Aching for His Discretion (The Discretion Dynasty #1)

40. Teegan

Chapter forty

Teegan

I smiled happily as I entered Levi’s dining room, only to see more balloons, congratulatory banners as well as a few gifts on the table. The food seemed rather hot and still fresh, and it was surf and turf-themed, one of my favorites!

Levi hugged me from behind, placing kisses on my head again as I let out a content sigh. He was being very affectionate, and I didn’t complain at all.

“Come sit, baby,” he said, pulling out a chair, and I sat beside him happily.

Taking a bite of the shrimp, he watched as I grew even more elated.

“So good…” I practically moaned, and he took in a deep breath as he sipped his whiskey.

“Glad you like it,” he said with a slight rasp, and I took another bite as he grabbed a gift box from the table. Looking over at it, I bit my lip as he opened it and pulled something out.

A photo of the two of us was framed beautifully. I smiled softly as he placed a kiss on the back of my hand. It was a picture of us sitting together as I lay against him while showing him my trusty flashcards. I don’t know how he set the camera up or even took the picture, but I loved every single thing about this captured moment.

“I wanted you to have this. Something to remember me… remember us by, hmm?” he muttered, and I shook my head.

“What... why—”

He shushed me softly as he stood, placing his hands softly on the side of my face.

“We’re not going to talk about that right now, baby… not right now,” he muttered, and I looked up at him as he ran his hands through my hair. I so desperately wanted to know what was on his mind.

I wanted to what he meant by “something to remember him, remember us by,” but I didn’t want to spoil the moment. Not when I just got him back after we’d lost one another.

We were silent for a moment, and I said the one thing I had been dying to tell him for such a long time.

“I love you, Levi… you know that, right?” I whispered.

He sighed as he caressed the side of my face.

“Words... cannot express the love I have for you, Tesoro. If only you knew. I’d die for you. I live only for you... You know I’d even kill for you. Everything I am, everything I do or ever will do is for you, do you understand?” he asked, and I nodded as I placed a hand against his clothed chest, just wanting to touch him after being separated for so long.

He pulled one hand away from me and placed a bit of food on the fork before holding it up to my mouth. I ate it wordlessly, and he hummed as he continued to caress my hair softly.

“I love you so fucking much,” he whispered, and I bit my lip as he leaned down to be at eye level.

Feeling his lips on mine, I moaned softly as I brought my hands up to his hair. He picked me up by the arms, and I gasped as he placed me down on a desk in corner.

I shuddered as he kissed my neck and bunched up my dress. Leaning my head back, I moaned as his hands dipped into my underwear, and he hummed as I moaned at his touch.

“Oh, you’re so fucking wet, Tesoro…” he whispered, and I bit my lip as one of his fingers entered me slowly.

I gasped as he looked down at me possessively. I had missed his tender and possessive touch so much that I was practically craving his hands on me. My body was practically aching to be under his control and I wasn’t going to fight it.

“Feels good, hmm?” he asked, and I whimpered as he went faster.

“So good…”

He pulled his finger out, causing me to whine slightly. He lightly slapped my thigh, causing me to jump as he unbuckled his belt.

“Greedy little girl. I’ll fuck you how I want to, hmm? Better beg if you want it that bad,” he muttered degradingly, and my cheeks flushed.

“Levi...” I whined, and he tilted his head as he unzipped his pants. I would never get used to that look in his eyes. The look that reminded me I was his. That he loved me… that he couldn’t wait to take what was his.

“Tesoro... baby, you can do better than that.”

“Please… I need you,” I whispered, tears of desperation in my eyes, and he palmed himself at the sight of my disheveled hair, hanging shoulder strap, and tear-stained face.

If I was feeling my normal self, I would have felt embarrassed for how needy I was acting, but I couldn’t care much about how I looked. Not when his eyes were hungrily taking me in with no complaints.

“Need me, huh? You need me to fuck that little cunt, don’t you, baby?” he asked, and I nodded quickly.

“Please, I—” I began and gasped as he entered me, hooking his arms under my knees as I sat on the desk. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he entered me, using my body to please himself.

“Fuck, this little pussy is so tight…” he moaned, leaning his head back, and I moaned as he continued pounding deep inside of me.

“L-Levi...” I whispered and went harder. I didn’t know how much I missed being filled like this until this moment.

“What is it, baby? Want me to slow down?”

I squeezed his shoulder as he went even deeper. My legs were trembling, and he shushed me softly as he continued his brutal pace.

“Cum on my cock, baby… it’s okay,” he assured me, and I placed my hand over my mouth as I came. He placed a kiss on my lips, never stopping once to give me a break, and I looked up at him with teary eyes as I could already feel my next release coming.

All of a sudden, he grabbed my neck, and I inhaled as he went harder, placing pressure on my jugular. I gazed up at him, vulnerably, and he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Listen to me,” he said darkly, and my eyes widened as he jerked me closer to him by the neck. Part of me was frightened as his hand was cutting off my air and circulation, however there was still a naughty spark of arousal that seemed to slip past my fear.

“I’m fucking letting you go. Do you understand? I’m choosing to let you go and to be on your own. I’m choosing to let you be free and pursue your career… We both know I could’ve talked you into staying, hmmm, pretty girl?” he muttered, and I whimpered as I still felt him deep inside of me.

“You can go to Maryland… You can go to the other side of the fucking world for that matter, but remember that you will always belong to me. Your feelings, your heart, your smile, your little pussy… all of it is fucking mine. And if I find out that someone else… touched what’s mine, they’re fucking dead. Do I make myself clear?” he asked, and I nodded quickly as I felt myself become unintentionally wetter at his rather serious threat.

Before I could question it further, he let go of my neck and pulled out, causing me to gasp at the now-empty feeling. He turned me around and pushed me forward to lean over the desk before I felt him enter me again. My eyes rolled back as he went faster, forcing my release to approach quicker.

“Fuck, you’re so good for me…” he muttered, and I threw my head back as my legs shook again.

“You can take it, baby. Fuck, my dirty little girl,” he whispered, and I slapped the table, causing the lamp to fall over as he reached around my waist, his hand toying with my clit.

“That’s it… come on. Milk my fucking cock… good girl,” he whispered in my hair as he continued relentlessly.

My mind felt foggy as my eyes began to feel droopy, and he gripped my hips tightly as he used me slowly. Looking back, I could see the sweat on his face as he hissed slightly.

“I need to cum in this little cunt... cum with me, baby. Fuck, this shit is too fucking good.”

He moaned in my ear, and I convulsed as I grabbed his hand, letting go as my eyes rolled to the back of head. Losing my balance, I was grateful that the table was holding me up as I could barely stand with my trembling legs.

After we both came undone, I felt so drowsy and sleepy, which was a normal occurrence after our… fun time.

Levi breathed in deeply, and he placed a lingering kiss on my back as I shuddered softly. He pulled away and pulled my dress down slowly.

One moment, I was in his arms as he ascended the stairs. The next, I found myself cuddling into his chest as we sat in the lavender-scented bath.

His hands caressed my back softly as I listened to the sound of his heart beating. I traced my finger on his arm and sighed softly as he placed a kiss in my hair. His words from earlier lingered in my mind and part of me began to feel sad at the idea of leaving once again. Even though I had made that choice—

I wanted you to have this. Something to remember me… remember us by, hmm?

— it seemed as though he was also making a choice for me… for us as well.

“What’s wrong, Tesoro?” he asked after a moment.

“You’re letting me leave,” I whispered, and he sighed.

“Tesoro…”

“You’re not even putting up a fight to get me to stay.”

“Let’s not talk about this now—” he began, but I cut him off.

“Why? Is it because you already gave me something to remember you... us?” I asked, and he sighed as I pulled away from him, crossing my arms defensively over my exposed chest.

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” I pressed, and he remained silent.

He’d lost the somewhat calm look in his eyes, and they were now empty, empty of any emotion, almost as if he was trying to shut them off.

“You gave me a million reasons to run away. And when I did, you always brought me back, you always fought for me. But now it’s different, hmmm? Because I’m the one begging you to tell me not to leave even after all you’ve put me through, and you just want to push me away!” I said, progressively getting angrier.

“Teegan,” he muttered, and I stood up and quickly grabbed the towel as tears fell from my eyes.

Exiting the bathroom, I began putting on some comfortable clothes that I’d left here a few months back.

He came out of the bathroom and leaned against the door frame.

“Right now... I’m not good for you,” he said, and I whipped around to face him, my heart pounding in my chest. Not good for me? He wasn’t good for me when he manipulated me into believing his lies. He wasn’t good for me when he followed me to my parents’ home and coerced me into accepting his apology. He wasn’t good for me when he impulsively reacted to anybody who was seemingly a threat to me.

Elliot’s words from a while back surfaced in my mind.

What I don’t like about you, Teegan… is also exactly what I do like about you, what I think would be good for Levi to have around him. But he… we may not be good for you.

In the past, Levi wasn’t good to me, yet I fell in love with him despite that. I looked past everything that made me question being with him because I couldn’t ignore the attraction and aching feeling I had to be with him.

He never questioned whether or not he was good for me in the past. But now? Now when I had finally fallen in love with him, that was his concern?

“You were never good for me, Levi,” I whispered, each word drenched in anger. “But that didn’t stop you then. Why is it different now? Why do you get to make that decision?!” I asked angrily.

He approached me slowly. “I didn’t make this fucking decision, Teegan. You did . You told me I needed help, you told me we needed time apart, you told me I hurt you. ”

I felt taken aback. I did this?

“How exactly is any of this my fault? You’re the one who wanted to force me to stay in the first place. And when I pushed you away, you still forced yourself back into my life.”

“I forced myself back into your life because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you…” he said, his voice low and controlled. “And in that process, I hurt the woman I never wanted to hurt in a million fucking years, Teegan. I love you too much to hurt you again.”

Which is why he’s letting me go…

“So why? Why even come to my graduation? Why apologize to make me forgive you? Why tell me you love me and that I’m yours if you’re going to just throw me away?”

“Because... I didn’t know how to say goodbye. I didn’t want you to leave without closure,” he admitted.

I bit my lip as I simply stared at him. “And... and you thought breaking up with me on the day of my graduation... after having sex and telling me you love me… would bring me closure?” I asked, tears falling down my face angrily.

He shook his head. “I didn’t mean for it to come out this way.”

“Well, it did,” I whispered, feeling used as I grabbed my belongings and walked out of his room.

Picking up my phone, I dialed Elliot, and he picked up on the first ring.

“Teegan?” he said over the phone, and I sniffled softly as I responded.

“I want to go home. Can you or one of the guys pick me up?”

“What happened, Little Mama?” I heard Nico ask, and I shook my head as I wiped my tears.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I just want to go home. If you guys could help me pack, I’ll finish up tonight, have lunch with my parents tomorrow, and ask them if they would be willing to make the trip to my new place with me.”

“Teegan...” Micah said, and I held back a sob.

“Please, guys. I-I just want to go home,” I whispered.

It was silent for a moment before Elliot spoke again.

“We’ll be there soon.”

I ended the call and sat on the couch as I waited. Eventually, the door opened, and Nico was the first over to me. He wiped my tear-stained cheeks softly as I smiled sadly.

Micah came over to grab a few things, however Elliot walked straight past me. He went toward Levi’s room, and I heard a thump… almost as if it was a punching sound.

I quickly looked over my shoulder as Elliot shook his hand in slight pain and irritation while coming back over. I went to speak, and he nodded toward the door.

“Let’s go. We need to get you packed up and ready to move,” he stated, and I simply nodded as they grabbed my gifts and other belongings before walking me outside.

As I walked, I glanced down at the framed picture I was holding. The gift I was the most excited for, despite not seeing the other gifts… it reminded me how we went from happy and in love to miserable and separated.

Maybe this was for the best. Maybe… maybe he was right. He wasn’t good for me, I thought to myself as my fingers played with the diamond necklace.

And it took me falling in love to realize that it was the best and worst mistake I’ve ever made.