Alamort

43. Priya

A gentle whisper carries my name. “Priya.”

Choosing to ignore it, I roll over and sink deeper into the fluffy comforter, enjoying the warmth and coziness.

“Priya.” What will it take to shut it up? The headache has dulled to bearable and I’m not throwing up, so that’s a plus.

“Priya!” As the seconds pass, the voice becomes increasingly louder, making it impossible to go back to sleep.

“Hmmm!” More of a ‘What the fuck do you want?’

“Someone was at the door.” That jolts me upright, instantly wide-eyed and alert. River is standing beside the door. She looks small, her arms holding herself in the shadows of the moonlight. Carefully, I slide my hand under the far pillow, feeling for the familiar shape of my razor blade. It isn’t much, but it’s all I have.

My bare toes touch the frigid hardwood floor, sending a shiver down through my body. Cautiously, I tiptoe towards the door, fearing that it might betray me with a creak. My Shadow man wouldn’t hesitate to make himself at home in my room but he’s also never visited when I had a visitor.

With a quick glance through the peephole, I strain to make out any details in the dimly lit hallway. Since there are only two of us on this floor and we don’t have any friends aside from each other, very few people come up here. I grip the handle of the door and steel myself against whatever is out there. The door gently opens, freeing the lock and opening silently.

The hallway is eerily empty, creating an unsettling atmosphere that is new to the space. The lights aren’t flickering or out entirely, so there’s a silver lining. From my room, the elevator sits diagonally across, its buttons glowing brightly. It reaches the first floor, and a soft ding fills the air. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but what are the odds that it’s the person leaving my floor? A part of me feels like the older horror movies that have the stereotypical dumb blonde wanting to go see. The other part of me that’s overly cautious knows I should stay put.

Just as I’m about to return to the room, I notice a black envelope taped to the door. They’ve been more frequent lately. I figured the Shadow man just didn’t want to admit the truth when he asked me about them and didn’t deny it. I’ll ask him about it next time. No way he’s doing whatever he wants until he comes clean with me. Determined, I rip it off the door and tear it open. My heart skips a beat and my brow wrinkles. The ominous letter feels heavier than usual.

You were so easy to find :)

My nail catches on something taped to the back and when I flip it over, the walls of the hallway close in on me. The blood drains from my skin and my lips part in silent terror. A picture of my sister's headstone stares back at me. In messy handwriting it on the bottom of the Polaroid shatters my mind. “She’s gone because of you.”

The vicious poison of hopelessness has finally settled into the cracks of my soul, no longer able to be held off by my sister’s memory. I thought by gaining a connection with the Shadow or even River I could stumble through life. I let hope weave it’s way into my heart that I could carry on without my sister.

My fingertips trace the glossy tombstone holding my sister's name. Addison L. Carter. I choke on my breath. A sucker punch seizes my lungs. No…not a punch. An echo of it, the aftershocks that leave me with the clarity I’ve been running from.

Murder.

Pyro.

Bitch.

Pet.

This will never end.

“Priya?” River’s soft voice calls out snapping me out of my trance. I shut the door double checking it’s locked before reassuring River that it’s safe.

“Who was it?”

“The hall was empty,” I say quietly, crawling back into the warmth of my bed, hoping she won’t see the decision I made out in the hallway written on my face.

I leave the corner of the blanket pulled down for her to join me. I lay on my side to give my sore ass a reprieve from being laid on. “What time is it?” I yawn.

The bed sinks with her weight, but she doesn’t lie down. “3:30AM.”

Damn, I slept a whole day away. I feel slightly better, thanks to River sneaking in a real pain pill. Maybe that’s why I’m so drowsy. Why is she even awake at this time?

“Pri? Can I ask you something?”

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Even if I were to say “No, go to sleep.” She’d still ask.

“Yeah.”

“Why aren’t you like the other girls here?”

The sensation of my eyebrows coming together causes my eyes to squint and the moonlight to become a blurry haze.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, you’re not as stuck up as I would assume someone who has never had to work a day in their life would be. You’re not belittling and bringing people down.”

“Is Amber bothering you, Riv?”

“No, it’s not that. When I first heard I was getting someone on the third floor with me, I thought you’d be someone like Amber and you’re not what everyone expected.” This feels like judging a book by its title or whatever they say. I don’t know what to tell her, so I shrug.

“You don’t wear the same name brand clothes as they do.”

“That’s because my parents didn’t allow me to wear name brand clothes.”

“Why?” she asks quietly.

A sigh involuntarily escapes me, craving to steer clear of these types of questions. I thought shit got deep at 2 am not 3:30.

“I don’t know, River. My parents said it was a privilege I didn’t deserve. I only got name brand things whenever I was needed to go to an event or show my face to the public with them.”

“You don’t talk like them.”

“No one ever really talked to me but my sister. She’s all I had to go by. So, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

“You’re really quiet. The way you carry yourself is different. The etiquette and manners seem off compared to what I’ve seen since my family came into money.”

She’s just a chatty Kathy tonight. I’m quiet because my dad would beat me more than usual if I spoke out of turn. I have nothing to be stuck up about. Everything I love and cared for is gone.

“Go to bed, River.” I throw the blankets over her and turn over. This conversation makes me uncomfortable. I’m not used to being put on the spot and asked questions like this. I’ve never had to explain it to someone before. My sister just knew. She watched me live through most of it.

My sister. The thought makes my stomach turn. Someone needs to remember her the right way when I’m gone. Or maybe if we’re together it wouldn’t matter anymore. They could remember us or not and it would be okay because my life would’ve been what it was always supposed to be. I’m nothing without her.

“Are your parents coming to the Parent’s Day?” She’s not taking the hint. I huff at her incessant badgering.

“No, River. In case you haven’t gathered it yet, my parents don’t fucking like me.”

“Oh.”

She wants more from me. Prodding isn’t something she usually does, leaving me to wonder what’s going on that’s sparked the sudden interest. A part of me feels guilty. Maybe she just wants to fill the silence with talking and I’m just shutting her out and leaving her alone. Something people have done to her before and that’s the reason she’s more timid tonight. I don’t want to be that person.

With a sigh, I give in and turn around to face her in the dark. She’s staring off into space, not really here with me. Fuck, I’m such a bitch. Who am I to think she buries her trauma and not relive it every night? Whenever we’re together, I always end up dozing off before she does, and to make matters worse, she didn’t have to stay here and monitor me.

“When is Parent’s Day?”

“The weekend after Halloween.”

My eyes dart to the kitchenette, where a school calendar hangs on the wall. Halloween. My birthday, the first one without my sister to make it worth more than another day. I don’t want to spend one year without her… I could make this my last birthday. River’s gasp breaks through the sinister thoughts.

“Ohmigosh! There’s going to be a Halloween party this year. Well, there is every year, but it’ll be your first one here. They’re legendary! We have to go! The theme for last year was a gothic/Victorian era. The year before that was Alice in Wonderland, and in my first year here they did a haunted house theme. The Demons are assholes but they know how to throw a party.”

I’ve never been to a Halloween party. I’ve seen the trick-or-treaters walking around our street before. But most of the time I’m roped into some “important” political dinner for my father. He’s been trying to get his greedy claws into a senator title the past couple of years. Every year he swears it’ll be the year. Reminds me of when people talk about their favorite NFL team, and still don’t win.

“I’ve never been to one,” I say nonchalantly. Despite the cover of darkness, her widened eyes shine bright white, showing that her previous thoughts have vanished. Plotting, I’m sure.

“Priya!” she shrieks, causing my head to throb. “You’ve never been to a Halloween party?”

I wish this time her excitement was contagious enough, but the only thing I can think of is wanting to go to my first one with Addi. She would have loved to have gone. To satisfy her love for holidays, she would dedicate her room as a sanctuary, filled with festive decorations that were banned from the rest of the house.

“This year, it’s a black light circus/carnival themed! It’s going to be amazeballs.”

“Please feel free to never use that word again.” I giggle at her ridiculousness. Her chilly hands grab at my unusually warm ones that were tucked under my cheeks and hold them. She looks at me. Her eyes betray the seriousness she’s trying to project with mischief.

“We have to go together. Nonnegotiable.”

“Riv, that’s really not a good day for me. I’d realistically just like to stay and relax. Plus, who knows how I’ll feel by that day? I can’t miss something I’ve never had.” My words may convey one thing, but the true meaning runs much deeper. I’ve never celebrated my birthday and anytime I’ve had hopes, my parents ruined them. Forgetting or ignoring the fact I was born that day. I don’t want to hype myself up over having a “good” birthday.

“Oh, we’re going. There is no way you won’t be back in class on Monday, Miss Straight-A student. I was just hoping by giving you a choice you’d choose correctly. You didn’t. I would start looking for an outfit. Everyone dresses up. That isn’t an exaggeration. I already have my costume in mind.”

Fine, I’ll bite. “What is it?”

She playfully smacks me and tells me it’s a surprise. I roll my eyes and wince at the movement. I need to go back to sleep to sleep off this concussion. Nothing a little sleep won’t fix, right?

River finally settles back down into bed and cuddles up close to me. I’ve never really felt like a big sister before, but River makes me feel that way. Even with her head laying on the pillow next to me with her eyes closed, I can still feel the excitement vibrating from her.

“Go to sleep, River.” I scold. She pretends to snore like she’s actually sleeping. I pull the comforter around her shoulders and tuck her in before pushing a piece of her dark bangs that falls over her eyes behind her ear and close my eyes. If this is going to be my last birthday, I can have a last hurrah. Sleep tonight and plan a kick ass outfit. My decision has me feeling the peace I’ve longed for my entire life. There’s just one little thing…

“Hey, River?” Her fake snores stop as she peeks an eye open. “I haven’t really had the time to tell you about my recent discovery. A lot of things have happened back to back,” Oscar, the Demons. It never really seemed like the right timing to reveal to her what I found out. “But that day in the hallway before…” I swallow around saying his name because the thought of Oscar Bush makes me want to vomit, knowing I haven’t retaliated in the slightest. “Anyway … I noticed the student photos of the school and three years ago when the guys were freshmen, Megan Riley was here too.”

My eyebrows draw together when her body tenses next to mine. I haven’t even said what I was going to say yet. All the times I’ve brought up the missing girl from the gas station to River, she’s reacted negatively. I know I’m not Nancy Drew, but it is suspicious.

“She looked cozy with Saint. At the least, friendly. For the rest of the years, everyone keeps a noticeable distance from the boys. That’s weird, right?” I ask for reassurance that I wasn’t crazy for thinking that way.

“Mmhmm.”

I shrug and shake my head, clearly not getting anywhere with her on this topic. For the last time I drop it. It won’t matter anymore anyway.