All I See Is You

10. The Worst Way

Chapter ten

The Worst Way

Hux

“ I want you to fuck me, please.”

I don’t know what I loved more, the fact that this sweet, sunshine soul had a mouth on her, or the fact she asked me to please fuck her. Manners and a foul mouth . One thing was for sure though, I was helpless but to oblige her.

There was something enchanting about Quinn. Maybe it was her innocence, her honesty, but something drew me to her. She was a beacon of light…of hope in a starless night-time sky.

I kissed her, enjoying the feel of her lips on mine and how reactive her body was to my touch. The hisses and moans and little gasps of pleasure did something to my soul, spurring me on.

Her hands fumbled with my belt buckle before moving on to my button and zipper. I broke the kiss, rocking back enough to grab out my wallet from my back pocket.

“Wh–what are you doing?” Quinn’s tone echoed with concern and confusion.

I felt around for the condom Travis had handed me before we’d gone out tonight. Maybe he wasn’t a complete dumbass after all. “I’m looking for a—” My words fell away, frustration taking over as I struggled to do the most basic fucking task. I’d just put it in there.

“Oh, a condom?” At least she didn’t sound upset anymore. “I’m on birth control. So, if you can’t find it…” Her words trailed off, but I got the implication easily enough.

Well, shit . I tossed my wallet, and a giggle escaped her as her hands found my waist again. Her soft, delicate fingers seared me as she dragged them over my flesh, but I didn’t mind. I’d gladly burn for a taste of her.

I rose from the bed for a moment, shucking off my boots, socks, and jeans before returning to her. Peppering kisses to her soft, flawless skin, I slowly situated myself atop her. I know she’d said she wasn’t a virgin, but a part of me wondered just how much or little experience she had. But despite her lack of confidence earlier, she moved with grace and a quiet surety as she guided my hips to her cunt.

Her gasp as I slid slowly into her nearly shattered all of my resolve. Fuck, she felt good. So damn good. I picked up a slow pace, enjoying the feel of her beneath me. Quinn’s hands slid up and down my back while she rained kisses on my chest, my shoulders, my lips.

I hated to sound like a damn hopeless romantic, but fuck…it’s like she’d been made specifically for me. The way she fit and moved against me. The way her sweet, tight cunt fit around my cock. Each pump of my hips sent the sweetest damn moans from her lips, and that alone nearly did me in. Fuck, I wished I could see her. I wondered if the pleasure had gotten to her yet, forcing her eyes shut as she let the desire move through her. Or maybe she wanted more?

“This good, darlin'?” I asked, pressing a kiss to her jaw before trailing a path up to her ear. This close it was easy enough to almost feel like I wasn’t blind. There were only so many places to caress and touch. “How are you feelin’?”

The appreciative little moan that fell from her lips as she arched into me sent a ripple of desire straight to my cock—enough to make me see stars. Fuck, I was close.

Her fingers continued their dance across my back, and her voice was husky as she spoke. “Harder.”

My lips tugged into a grin against the column of her neck. “Gladly, darlin’,” I growled out.

Grabbing the back of her left leg, I pulled it up high on my side, stretching her hips wider as I pumped in and out. The moan that came out of her sent another surge of lust through me.

Goddamn .

We moved in perfect tandem, her fingertips digging into my flesh as she clung to me. Each little sound from her, each pump of my hips sent my desire swelling and surging within me.

"That's it. You're doin' so good, darlin'. You're takin' me so well."

“F-fuck yes,” she breathed, her voice a sultry melody I could listen to on repeat.

Her cuss was somehow both the most wholesome and sexiest thing I’d ever heard, and I liked what it did to me. The emotion that it brought as my heart thumped a fast, thunderous beat in my chest. I quickened my pace, ramped up the intensity, thrusting into her wet pussy in hard, deep strokes that sent that wave of desire threatening to break upon me at any moment. Her breathing had already turned ragged, her moans and cries picking up in volume. If those were any gauge, I’d say she was close as well. Dipping my mouth in the direction of her chest, I peppered kisses across her skin until I found the swell of her breast. Not slowing my pace, I nipped at her peaked nipple before running my tongue over it to soothe the hurt. She cried out, her body rippling beneath me, her fingernails digging into my shoulders.

“Hux,” she warned, the word grated out, like she was clenching her teeth.

My name on her lips was like a siren song. I didn’t think I could last any longer even if I tried. Repeating the action, I sucked her nipple into my mouth and slammed into her in a quick, brutal succession. Her body writhed beneath mine, her own orgasm taking her, her inner walls clenching around my cock tightly. Bursts of light erupted against the eternal blackness of my vision as I came hard and fast. So fast I didn’t even manage to pull out.

Well, fuck . She was—that was…

“Fuck.” I blew out a breath and my muscles turned to jello and gave way as I rolled off her and laid on my back. I hadn’t come like that in a long, long fucking time. I could tell myself that maybe it had to do with the fact I hadn’t gotten laid in at least two years, but I’d be a liar. This was different.

I was smitten. Enchanted. Enamored. Some would even say fucked. Call it whatever the hell you wanted, but I knew one thing for certain.

I wanted more.

Quinn snuggled up against my left side, resting her head on my chest as we both took a moment to control our breathing. For a time, silence lingered in the room—not the awkward, stilted kind, but the kind of content, peaceful quiet that reminded me of watching the sunrise or the stars bursting to life in the nighttime sky.

My fingers trailed lazy paths up and down her side and she let out a soft, appreciative sigh that both managed to soothe and exhilarate me.

There was something different about Quinn.

I’d never been with anyone like her. One so earnest, honest, innocent. The old me hadn’t wanted to deal with someone like her, and inevitably breaking their soft heart. Too messy. Too many strings to detach and sever when I inevitably moved on. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been wild and selfish, and treated my relationships a little too callously back then.

But since the accident, well, I hadn’t dated much. At all, really. I’d tried once or twice, but most people only wanted to be around me because of who I had been, not who I was now. The two were night and day.

I wasn’t Huxson Lane anymore. I wasn’t a bull rider. I wasn’t a rodeo cowboy.

I was washed up, used, broken.

Most people don’t wanna take time to fix broken things. Not when it’s so much quicker and easier to find something new, better even. Quinn didn’t strike me as the type to be afraid of a little wear and tear, though. Not when she could breathe life back into something. I still remembered what she’d said at the bar. I don’t think I’d ever get that out of my head.

“Truth for a truth,” she said, breaking the silence.

I huffed. “Is this another one of your drinkin’ games—that we failed at, by the way.”

Her laugh was light and warm. “Speak for yourself. You’re the one who wasn’t playing by the rules and drinking out of turn.”

Well, she had me there. “Alright, so what’s your truth?”

“When you pulled out your wallet, for a second I thought you were planning on paying me like I was…like I was a whore or something.”

I laughed. That explained her reaction then. “Why the hell would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” she laughed. “I have really weird intrusive thoughts, I guess.”

“If you say so.” I kissed the top of her head. “Alright, my truth now, I guess. I’m sorry but also not sorry for leavin’ earlier.”

I felt her head shift, and I could just envision her cocking her head to the side like a confused puppy. Probably an adorable golden retriever or something. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, I’m sorry for stormin’ off like that and worryin’ you. I shouldn’t have done that. But I ain’t sorry for this… And I doubt this would’ve happened had I not left.”

She pressed a kiss to my chest, the place her lips touched burning to life with desire. “Well, I'm sorry not sorry too, then. I’m sorry that you would think I would lead you on like that. But I’m glad that we ended up here as well.”

Silence descended once more and my eyelids grew heavy. I focused on the sound of her breathing, the feel of her soft, warm skin on mine—like velvet or silk.

Her voice sounded far away when she spoke, and it was only then I realized I’d started to drift off. “Was that—was I okay?”

I stilled beneath her. The sound of her voice. The timidness, the fear—I clenched my jaw. Who the hell made her feel like she wasn’t good enough? Some fucking asshat who probably didn’t know the first thing about pleasing a woman went and made her feel like she’d done something wrong. That was the only explanation i could think of for her to ask that.

My hand found its way to her cheek, and even though I couldn’t see her, I forced her attention on me. “You were fuckin’ amazing, darlin'.” The sound that came out of her was like a mixture of a sob and a huff. It pulled on my heartstrings. “Why would you think that you weren’t good enough?” I couldn’t hold back the anger in my voice, and I prayed to God she understood it wasn’t aimed at her, but whatever fucking dickhead made her feel less than.

“I just…I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I…” The bed shifted and the warmth of her body vanished, her sweet, already familiar scent drifting away. I bit back a curse, instantly missing her touch.

So I sat up too, though I didn’t reach for her. Not yet. Something told me she needed this moment. To sort out her emotions. Her thoughts.

When she spoke, her voice was small, weak. “I’ve only ever been with one guy, and, well…sex was always one of our weak points. I guess I’m just a bit self-conscious because of that.”

“You got nothin’ to be insecure about. Whatever problem that asshat had was on him, not on you.”

Choked laughter escaped her, but sadness still lurked beneath the surface as she sniffled. “I’m sorry, I’m a stupid, sobbing mess.”

Fuck, was she crying? What the hell?

No, I wouldn’t allow that. Reaching forward, I scooped her up into my lap. She melted against me, fitting in my arms like she’d been made for them. Were soulmates a thing, or was I just so fucking whipped that I’d believe anything was a sign at this point? Was I so starved for a connection with someone that I was making shit up?

No, this wasn’t me just being desperate. I didn’t believe that. Maybe with someone else. But, I don’t know, Quinn didn’t strike me as the type to just sleep with anyone. Not when she clearly had a past.

“Hey…hey now, no cryin’,” I murmured as she wrapped her legs around my waist and rested her head in the crook of my neck, right between my collarbone and jaw. Her body quaked with quiet sobs.

Well, shit. I hadn’t expected things to take such a drastic turn. I found her face with my hands and cupped her cheeks. “Quinn, hey. What’s goin’ on?”

Another sniffle. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know. I just—you’re probably used to being with these super confident, super sexy women, then here I am, all self-conscious and pathetic and insecure.”

“Who said you aren’t sexy as hell?” I asked, pressing a whisper-soft kiss to her lips.

Her weak disbelieving laugh spoke volumes of what she thought of herself. “I’m not. Trust me.”

I gripped her chin, not too tightly, but with a firmness that I hoped urged her to understand what I meant was important. “You don’t get to tell me what I think is sexy, darlin’. You don’t have to agree, but you got no control over what I think. I like you, Quinn. I like how you make me feel. I like that with you, the darkness doesn’t seem so, well, it doesn’t seem so dark. So fuckin’ bleak." I blew out a breath. "More days than not, I think of how much I hate what’s become of my life, but not today. So are you the most confident, experienced woman I’ve ever slept with? No. But you’re the first I’ve slept with who’s made me feel alive again. And I think that’s pretty fuckin’ sexy.”

Her fingertips brushed against my eyebrow, pushing my hair off my face. I wished I didn’t flinch at movement, but people touching my face always was a bit disconcerting now.

“Sorry,” she murmured, before asking weakly, “You hate your life?”

And there was so much sadness, so much honest curiosity in her words, that I almost told her everything. About the accident. The months of rehab after. Learning to walk again. Learning to live again—if what you could say I did now was living. Some days it felt like I did nothing more than survive.

I moved my hand from her chin, sliding it back along her jaw and into her hair. It was soft and silky and smelled nice. I kissed her, slow and deep, before pulling away only far enough to whisper against her lips, “This ain’t about me, Quinn. Right now’s all about you.”

“How are you even real?” she asked, a sense of awe in her words.

I brushed my lips against hers once more. “I could say the same about you, darlin’.”

An appreciative moan escaped her. “I like when you call me that.”

I let out a low chuckle and gripped her hair a little tighter, tilting her head back so I could rain kisses down her neck. She seemed to like that too. “Oh, yeah? How ‘bout you tell me what else you like?”

Her voice was tentative, but husky as she whispered, “How about I show you?”

I grinned against the base of her throat, biting gently at her collarbone before kissing the hurt away. “I’d like that very much.”

I took my time, learning every single inch of her. Her wants, her needs, her likes. What made her toes curl, what made her scream with desire. And when the two of us finally settled in for the night, when every nerve ending in my body was so awake and alive and burning that even the feel of her wrapped up in my arms was so intense it almost hurt, I knew that in the morning nothing would be the same.

Which was a terrifying, yet exhilarating notion, to be honest.