AJ’s Fire (Hampstead Valley #3)

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Jackson

Don’t overthink it , Emily had texted. Don’t get up in your head , AJ had intimated. And yet I had SO MANY THOUGHTS, but I set them all aside and focused on us, AJ and me, face-to-face, well, almost face-to-face. I was standing, and he was sitting. Also, I couldn’t really look at him; my gaze was firmly fixed over his left shoulder, watching the snowfall in the glow of the faint streetlight down the road. We were both gloriously naked and hard.

I was slotted between his legs, and he was trailing his fingertips up and down my sides. Goose bumps popped up all over my body, and the sensation chased itself from the place where his fingers met my sides, traveling throughout my body, landing in a pulsing strain that rippled through my dick, which leaked like a fountain along the crease of my thigh.

His dick twitched again, and I finally found the bravery to stop babbling about his arms and look directly at it. I found him looking up at me.

“Tell me what you want.” He smiled at me with heavy-lidded eyes. I had seen him like this once or twice before, when we’d shared the hot tub downstairs with women. Those times we’d only ever looked at each other long enough for one of us to realize we needed to take our date elsewhere if we didn’t want to have sex in front of each other. Every time, one or the other of us hightailed it out of there to head behind closed doors.

Looking at him in such a state of arousal caused my heart to thump, the feel of it pulsing through my entire body. He looked beautiful in the soft light, gazing up at me with such concern, all of his attention and energy on me. I wanted so much to convince him that he hadn’t made a mistake, chasing me to the cabin, or kissing me, or getting naked with me. Fuck, I was overthinking again, wasn’t I?

I wanted so much to make him feel good. My thoughts focused, and that became all that mattered.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I finally replied as I let out a nervous little chuckle.

He sighed and laughed along with me. “Yeah, neither do I, but we’ve made it this far, and it's not like we’re virgins. We just …” He shrugged, then tugged on my arm. “I think we’ll figure it out.” He kept hold of my hand as he made his way up the bed, and I followed, hovering over him.

I propped my arms on either side of him and stared as he sat up against the headboard, my eyes darting everywhere, attempting to catalog everything about him.

His hands found my arms, rubbing reassuringly as he repeated, “Tell me what you want.” I answered the question by dropping my weight on him and kissing him again, my entire body singing as we touched each other from head to toe. He opened his legs, and I slotted between them, my cock brushing his directly for the first time. We stopped kissing at the same time to gasp at the sensation.

“Yeah, wow,” AJ whispered.

“Wait,” I said, reaching over to the nightstand where I had deposited supplies earlier in anticipation of an encounter very different from the one I was having. AJ’s eyes followed the motion, and he raised an eyebrow when I opened the drawer.

“Safety first,” I muttered as I grabbed the lube but started to shut the drawer on the condoms.

“Wait!” he said. “What. Do. You. Want?”

AJ and I talked about everything, so I knew he had performed anal sex before. Remembering that we used to talk about everything made it easier to say, “I do want to feel what that’s like at some point, but ...”

“Yeah, okay. I want that too.”

My eyes went wide momentarily at his confession. An hour ago, I wouldn’t have believed AJ capable of even kissing another man, yet here he was confessing to wanting to be fucked. I reached in and pulled out the condoms, a nervous, questioning look on my face. AJ seemed to clock my anxiousness and took the condoms from my hands. “And we’ll get there, Jax.”

He placed the box on the nightstand before pulling me back to him. We kissed some more, me lying on top of him, with his hands running up and down my spine until I was a writhing mess. Eventually, he rolled us on our sides.

“Are you ready, cari?o ?” I thought my heart would explode at the endearment, so I felt the need to play it off.

“You go to one lecture about a Spanish poet at the Y…”

He laughed, but then simply asked again, “Are you ready?” We were lying face-to-face, practically touching in a dozen places but not touching at all except where our hands rested on each other's sides.

I nodded slowly, and he kissed me lightly as he took my hand in his and guided it down to his member. My arousal was right there next to it, and he placed my hand on his cock before grasping mine. We both squeezed and tugged cautiously, and we both hitched a breath at the sensation.

“Wow.” AJ smiled. “Okay. Yeah, um, wow.” I started to stroke him, but he stayed still, with his hand on my dick, making these adorable, shocked sounds.

He leaned in and brushed my lips. “Uh-huh,” he mumbled. “Just like that.”

“Wait!” I pulled back and reached over him for the lube, returning to catch him looking in wonder at his hand still on my dick.

“AJ?”

Oh my God, Jackson.” He jumped me then, flipping me over until he was on top. He kissed me briefly but insistently, seeking out my hand and taking the lube. He leaned back and covered one of his with the gel. It felt like we wouldn’t even need it with the amount of pre-cum coating my lower region from our grinding and thrusting.

“We have all night, right, cari?o ?”

All I could do was nod.

“I need you to fucking make me come right now. I need your hand on me, jerking me off. You, Jackson,” he said in amazement.

He grasped my hand and melded it with his until my palm was as slick with lube as his was. Then he reached between us and grabbed me once more.

It was my turn to babble as he began tugging and squeezing. “Oh fuck, just like that, baby. Just like that.” I didn’t know what AJ called his hookups, maybe they were all his “ cari?o ,” but I was always very careful to avoid terms of endearment. That night, it slipped out unbidden.

I rolled us back to our sides and took him in hand too. Our faces remained close, and he whispered, “It’s so different doing it to you, like I’m backward and in heels. Does it feel okay?” I wanted to laugh at his reference, but at that exact moment, it felt so okay that all I could do was moan and let out a terse, focused nod.

We continued to jerk each other off, too intent on the task at hand to keep kissing. We huffed each other’s breath, grunting as our hands and dicks knocked into each other. Our eyes locked until the feeling became too intense, and I had to look away. I snuck a glance down at the frenzy between us, and I knew AJ was doing the same when his forehead leaned into mine.

“It’s so different, doing it to someone else,” he said again, marveling over it and babbling once more. “I’ll do this anytime you want, Jackson. It feels so fucking good. Just want to make you feel good. Just need to see you smile.” He leaned back as if the sensations were getting to him as he said, “I just want to hear you come.” Only he’s the one that came on the word, shouting it out until it turned into, “I’m coming, I’m coming!” And for the first time, outside of porn, I was witnessing another man ejaculate. Not only witnessing it but feeling it as the warm release dripped down my fingers.

Hot , I thought, but maybe also said out loud as I swatted AJ’s hand away and replaced it with my own, my fingers now covered in his juices. I was a desperate mess as I demanded, “Watch me.” Through his dazed afterglow, AJ lifted up on his elbows and raised his head, and we both watched as my slicked, cum-soaked hand rode up and down my heavy shaft.

“Yeah, fucking hot,” AJ agreed with the lopsided grin I’d always loved lighting up his face.

A few more beats, and AJ sat up, clambering over as I lay back, and he planted himself between my legs.

“I love it when they do this,” he said as he began to fondle my balls, getting a little rougher and tugging at them as I continued my work. “You gonna come for me like this, Jackson? Scream for me like I screamed for you?”

“Yes.” I had meant it as an answer, but it became my cry of, “Yes, yes yes,” as I came so hard that some of it landed on AJ’s chin.

For a split second, I thought about being embarrassed. This man who, as far as I knew, before that night had never once entertained being with a man, was now sitting between my legs, nestling my balls in one hand, my cum dripping down his chin.

The notion only lasted for a flash before AJ’s face spread into a mischievous smile as he swiped the spot with his thumb and then sucked it into his mouth without hesitation. I swear my dick twitched at the sight, even in its spent state. I know the sound I made was nothing short of a growl as he took his time sucking that digit.

“I’ve always wondered.” He shrugged. “Never even tasted my own.”

I flopped back on the bed. This man was going to kill me.

“Stay right there, cari?o . Do not fucking move. God, look at you.” He reached his hands out; was he going to grab my thighs? Instead, he hoisted himself over me and off the bed as he said, “Fuck. I’ll be right back.”

And he was, two towels in hand, using the wet one on his dick as he walked toward me. Watching him had me thinking it again: this man will kill me .

He used the same washcloth to first wipe off my hand, then the evidence of my pleasure from my chest and stomach before venturing lower. He hesitated for only a second before touching my shaft with the cloth only, but I caught it.

Then he ran the dry towel over my sweaty forehead, looking at me with such adoration, before drying us off and tossing both towels to the floor.

He flopped onto the bed next to me, and the two of us laid shoulder to shoulder, heads slightly propped on pillows, looking down at our feet.

“We should probably talk,” AJ ventured.

“I still don’t understand what you’re doing here. This is like a dream.”

“That was no dream, Jax. That was fucking amazing.” He tipped his head toward me conspiratorially. “And all we did was jack each other off!”

I put my hands to my face and muttered, “Oh my God, AJ. What have we done?”

“We fucked, man. And it was fun. No, it was amazing! I told you not to overthink it. You’re overthinking it.” He hovered over me with that bright, goofy smile on his face. “Should I distract you again?”

I pushed him off me until he was sitting back again. “Stop teasing me, Alexander Jeremy.”

“Oh, I am not teasing you, I am one hundred percent serious. Any place, any time. That was …”

Instead of finishing, AJ’s fingertips began to brush down his own chest toward the dark patch of hair that nestled his spent member.

“AJ!”

He laughed at me, moving that arm to wrap it instead over my shoulder. I stiffened at first, but he rolled me toward him, and I nestled into his side, my head on his shoulder.

“Can you talk to me now, please, Jackson? Is this the secret? Is this what’s got you so tied up in knots that we’re going to poetry readings at the Y?”

“Yes,” I said, though it was only half true. If it had only been about telling AJ that I was into guys, he was right, I could have told him way before then. I knew, from the way he acted with his brothers, from the way he acted with our queer friends and colleagues, from the way he treated the kids from the Burcus Center, that it wouldn’t have been an issue. I knew, too, that he would keep my secret if I asked.

No, the reason I had drama queened all over the past year wasn’t because I was afraid to come out to him. It was because I was afraid of my attraction to him. Afraid of what it would do to our friendship. Lying safe and comfortable in his strong arms, I couldn’t help but wonder about that very thing.

He took the hand that had been gently brushing up and down my forearm as it rested on his stomach and brought it to my head. I could feel one fingertip as he ran little circles through my hair. “I can see the cogs turning. How’s all that thinking working out for you?” The hand grazed my cheek before he tilted my head up to his.

“Look at us, Jax. Naked in your fucking bed. Smelling like sex and that posh soap you insist on using. You can tell me anything. Please,” he ended desperately.

“I don’t want to mess us up, AJ. You’re my best friend, and … I wanted to tell you.”

“People come out when they’re ready, Jax.”

“I know. But I didn’t want it to make things weird between us. And now …”

“And now …” He was still caressing my cheek, so we continued to look at each other. Finally, he shook his head and leaned toward me, kissing me gently and quickly before pulling back to flash that mischievous smile again. “You wanna know the weirdest fucking part, Jax?”

I couldn’t help but smile back when he looked at me like that. I nodded at him, feeling like some forlorn anime character, looking up at the object of their affection with gigantic doe eyes.

“It’s that none of this feels fucking weird at all.”

He kissed me again, oh so gently, lifting up and placing his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back down until he was on top of me. Then we kissed, and kissed, our hands roaming slowly, our mouths learning the feel of each other. He moaned when I dragged my tongue along his and when my fingers tickled the small of his back.

I could feel his dick hardening against my thigh. Mine was filling at the same rate. He had accused me of overthinking, but my only thought was him as he pulled away, only moving far enough to kiss my neck and behind my ear. To blow on the spot before finding his way, kiss by sensuous kiss, down the center of my chest.

He was licking the area around my belly button and running his hands around my abs.

“Abs really are sexy. Who knew? I could touch yours all day. Maybe one of my hands could just live under your shirt.”

The laugh just came out. I had never laughed like that during sex. Sure, I’d had drunken encounters where one or both of us thought something was funny, hilarious even. I’d had moments of embarrassment with women I hardly knew that we laughed off together. But to laugh at goofy AJ saying something goofy—I found it almost as sexy as he apparently found abs.

My laugh broke up the moment, and AJ lifted up to look at me before glancing down at my cock, which lay to the side again, stiff and leaking. He lost the smile, and his brow furrowed in a way that should have been concerning, but coupled with the lustful look in his eyes, it just endeared him to me even more.

“Been thinking about this for months. I’m gonna try. If that’s okay?”

I meant to say something along the lines of You don’t have to or Only if you want to or Are you sure? , but what came out was, “Fuck, yeah,” and that was enough to get that smile back on AJ’s face.