. Not that I would under the circumstances. Not that it seemed like she'd want that right now.

"I thought it was boring," Jim said.

Kelly accepted the cracker spread with cheese her husband offered. "I didn't know that song could be ten minutes long."

Little by little, they fell into their normal pattern, chatting and playfully picking on each other. I smiled but I was eager for an opportunity to talk to Lizzy alone. Something had upset her at the school before everything else happened. I wanted to know that she was all right. That we were all right.

After a few minutes, her parents went to the basement to watch Prancer , again. And Rose announced she was going to take a shower. Lizzy wouldn't look at me, her head tipped down. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.

Waiting, I let the silence stretch on until I couldn't take it any longer. Until my stomach had turned over too many times and I didn't feel well.

I leaned my elbows on the countertop. "You, okay?"

She shrugged. "Fine."

"You seem like you're not."

She jerked her shoulder again. Brushing the curls around her temple back, she took a drink of her wine.

"Was it just the stress of…everything?" I let the one word describe the Rose and Lawrence situation, and the following conversation with her parents.

She shook her head. She finally looked at me.

My pulse was heavy and sluggish. I saw what was coming while wishing to be wrong, hoping that I could say the right thing. Something that would set her at ease.

She set her glass down with a clink. "Did you see that picture of us?"

"Yeah, but it's not bad. The response seems…kind."

"Does that sort of thing happen often?"

"People recognizing me?"

"Sure, or strangers taking pictures of you and posting them online?"

My stomach churned. "Not often."

She'd gone perfectly still, and I understood the tell for what it was.

"Are you okay? Do you feel unsafe?" I asked.

"No. Nervous would be a better word."

"Why?"

"I just…" she swallowed. "I don't like it. I know it must seem small to you. But my social media is a LinkedIn for my work. I don't…I don't cultivate attention. I don't want it."

"We can keep our relationship quiet, private, just like you said we should. We could be more careful about how we are in public. Rose and I talked earlier about announcing a quote-en-quote breakup sooner rather than later. Lizzy, it doesn't happen often, I promise. You'll see that."

"Unless the show gets picked up."

"Even if that happens, we won't be famous. We'll have a slightly larger group of people who know us, but not a lot."

"I don't know…"

"I'll shield you from it."

"How?" The word was hardly more than air, as if her throat had grown tight.

I clenched my teeth, at a loss.

"It's okay," she sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as me. "It was exciting while it lasted."

"No, don't talk like that. You know what happens less than a random posting a picture of me?" I waved my hand in the chasm growing between us. But she'd hidden her face. " This . A connection like this. I was drawn to you from the first time I saw you. And it's grown stronger every time since—every time I've kissed you, touched you. This is exceptional. I've never felt it before, and I'll never feel it again."

"How do you know?" she whispered.

It was so obvious. I couldn't believe that I had to say it aloud. "Because there is no other you."

She met my eyes, unshed tears clinging to hers. "I don't know if I can, Will."

"No, Lizzy," I pleaded.

"It's better to stop now. It'll just be harder later."

"It won't. It's already too hard. Come on. This isn't what either of us wants ."

"Wanting something doesn't make it meant to be."

Reaching a hand to her face, I cupped her chin, urging her to meet my gaze. "But we are."

She shook her head and took a step back. It was the wrong direction. All of this was the wrong direction.

Two words laid my once flying hopes to rest. Buried. Dead.

"I can't."

Lizzy

Six Nights Before Christmas

I stretched, sore in the best way, an echoing ache of the night before. My body remembering before my brain found consciousness. A big hand snaked up my hip, wrapping a powerful arm around my waist and pulling me against his chest. Will nuzzled his nose into my hair and groaned, rumbling against my back, quaking through my core, thundering in my chest. Such a small noise, for its overwhelming effect.

This was a morning I wanted to repeat over and over and over.

A lifetime of these mornings , I didn't know the silent prayer was in my mind until it was fully formed flying on wishful thinking.

"I could get used to this." Will's sleep worn voice in my ear.

"Yeah," I answered lamely, suddenly conscious of how bad my breath must be.

Moving my hair from my naked shoulder, his lips drew a random constellation on my skin. My self-consciousness disappeared with every burst of sensation until a sigh escaped my lips and I was languid under his attention. He urged me onto my back, his elbows on either side of my face supporting his weight. My eyelids fluttered open. Above me, he took me in.

"I didn't expect you, Lizzy."

Something that had laid dormant possibly my entire life, stirred in my chest. A reckless desire that I gave myself too freely. With only a single night of proof. A few hours of connection. A deep, unexplained knowing . I gave myself to something more substantial than hope.

This beautiful man was mine.

And I was wasted to all other men in his wake.

The scruff on his cheek and jaw scraped against my palm. His expressive eyes rolled and closed, overwhelmed by my touch.

"I've never liked the unexpected before," I said. "But I like this."

Lowering, he pressed a tender kiss to my mouth. My leg hooked over his hip—twining us together in the most natural way.

The morning just kept getting better and better.