Alamort

22. Priya

I might as well have lit the match and dug her grave myself. The broken ribs I was nursing that day were nothing compared to the broken heart I ended up with.

“What? No way.” Her face scrunches up as she shakes her head, refusing to believe me. Pulling her shoulder away from my head, she stares at me. Only to go back to shaking her head in disbelief. “There’s absolutely no way. I don’t believe that. I’ve witnessed with my own two eyes how you talk about your sister. Tell me what happened.” The only person who wants to hear the truth. My truth,

With a forced smile, I gaze back into the flames.

“My parents don’t like me very much. They never have, even as a small child. Constantly trying to pit Addison and I against each other.” I believe their intentions were to get her to hate me as much as they did. “But it never worked. Addison was more of a mother than our mom was to me.” Telling her this was to stress my sister’s importance to me. “She was an overachiever. Regardless of how they treated us, we wanted them to accept and love us. She was a cheerleader, dated the ‘hottest’ guy at school, did volunteer work for the community. All around, she was just the kindest person you could know.” I could be romanticizing her death and that’s a different kind of stupid. This little bit of hope is keeping me alive. It’s hard to think about any of the negative things people did when they die. It’s usually focused on everything good they have done. But Addi has always been my hero, before and after the incident.

“They wanted me to be more like her. So, by joining extracurricular activities like her, I thought it would make them happy. Chess - boring, by the way. And soon after I added tutoring. On one of my days, I had to tutor a boy having trouble in history class. I’d never met him, but it was my easiest subject. She knew I was having a bad day. Worst one in weeks.” It was the same week my dad had hired a new private doctor after the first one reported the abuse I was being subjected to. The doctor drew the line when my dad had broken one of my ribs for the first time by kicking me too hard. Addison didn’t know the extent of it, but she tried to make my life a little easier by letting me rest.

“My sister offered to take my tutoring session. I should’ve said no. Sucked up whatever I was going through and went.” Maybe things would have ended differently for her. For me. “When I dropped her off, I was supposed to pick her up and hour later, and she was going to take me to my spot to burn some things. Let off some tension. When I got there, the library was up in flames.” My eyes sting from remembering feeling like my chest had caved in. The hopelessness that followed the shattering of my heart.

“The library was in flames. After they put out the fire, two bodies were found.” Deciding its best to disassociate from her death and push through the story. “Both were burn beyond recognition. A male and female, later confirmed to be my sister and the boy she was with. It was a closed casket. Our parents made sure only immediate family could attend her funeral. It wasn’t posted, talked about, or even mentioned that she had died.” My parents thought it was best to not make it known to the public. They said it would ruin their perfect image, but I think they were in denial about losing their star child.

Everyone acted like the world hadn’t lost meaning. As if her death meant nothing.

With a sense of release, I let out a deep breath as the weight on my shoulders disappears. All the people I’ve talked to assumed I was guilty. They were never interested in the truth.

River’s brows furrow. “Wait… That doesn’t make sense. You say it like you weren’t there.” Shaking my head, I should’ve been, but I wasn’t.

“Then who set the fire?”

According to everyone else and the paper I signed. I did.

“All I heard was that there was a fire accelerant spread around.” My gaze goes from the dying fire to the accelerant I have.

“There’s no proof? You weren’t there but because you like fire, it was you? Did anyone check cameras? Ask if they even saw you there?” The only acknowledgment I give is a half shrug of my shoulders. Not one person asked. I don’t know if my parents told the lawyers about my obsession with fire and they made a deal. Or they didn’t do anything at all.

“In my parent’s eyes, I’m guilty.” Shock overrides her other questions at the admission.

“W-What?” she stutters.

“Yep.”

“My parents would never do that… They love me.” She blinks and bursts out laughing. My shoulders shake with laughter. That’s so fucked up that it’s funny. Tears slide down my face from laughing so hard.

“That’s fucked up.” I say between wheezing fits of laughter.

“I know! I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to think it was something I could relate to. Because I have never been through it. I couldn’t resist. It was a tense moment for me. Maybe not my finest,” she says while wiping tears from under her eyes.

“Thank you.”

She squeezes my hand, pulling me up to my feet.

“Let’s get back. These woods are creepy at night. I always feel like I’m being watched. And the fire is pretty much out.” The scent of charred wood lingers, marking the end of the once roaring fire. A pang of longing hits me before I follow River’s lead out of the woods, sparing a look into the forest. The looming trees seem to stretch out their boney fingers, beckoning me to come back. Their long arm-like branches are reaching for me. Back to the pit.