priya
No word today. I think I have brain damage. Thoughts hurt. Iloveyou.
“ O w, ow, ow.” I hiss as the sunlight hits my eyes, the pounding of my heartbeat in my head. Pain radiates through every inch of my body. Carefully, I press my fingers against the back of my head, where most of the pressure is building up. For the past hour, I've been contemplating getting out of bed. I instinctively bring my hands up to my eyes, desperate to block out the overwhelming light. I fumble for the remote control that seals off the outside world to create a pitch-black haven within these walls.
On the first try, I miss it completely, and my fingers graze it on the second attempt. With a sense of resignation, I release my grip and allow my hands to go slack, grabbing a pillow to cover my face, accepting defeat. I would scream if I could, but that would only worsen the pain.
A feminine throat clears in the room’s corner.
“God, is that you?” My hoarse voice croaks out. The remote lands on my chest with a smack. “Ow, bitch. Definitely not a merciful God.”
“The nurse is on her way up here. I suggest you change your clothes. You’re halfway naked and on top of that, still smell like fire from last night.” She tsks. River, sweet, sweet River. There’s something I need to ask her. A sharp pain interferes with whatever thought I was working on.
“I think I’m dying.” I groan. This feels like one of the beatings my dad gave me when I accidentally embarrassed him by thanking the waitress for helping at a charity event.
It’s kicking my ass. Speaking of my ass. I wiggle side to side on the bed, shrinking away. The rough fabric against my sore asscheeks mixes in with a dizziness that overcomes me with each movement, makes it unbearable. I forgot about this part. It’s been a while since I’ve had to nurse a concussion and an ass whoopin’. Even without a doctorates degree, I know that Bennett left me some brain damage.
Saliva fills my mouth and I know what comes next. With a jolt, I propel myself out of my bed, making a beeline for the nearest trashcan, my body wracked with dry heaves. My feet kick at the floor as I gag. My palms sting at the feel of the trash can scraping against them. Fuck, I hate this.
The cool lip of the trashcan presses against my cheek. I’ve been sitting here for hours with my eyes closed. I don’t feel great, but better. There’s a light tap on the door. River’s footsteps lightly clunk on the hardwood floor to answer it. My throbbing head worsens with each soft word spoken at the door. I need quiet.
“She’s been dry heaving for the last twenty minutes and hasn’t moved from the trashcan.” River says. “Babe, get into bed so the nurse can look you over and excuse you, at least for the day.”
On my hands and knees, I turn to make my way back to the bed, the trashcan in tow. I look pathetic but I have to admit, Bennett did a number on me. River’s soft warm hands pull me up into the bed, taking my hoodie off and throwing it somewhere in the room. The softness of the down blanket is cool against my skin, covering my breasts from the nurse's view. Why wear a bra with a hoodie? I’m a part-time member of the itty bitty titty committee. The other half of the time I’m ashamed of my body.
“All right, Miss Carter, can you tell me what you’re feeling to start off with?”
I list off what I know. “Dizziness, even when laying down. Speaking to you is making my head feel like it’s going to explode. Dry heaving in the trash can. The light hurts and I want some fucking peace and quiet.”
“Okay.” Her fingers tapping away on a tablet, the click, click, click alone is loud enough to make me flinch. “Sorry, dear. Just have to put notes into your file.” She touches me and I shrink away. If this is Nurse Lisa, I know what that mouth was doing the other day. I don’t even want to think about her hands. Sweaty old man balls. The thought makes me gag. River readies the trashcan for me.
“Do you know what day it is?” She asks. I want to say it’s Saturday since I’m still in bed, but River wouldn’t be over here that early in the morning.
“Friday?” I question. She hums and doesn’t correct me. What does that mean? Yes or no? Never a straight answer with these people.
“Do you remember what happened?” My eyes pop open and look at River, who’s only noticeable from the glow of the tablet in the nurse's hand. Her eyes widen a fraction before shaking her head. Yes, I remember the most amazing and successful fire I’ve ever created.
“No.” I lie.
“Have you ever suffered from memory problems prior to this?”
“No.” She nods and types notes into her little handheld computer. She leaves the screen on to illuminate her face as she talks.
“I think you should take the next few days to recover. Lots of sleep. Limit your screen time. Keep it dark. Over the counter meds are all I can offer. I can’t prescribe anything. I’ll make a note to the dean to excuse you for classes. And I’ll send one full meal up here.” With that, she gets up and lets herself out. The promise of food makes my stomach rumble. I’m starving. What if I throw it up? That would be a shame.
“He really got you, huh?” River grimaces. I don’t need her to tell me I look as bad as I feel. Everything fucking hurts, aches, movements, lights, and voices.
“What happened?” My voice cracks. I’m going to lose it, thanks to last night.
“What do you remember?”
Okay, Nurse River. The need to roll my eyes at her is there, but the thought of a dizzy spell prevents me from doing so.
“Um, vaguely setting the car on fire, Bennett finding me. I don’t remember exactly how I got to my room. That parts a little fuzzy.” I remember bits and pieces of the Shadow man being here. But I keep that to myself.
Staring at the comforter covering my legs, I’m suddenly transported back to that moment. Where he eagerly shared all the “juicy” details about my sister with everyone. I shrink deeper into the bed, wanting to hide. I clench my fists tightly, feeling my nails digging into the raw, open flesh of my palms as I fight back tears. He told everyone I killed her. The stinging in my eyes prompts me to lift my gaze to avoid crying hysterically. There’s a lot of shit I can take, but my sister didn’t deserve to be remembered that way.
“I brought some prescription pain pills. Open up.” My eyes stay closed when I stick my tongue out. Today I’m choosing to take the help where I can get it. “I think… today we will spend it sleeping and relaxing. I’m going to get my headphones. Just because you have to be in silence doesn’t mean I do. But I will suffer missing two days of school for you.” She winks at me from the door before leaving me alone. I want to close my eyes for a little, and then I’ll deal with everything later. I still need to tell her what I found out about Megan.