All Hallows Eve, Vol. 3

Chapter 1

One

Phoenix

Brain dead.

Let her go.

We’ve done all we can.

I watch the doctor’s mouth move, but those three statements are all I can hear. They act like my life isn’t falling apart and I’m not losing the only person who’s ever had my back.

“Phoenix. I’m sorry, but we need an answer.”

She’s the only person I have left, and they want me to decide to end her life. I grab her hand and lay her palm against my cheek, just like she’s done so many times. I look at the tube running down her throat, the only thing that’s keeping her alive. The car accident was almost fatal, and she was essentially dead on the scene. I’d never seen that much blood before, and I watched as they revived my mother in the emergency room three times before they rushed her to surgery. Her injuries were extensive, and there was nothing they could do. For two weeks, she’s laid in the hospital bed, and I’ve had to watch her health fade.

“She’s an organ donor, so we need to act fast.”

I close my eyes, feeling tears roll down my cheeks. I’ve had twenty-one years with this amazing woman in my life. She dealt with me acting out in school after my dad left, bailed me out of jail more than once, and never gave up on me. How can they ask me to make this decision so fast?

“Phoenix—”

“Shut up! Just…give me a minute.”

“I’ll be at the desk.” The doctor leaves with a huff, and I have to grit my teeth not to make a scene. Mom wouldn’t like that.

“I’m so sorry about him, Phoenix.” I look up at Candice’s voice, the kind nurse trying to help me through this. “Take all the time you need.”

I scoot my chair closer and lay my head on her stomach. “How am I supposed to live without her?”

Candice checks her IV bags and walks to my side of the bed, squeezing my shoulder in comfort. “Losing a parent is never easy, and I wish I could tell you what you need to hear. It gets easier, but it never stops hurting.” I look at her when I hear the catch in her voice. “You’ll be able to live a normal life eventually, and that’s what they want for you.”

“Have you lost someone?”

“My dad recently passed away, so I know what you’re feeling right now. She wouldn’t want you to give up.”

I lay my head back down, closing my eyes. “I don’t have anything left.”

“I think you do. I’ll be right outside if you need me.” She’s gone before I can say anything, and I let the beeping of the machines fade into the background. I’ve gotten used to the sound; weirdly, they’re comforting. It means that Mom is still alive. I know what the right thing to do is, but I can’t bring myself to say the words.

“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper, letting my tears soak into her blankets. “I’ll lose a piece of myself if I let you go. You’re all I have.”

I lay there, memorizing her face. She has the same dark shade of brown hair, but her eyes are green instead of dark brown like mine. She gave up her life to take care of me, and I refuse to be selfish. Being kept alive by tubes isn’t what she would have wanted.

Before I can change my mind, I hit the nurse call button and ask for the doctor to come back in. When he walks in, I sit back and wipe my eyes.

“How long will it take?” I ask.

“Excuse me?”

“How long will she live when you take the tube out?”

“Minutes, maybe.”

“Will she be in any pain?”

He sits in the chair on the other side, and for the first time, I see empathy. “No. She’s heavily sedated. She’ll go peacefully. Phoenix, I know this is hard, but she’ll save many lives.”

“Can I stay with her?”

“Yes.”

Taking a deep breath, I squeeze her hand. “I’m ready.”

“I’ll have Candice bring the paperwork in. Once that’s done, I’ll be back.”

Candice comes into the room minutes later, and I sign my name before I change my mind, effectively ending my mother’s life. The doctor comes back in, and when I nod, he starts removing the tube from her throat. While holding her hand, I watch her take her last breath. I feel a hand on my back and know without looking that it’s Candice. She reaches over and turns off the heart machine that’s screaming that there’s no heartbeat.

“Time of death, thirteen-thirty-four.”

I stand up and kiss her cheek. “I love you, and I’ll see you soon.”

I leave the room, ignoring Candice calling my name. Everything else is taken care of for the wake and funeral, so I have nothing left to do. I ignore the worried looks of the ICU nurses at the desk and stab the button for the elevator, feeling the walls closing in on me when the doors close.

Brain dead.

Let her go.

We’ve done all we can.

Time of death, thirteen-thirty-four.

It all keeps echoing in my head, reminding me that the first time my mom ever needed me, I couldn’t save her. There’s only one way that I can see her again.

I exit the hospital with one goal in mind. I pull my black hood over my head, fighting the cold. The walk back to my apartment seems longer than it normally does. My booted feet feel as heavy as my heart. I go the two blocks to the street that will take me home, my head down, going over everything I need to do, which isn’t much. My apartment is a shithole, and I have very little that I can call my own. I just need to make it through my mom’s services, and I can finally leave this fucking earth. I turn the corner, walking faster with each step.

“Hey!” I ignore whoever’s calling out and hear footsteps running up behind me. “Sir?”

I whirl around, and I can only imagine what my face looks like when the guy’s eyes widen. “What?” I bark.

He holds up a bright red flower with a sheepish look. “I thought you could use this.” I see light brown hair hanging over his forehead beneath his hood and bright blue eyes. He smiles slightly, and two dimples appear on his red cheeks. “You look sad. I just wanted to brighten your day.”

I reach out for the flower with a gloved hand and inspect it. It isn’t this guy’s fault what happened, and my mom’s words about me being nicer ring in my head. “Thank you.”

His smile widens, and I’m drawn into the brightness of it. “You’re welcome. Uh, have a good day.” He gives me a little wave and jogs back over to a guy that’s waiting for him.

I spin on my heel and walk the last few steps to my apartment building. I shove into the front door and run up to my apartment on the third floor. I quickly unlock the door, open it, and step inside. Kicking the door shut behind me, I pull my boots off and gently lay the flower on the table before taking my jacket off.

I go to the kitchen and grab a glass, run some water in it before placing the flower inside of it. My eyes trace every petal, and my mind wanders back to the guy who gave it to me. He was small for a guy, probably a few inches shorter than my six-foot-two, and he was petite. Definitely not my usual type because I like women, but something about him is calling to me.

He may be something to hold me on Earth a little longer.