All I See Is You

8. One I Want

Chapter eight

One I Want

Quinn

W hit kept me in the bathroom for entirely way too long as she talked about Travis and the other ranch hands. The whole time, all I wanted was to get back to Hux. Being around him, talking to him…I liked it. I liked it far too much for just meeting him earlier that day. There was no denying it, though. Something pulled me to him. Drew me in. Call it fate or chance, but there was a spark in my soul that I hadn’t known was there until meeting him.

A terrifying, and yet oddly exhilarating notion, if I were being perfectly honest.

Between the little bit of alcohol I’d consumed and the excitement that thrummed in my veins, I practically bounced all the way back to the bar after leaving Whit.

Only Hux wasn’t there.

Both our stools were empty, and the bartender had already grabbed up the drinks and was wiping down the countertop as if we were never even there. I glanced toward the pool tables, wondering if maybe he’d gone there.

“He ain’t here, sweetheart.”

I whirled at the bartender’s smokey voice. “Do you know where he went?” I asked, making my way to the bar.

She nodded her head at the doors leading outside. “He closed out the tab and left a few minutes ago.”

Worry and confusion ate at me, writhing in my stomach like snakes. “I don’t understand,” I breathed out, more to myself than anyone else.

I mean, I saw how upset he’d gotten when I’d asked about his accident. His hands trembled with anger as he’d downed my margarita like it was nothing but a glass of orange juice. But I thought we’d gotten past that. He seemed calm enough when I went to the bathroom with Whit.

“He’s been known to be like that,” the bartender replied.

My gaze snapped to hers, a frown drawing on my lips. “What do you mean?”

“Huxson Lane always had a bit of a temper.”

“How do you know him?”

I’d noticed earlier when she’d recognized him. The awe in her voice, the look of excitement on her face had given me major celebrity vibes, but I didn’t know of a Huxson Lane. Maybe he was like a local singer or something?

“Darlin’...just about every damn cowboy in Texas knows who he is. He was a two time World Champion bull rider before his accident.”

I didn’t know anything about rodeos, but two time World Champion sounded pretty important.

“You should look him up. He was incredible. It’s a shame what happened.” She offered me a wistful shrug.

My heart ached for him. He must have lost so much. But none of that answered why he’d left. I had to find him. First off, something told me he would be the sort of prideful to try and walk himself all the way home. And second, I couldn’t just let him leave. I’d felt something with him. A spark. A connection. He may be stubborn and drunk and willing to throw it all away, but I wasn’t, goddamn it.

So, after thanking the bartender, I hurried out of the bar, hoping, praying to God I found him. The moon had risen high into the night sky, but the town still teemed with life. I glanced right then left as I stood in the middle of the sidewalk before The Haystack. Oh God, he could have gone either way. Uphill. Downhill. Left. Right.

Biting my lip, I took a deep breath and headed downhill toward the right. Please let me find him.

I made it half a block before I found his dark figure leaning against the wall of what appeared to be another bar. This one had a band playing. Something country and a bit twangy from the sound of it. He bobbed his head to the beat and pressed something to his lips.

Relief flushed some of the worry from my veins, but a hint of it still remained. I still had questions. Like why he’d left?

“Hux,” I said hesitantly as I approached.

He tensed as I came to a stop beside him, a cloud of smoke billowing out from his lips as he exhaled. The scent was sweet, not bitter like a cigarette. Tobacco, then. So it wasn’t vanilla I’d smelled on him earlier. Made sense.

“What do you want?” His tone was brusque, uninviting. He didn’t even look my way as he spoke, but instead faced toward the street, his gaze upturned like he was looking up at the star-flecked sky. I wondered if he missed seeing it. I know I would if I were in his position.

The coldness in his voice cut deep, but I did my best to ignore it as I asked, “Why did you leave?”

He just shrugged and pressed his sweet smelling cigar to his lips once more, taking a deep drag before blowing it out slowly. “Why are you here, Quinn?” He sounded tired. Defeated. And sad. So sad. But why? What had happened in the few minutes I’d been in the bathroom?

“When I came back you were gone. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’ve been blind for damn near three years, darlin’, and I’ve managed just fine. I don’t need help and I don’t need pity.” He flicked the ash from his cigarillo before pressing it to his lips once more.

God, he was being a dick, but even as frustration sparked to life in me, I got the feeling his anger wasn’t geared at me in particular. “Do you think that’s why I came to find you?” I asked softly. “Out of pity?”

He shrugged, another cloud of smoke escaping him. “Wouldn’t be the first person.”

The admission broke my heart. “I would never do that.”

“Why are you wastin’ your night on me, Quinn? Why you botherin’ with some washed up, deadbeat cowboy who ain’t ever gonna be anythin’ more in life than a blind has been?”

And there was the root of his anger. Presented with such harsh, raw honesty that it brought tears to my eyes. He hated his situation. Hated himself.

He might think he was worthless. Washed up. But I didn’t see that. I saw strength. And grit. And perseverance. Even as my hands trembled with sadness, I grabbed his free hand in both of mine and settled before him. “I like you, Hux. You’re honest and brash and you aren’t afraid to speak your mind. I like how you make me feel. I feel…seen. Which may not make any sense, but I feel like I can be myself with you.”

He huffed and put out his cigar, but something soft washed over his features as he faced my direction. “Yeah, I see you, Quinn.” And the way he said it, so sad and quiet, I wasn’t sure if he understood what I meant or if he was just being condescending.

“I would never ever lead you on,” I whispered.

he huffed, though there wasn’t much conviction. With a rush of confidence, I lifted a hand to his chest and bunched my fingers into the fabric of his shirt, drawing him down to me even as I pushed up on tiptoe.

I brushed my lips against his, the sweet taste of tobacco enveloping me. For a moment, he didn’t move. Didn’t so much as breathe. Fear trickled to life within my soul. Had I made a mistake? Had I taken it too far? Been too bold? Too forward? My heart fluttered nervously in my chest, beating against my ribs like a bird trapped in a cage.

Then one of his hands was in my hair, the other dragging my body to his, and he kissed me with a fierceness that stole the air from my lungs. I melted into his touch, riding the wave of desire that he created in me.

How could I feel this alive, this wild, this free with someone I’d just met? I’d been with Devin for years and never felt an inkling of this. Was this normal? Was this what it was supposed to feel like?

I pulled away first, breaking the kiss, my breath coming out shallow and rapid. Releasing his shirt, I pressed my palm to his chest and said softly, “Did that feel like a pity kiss to you?”

His hand slid from my hair before coming up to clutch my chin, tilting my face up toward his. And even though I knew it wasn’t possible, it’s like that sunglasses stare saw straight through me, down into the deepest, darkest parts of my soul. A ripple of desire went through me. “I think I might need more convincin’.” His words were husky, low, deep.

Laughter flowed from me, along with a wave of excitement. Pressing up on tiptoe, I kissed him once more. There was an intensity, a ferocity to his touch, his kisses that made me feel like I was drowning, but I didn’t mind one bit. I didn’t care that we were making out in the middle of the sidewalk. I didn’t care that any and everyone could see us. The entire world might as well not even exist right now. Not as his mouth moved against mine, and he held me as if I were a precious treasure.

I could get drunk off the lust that pumped through me. I wanted him. I wanted every inch of him that he was willing to give.

He broke the kiss this time, though he held me close. “What do you wanna do, darlin’?”

I’d never been one to think pet names were cute. Maybe because mine growing up had been Q ueenie or my queen, which just sounded so melodramatic and obnoxious. But there was something about the rough, deep sound of his voice and that sexy way he dropped the ‘g’ with his accent that melted me like butter.

“Wanna go inside? The band sounds kinda good.” I pressed a kiss to his lips. “Or we could go back to the house and go on that walk?” Another kiss. “Or we could…” my words trailed off, but the implication hung in the air between us.

His grip on me tensed just the slightest bit. “You want that?” Disbelief rang in his words.

How could he not think of himself as a catch? So what if he couldn’t see? He was still plenty capable. Plenty endearing. Plenty funny.

I’d just have to show him, I guess.

The realization hit me like a freight train. I wasn’t usually a hook up kinda girl. I wasn’t made for a one-night stand. Well, at least I hadn’t been with Devin. I didn’t have any experience other than him. Just the thought of standing here, wrapped in Hux’s arms, kissing him in public—Devin never would have stood for that.

Good thing I’m not with him anymore .

If I were being honest, I’d definitely leveled up. And I’d be damned if I let this opportunity slip through my fingers. Not when Hux’s touch scorched my soul and made me feel alive.

So, I kissed him once more, slow and deep, letting every unspoken emotion pass between us. When I pulled back, I nipped at his bottom lip teasingly before murmuring, “I want you, Hux.”

The appreciative growl of approval that rumbled out of his chest sent a shiver down the length of my spine. “Let’s get back to the house, then darlin’.”